


A Change

by ERERIWORLD



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, BDSM, Car Accidents, Car Sex, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, illiterate!eren, safe word fail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 66
Words: 162,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2562947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERERIWORLD/pseuds/ERERIWORLD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuck in a world where words are jibberish and his best friend is dating his lover's ex, Eren meets his first love and first experience in the BDSM world. Levi takes him on all sorts of adventures and... maybe a few small feet will be walking on their kitchen floor in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Our Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Well... this was taken off DA so I'm posting it here. :/ Hope you enjoy! :D  
> * I don't own Attack on Titan, it's characters, or the songs *

Chapter 1  
  
Armin once told me that there’s someone out there for everyone. I had always thought that until I met him. No, this is chapter one. I can’t tell you about him yet. Now, most of the stories Armin reads to me are fast pace and get to the kissing very quickly. If you came for that, I am sorry my romance didn’t happen until a month after he started tutoring me in reading and writing. Don’t worry about that now though. That doesn’t happen until later. No, this is the first chapter you see so I shall start even before him.  
  
~~~  
  
I sighed and put on my red vest over my button down shirt. I put on slacks getting annoyed by Mikasa’s nagging to go faster. It was six in the goddamn morning and I hadn’t even had coffee yet. I really didn’t need her assistance right now. “I am hurrying! I don’t have to be at work for another two hours so shut up!”  
  
“Eren!” She hissed storming into my room and tripping over the mess that was all over my floors. “I told you this. In order for me to get you to the movie theater and for me to get to school you need to arrive two hours early.”  
  
“Yeah, cause I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” I grumbled slipping on a belt through the loops of my black pants and then stumbling around to put on my socks. “Just give me five goddamn minutes and then we’ll see where the fuck I am in getting ready.”  
  
“You watch your mouth. Your mother hated when you cussed.”  
  
I really didn’t fucking need this right now. I had stayed up all night gaming again and I really didn’t get much sleep. Of course, I know that was all my fault, but Mikasa shouldn’t just bring up my mother like that. She had died ten years ago due to a car wreck. I had been playing a video game in the front seat, Mikasa and Armin were in the back reading a book. We were going down to the cabin for a weekend of fun and swimming in the lake when a drunk driver came by and smashed into us. She had jumped in front of me to stop the airbag from crushing me. She had died in my lap. Armin had gotten a broken arm and Mikasa got away with little damage. When the ambulance came, it was already too late and my mother had been cold in my arms. The three of us had went to go live with my uncle, Hannes, and the drunk driver had died on impact. I shake my head to get the memory away. “Yeah, well, she’s not fucking here.” I pushed Mikasa out of the room and slam my door. I sighed and fall on my bed. That really hurt to say…  
  
Eventually, Mikasa came back with a coffee and I had walked out to the car and she drove me to the movies. I walked in and sat down on a chair that was about half my height and sat up straight. I couldn’t read, so my stupid manager always kept a close eye on what I did. He was always next to me on the register beside me. We were friends… at the very most. It’s not that I didn’t mind his existence he was just always really annoying. “Morning, horse face.”  
  
“Shut up, Yeager.” He smirked over at me. I really hated that condescending smirk.  
  
The movie theater was pretty popular. We’d had our regulars. Most were teenagers from a high school Armin and Mikasa went to. I never was good in school and thought they should use the money towards other necessities. Some people just thought I could never learn how to read and write since I was so far behind in my studies. I wasn’t a moron and I didn’t have any mental illnesses. I just couldn’t sit down and bother to learn. It felt like such a waste of time when I could work part time at a movie theater, which didn’t fulfil my time either. I look up to see an orange haired girl and a shaved haired guy.  
  
“Two for Sweethearts in Heaven.” The boy said as he got out his wallet. It was summer time so I was expecting them to come. They normally came whenever a lovey dovey movie came out. They’ve been coming here for three years.  
  
I tapped at the screen and forced a smile up at them. “That will be fourteen dollars.”  
  
The guy handed me a twenty while the girl clung to his arm. “Thank you for paying, Franz.” He smiled back at her while I handed him the change, tickets and the receipt. “See ya, Eren.”  
  
I wave to them then bring out my sketch book to doodle on while I waited for my next costumer, cause honestly, who comes to a movie theater at eight o’clock in the morning?  
  
“You’re getting good at drawing.”  
  
“Go suck a dick.” I grumble as I started to draw in a meadow with blue leaves and a tree, in the background was a wall with a gate. Sometimes I think humanity is imprisoned in their own lives. In their own routines. I feel like we get stuck in these ruts and that’s why we don’t like change. I wish there was something new this world could offer me, so I didn’t feel like I was in these walls in my picture. Humanity was like cattle. They did whatever their masters told them to do without even taking a second glance at what THEY wanted to do. I really did yearn to have a more exciting life than this. I wanted to risk my life for the good of humanity, but then again why should I? Humanity was the one to take my mother away from me. I hadn’t realized I had blackened a flower until it was too late. I sighed and started erasing it to make it just a gray shade again. It really wasn’t fair. Everything bad always happened to me.  
  
“You know, Yeager, it’s that bad attitude that makes you not approachable.” Jean muttered as he started to write more in his notebook. We always did this. He would write his stories and I’d draw my drawings. Sometimes he’d read them to me and I’d give my opinions, while sometimes he’d look through my sketchbook and pick out the ones he liked best, but other than that we really didn’t talk. We probably couldn’t stand to be so close together if we really did talk.  
  
Around noon, I walked out of the movies and walked down the strip mall on my break. The movie theater wasn’t far from where we lived but Mikasa didn’t want me to walk it. There was the movies, bath and body works, an ice cream shop, and a few massage places in the one strip and then restaurants scattered around in the parking lot. I walked across the parking lot to a burger joint that had cheap food that wasn’t entirely bad. I walk in and go up to the to-go register. “A burger with no pickles and mustard and a cookies and crème milkshake.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll get that to you in a few minutes.” A woman smiled as she punched in what I had ordered. “That will be ten dollars.”  
  
See what I mean? So cheap, yet so good. I gave her a ten and then sat on a barstool waiting for my order. This place was usually very busy so I always just took it back to the movie theater to eat while taking care of customers. Jean had complained at first, but after a while he decided it didn’t really matter since hardly anyone came in during the weekdays and the people who did didn’t care about what I was doing while handing out tickets. So, I walked back to my seat and started eating. This habit would later not be a habit due to a certain someone, but that is beside the point.  
  
“You really should have a better diet.” The horse face had the gall to say.  
  
“I can eat and drink however I want. It’s not that bad.” I muttered as I started to shade in my scene while I ate and sipped at my milkshake.  
  
“Aren’t you scared you’ll get ketchup all over your drawing?”  
  
“Aren’t you scared you’ll get hay all over your notebook?”  
  
“Shut up, Yeager. Can you go five minutes without making a horse joke about me? Seriously, I look nothing like a horse.”  
  
“You do.” I argued and sighed. “And no I don’t worry. I keep my sketchbook completely clean.” And just because my life is shit a blob of ketchup ended up on the corner of the page. I cursed and grabbed a napkin to dab it up.  
  
“Yeah, you’re really fucking clean.” Jean laughed and helped me before looking at our next customer.  
  
“Zombie Island!” The woman nearly shouted a handsome blond man standing behind her rolling his eyes.  
  
“Two tickets, please.” He said as he got out money and paid Jean.  
  
I watched and then sighed going back to my drawing. I started shading in the wall giving it the sigma of a woman with curly hair. I look up and nearly fall out of my seat when the woman was leaning over the counter to see what I was drawing. “FUCK!” I shouted in surprise as I kept my balance on my chair.  
  
“Yeager, apologize.” Jean rolled his eyes though he was snickering at my shock.  
  
“I’m sorry… I just didn’t see you there.” I blushed as I looked at the brown haired woman who wore glasses and had a pretty nice sized chest- not that I was staring. She was wearing a button down shirt and a stupid jacket that went only half way down her torso. What the fuck was up with that? That wasn’t going to keep you warm and no one else wore something like that so it wasn’t a fashion statement so why would anyone walk around with half a jacket on? I decided to call it a wannabe jacket. I would see it a lot more later on.  
  
“I like that wall. Where did you get this idea?” She asked in excitement and interest not caring that the taller blond was trying to pull her away so they could go see the movie they were late to.  
  
“In a dream actually.” I answered as I looked down and smiled. I was actually proud of this one.  
  
“WOAH! I’m doing a study on that! You see we’re scientists and I’ve been dealing with the inner mind. My hypothesis is that we see our past lives in our dreams. It’s illegal to do human experiments, sadly, so I haven’t been able to prove it, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.” I feel like most people would find this woman to be an absolute lunatic, but I wasn’t like most people.  
  
“Really? That seems pretty cool. Though I wonder how long ago this was then considering we don’t see the walls anymore…” I muttered sounding like a lunatic myself for believing her. I didn’t really care though, cause what if it’s true? I’ve always drawn these walls. They’ve always appeared in my dreams. I flip through the pages and stop when I got to a page where a part of the wall was at the bottom, but a skinless giant was looking over it. After I drew it I felt like I really was crazy, but… maybe humanity had fought these things at some point? I hadn’t noticed they walked off until I looked up and saw that the woman was being dragged to the snack line.  
  
“Shit, man, you really believed her.” Jean laughed and shook his head. “That’s Hanji. She’s a… well… she’s different.”  
  
“Yeah…” I muttered, but kept looking at my drawings. She was different. Sadly, this wasn’t the only different person I would be meeting in the near future.  
  
~~~  
  
When Mikasa and Armin got me after school, there was a silent, but short, car ride home. I walked in and sighed falling on the couch and turning on the TV. After Hanji made her appearance, I spent the day fixing my sketch, inking and coloring it while also handing out tickets. It got pretty boring after a while, so he was glad he only worked part time.  
  
Armin sat down next to me and smiled. “How was work today?”  
  
“Boring as hell.” I muttered and rubbed my eyes. “Horse face kept bugging me.”  
  
“You really should be nicer to him, Eren.” Armin sighed and snatched the remote away from me to change it from cartoons to a reality TV show.  
  
“Why should I?! He starts it first!” I whined crossing my arms. Armin has had a crush on Jean for the longest time. Jean was older than us by two years and he was a hardworking man. I could see the potential of why Armin would like him, but we both knew Jean was either taken by this Marco guy he always talks about or that he would be taking by this Marco guy.  
  
“Eren, do you even try to get to know him? He really isn’t that bad. He just has a short temper and likes to show off a little, but I mean if you have the stuff to back up your words why not show off?” Armin asked as he reclined in the couch and pulled out a text book to start doing his homework. If there was one thing I was good at, it was math. I could do numbers. It was just when letters would be put into words is when I started getting confused. Like how should I know when to say the different pronunciations of the letter a? English just seemed why too confusing. I scooted closer to see what they were learning and sighed knowing Arming didn’t need any of my help.  
  
“Because it’s annoying when someone is always a show off. I can’t stand that guy.” I growled and walked to the kitchen to see if Mikasa needed any help. She threw me out immediately. I wasn’t the best chief in the world. I could make stuff that comes in a box, but homemade meals were always better and Mikasa didn’t mind the cooking job in the house. We all had our jobs. Mikasa cooked. Armin cleaned. And I worked to pay the rent. I walked back to sit beside Armin until Mikasa called for us. At the end of the show she did, “Boys, dinner!”  
  
We both got up and walked to the dining room table. I sat at the head of the square table, Armin to my left and Mikasa across from me. I nibbled at the food, today’s dinner was spaghetti and sighed. I really wasn’t hungry. Well, I was, but I was so used to this constantly being the only thing happening in my life. Every day I worked, came home, did whatever I could to help, ate dinner, and then played video games or went to bed. I never got to do anything different. No one was stopping me so why should I just go out for a walk and see who else is out at this time of day? It would be something new at least, but no, I sit here, eat, go to my room, and hopefully sleep. If I was lucky. If not, I would either video game or Mikasa would nag me to sleep. Sometimes I really wish I could just get away from her. I understood how she felt and how she basically raised all three of us, but I was sixteen. I could manage my own life.  
  
“So, Eren, do you want to learn how to read and write?” She asked as she twirled her spaghetti and then ate it.  
  
“No one can teach me.”  
  
“I could.”  
  
“I really don’t want to be taught by you.”  
  
“Then Armin?”  
  
“I’m not teaching him. We already tried. He’s just too stubborn and won’t sit still.” Armin argued as he ate his own meal shaking his head a little too frantically.  
  
“We’ve already been through this. I don’t want to be taught and that’s final. I’ll learn it when I’m good and ready.” I said and got up. I put my plate on the counter for Armin to clean up later and walked to my room. I tried to play video games, but it wasn’t keeping my interest. I started to draw and that wasn’t keeping my interest either. So, I wound up laying on my bed and thinking about how much of a failure I’ve been. I couldn’t even describe how much I needed a life changing thing to happen in my life. Anything would do. I stared out my window and saw a shooting star fly by. “I wish something different happened to where it would change my life forever.” I whispered and fell back on my bed. It was childish, really, but it made me happy I could put my faith in a star. Things happen in strange ways. I don’t know if it was coincidence or not, but the next day I met him.  
  
And he met me.  
  
And it was our beginning.


	2. A Wish

Chapter 2  
  
Mikasa woke me up the next morning by pulling me out of bed and onto my messy floor. “Get up. It’s time for work.”  
  
“Can I just not?” I mumbled on the floor all tangled in the blankets and so warm. I didn’t want to leave the nice cozy fabric. Starting the day just seemed useless. I’d see the same faces. Draw the same pictures. Fight with Jean. Go home. Eat dinner. Sleep or play video games. I was sick of it.  
  
“You have to go or I’ll make you go back to school.” Mikasa argued throwing the blankets away from me letting the cold air hit my body. This only managed to piss me off more.  
  
“Fuck! Fine! Go away! I’ll get dressed!” I growled as I got up and put the blanket around me again, snatching it away from her, and walked over to my closet. I grabbed a black button down, white pants, some boxers, and then my red vest. I walked to my bathroom and shut and locked the door. I put everything on the toilet with a towel then stepped into the shower. I washed myself and hair before getting out and toweling off. I put on my clothes and walked out to my hot coffee and breakfast. I saw Armin run around in his boxers trying to get everything organized. If he wasn’t like a little brother to me, I would say he was very cute and teased him about going to the bedroom. He wasn’t my type though. I never really had a type. I’ve never dated anyone before so I wouldn’t even know how to go about it. I figured I’d spend the rest of my life with my two closest friends. I wouldn’t blame them for leaving me though. I couldn’t even read a goddamn menu at a restaurant.  
  
I ate the breakfast and then we all walked out to the car. Mikasa dropped me off at the movie theater with my bag and I watched them wave goodbye and then pull out onto the main road. I sighed as I walked into the movie theater. Jean wasn’t here because it was _six o’clock in the goddamn morning_ and the movie theater didn’t actually open until eight, but whatever. I can deal with some peace and quiet. Due to my arrangements Jean had gave me a key to unlock the theater, turn on the lights and get the ac going. It was summer time so I was relieved when he gave me that responsibility. I walk around all the empty theaters wondering how I should start the day. I stopped when I got to room number nine and saw the girl I had met yesterday. Hanji. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I didn’t have a weapon on me, but I was trained to fight if anyone messed with me. I also had the short temper to help with getting into fights.  
  
“Sorry… I fell asleep…” She yawned. “I was doing an experiment on human brain waves.”  
  
I hold up my hand and chuckled. “I don’t really care. Just don’t make a habit of it, okay?”  
  
She smiled and jumped up hugging me tightly. “Thank you, Eren!”  
  
“You’re very welcome.”  
  
Her phone rang and she gulped answering it. “H-Hello?”  
  
The voice on the other line was so loud I could hear him clearly. “Where the fuck are you, shitty glasses?! It’s my day off and now I have to deal with your fucking mess because you didn’t feed the testing animals and god fucking damnit I really don’t need this right now! Get your ass here NOW! I’m not staying here all fucking day cleaning up your shit!”  
“Right away, my sweet Levi.” She cackled and hung up. “I better go, Eren, see ya!”  
  
I made sure she actually left before going to the registered and making sure all the money was there. It was and I sighed in relief. I sat on my tall chair before getting out my sketchbook and started drawing a new picture. I had dreamt of this guy last night. Though, I couldn’t remember the face. Just the hair and hands. He wore a cape with wings on it. One black and one white. He really liked the design.  
  
I jumped when Jean slammed his hands down on my sketchbook when the clock turned to eight o’clock. “FUCK!” I looked up at him and glared. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”  
  
“You have pencil lead all over your hands. What are you working on?”  
  
“I dreamt of this guy in my dreams… I can’t place his face, I can’t remember his face, but… his stance intrigued me… and I remembered his hands.” I muttered having drawn the short man with his hands on his hips and the cape flapping behind him. He was wearing white pants and a button down. There was straps running all over him with the stupid wannabe jacket Hanji wore. Eren just wished he could finish the drawing.  
  
“He has a nice body. Not as nice as Marco’s, but yeah.” Jean shrugged and sat down.  
  
“Who is this Marco guy anyways?” I asked rolling my eyes as I turned to the next page and started to draw the person’s hands again wanting to get them just right. I felt like I touched them before. I felt like they’ve touched me before and not just a high five or holding hands type of way, but a full on touch all over my body. That’s what creeped me out the most.  
  
“He goes to Mikasa’s and Armin’s school. He’s fucking amazing, Eren. He has the cutest freckles. He’s funny. A total push over, but then he has this devil side. He’s just so amazing, Eren. He’s all that I’ve ever dreamed of. He’s more than that. Since I’m older I don’t want to like creep him out and push the topic of us being more than friends… but… I really don’t want to lie to him either.” Jean sighed looking at the ground.  
  
His answer through me off. I was expecting him to say he was some fuck buddy or something. Maybe Jean really wasn’t as bad as I thought he was. “You really like this guy.”  
  
“I do. We’ve been hanging out for more than a year. We just naturally clicked and I just…” Jean paused to rub his hands over his horse face. “I don’t want to fuck things up.”  
“I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’ve never dated anyone so…” Eren shrugged as he leaned on his elbow and started to work on the hands again. The small ones that were callused from holding swords. How did he know that’s what they were from?  
  
“Oi, brat.” A voice hissed making Jean and Eren look up and their eyes widened.  
  
Eren straightened up as he stared into gray eyes. It’s the guy from Hanji’s phone. “H-Hey…”  
  
“You didn’t hear a goddamn word I said, did you?” The man asked and put his hands on his hips.  
  
I gulped and started as I took in his appearance. “Damn, you’re hot.” I blurted out ignoring his question.  
  
Jean slapped his face with his palm as he shook his head. “Smooth, Eren.”  
  
The man raised an eye brow before the corner of his lip turned up a little. Was that his version of a smile or was I just seeing things? “Cute. What are you? Sixteen? Sorry, I don’t do jailbait. Now, I’d like to see The Purge.”  
  
“I’m…seventeen…” I muttered as I tapped on the screen my face blushing. “T-That will be seven dollars…”  
  
The man had a sharp undercut and piercing gray eyes. He looked very intimidating and I couldn’t believe I just blurted out the first thing I thought of. He was wearing a white shirt and was fitted to his body and dark skinny jeans. He also wore the brown wannabe jacket Hanji was wearing this morning. What the hell was that really a fashion for adults? Speaking of that, he looked so young, but apparently was older. I kept staring at him even though he already handed me a ten.  
  
“Oi, brat! Don’t make this a habit. Give my fucking ticket before I miss my movie.” He growled as he tapped his foot and crossed his arms glaring up at me. “Is it even good? It better be for seven fucking dollars.”  
  
I snapped out of my daze and looked down at the floor. “Oh, ummm… Sorry. Yeah, it’s pretty good if you’re into that sort of thing.” I grabbed the ten and got his change, ticket, and receipt before handing it to him. “Here, Levi.”  
  
Levi’s eyes widened a little before they narrowed suspiciously. “How did you know my name?”  
  
“Hanji was here this morning. I had woken her up by turning the lights and she scared me to death… then you called and I recognized your voice.” I answered and then blushed when I realized how creepy that actually sounded. His voice stuck out to me…  
  
“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed the contents from my hand and that’s when I felt his touch. He paused for a second and looked at our hands. Mine under his, things in between but we could still feel each other. His touch was cold and familiar. Like from my dream. The hand I was drawing earlier. Could it be I ran into him before and was now remembering his touch? “Do I know you from somewhere?”  
  
I looked at him and then bit my lip. “Not that I recall.”  
  
“Hmm.” He grabbed the things in my hand and walked away.  
  
What was that about? Why is my heart pounding? Did he just glance back at me again? I fiddled with my shirt with one hand and the other hand that he had rested his hand on was in front of me. I stared at it wondering what was going on.  
  
“Hey, Eren, you okay?” Jean asked having been listening in on the conversation between me and my customer. I wondered what was going through his head.  
“Umm… yeah. I’m fine.” I said as I turned back to my sketch book and started to draw in it again though my hand was shaky. Was I really okay? I just basically harassed a guy I didn’t know anything about. I’d probably never see him again. That’s right, he was my customer and I was his supplier. Nothing more.  
“You need work on hitting on people.” Jean laughed as he turned back to his notebook. “So, what happened back there? You guys both just stared at your hands for like a minute.”  
  
“His touch…” I muttered as the lines started connecting on my page and were forming an image, “it felt familiar.” Why was he asking about it? It’s not like I’ll have to see him again.  
  
“Do you know him?”  
  
“No. Never seen him before in my life.” I whispered as I looked down to see I was drawing a forest. The forest where I had dreamed giants were walking through and humans were flying through on some time of maneuver gear.  
  
“That’s weird. Especially for you considering you don’t like anyone.” Jean said as he erased some words and then wrote different ones down. I wish I knew what he was writing.  
  
“He just stuck out to me. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyways. I won’t see him again.” I shrugged as I continued to draw my forest. What I had forgot was the movie would end soon and Levi would have to walk past me to get out. About two hours later he came strutting back.  
  
“You lied. Everyone should enjoy that movie. Not just people who are into gore and murder. The plot and meaning behind it is amazing.” Levi said as he leaned against the counter he looked down my sketch book. “Those are some big ass trees.”  
  
I laughed and smiled down at my sketchbook. “Yeah, they are… but it makes sense. I had a dream about them. I don’t really remember what exactly was happening all I know is that I was on a horse and following a couple other people trying to understand what was happening when…” The person in the very front said the exact same line. I gulped. What was going on? Did I really dream about a person I didn’t know?  
  
 _“Heichou? Heichou Levi?”_  
  
 _“What?”_  
  
 _“Well…We’re in the middle of the woods! If the center enters alone, we won’t know if the Titans are approaching! It seems something’s approaching us from the right… How are we supposed to dodge the Titans or protect the carts?”_  
  
 _“Don’t go on and on about the obvious… We can’t do that anymore, of course.”_  
  
 _“Th-Then why?”_  
  
 _“Look around, Eren, at all these big ass trees, it’s the perfect environment for 3D Maneuver Gear. And try to use that tiny brain of yours. If you don’t want to die, think.”_  
  
“When someone said the exact same thing to me.” I chuckled though I was getting more and more curious about this guy. The speech patterns, the name, it all seemed the same. So what was happening?  
  
“Well, they are ridiculous. If you were trying to be proportional make them smaller.” Levi scoffed before moving away from the counter and shrugging his shoulders. “Anyways, five stars. Good bye, Eren.”  
  
I blushed deeply as I watched him leave. Something really odd did happen today. My wish came true. Who was this Levi and was I going to see him again? I looked down at my sketchbook and started to draw a man in between the two trees hooked up by wires. Just like in my dream.  
  
When Mikasa and Armin came and picked me up the day it was like normal. I didn’t bring up Levi and I didn’t really do anything different. We went home and I watched Armin do his homework on the couch before sitting down at the table.  
  
“Anything new happen today?” Mikasa asked as she sipped at her chicken noodle soup.  
  
“Not really… though I may have met someone knew…” I whispered trying not to show my blush. What was I doing? He was a complete stranger. Why the hell was I still thinking about him? So what if he may have been in my dreams? I can’t really see his face in my dreams so I can’t even be for certain and dreams just happen right? They don’t actually really happen right? Of course, Hanji was testing if our dreams were actually glimpses of our past lives. “Actually I think I met two new people…”  
  
“Oh? Who are they?” Mikasa asked putting up her suspicions knowing that I would want to get to know them as soon as possible. Knowing I craved to leave and would at any excuse.  
  
“Their names are Hanji and Levi. I really don’t know much about them, but Hanji hangs out at the movies a lot and I met Levi today.” I explained eating my soup quickly. I really didn’t like the family setting we tried to put up at the table. Mikasa just seemed too much like mother.  
  
“That’s great, Eren. I’m glad you’re not completely bored with this little town. I can’t believe none of us has heard about them before.” Armin was right. This town was very small and everyone knew everyone. Everyone knew what everyone did and it was pain in the ass because no one could keep a secret.  
  
“Maybe they’re just passing through. Who knows?” I shrugged and got up. “I’ll probably never see them again anyways.” I took my dishes to the sink and then walked back to my room ending the conversation. I strip down to my boxers and sighed. Back to normal. Though my head was swimming. Who exactly were these people? It was like they just popped up here without any warning. I rolled onto my side and look out the window. “What do you say stars? Can I have another wish?” I whispered as I slipped under the blankets. “I wish I could see them again.” Tomorrow was Saturday so I probably wouldn’t for a while. Saturday meant going out for ice cream and getting more groceries. The weekends were always a pain because Mikasa never left me alone. I know she means well she just comes on so strong now.  
  
And she would never replace my mom.


	3. Tea Boxes

Chapter 3  
  
“What is your job? To just let yourself be swayed by whatever you’re feeling at the moment? No, it’s not. Our squad’s job is to keep the brat from getting a single scratch on him. Even if it costs us our lives.” I turn back towards the front looking ahead at the never ending forest. “We keep going on our horses, got it?”  
  
“Roger!” A female voice called. I recognized it as Petra’s.  
  
“Keep going?! For how long?! And it’s right on top of us… Again!” There’s that voice again. If I turned around to see that face I know I would just see a blur. Who was he?! “The reinforcements! If we don’t help, they’ll be wiped out again!”  
  
“Eren, eyes on the road!”  
  
Eren. Where have I heard that name before?  
  
“Sir!”  
  
“Keep your pace up… stay at top speed!”  
  
“But, sir…Why?! If Squad Levi doesn’t defeat it, who will? Another one’s dead… and maybe we could have saved him!” Doesn’t he get that we can’t save everyone?! “One’s still fighting… we could still make it!”  
  
“Eren, eyes back on the road! Keep going!” Petra called.  
  
“Are you telling me to look away?! To abandon my comrades and run?!”  
  
“Yes, that’s right! Obey the captain’s orders!”  
  
“I don’t understand why we’re leaving them to die! Or why he won’t explain!” Maybe because you need to make your own goddamn decisions? Maybe because I don’t know what exactly we should do in situations like these? I may be the captain, but my decisions aren’t always the right ones, and that gets people killed. He needed to stop freaking out. He needed to look forward. “Why?!”  
  
“That’s because the captain decided the reason should not be explained.” They had so much hope in me. “You just don’t understand because you’re still green! If you get it, then shut up and obey!”  
  
“What are you doing, Eren?! You’re only allowed to do that if your life is in danger! You promised us! Eren!”  
  
“You aren’t wrong. If you want to, do it. I can tell. He’s a real monster. And it has nothing to do with his Titan power. No matter what power you use to suppress him, no matter what cage you put him in, he will never submit to anyone. Eren, the difference between your decisions and ours is experience, but you don’t have to rely on that. Choose. Believe in yourself, or believe in the Survey Corps and me. I don’t know… I never have. I can believe in my own abilities or the choices of companions I trust, but no one ever knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself whichever decision you’ll regret the least.”  
  
I jump up in my bed in a cold sweat and looked down crying. This is the life of Levi Ackerman.  
  
~~~  
  
So, this is the third chapter. I should have probably did the same thing Eren did in the first chapter, but I wanted to bring you something different. I wanted to bring you something you are all familiar with. My dreams. My dreams were the key to why I even started dating Eren. I am currently a test subject to Hanji. She’s studying past lives. No, you’ll find that out at a later time. Anyways, the dreams were the beginning. Since you’ve already met Eren I can talk about him here. Now he thinks the beginning was at the movie theater, but my beginning for us was at the store. Why? Because goddamnit this kid pissed me off because he showed up everywhere I went. It was all coincidental I later found out. Anyways, our romance didn’t start quickly. I am a slow and cautious person. I didn’t want to hurt the brat’s feelings. You’ll find that out later though. So, as I was saying, this is the third chapter and I am interrupting the story. Just know that the dreams are key and that’s what lead to a change in mine and Eren’s lives.  
  
~~~  
  
I jump up in my bed in a cold sweat and looked down crying. Why me? What were up with these goddamn dreams? Why was I crying now and why couldn’t I picture him in my dreams? I looked over at Hanji as she nodded.  
  
“You seemed to be having a nightmare…”  
  
“I don’t know.” I muttered as I wiped away my tears. Was it a nightmare? I never fully understood what was happening in my dreams. I had them every night and every morning Hanji would record them. I started telling her what had happened. After that, I slipped out of bed and walked to my shower. I scrubbed myself clean and then put on a button down shirt and white pants. I put on a white cravat before walking to the front door and slipping on my dress shoes. Hanji was currently living with me since she went bankrupt at the science lab. I put on a brown crop jacket before heading out to the store. I don’t work in the science lab that Hanji works at. I’m an experiment there. During the day I work as a teacher and at night and early mornings I’m an experiment. I don’t really like that, but whatever. It’s a favor for Hanji. I didn’t really believe the past lives crap. That is until I met him. His touch was familiar. His touch made me feel like I had felt it before. It wasn’t just a brush or a high five that I remember, that touch felt like it had been all over my body and that creeped me the fuck out. Was I raped in my sleep? No, impossible. Hanji’s security system would have picked it up. I walked out the door and then get in my car and drive down to the grocery store down the road. I get out and then grab a cart. I wipe it down with a sanitary wipe before washing my hands. I started to walk around and grabbing the things I needed.  
  
First thing on my list was tea. I desperately needed the calming substance. All the flavors. I loved having a verity and the power to control what I put in my mouth. I grabbed a box of each one and was turning and walking them back to my cart when I ran into someone my stacks of tea falling to the floor. “Sorry.”  
  
“Sorry.” A voice said at the same time. It sounded familiar.  
  
I looked up and saw Caribbean green eyes. Fuck those eyes. Those were the unmistakable eyes of the guy who lied about the Purge being a pretty good movie. The minute I had saw those eyes I wanted to wipe away their purity. Have they even seen world as it is? The disgusting way everyone is? Probably not. He doesn’t look a day over sixteen at the latest. “Eren?” I knew who he was I just wanted to be certain because, in all honesty, what are the chances?  
  
“Oh, hey, Levi!” He smiled brightly and at that moment I wanted to punch that shit eating smile off his face. How can one person be so happy to see a total stranger? It was ridiculous really.  
  
“Help me pick up my goddamn tea before the floor spoils it.” I hissed as I picked up all the boxes knowing that sounded ridiculous, but goddamn this kid pisses me off. Sure I bumped into him, but you still fucking help the person pick up their shit. That’s just common curtesy.  
  
He chuckled and leaned down and started to pick up the tea. Our hands landed on the last one mine on top of his. For fucks sake where have I felt that before? This was going to kill me. This little instant connection we had between us was from somewhere. Where though? Did it happen… dare I say it… in a past life? I really just needed to move on, but those eyes were staring at me- through me- and I still hadn’t taken my hand away yet. I met his eyes and stared up at him. Those goddamn childlike eyes. Why did I need to be swept up by this kid? Why do I get this scene that I should just lean over and meet his lips?  
  
Those eyes.  
  
Those lips.  
  
This touch.  
  
I remove my hand and get up. What the hell was I thinking? I place my tea boxes in my cart and he does the same.  
  
“This is a lot of fucking tea. What are you going to do? Throw them in a harbor?”  
  
“No. I’m going to drink them, dumbass. What are you doing here?”  
  
“Shopping.”  
  
Smartass. I’m going to punch him if he doesn’t fucking stop staring down at me with those eyes. They’ve imprinted themselves in my mind ever since I first saw them. Hell, since yesterday I’ve been thinking about him nonstop. Why? Damn this kid.  
  
“Where’s the ice cream isle?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know, where it says fucking ice cream.” I hissed pointing at the sign right next door.  
  
“…Right. I guess I just didn’t see it.” Don’t you dare. He dared. “I was too busy looking at your hot stuff.”  
  
Okay. I’ll give him some credit. That was smoother than ‘damn, you’re hot’, but still. Why the hell are you staring when we are complete strangers? Whatever. I’ll never see him again. This will be the last time, right? This was a small town… but he didn’t go to my school so he must be new here or something. Why the hell am I caring? “Go fuck yourself.” I grab my cart and start walking away when he has the fucking audacity to say, “Okay, I’ll think of you.”  
  
I’m going to murder this kid.  
  
Seriously harm him.  
  
~~~  
  
“So, you saw Eren at the store? I told you he was a cutie!” Hanji laughed when I returned home and we put away our groceries. I had told her the whole conversation, and honestly, I don’t know why I bothered. She was just going to bother me about my sex life like normal. She believed a thirty four year old man should be at least getting laid, if not, then be married and had kids. That wasn’t my style though. She was lucky she was even here. The messes she made some times.  
  
“He’s fucking jail bait, Hanji!” I scolded at her. Was she really trying to set me up with the brat? She had went to the movies with Erwin and met Eren. She then came home hollering about him and how he was perfect for me and goddamn her she was right because he was a cutie and she knew I was into the cuties and fuck her insight about me. Okay, maybe I was sulking. Maybe I was just mad because Eren could never be mine and that we were complete strangers. That is probably how things were. He was like sixteen though and I was over twice his age. So, I had to show some restraint. Though if I saw him one more time then it was fucking fate. I’ll allow myself to give him my phone number. Not that I cared about him. I was just interested in his touch. Right that was it. He was the one with that goddamn touch and he was the one that was kinda good looking in a boyish sort of way and he was the one that I could never have. Put all that together and you get someone that I want. I always want what I can’t have. That’s how it’s always been that’s how it will always be.  
  
“Age doesn’t matter! He’s cute and he’s single! I can tell you guys would hit it off!” She argued back as she washed her hands and started to help me with dinner.  
  
“Whatever. I’m not going after him.” Because why should I? We were strangers. We knew nothing about each other. The most I knew about him was that he liked to draw, he worked at the movies and he liked some flavor of ice cream. Nothing important and nothing I could base my opinions on. Oh, I forgot the last important thing I know about him. He’s a fucking brat. There. Now I reviewed everything I know about him and I can now base an opinion on him with that last important detail. He’s not the one for me. He’s a fucking kid that I can’t corrupt.  
  
Hanji pouted and we sat down at the dining table and ate dinner. We did this every day. We were in this fucking rut that I wanted to get out of. I moved a lot because I was tired of being around the same fucking things. The same idiotic people. In a few months, if that, I’ll grow tired of all this and move. Hanji would have to figure something out and we’ll never talk again. I don’t get attached and I don’t miss. I’ve never understood the people that settled down and had a family. How they could just do the same things everyday while there is always something out there that is way better than what a wife or husband could ever offer. Maybe I was just pessimistic about marriage and kids, but I’d rather travel and see the world. The ironic thing about all this was I worked as a teacher. A high school teacher. Now the brats I deal with on a daily basis are pretty mature they can also be very annoying. Especially one in particular. Mikasa Ackerman. She had the same last name as me, but it was completely coincidental. She was always glaring at me though and giving me problems by spreading rumors about me. Maybe it was because I was hard on my students or maybe she was bored, either way her attitude pissed me off. I really didn’t want to be thinking about this though on a nice Saturday night. Thank god I bought my tea.  
  
I made some tea and curled up on the couch with Hanji sipping at it in my odd little way. Hanji held me close as I draped a blanket across my lap. She turned on a cartoon that I really didn’t find any interest in, but watched anyways. We did this every Saturday. A little cuddle session to show that we could stand not killing each other. It was a nice gesture. It had happened when I came home in a mood that was just plain desperate. I wanted that physical contact and Hanji offered to comfort me. Since then it’s been happening every Saturday. If I had to choose though this was my favorite time of the week. I set my empty glass down and snuggle into her chest and smiled. “I’m not going to go after a little brat like him when I’m going to be leaving soon.”  
  
“Why do you have to leave?”  
  
Because I have to live?  
  
Because if I don’t I’ll be trapped in a box that people call home?  
  
Because maybe I want something greater than this little town?  
  
Because this didn’t feel like home to me?  
  
There was a number of reason I could have given her. More were personal than others, but I simply just said, “Because I have to save my sanity.”  
  
“But… do you ever wonder how the people feel when you leave them behind?” She asked as he ran a hand through my hair as she held me close. Don’t take this gesture the wrong way. Don’t think she is hurt in any way. She’s not. I told her from the very beginning not to get attached cause I wasn’t staying forever and that our feelings will be nothing more than just friends- at the most. She knew her place. The hand going through my hair is just because I liked it when she did it and specifically asked her to do it more. That is what this was. My gaining every little thing out of her while I offered her assistance in her research.  
  
“No.” With that, I get up and prepare for bed. I take a shower and brush my teeth. I pull back the blankets and lay down on my bed. Everything smelt clean. Everything was in order. Nothing to keep me up at night. I close my eyes and sigh, waiting for sleep. When I find sleep I dream and I see those eyes. Those fucking eyes. Those gorgeous eyes and that touch. That nice touch.  
  
Needless to say, I dream about that little shit.


	4. Erwin's Test

Chapter 4  
  
I know what you’re thinking. Why the hell are you stalking a little shit like him instead of going into work like a good teacher? Easy question. I wasn’t stalking him. I just happened to want to go see a movie during his shift and I called in sick because I couldn’t handle the kids today. It was nothing to do with the fact that all night I dreamt about us being in a castle and fucking like rabbits. What the hell was up with that dream anyways? Goddamn that little shit. He was always on my mind now and _I don’t fucking know why._   
How could such an annoying brat make me do this? I rolled my eyes and got out of my car. I walked up to the movie theater and walked in. The manager was writing in a notebook and the brat was drawing in his sketchbook. They looked pissed at each other and I found myself wondering how they worked together. It didn’t matter though until their fighting started.  
  
“Eren, your drawing looks like shit.” The manager hissed.  
  
“Your face is shaped like a horse.” Eren growled glaring at him and it was then that I realized that the manger did have a really long face. Point goes to Eren simply because Eren’s drawings were amazing. I could see the vibrant eyes from here. The blue-gray vibrant eyes. The glaring blue-gray vibrant eyes. MY glaring blue-gray vibrant eyes. Fuck. I wasn’t going to count this meeting as destiny but… the brat was actually into me enough to draw my eyes. I leaned against the wall until their pissing contest ended.  
  
“Will you quit with the horse jokes?! I really don’t need that treatment!”  
  
“If the boot fits.” Another point for showing restraint, Eren.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re still going on about me looking like a horse! You’ve been calling me a horse since the last time you went to school! When the fuck are you going to go back anyways?!” The manager asked as he turned to Eren and glared. “Are you not smart enough or something!?”  
  
Eren turned and glared daggers. “You know exactly why I can’t go back! So sorry I dropped out in the fourth grade!”  
  
Damn. Was he really that stupid? Could he really not get past grade school? That’s before shit gets hard. How has he been able to support himself all these years? I suddenly felt bad for eavesdropping on this conversation. If Eren liked me like that then he probably didn’t want me to know something that was so humiliating. I went to college to become a teacher and did it in half the time I was supposed to. I didn’t want to waste my time there longer than necessary. To think… Eren never stepped foot in a high school. Not even a junior high.  
  
“You should go back so you’re not stuck here for a job forever!”  
  
“Why?! Why go back and be made fun of?! You know what? Let’s just drop it.” Eren turned and started coloring in my eyes more and it was then I decided I should make my presence known.  
  
I walked up to Eren and looked down at what he was drawing. “Not bad. I like those eyes.”  
  
He jumped and looked up at me. He instantly blushed and I had to hide the small smiled that formed on my lips and my eyes from shining in amusement. “Y-You think?”  
  
He was probably wondering if I had made the conclusion that these were my eyes. I didn’t give it away that I knew. I wanted to fuck with him for a little bit. I had come early enough so I had some time before my movie. “Yeah they show a lot of expression. Why did you choose these colors?” I leaned on the counter and stuck out my ass a little so he had a nice view since he was now towering over me. I did it casually so it looked like I was just getting a closer look at the drawing. I watched his eyes and smirked a little when he was totally checking me out. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.  
  
“I… well… you know you see a lot of eyes around town.” He said as he looked back down at his drawing. I felt a little insulted he was so easily able to just let his eyes go back to his drawing. I was basically flanting what I had- and trust me I know how to get people’s attentions because goddamn it I went to a club my friend owned and it was the toughest shit out there- and here he was just adverting his gaze so easily. Then I realized he kept glancing up and forcing his eyes back down. So maybe it wasn’t that hard.  
“Are you a professional?” I asked a little curious. His art looked like a pro did it.  
  
He laughed and shook his head. “No. I just doodle every once and awhile. Though I want to be. I just don’t have any money to go to school for it or get the materials. What do you do?”  
  
“Depends. Are we talking about night, day or evenings?”  
  
“There’s a difference in all of those?”  
  
“Yes. I try to keep myself busy. I don’t like sitting down and doing nothing. I’ll be leaving here soon anyways.”  
  
“Oh…” He looked devastated before he quickly put up a happy face. “All of them.”  
  
Brat. “Day time I’m a teacher at Armor Titan High School. I haven’t seen you around where do you go?” I asked wanting to play dumb.  
  
“Nowhere. I stopped going to school after I dropped out at Dancing Titan Middle School.”  
  
“Why did you?”  
  
“Because my mom died when I went there.” Eren said simply though I could see the pain go through his eyes and I wanted to make it better. I wanted to be the one to chase after him. I wanted to be the one to get attached for once. Just two days ago I was cuddling with Hanji and told her I would never go for a brat like him. That pain in his eyes though. I wanted to replace it and make everything better. “A-Anyways, what do you do at night and evenings?”  
  
“At night I’m an experiment for Hanji. She’s studying past lives and I’ve been having strange dreams lately so she thinks it’s from a past life.” I explained and then smirked. “In the evenings I’m a stripper.”  
  
His eyes shot open and looked up at me. “What?! I-I wasn’t expecting that considering you are a teacher!” He stared at me in an awe and I had to wonder what was going through that head of his. I had to hide my amusement and smirk again because no one had ever made me smile since Erwin entered my life. Erwin was the owner of the club and that was when I decided I never wanted Eren to see me like that in _his_ club. I was friends with Erwin, but I knew a misunderstanding would automatically happen if Eren were ever to figure out a way in there.  
  
“Teachers need lives too.” I cursed myself when he got the smirk to show on my lips. He was an amusing person. He probably wasn’t my type. He’d probably piss me off a lot, but I had to say he wasn’t bad looking and he definitely had some potential to keeping my interest longer than a few hours. Hell, Eren could probably keep my attention for a whole year and more.  
  
“I-I guess that’s true…”  
  
“Can we hang out some time?”  
  
Wait, who said that?  
  
Shit, did I say that?  
  
I hadn’t meant to say that. I was just thinking it and it somehow got past the filter in my mind and flew out of my mouth faster than diarrhea. Shit. Shit. Shit. This was not happening.  
  
“I… ummm… sure.”  
  
Wait. He said sure. That means yes. Okay, so I hadn’t royally screwed up that much. I grabbed the pen from his hand and flipped in his sketchbook to an empty page and wrote down my address. “Come this Friday. I have a few hours open. Between three and ten. Come sometime between all that. If you come after ten I won’t be there and where I go you’ll never be able to get in. So, don’t be late.”  
  
“I won’t.” Eren smiled brightly. “Did you come to talk to me or see a movie? Cause if not I have other customers that I need to be getting to. You’re not the only one that I have to focus on.”  
  
That little brat. After I give him my address he has the gull to say I’m just like everyone else. “I actually did come to see a movie. I didn’t mean to start a conversation with you, shitty brat. You just kept flapping your lips. Now, one for The Fault in Our Stars. Is it a good movie?”  
  
“It wasn’t my type of movie. I guess it was alright.” Eren shrugged and handed me a ticket. “Seven fifty.”  
  
I dug in my wallet and gave him a ten before taking the ticket and change. “You short changed me.” I growled when I only gotten a dollar and fifty cents back.  
  
“That’s for ruining a page in my sketchbook.”  
  
Why did I give him my address?  
  
I wanted to hurt him.  
  
Severely.  
  
~~~  
  
I walked out of the movie and scoffed at Eren. “Not a good movie my ass. I’d hate to see what you thought a good movie was.” There were dried tears on my cheeks and cursed myself for getting reattached to that _one_ character again just to see that person die. I had read the book not too long ago and bawled my eyes out for a whole night as I reanalyzed everything that had happened and put it to memory. I really got too invested in these characters.  
  
“The Avengers was a good movie.”  
  
I wanted to severely hurt him. “Are you kidding me? The Avengers was good _maybe_ the first time you watched it. Other than that it’s all shit because there is no emotional attachment. There was no unpredictability. You, shithead, have no good tastes in movies. Favorite books?”  
  
“I don’t read.”  
  
I pushed his sketchbook on the floor in frustration. “Unbelievable!” I walked away from him not believing what I just heard. Everyone had a favorite book. Some had more than others. Like me I had a ton of favorite books that just didn’t quite get as high as THE favorite book. That spot was special. The Fault in Our Stars was almost THE book.  
  
“Can I still come Friday?”  
  
Strangle him. “Yes.” With that I walked out of the movie theater not even bothering to say good bye or help to pick up his sketchbook. I couldn’t believe his tastes. I stopped when I realized I didn’t get to feel that had again. When I realized I was _missing_ that touch. I couldn’t believe myself. I had given a total stranger my address. Given him a time. And I actually wanted him to show up. I actually wanted him to see my house and hoped he would stay all seven hours that he could be there before I left to get rid of my stress. I needed to tonight. That dream last night was too much. If Hanji’s hypothesis was correct then we had fucked some night. A chill ran down my spine was his moans came back to my mind all too loudly. I wanted him. My heart beat was always quicker when I was around him. I grabbed my heart and looked at the ground. If I went back in there now just to fuck with him I was doomed. I would forever be invested in this kid. I didn’t want that to happen.  
  
I didn’t want to get attached.  
  
Attachment was always a bad thing because someone always got hurt in the end.  
  
I was moving soon anyways.  
  
I walked back home.  
  
~~~  
  
That night I walked to the club in leather and chains. I had eye liner around my eyes thickly. Black gloves were over my hands and I looked like I just came out of a bad action film that involved motorcycles. The Chain was my escape. The stress of everything always got to me and I always ended up here. The dress code here was black, white and red. The top floor was like any normal club, but I knew down in the dungeon there was the craziest shit out there. I needed to get drunk first before I went down there. I needed to get that brat out of my head. This was probably a bad move since I would definitely have a hang over the next day for work and would have to get my shit together for my boss, but at the moment I didn’t _care_. I started taking shot after shot before I walked down to the dungeon. I saw Erwin in a throne and ignored the withering bodies around me. I walked over to him and sat down in his lap. “So, I need advice.”  
  
“Oh?” Erwin asked and started petting my hair because god fucking damnit he knew that pissed me off. I wasn’t some pet. I wasn’t his pet at least.  
  
“Yeah, how do you go after someone you’re not supposed to have?”  
  
His amusement went away as he raised an eyebrow. “Well, you don’t bring him here that’s for sure. Who’s the lucky guy, Levi?”  
  
“His name is Eren. He works at the movie theater. I bet you remember his cute face and bright green eyes. Yeah, I’m kind of smitten with him. I don’t really know how to go about it though. I gave him my address, but I don’t want to throw myself at him. I feel like this would scare the fuck out of him and if he ever found out about it I would lose him.” As of right now I was safe and there was nothing to lose, but somehow that wasn’t satisfying for me.  
  
“Just don’t push for too much. Become friends with him at first, and if he seems to be flirting back with you then ask him to start dating you. If that goes well and if you start being sexually active with him then slowly introduce him to it. Set the rules and so on. Word of caution though, Levi,” Erwin warned staring down at Levi in all seriousness. “If you get that far with him there is no backing out of this by moving. I know you move around a lot, but don’t break his heart in the process. He’s not that old and it could cause problems if he wanted to get revenge on you.”  
  
“I know…” I whispered and looked down at my lap. “I just can’t help, but think about him. He’s something I’ve ever encountered before.”  
  
“You’ve never gotten attached to anyone and now all of a sudden you are. He must be really special if he got through your walls so quickly.” Erwin whispered as he continued to pet my hair.  
  
“He is and will you quit your goddamn petting?!” I hissed and slapped his hand away. I cursed myself after I did it. He was the owner here. He would never force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, but to keep up appearances I let him punish me so people didn’t think that I was just as powerful as he was. He pushed me off him and chained my wrists to the throne. I was sitting on the filthy floor now and I had to wonder why I came at least once a week.  
  
“Levi, I’m not saying not to go after him all I’m saying is for you to remember he is just a kid. Don’t take away his purity too soon.” Erwin said as he sat back down on his throne.  
“I wasn’t planning on it.”  
  
That was the biggest lie I’ve ever told. Of course I was planning on it. That innocent look was going to be the death of me if I didn’t get rid of it. If only I knew how corrupted Eren was…


	5. Levi's Breakdown

Chapter 5  
  
~Eren~  
  
Armin once told me that when two people are destined to be together they are connected in many ways. Through dreams. Through thoughts. Through heart beats. Through happiness. Ours was through pain. We both had pain. And it all started when Levi got a piano. It was then that I realized… we shared pain. We were connected in ways no one else was. When he was sad and crying so was I. That Tuesday was the first time it had ever happened. I didn’t know at the time, but now that I do it sends misery all throughout my body. I wish he didn’t cry so often…  
  
~~~  
  
Tuesday went by quickly. I had few customers and my sketchbook was soon filled with an angular face that held a guarded expression and furrowed brows. A black undercut and a small thin smirk. I smiled as I stared at the page. I sighed as I held it close to my chest. I was acting like such a school girl with a crush. I didn’t get why though. I shouldn’t be trying to be with a man I didn’t know. We were strangers. Saying that though, made me feel like I was lying. That was probably because of the dreams. Those wonderful dreams that I had of the man. It felt real, it felt foreign, but familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was like déjà vu. All of Levi’s touches in my dreams, all of what happened, it felt like I felt it before. Been there before. I sighed and then there was a knock at the door. I said I was going to bed early that night because, well, I couldn’t get the happiness off my face to be with Mikasa and Armin. As much as I wanted to tell them, I simply couldn’t. Levi was like this gem that I wanted to keep hidden. Even from my closest friends. It was bad enough that Jean knew. “Yeah?”  
  
“Eren?” It was Armin. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah. You can come in.” I said even though that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to worry my friends though so I could let them at least see him happy. “Need help with your math homework?”  
  
Armin laughed as he walked in. “No.” He sat down next to me and eyed my sketchbook. “Why are you pressing it to your chest like that?”  
  
“No reason!” I cursed myself. I had said that too loudly and too defensively to not sound like I was hiding something.  
  
Armin snatched the sketchbook from me. “Who’s this? I feel like I’ve seen him before… Though maybe I’m wrong… who knows anymore…” He asked turning the sketchbook so I could see Levi sipping tea looking out the window. Is it sad I already know what he looks like by heart? I can close my eyes and see him perfectly painted on my eye lids. That was freaking… no I can’t be thinking about this. He’s god knows how old and… we’re strangers. So, why am I going to his house Friday? He’s probably some pervert that will rape me and never speak to me again. I gripped my shirt and looked down at the floor. That hurt to say…  
  
“Yeah considering you don’t get enough sleep since you’re up all night reading and drinking all the coffee in the world.” I had to tease him. He was too cute not to tease. “His name is Levi.”  
  
“Like Levi Ackerman?”  
  
“…I don’t know. I didn’t get his last name. He invited me to his house though. It was weird.”  
  
“Is he a teacher?”  
  
“Yes…?” What was Armin getting at and how did he know?  
  
“Dude, you’re drawing my teacher.”  
  
And then I understood. I understood completely. That was completely wrong. My going to his house could cause him to get fired. Maybe I shouldn’t… too bad I was too fucking curious not to though at this point. I had spent all last night and today thinking about what his house would look like. My mind lingered on his room and I wanted to shoot it. Shit. I had a crush on a teacher. And it was Armin’s teacher. “What does he teach?”  
  
“English. He’s strict too. He gave Mikasa a D once on a paper all because she had handwritten it. He’s super strict. There’s a lot of rumors going around that he has a dark past. He said he’s not staying for long and that we’ll all have, his words not mine, another shitty teacher that is constipated and angry at the world.”  
  
I laughed and looked away. “That sounds like him. So, should I go to his house Friday?”  
  
“I don’t think Mikasa will approve. She doesn’t like him…” Armin admitted rubbing the back of his neck. I could tell he was hesitant as well.  
  
“We don’t like each other or anything. I don’t even know why he asked me. The only reason I’m curious in going is… well… if I tell you will you promise not to call me crazy?” I asked hesitantly. I knew Armin never would, but I still had to ask. Because it was crazy.  
  
“Sure, Eren. You know I’ll support you through anything.” Armin smiled as he looked at the different drawings of his teacher. I could tell he was a little creeped out about my obsession.  
  
“His touch is familiar. Not like… he brushed past me once or anything like that, but like all over my body. Like… he touched me and I wanted him. Every time our hands touch it’s like I can feel where his ran all over me and I can sense that mine has been all over him.” Here was when things got weird. I knew that all sounded weird. That I may have been sexually active with a man I’ve never even seen before until five days ago. The dreams were there though. Last nights was intense. I don’t know how I feel about it. He was romantic, charming and one hell of a sex god.  
  
We had climbed up the walls in my pictures with this special equipment and when we got up there he had laid out this blanket and basket for us. We drank wine and ate bread and soup as we watched the stars. When our bellies were filled he had removed the glasses and basket to the side, stacked the plates gently and then put them to the side. He slid himself over to me and held my face gently. He looked into my eyes and smirked that annoying ass smirk. He whispered words I don’t remember before kissing me. Then, it went downhill from there, or uphill depending on what you were in the mood for. Our clothes were off and we were biting and scratching each other to the point where I didn’t know if we were fighting or saying what was ours. Then I woke up and was late to work because I had a serious problem down below.  
  
“… That’s really weird, Eren. Maybe it’s an instant connection. Have you ever heard of the red string of fate?” Armin asked getting me out of my daze with his voice.  
  
“No…? What is it?”  
  
“It’s a legend that originated from China but Japan uses it too. In the Japanese culture it’s this red string that is tied between two individuals on their little fingers where as in the Chinese culture it’s tied around ankles. The two people that are tied together are destined lovers, regardless of time, place and circumstances. The thread can tangle and stretch, but it can never break. Maybe the legend is true and you two are tied together.” Armin explained smiling over at me. He knew so much and for once I was glad he did. That made me feel a little better about the situation. Though, I didn’t like how it sounded like the two people connected were forced to be together by a string. I didn’t believe in destiny. I choose my own path.  
  
“It’s a nice thought.” It was for the people who were lonely. The people who believed there was someone out there for everyone. For the people who were optimistic like Armin. He probably believed that bullshit. Though… it did make Eren feel better. “I don’t know… though it seems too farfetched.”  
“I know what you mean but… it’s better than nothing. Eren, when you go Friday… be careful okay?” Armin was looking at me with so much concern. This is why I didn’t want to tell them. They were always so concern but I don’t really mind that. I know they were just worried about me.  
  
“I will be. I promise.” I smiled and watched Armin get up. “Promise me you won’t tell Mikasa.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Please, Armin, she can know. She just can’t.” I pleaded because I knew she wouldn’t allow me to go. She ragged about her teacher every day. I was in too deep with him to not see him for her so she couldn’t know yet. I would tell her eventually just not now. Not when I had no idea where our relationship was going to go. Not that we had one. We were complete strangers. That’s what I had to keep reminding myself. We were strangers. I would never love him because there was nothing to love. We didn’t know each other and that probably wouldn’t change. Levi probably asked me on a whim. We would illegal and he would never go for someone like me. So, it was time to stomp this crush away and move on.  
  
“Fine… but you owe me big time, Eren.”  
  
“I know I do. Can you drive me there…?” I asked hesitantly. I was scared he would reject me further, but when he nodded I sighed and he walked out of my messy room. I grabbed my sketch book and tore at the pages I had drawn Levi on keeping only two. His eyes and his address. Three to ten. No earlier. No later. I’d go around four so I didn’t look like I was eager. That would leave with six hours of nothing but awkward silence. Why didn’t that stop me from going? I was confused with myself. I sighed and started lighting each page on fire. Because I couldn’t be with him. Because I had to remind myself that we’re strangers and I shouldn’t be eye fucking him. I shouldn’t be dreaming about fucking him with so much passion and love. I didn’t even realize when the tears were falling or why. I just felt this wave of emotional distress. It was suffocating me. Drowning me. I couldn’t help it. I don’t even know why I felt this way. I wanted it to go away though. He was a stranger. I scraped the ashes in a trashcan and then laid in my bed, crying over nothing.  
  
He was ash.  
  
That’s all he was.  
  
Nothing.  
  
And that’s all he ever would be.  
  
So, why did that hurt me so much to think that?  
  
The more I thought the more I was getting confused and conflicted. I cried myself to sleep that night. There was no dreams of him kissing me. There was no dream of us making love in the moon light. There was no love. There was just death. I drowned in blood. Armin’s blood. Jean’s blood. Mikasa’s blood. Connie’s. Sasha’s. Ymir’s. Krista’s. Hanji’s. I never found him. I tossed and turned all night without any rest to return. Only the tears stayed.

  


~Hanji~  
  
So, we finally got to my little part! Yahoo! Okay, so, I’m excited to write about my little cuties, but, sadly, I must start this at Levi’s lowest because that’s when Eren finally connected with Levi in an emotional state. Past lives are very interesting. During my research I realized that Eren and Levi shared the same dreams each night. Though for whatever reason Levi’s were always vaguer than Eren’s. That’s not what this little part of the chapter is about though. It’s about what happened after. What I am about to write is the one scene I’m probably the only one brave enough to write. Levi is refusing to write this so he’s making me in charge of it because I was there. I was always there for him in our little apartment. This is Levi’s lowest.  
  
~~~  
  
The piano started with two keys being hit at a time. I sat in the corner watching quietly as Levi’s head bent down slowly to watch his work. His tears fell slowly as his two fingers hit the keys repeatedly. As much as I knew this was when Levi was in the most pain I couldn’t help, but love the way he played. He had so much emotion. His singing was wonderful. It was scratchy due to his crying, but still wonderful. On some Saturday nights he would run his hands through my hair and sing to me different lullabies when he thought I was asleep. He was a sweetie. Then there was a change of one key which was hit repeatedly then it went back to the other. It did this again before he added more notes.  
  
“She lost her brother a month ago. His picture on the wall, and it reminds me. When she brings me coffee, her smile, I wish I could be with her, until my last day.” There was an explosion of different keys now and I knew he was feeling more emotions because he hit them hard. I could tell who he was thinking of. Petra was his girlfriend until she died of heart failure. I don’t think he ever fully moved on. I think that’s why he can never find the right home. I was pinning my hopes in Eren to keep him here. Not because I needed a place to crash, but because I actually got attached to Levi despite all the times he’s yelled at me not to. “She said she gave all her love to me.” He went back to hitting only certain keys. His small delicate fingers working the keys so beautifully. He was so broken on the inside though. “We dreamt a new life, some place to be at peace, but things changed, suddenly, I lost my dreams,” That last word crushed me. It was supposed to be high and the way he sang it was so broken. He was broken and it ripped my heart out each time he played this song for her. This was Petra’s song. “In this disaster.”  
  
He was the disaster. How Petra died was because they went camping. Levi was so young and happy then. I had seen pictures so I knew. He had only told me the story once and that was the only time I would need and want to hear it.  
  
The song picked up and I knew right then that this would be the worst time. The dream he had woken up to was everyone’s deaths. From what I’ve got so far in his past life these monsters, called Titans, were man-eating things that roamed the earth eating humans. Apparently, no one but him made it. He had killed the last titan. I hated this part of the song it’s when he yelled, cried in agony.  
  
“I’m crying! Missing my lover. I don’t have the power on my side forever. Oh, where is my lover? And I got no power. I’m standing alone, no way! Calling out your name!” The music went calm again and I could relax once more.  
  
They met in college. They both wanted to become teachers. They clicked instantly. They grew so attached. He gave her his heart, soul, and him. Everything you could imagine he did for her. She was a nice woman from what I’ve heard. Then they were on their honeymoon. Petra wanted to go camping, despite Levi complaints of it being dirty outside. They were to spend four days out in the middle of nowhere and it was best and last thing they did. Levi had fallen in mud and was washing up in the river near their campsite when-  
  
The music continued to be calming. “I said gave all my love to you. We dreamt a new house. Some place to be at peace. But things changed, suddenly. I lost my dreams in this disaster.” The music turned again to being more than just a few notes and I wanted to pull him away from it now, but I knew I couldn’t. “We don’t know what is wrong tonight. Everybody’s got no place to hide. There’s no one left and there’s no one to go on. All I know is my life is gone.”  
  
Levi had fallen in mud and was washing up in the river near their campsite when he got pulled under the current. Petra jumped in, despite having heart problems and overworked herself by dragging Levi out onto the forest floor. She saved his life at the cost of her own.  
  
“I’m crying. Missing my lover. I don’t have the power on my side forever.” He slammed on the keys, but he was growing tired from exhaustion. Emotional distress does that. “Oh, where is my lover? And I got no power. I’m standing alone, no way! Calling out your name!” After a few more seconds the song slowed and then finally he stopped playing. He got up and walked back to his room.  
  
This was Levi’s lowest. But also his beginning. Eren was coming Friday.


	6. Two Days Until the Arrival

Chapter 6  
  
~Eren~  
  
There are just some things I really hate after crying all night. One of those things is Mikasa. Wednesday was here before I could even get a wink of sleep. I didn’t even know what I was crying about all night. I just… was crying over fucking nothing. Then Mikasa dragged me out of bed. Literally. I wanted to hit her. “Fuck you, Mikasa! Will you just wake me up like a normal goddamn person before you drag me out of bed and rip the blankets away from me?! God!” Tears were still in my eyes. I still felt so much pain in my chest. Why was it there? Where did it come from? I really want to just go to sleep. I wanted to call off. I knew I couldn’t though. I had used all my sick days to go on vacation with Mikasa and Armin. I rubbed my eyes not even caring that I had hurt her feelings. After the night I had it was pretty predictable.  
  
She huffed and walked out after screaming, “Just be ready in five minutes!”  
  
Whatever. I got up and walked to the shower. I took a long shower because I didn’t want her to take me to the movies. I was not feeling it today. I stepped out after the door slammed shut and I got on my clothes that I usually wore for work. I hate Wednesdays. I hate them more than Mondays. Mondays I was usually refreshed, Wednesdays I want to kill every person that looks my way. Especially this Wednesday. I walked out into the kitchen and made some chocolate chip waffles in the toaster oven. Go Eggos for making me processed waffles. I put on the coffee not caring if Armin yelled at me later for drinking his and walked to the couch. I plop down and take out the remote. I turn on the television and watched some cartoons.  
  
Somewhere between making waffles and watching Tom and Jerry I had fallen asleep because I woke up to my phone’s ringtone that I had set for Jean. It was a neighing horse sound. “What?”  
  
“You’re late. Where the fuck are you?”  
  
“Sorry, I fell asleep. I had a bad night… I’m sorry. I’ll be right in.” Since when did I apologize to him? I decided I didn’t care and would worry about it later as I got up and walked over to the door. I slipped on my shoes and hung up my phone. I turned off all the lights and locked the door. I turned and walked down the stairs. I walked out of our apartment building and then started a jog to my work. A car stopped ahead of me and I slowed when I saw who is in the front seat. It was the last person I wanted to see. Levi.  
  
“Oi! Brat! What the fuck are you doing?”  
  
“Huh? Umm… Going to work?”  
  
“Get in the car.”  
  
“Why?” I asked that too quickly. He’s going to think I don’t trust him now. This is when I’m going to get yelled at. I can tell by his face he’s growing impatient.  
  
“So I can take you or would you rather get your ass raped out here?”  
  
I open my mouth to snap back a retort, but saw he was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He really was growing impatient. I get in the car. “Umm… thanks…”  
“You look like shit. Rough night?” Thanks a lot. I thought you were trying to charm me or some other form of harassment?  
  
“You don’t look too good yourself.” I snapped irritated. I slouch and put my feet on the dashboard looking out the window.  
  
SLAP!  
  
I jumped and my feet go to the floor. I look over at him in shock. “Did you just hit my knee?!”  
  
“Don’t get my dash dirty, brat. Who the fuck do you think you are anyways? I’m taking you to work and this is how you repay me? You need some goddamn manners.” Levi scowled over at me and I felt bad for what I said but then I didn’t care because I remembered he insulted me.  
  
“I have manners. I just don’t use them on pervert old men.” I scowled back though it wasn’t as intimidating as his. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut but there was no going back now.  
  
“Get out.”  
  
What?  
  
No.  
  
That was the last thing I wanted.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I whispered and rubbed my eyes. Time to open up my heart to him because there was no one else that would understand me better than him. If he had the same dreams as me. If he had cried last night too then I knew I wasn’t alone. “I just… was crying all night… so I didn’t get much sleep and that’s why I’m pissed off this morning… I’m sorry.”  
  
Levi looked away from me and turned back on the road. He was silent before saying, “I was crying too.” I looked up at his expression to make sure he was telling the truth. He was.  
  
“I had this dream… I don’t know if it’s the reason I was crying or not, but… it was about these monsters chasing after my friends and I… even you. We had gotten separated from you when you distracted most of them to go your way. My friends were slaughtered. I was covered in their blood and I just wanted to find you… I was stumbling and the thing we used to get on the monsters back was out of fuel and… I couldn’t find you. Then part way through my dream I heard this melody. It was sad. I…It started out like: She lost… her… lover or brother I don’t really remember but it was one of those and-“  
  
“Brother. She lost her brother a month ago, his picture on the wall reminds me, when she brings me coffee, her smile, I wish I could be with her, until my last day.” Levi mumbled and his eyes watered. He parked the car on the side of the road and turned to me angrily. “Never talk about that song in front of me again. Now get out. Don’t relive memories like that. What happened in our pasts will stay there. Get. Out.”  
  
I got out.  
  
Because he said that that was our pasts.  
  
We had died because of the monsters called Titans.  
  
I watched him drive away and my hand grabbed my shirt painfully. “She said she gave all her love to me, we dreamt a new life, some place to be at peace, but things changed, suddenly, I lost my dreams, in this disaster.” I muttered as I started my walk to work. I knew there would be no point in showing up now. It was one and I got off at three. Jean would just yell at me and tell me to go home when he noticed my bad attitude. Why was I singing these lyrics as I walked along the path? I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. My eyes were even puffier now and then I realized something.  
He knew what I was talking about.

  


~Levi~  
  
The kid knew my dream and my song. What the fuck was going on with my life right now? Why the hell did I even decide to pick him up? I knew all he was going to do was cause trouble. I was going to go to The Chain tonight. I was going to get drunk and let Erwin have his way with me. That’s what I fucking decided. I couldn’t handle this shit. Eren was just a little brat that just happened to go through the same thing I had in a past life. If Hanji was even fucking correct with that. She might not.  
  
I wasn’t fooling anyone though.  
  
Not even myself.  
If Eren and I had the same dreams then that meant it was real. It had happened. Which also meant that we had a thing going on. Whether it was romantic or not we had a thing. A couple nights ago I had dreamt of taking someone up to this wall with a picnic basket and blanket. We had a nice meal and then we fucked like savages. That must have been him. Which also meant that we were now going through the same thing all over again. History was repeating itself. I was falling for the brat yet again. That explained the familiar touch.   
Fucking perfect.  
  
I walked back into school with my lunch at hand. I walked to my room for some peace and quiet. Armin Arlert was sitting reading and nibbling on some bread. I didn’t mind his presence simply because he wasn’t loud or messy. He just sat there and read. I sat down at my desk and pulled out a burger before biting into it. I closed my eyes as I tried to figure everything out. There wasn’t much to figure out though. I was falling for Eren Yeager. Someone I barely know and can’t form an opinion on. I did know him though. I know he’s brave and trustworthy. I know he’ll do anything for the people he cares about and has a goddamn will that would crush anyone. He liked the way he could hold me and yet I scared him so much. I knew him through our dreams and the scary part was: he knew me too.  
  
“Ummm… Mr. Ackerman?”  
  
Oh, so the mute kid speaks. “What?” I asked opening my eyes to stare at him before taking more angry bites from my sandwich.  
  
“I know about Eren.”  
  
I stiffened and eyed him suspiciously. “Oh?” Where the fuck was this kid coming from? What did he mean he knows about Eren? What was there to know? He made it sound like it was an accusation or some shit. Like hell I was going to be blackmailed by some snot nose brat, if that was what he was going for.  
  
“He told me about… you inviting him over Friday. I don’t really agree with it, but he’s really excited about seeing you… so… I agreed to take him. Though, I want to tell you Eren is illiterate. He doesn’t like it when people treat him differently or… you know… make a big deal out of it. So, could you please try not to upset him about it? It’s a sensitive topic.”  
  
“I already knew about it. He and his manger got in a fight about it while I was lurking in the shadows. I didn’t really want to go break it up so I just watched and he said he hadn’t been to school since fourth grade. So, why can’t the little shit read?” He was the last thing I wanted to be talking about. He had the same dreams and that worried me more than anything. “What has he said to you?”  
  
“Nothing much. Just…” Armin hesitated as if he was debating to tell me something or not. I really wish I could predict this kid, but he was just as secretive as Erwin. How did he know Eren anyways? Maybe their friends or something. That’s probably the case.  
  
“If you want to tell me something spit it out if not then don’t at all.” I snapped as I finished my burger and started on my fries. Thanks to Eren’s outburst I arrived back at school with half my lunch period gone. “Though you know Eren so I can ask you a few questions. Has he been having strange dreams lately? Like about a group called the Survey Corps?”  
  
“He’s mentioned that group once or twice when we were little. We are childhood friends. I didn’t get it until I started having the dreams too. I started looking into it and I guess a few centuries ago there was these monsters that roamed the world and we were put behind walls. The Survey Corps turned out to be the heroes in the end because they fought to protect and dominate. Are you having these dreams too?” Armin asked looking up at me with hopeful eyes.  
  
“Yeah. I’ve had a few.” I said. They started when I got to this town. When I met Hanji. “What do you think causes people to have these… flashbacks?”  
  
“My theory is once you get into contact with someone that was close to you back then you start having the dreams. We didn’t start having them until Mikasa showed up and we started sleeping in the same room together. I guess it took all three of us to know what was going on. I think it’s because we were always together back then too so it took all three of us to trigger it.”  
  
“That seems like a good deduction. I didn’t start having them until my roommate moved in. They’ve gotten even more vivid since I’ve met Eren. Has he…” I paused and looked to the side a fry hanging out of my mouth. “Ever said anything about my touch?”  
  
“Yeah. He says it’s… very familiar.” Armin blushed looking away from me. So Eren feels the same way. My hands have been all over him too. Which means… he knows everything.   
He may not consciously know it, but he does. Fucking great. It was then that the lunch bell rang.  
  
~~~  
  
A long day of work and an even longer night. I put on some eye liner and slipped in a leather vest and left it unbuttoned with nothing under it. I slipped in my shorts that had zippers running across them so one pull and they’d completely fall away. I was done with Yeager’s shit. I was done with my own. I slipped on some black boots that went above my knees and walked out of my room. “Hanji, I’m going to go get fucked by Captain America. Keep the house clean.”  
  
“What about Eren?! I thought you two were hitting it off!”  
  
“I don’t even want to hear that goddamn brat’s name ever again. He fucked with the wrong guy.” I hissed and I knew it wasn’t even his fault. I was the one who was overreacting. I grabbed my keys and walked to the club. I walked in, skipping the line completely, and walked downed to the dungeon. “Oi, Commander, I need you.” I said as I walked over on my hands and knees and stared up at him with pleading eyes. I fucking hate myself. I didn’t even have to get drunk to do this. I’m disgusting. I’m groveling at his feet where I should be in that throne kicking everyone’s asses. This was so humiliating.  
  
“Get up here and prove it then.” Erwin smirked grabbing my hair and pulling me up.  
  
I tried not to let my brain back me out of this. I slipped in his lap my thighs hurting from where I had to stretch them so far apart. I leaned up and kissed him.  
  
It wasn’t his kiss.  
  
It wasn’t his hands going up the back of my vest.  
  
It wasn’t him that was whoring himself out to please me.  
  
It wasn’t him.  
  
No. This wasn’t about him. This was about me. I need to do this. I need to stop thinking of Eren. He was a total stranger and nothing was going to fix it. Why wasn’t I getting hard then? I had this sex god wanting to fuck me with no mercy and I was hesitating. I knew he could sense it too because he leaned away with his hand on my zipper.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
Was I sure? I didn’t know. I never cared before. Why did one brat change everything? Because I loved him. No, because I love him and that’s the honest truth. I growled and looked away from Erwin. I sighed and got up. I could get on my knees right now and suck him off before letting him pound in me until I couldn’t walk tomorrow, but I couldn’t do that.  
I walked out without saying a word.  
  
Eren was coming in two days.


	7. Blast from the Past

Chapter 7  
I walked down the Survey Corps headquarters going to a certain prison room. I order the guards to go away as I walked past each door. Finally I was in front of a certain cell. I looked down at the withering boy in front of me. “Eren…”  
  
“Oh, fuck, Heichou. Come here. I need you.” Eren moaned out touching himself more sweat rolling down his skin as his other hand was busy with his backside. “Fuck…”  
  
I walked into the cell and removed his hands straddling his hips. “You seem like you can handle it yourself.”  
  
“Please, Levi.” Eren whimpered as he held my cape tightly to pull me closer. He was looking up at me with so much lust it was hard to say no. How was this brat affecting me so much?  
  
“Shit.” I leaned down and crushed my mouth with the boy laying my full weight on him. He was already chained. He was already ready. He was fucking perfect. I bite his lip before leaning away and kissing down his neck. The boy was so toned. Perfection. I need him. I wanted him. He was a monster. He was everything. He was humanity’s last hope and I was his pawn. I was his goddamn strength. He was withering under me now as I slipped off my cape. “There is no love in the Survey Corps, Eren. You know this. Yet, you keep doing this. You keep fucking to me. Why? Why do this to yourself? I’m going to die one day.”  
  
He looked up at me with fire in his eyes that I had always found impressive. “Because I want your scent mixed with mine. I want your marks so deep I am scarred by them. Because I want to get my heart broken by you. I want _to become human for you_!” I was in him before either of us knew it. I was thrusting in him with no mercy. He was fucking loving it. My nails were trying to scar his body. They would never though. The steam was already rising from him trying to heal himself. I grabbed his neck and strangle him. My nails digging into the back. He would never heal them there. He would never get rid of them there.  
  
Eren grabbed my wrists after a few minutes gasping for breath. “H-Heichou… air…”  
  
I let him go and stared down at him as if he were my pray. My pupils were blown out in lust as I smirked. “You’re mine. You will die by my blade. You will die by me. At that moment I will tell you the one thing you’ve been wanting to hear.” I kept thrusting in him with no mercy. My fingers were covered in his blood. Titan and human blood. It was steaming off my hands. It was so hot. I was having troubles breathing through all the steam. His eyes were tight shut and his head was turned to the side as he grabbed my shoulders and clawed in them. “Tch.” I clicked my tongue as I grabbed his hips and forced him to move with me going deeper and deeper in him. He was screaming. He was touching himself because he knew I would never. He was calling out my name. Not my title. I didn’t care. I was surrounded by him and it was perfection.  
  
“L-Levi, I’m close.” Eren whimpered his legs wrapping around me as he gave himself to me. His hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat and was messed up.  
  
Noises escaped my own throat, but they couldn’t be heard over Eren’s yells from his orgasm. I wasn’t far behind him. I collapsed on him as I panted for breath. I was sweaty and disgusting. Eren was even in worse condition. He was bloody. Covered in cum, sweat and tears. He was gasping for breath and I could see the outlines of my thumbs on his neck. I really did almost try to strangle him. The back of his neck was dripping blood on his pillow.  
  
I get up and go over to a tub I had put there earlier that day. I put in a cloth and clean myself off quickly. I walked back to Eren with a different cloth and slowly started to clean him. I dressed his wounds and then put everything back. I got in bed next to him and held him tightly to him. On these nights I had no nightmares. I had nothing but Eren. The world around us wasn’t hell and it certainly wasn’t life threatening. I was just in a room. With a brat. My brat.  
  
~~~  
  
I woke up and cursed myself. My boxers were completely soiled. I was sweaty and Hanji was giggling next to me. “Shut the fuck up.” I growled and got up walking to my bathroom after I had taken off the different machines I had connected to me. I took a quick shower before walking out and putting on some new boxers. “You’re like a damn kid.”  
  
“At least I’m not doing a kid.”  
  
“I will make you leave right fucking now. I wasn’t doing a kid.” Bullshit. I sighed and changed my sheets and blankets before crawling back in bed. I sighed and got comfortable to try and go to bed. I was used to Hanji’s machines by now and her staring. I put back on the headset that recorded my brain waves and the heart monitor’s equipment. I laid back down and sighed going back to sleep.  
  
“Good night, Levi.” Hanji whispered.  
  
~~~  
  
“Eren! Do it now!” I hissed as I swung through the trees knowing Eren was right behind me.  
  
“But, sir, if I do that I may crush the troops below us!” Eren argued speeding up faster to catch up to me.  
  
“This is humanity’s victory! Kill the Armor and Colossal Titan! That’s an order!”  
  
Eren looked at me then nodded. He raised his hand and bit his thumb. A light came down and I swung out of the way to give Eren plenty of room. I stared up at him and our eyes met. His glowing green. I swung up to him and kissed him lightly on the forehead before turning back and quickly spinning along the colossal titan’s body. I dodged their arms while Eren pinned the colossal titan down with one foot and his hands were trying to push back the armor titan.  
  
I make quick work if the other titan many of our troops helping along in blinding him. Then something snapped at me. I dodge and look at my cape. The end of it was chewed off.   
I looked back at Eren and saw the green fabric in his mouth. My eyes widened. He had… tried to eat me. No. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. I look at Mikasa who was flying over Eren’s shoulder.  
  
“OI DODGE! EREN IS OUT OF CONTROL! WE CAN’T RISK ANY OF THIS!” I hissed as I swung around and pushed her away getting picked up myself. I looked at Eren in a glare. “Eat me. I fucking dare you. I won’t go down without a fight though.”  
  
I could hear the armor titan and colossal titan be taken down in the background. I could hear the two who were responsible try to explain themselves before they were killed immediately. All that was left was Eren. The last titan remain. Humanity’s last hope. He wasn’t even human though. He had missed our victory. His victory. His vengeance. “Eat me and you won’t be human! You goddamn brat! If you eat me you will never hear me say those words to you!”  
  
I was put in his mouth. I could hear Mikasa and Armin fighting to save Eren and the rest of the troop trying to kill him. No. He is to die by my blades. I slipped down his tongue getting covered in his saliva. I’m falling down his throat. No. I stab his throat as I slide down slowly coming to a stop. “You shitty brat! You ate me! You fucking ate me! How do you feel?! You ate _your lover_! I fucking told you if you ate me I wasn’t going down without a fight. I fucking told you. So, don’t hate me for this!” I hook onto his throat and start cutting away at his throat not knowing if I was going to come out at the front or the back. If I came out the back Eren was dead. If I came out the front he was alive. With one final stab I came out at the front. I fall to the ground only barely getting saved by Erwin. I panted as my body felt sore. I had third degree burns all over. I couldn’t sleep now though. I get out of the giant’s grip and look at Eren who was slumped against a tree. I limp over and go to the back of his neck. I cut him out.  
  
Eren stared up at me with exhausted eyes. Burn marks were on his skin. I didn’t care though. He had betrayed humanity.  
  
“When this all started, I said I was going to take responsibility of you.”  
  
“Sleep…”  
  
“No. You’ve been a bad dog, Eren. A very bad dog. You ate your master.”  
  
That snapped him out of his daze. He looked up at me with wide eyes. “W-What…?!”  
  
“You _ate_ me, Eren. We killed the other titans. You finally got revenge on them for killing your mother. Now there’s just one titan left.” My glare held tears as I got out fresh swords. “And this it will be my best kill ever. Guess what, Eren? I loved you. And you ate me. So, go have fun with your mother.”  
  
“I’M HUMAN!”  
  
“You don’t look like it to me.” I growled and saw everyone around me looking away. Even Mikasa saw that this was necessary. Eren was a threat to us all.  
  
“Levi!”  
  
“Don’t call me that.”  
  
“I love you, Levi.” Eren whispered staring up at me with tears falling down his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to… I…” He looked down and nodded. “Make it quick, please?”  
I leaned down and kissed him one more time. I leaned away and whispered in his ear. “I love you, Eren Yeager.” I leaned away before replacing my blades with new ones and placed the sharp sides on his flesh. I looked down at him and my heart once again cracked. Eren will be added to a list I never wanted him to be on. The people I have sacrificed list. I started muttering a song I didn’t know I knew. “So you can’t fly, if you never try, you told me… oh, long ago, but you left the wall, outside the gate, so more than ever it’s real, it was like a nightmare and it is painful for me, because nobody wants to die too fast, remember the day of grief, now it is strange for me, I could see your face, I could hear your voice.” Then I realized it. This was the first and last time Eren would ever hear me sing.  
  
Tears slipped down the boy’s cheeks more as he held my cape pulling me closer. He had done this some other time in a fit of passion and now… he was doing it because we were lovers. Together until the end. “Permission to kill you, sir?”  
  
“Permission granted.”  
  
“Remember the day we met, it is painful for me, because nobody wants to die too fast, remember the day we dreamt, it is painful for me, I could see your face, I could hear your voice.” Eren sobbed but he was still singing beautifully. He leaned against me as his swords trembled at my back. No one else was around us. It was just us. At least in my mind it was. I looked into Eren’s eyes and he looked into mine.  
  
There was no regret.  
  
There was no hate.  
  
There was nothing but affection.  
  
Memories.  
  
Happiness.  
  
Unspoken apologies.  
  
Admiration.  
  
Devotion.  
  
Determination.  
  
Sadness.  
  
Regret.  
  
Sorrow.  
  
Fire.  
  
Passion.  
  
Shit eating grins.  
  
Teary sobs.  
  
Joyful laughter.  
  
Cries of passion.  
  
Cries for help.  
  
Lazy nights on the wall.  
  
A monster he was never meant to be.  
  
Gentleness.  
  
A dream he’ll never obtain.  
  
An ocean he will never see.  
  
Another promise I had broken.  
  
Fear, but confidence.  
  
Understanding, but not understanding.  
  
A world bigger than us, but a world that had only us.  
  
Our first dance.  
  
Our first kiss.  
  
Our first hug.  
  
Our first hand holding.  
  
Our first time in bed.  
  
Our first fight.  
  
Our survival.  
  
Our ending.  
  
Our love.  
  
We started to sing the last of the song together. Our voices strained with tears because we saw each other’s looks. Our everything. “Song for the reluctant heroes. Oh, give me your strength, our life is so short, song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you, from my heart, song for the reluctant heroes, oh give me your strength, our life is so short, song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you.” I pulled on my swords and he pushed in his. We cried out as blood splattered around us. No one stopped us. No one was with us. It was just us. Only us.  
  
~~~  
  
I woke up sobbing, and so did he.


	8. Friends

Chapter 8  
  
I woke up sobbing that Thursday morning. What had I just dreamt about? My eyes widened as I looked down at my sheets. “My… My death… Our death… we… died… tragically. The titans were all gone. I was the last and… I ate him. I…” More tears filled in my eyes. “I lost control and ate him. I held my throat as I got up and ran to the bathroom. I vomited up last night’s dinner and sat there in a daze. It was five in the morning and I was terrified of myself. I had… ate him. I ate my lover. And then we sang together. We SANG like it was our song. Our song… “Day by day, we have lost our edge, don’t you know? Forgotten is the life we lead, now it seems you don’t care what the risk is, the peaceful times have made us blind.” I got up on shaky knees and flushed the toilet. I got in the shower and took a longer one than necessary. It was the only thing that calmed me down. I don’t know why, but showers always made me feel like home. I wonder if that’s something from my past… hopefully not. The past seems terrible as it is anyways. What had we been thinking at the time? We stared at each other singing and I had no idea what we were thinking. Until I realized something. Levi wasn’t looking at me like a monster.  
  
I had died a solider.  
  
He made sure it was by his blade because he was the only one able to keep me from being the monster I was. He never saw me as a monster. He saw me as a person. As a solider. As a lover. I had ate him and even still he believed I was human. Why was my heart racing at that realization? Did… Did I really still love him after everything? After being reincarnated? Is that even possible? I hold my head and walk out of the shower. I wrap a towel around myself and go back out to my room. Armin was on my bed.  
  
“You were crying…”  
  
“Yeah. I was.” I admitted because it was too early to argue.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“I… I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
“Eren… I talked to Levi for you… he thinks the same thing… with the touch… he umm… he’s familiar with you too… like that.”  
  
I knew that or at least I figured that already since he knew what I was talking about when I said there was monsters chasing after us. He knew what I’ve been through. He knows we’ve fucked until I couldn’t walk for days. He took my virginity before I even lost it. I felt a chill run down my spine. What had he been doing before I met him in this time period? Was he doing someone else right now? Was he letting someone do him? Why did I feel so jealous because of that? We are strangers, but then again we’re not. We’ve known each other for years. We died by each other’s blade. We’ve… we’ve done everything from fighting side by side to being so intimately close that I thought I was going to suffocate in his scent. “I figured… we talked yesterday during his lunch break… He was going to take me to work, but then he got mad at me and kicked me out.” I had banged my head on the counter for fucking up so badly with him after that I had a bruise now on it. I really was an idiot. Why did I even care? Because I love him.  
  
“What did you fight about?”  
  
“A song. He got really defensive when I started singing it.”  
  
“What was the song?”  
  
“I don’t really know... it goes something like… She lost her brother a month ago. His picture on the wall, and it reminds me. When she brings me coffee, her smile, I wish I could be with her, until my last day…” I sang as I started to put on my clothes drying off my hair. I wasn’t modest around Armin. We had been childhood friends so there was nothing he hasn’t seen. That didn’t mean I didn’t notice his wandering eyes. I was toned, but I knew a certain teacher was far stronger and built than me. I was blushing just thinking of it and I hated it.  
  
“Hmmm… I’ll look it up later for you.”  
  
“Thanks. How old is Levi?”  
  
“We don’t know. He won’t say. He doesn’t look that old. I would say middle twenties.”  
  
“So… do you think if I went after him romantically… it’d… be… okay?” I asked looking to the side and rubbing my neck. Why was I asking Armin this? I wasn’t exactly sure.  
  
“That depends… if you had sex with him then it would be a problem… cause then you would have to keep that little detail a secret, but… I mean… if you went for him… and he liked you back…” Armin said looking away from me and I knew right then that I had hurt him. It wasn’t a secret that Armin had this crush on me.  
  
“I don’t think we’ll get that far… I just…” I look at my hand and realize his smaller calloused hands were what I was missing in between my fingers. “Need his touch.”  
  
“Isn’t that what I just said not to do?”  
  
“…It’s not… like that. I just want to hold his hand. Anyways, so you’re taking me tomorrow?”  
  
“Of course. I already said I was.” Armin laughed and looked at the time. “Mikasa’s making breakfast. We should get going. How’s work going for you?”  
  
“It’s gotten more interesting. I don’t know. Jean’s gonna hold me after today since I missed work yesterday.” I explained leaning against my closet. I looked up at the ceiling and smiled. I could make out how he leaned against the counter sticking that perfect ass out as he viewed my work. How I knew he knew they were his eyes that I had drawn and not anyone else’s.  
  
Armin smiled and nodded. “I can’t believe you fell for a complete stranger.”  
  
“He’s not a complete stranger though. I mean… I know the basics about him. At least I did. I don’t know if he’s different now… but I know he likes to clean and clean things. He’s brave and strong and daring. He’s cold but also a sweetheart. He’s passionate but full of love. He doesn’t like being trapped. He follows rules and doesn’t like to cause a ruckus, but if he must he will. I know a lot about him. I know he thinks I’m disgusting and I’m a monster… but that’s because I was back then.” I blushed when I realized I was rambling on and on about him.  
  
“You got all that just by your dreams?”  
  
“Yeah… I know it’s crazy. The weird thing is I think he knows me too. He knew what I was talking about when I said my friends were slaughtered… He knew the song.”  
  
“That’s a possibility. It’s probably because you came in contact with him. It’s like how we didn’t start having dreams until Mikasa came into the picture.”  
  
“Yeah… and I don’t know. I just have this instant connection with him. I want to be around him all the time. I want to know the Levi now. I want to make him see that I’m not all bad. I don’t even care if we just stay friends. Just being around him I feel like is a privilege.” I was starting to realize how much I fell for him. How much I would yearn to see him before every mission just to get one last kiss. Just to say good bye. Just to get his touch. How the world went to shit around us, but we still were still so strongly bonded. We respected each other. Humanity’s Strongest. Humanity’s Last Hope. Our titles were so similar. Humanity needed both of us to defeat the titans. I needed him again. I needed him in my life. Now that I had a taste I was going to have him in my life whether he liked it or not.  
  
“Eren…” Armin gasped as he stared up at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I could hear it in his voice. We would nothing be more than best friends and it crushed him. He was trying so hard not to show it. I was so busy with my own feelings I didn’t even consider his.  
  
I rush over and held him close. “Hey, I’ll still be around. It’s not like I’m going to move in with him the first time I go over there. I promise I won’t leave you guys. Besides, you’ll be going to college soon. You’ll be leaving me. Don’t be so upset.”  
  
“Oh, Eren, we would never leave you.” Armin smiled and hugged me back. They already were leaving me though. Mikasa had a girlfriend. Though I didn’t approve of her at all. She was very uncaring, or at least that’s how she was around me. Maybe I just didn’t get along with people. I don’t really know. They’ve been going out since Mikasa was a freshman. Armin and Mikasa were juniors now. Armin was already receiving letters from colleges wanting him to enroll. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life though. I told him to become a doctor, but he didn’t know if he could handle the stress. Mikasa is going to go live with her girlfriend after she finishes high school and then they are going to figure out how to get Mikasa into college. We had talked it over and I basically had to force her to go be happy with Annie. It’s not that I wanted either of them to be out of my life I just knew I didn’t have much to offer them. Hell, I couldn’t even order at a restaurant properly. I wish there was somehow a way to learn how to read… but everything we’ve tried hasn’t worked.  
  
“Mikasa is and I want you to go to college. So, you’ll leave me eventually, but that’s okay. We all have to move on from our lives eventually.” It hurt me to say this but I didn’t really mind it. I didn’t want them to be hurt when I left them. Eventually I would. And now I was hoping a petite, intimidating, black haired, sex god was the one to steal me away. How come everything always came back to Levi? My heart was racing just by thinking of him. I really need to stop this crush. Hadn’t I when I burned all his images? Fuck my mood swings.  
  
“Armin! Eren! Breakfast!”  
  
So, the day has finally begun.  
  
I walked out to the table and sat down at my seat. Armin sat down at my right and Mikasa sat on my left. I sighed as I took a bite of my chocolate muffin. Mother made these and taught all of us how to make them. I could even make them.  
  
“So, Eren, how’s work?” Mikasa asked slipping down the scarf I had given her so she could eat.  
  
“I missed yesterday… so Jean’s probably going to have me make up hours today…” I said looking down at the table. I should probably eat a big breakfast and lunch since I wouldn’t be getting home till late.  
  
“Why did you?”  
  
My eyes widened when my dream came back to me. I suddenly lost my appetite. I put down my mouth and my mouth went completely dry. Years ago, I had dinned on Levi. He had to cut himself out of my throat to and then killed me. Tears filled my eyes as I looked away. Did… Did he… know? Of course he knew. It was Levi. I’ve never been able to get anything past him. I’ve never been able to figure him out either. When I was a wreck he stayed calm.  
  
“Eren, you okay?” Mikasa’s concern made me want to vomit even more. She shouldn’t be asking me if I was okay. I was the one who deserved the death penalty. Not him. I had asked to kill him. I had _asked_ permission to kill him. He was the one that hadn’t been okay.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I whispered and stood up from the table. I grabbed my bag and walked to the door. “I’m going to the car.” In the background I heard Armin telling Mikasa not to worry about me. I silently thanked him. I couldn’t handle her right now.  
  
~~~  
  
“You look like shit.” It was five and Jean finally decided to comment on my appearance.  
  
“I’ve been told.” I whispered. I’ve been told by him. He didn’t even know me and he could tell I looked like I went down the garbage disposal and then was cleaned out of it. I had to keep reminding myself that he did know me. Just not how I am now. Was there a difference between past me and present me? I wish I knew. I really did.  
  
Jean was about to reply when a certain short man walked up to me.  
  
His face was probably the last face I wanted to look at. His eyes were the last ones I wanted to see. His hair, though it looked like hell, was the last I wanted to admire, and he was the last person I wanted to see being in so much pain. “I’m sorry.” I blurted it out because I didn’t have a chance to back then. That song was the last thing we said together. The last thing on each other’s lips. There wasn’t the final “I love you”. There wasn’t the final “Good bye”. We had a song. Our death song. The song about needing so much more strength than what we had at the time and in this moment I finally understood why we sang it. Why he allowed me to kill him.  
  
He couldn’t survive without me.  
  
My heart raced as I stared at him. He couldn’t survive without me now. I slipped off my stool and walked around the counter. I looked into his red puffy eyes and grabbed both his hands. They were familiar. I intertwined our fingers and he allowed it. I stared at his face and knew he knew what that apology was for.  
  
“I’m sorry too.” He whispered and I realized I’ve never heard him say that. Not in our dreams and not in reality. Maybe he didn’t regret often because Levi was Levi and he was going to do what he wanted and if it caused the most fucked up situation then he was going to accept it. That seemed fitting and I was proud I could say that about him. I continued to look in steel eyes and saw his night. It was like mine. We had woken up crying.  
  
“Levi-”  
  
“It’s in the past now, okay? This is our new beginning. It’s not going to end like last time. This is our beginning. Let me get to know the you that is in front of me. The past doesn’t matter.” Levi said it with so much certainty it made me relax my hold on his hands. I looked down at them and blushed. What was he making us? Friends? Lovers?  
  
“So… are we friends or…?” I had to ask. I had to make sure I was okay with the answer. I was beginning to think I would be okay with anything he decided as long as it kept his cold calloused hands in mine. I wanted to know every little thing about him and he was going to let me because he wanted to know every little thing about me. My heart skipped a beat.  
  
“Friends. You’re not ready to get into the shit I am into now. You are really not mentally prepared to be with me. I don’t know you enough to be with you. So, let’s stay friends and see where that takes us.” Levi gave me a twitch of his lips and amusement in his eyes. He was probably thinking back to all of our good dreams.  
  
For some reason though I couldn’t take “see where that takes us” in an innocent way. I had us on the wall in my mind and it shadowed everything else. I smiled and nodded. I was okay being friends. I was relieved by it. I wasn’t ready for my first relationship. I wanted to take things as slow as possible and he seemed more than willing to allow me to set the bar on what was okay and what was not. “Okay. Thanks, Levi.” I felt the weight of our death lift off my shoulders as I watched him shrug. “See you tomorrow?”  
  
“Yeah.” He said and let go of one of my hands and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me down. I was panicked for a minute because he was so close to my face, but he didn’t make any move he just leaned up a little and whispered in my ear. “Don’t make me wait.”  
  
He could drag me down to hell if I was and I wouldn’t care. That’s what I fucking deserved for letting him wait. Fuck not looking eager. I was going to be there as soon as the fucking clock struck three. I would drag Armin down to hell with me because I would blame him if I was. I watched Levi walk away and the rest of the day really didn’t seem too important compared to that. Nothing made my day more. The words kept swimming in my mind. _Don’t make me wait. Don’t make me wait. Don’t make me wait…_ Over and over and I couldn’t care.  
  
Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.


	9. The Collar

Chapter 9  
  
It’s an apartment. A decent size apartment. Do I knock? Or ring the doorbell? Armin had dropped me off at exactly 2:56pm. I was early. Would he mind that I was a couple minutes early? My palms were sweaty. I really had no reason to be so nervous. We were just friends. I looked at my phone to make sure Mikasa got my message that I would be spending the night at Jean’s house. We normally had game nights on Friday so it was believable. I wipe my palms off on my pants. I was wearing a baggy black band tee-shirt and some skinny jeans along with some converse. I gulped. I rang the doorbell. It was 2:59.  
  
My eyes widened when I saw Hanji in the doorway wearing a leather skirt and a white crop top. “Oh, hey, Eren! You’re early! The Corporal is getting ready.”  
  
“H-Huh?” I asked confused. Did I have the wrong address? I looked up above the door and then back down at my sketchbook. It was the right address.  
  
“You’re confusing him, Hanji. Ignore her.” Levi said revealing himself behind her. I completely underdressed. I blushed as my eyes travel from his bare feet to his black slacks, to his white button up shirt, to his cravat, and then landed on his neat hair. He looked like he had a better night. So, did I. It was filled with sweet kisses and holding hands. It was before I…  
  
“What’s she talking about?” I asked confused as I tilted my head.  
  
“My stage name. Ignore it.” Levi sighed as he pushed Hanji away from the door and standing to the side. “Come in before I get arrested for allowing all this shit to happen.”  
  
That was more like the Levi I knew. I walked in and took off my shoes after wiping them on his mat. I put them neatly to the side and smiled when I saw Levi approved of my concern for cleanliness. I was approved entrance. Step number one complete. I walked down the hallway and glanced at all the rooms. A little down there was a large piano room and just outside of that room was the stairs. I continued to walk down the front hall to be opened up to a living room and kitchen. There was a fireplace under the tv that I could practically just see Levi and I snuggling in front of for hours on end. If Levi was the cuddling type.  
  
“It’s a living room. It’s not going to bite.” Levi rolled his eyes and pushed me in it. He was strong. I blushed more when I realized I was actually taking note of that. I quickly made   
my way into the living room not knowing where to place myself. The sofas looked too clean for me to sit on. “Sit down.” Levi snapped as he sat down in a chair that was to the side of the sofa.  
  
I sat down on the couch as close to him as I could without seeming odd. “So… ummm…” I looked around for a distraction. He was too casual. I was too ridged.  
  
Hanji walked over to Levi and whispered in his ear. He sighed and nodded. “Come with me. I have something that might relax you.”  
  
I got up and walked behind him to the piano room. Was he going to play for me? I blushed when he sat down leaving room for me. I watched his hand pat the seat next to him. I walked over and sat down gently staring at the black instrument. It seemed very much like Levi.  
  
He opened it to reveal keys and placed my hand on it gently. “Like any instrument each key has a different sound.” He pressed down on one of my fingers before going to the next then the third before going back to the second. He continued to press down on my fingers. “Marry had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb. Marry had a little lamb. Whose fleece was white as snow.”  
  
I chuckled and slipped my hand away once he had taken his hand off mine. “You’re probably an expert on this. Play me something?”  
  
“What do you want me to play?”  
  
“An easy song.”  
  
“Hmmm…” His fingers laid on the keys before he started to play. “London bridges falling down, falling down, falling down, London bridges falling down, my fair lady. Build it up with iron bars, iron bars, iron bars, build it up with iron bars, my fair lady. Iron bars will bend and break, bend and break, bend and break, iron bars will bend and break, my fair lady. Build it up with pins and needles, pins and needles, pins and needles, build it up with pins and needles, my fair lady. Pens and needles will rust and bend, rust and bend, rust and bend. Pens and needles will rust and bend, my fair lady. Build it up with gold and silver, gold and silver, gold and silver, build it up with gold and silver, my fair lady. Gold and silver I can’t get. I can’t get. I can’t. Gold and silver I can’t get, my fair lady. London bridges falling down, falling down, falling down, London bridges falling down, my fair lady.” Levi smiled and stared at me. “Amazed?”  
  
I looked up at him. I somehow ended up resting my head on his shoulder. He had a nice voice and somehow I don’t think the song was about a bridge. I think it was about a wall.   
Levi was letting me in. Hanji only confirmed it with her comments.  
  
“Wow, Levi, you normally don’t sing to anyone unless it’s me. I feel a little betrayed.” Hanji giggled from a chair in the corner. I had to wonder what was going through her mind.  
“Shut up, shitty glasses. I only did it because I thought it would relax him.” Levi got up making my head slip off his shoulder. “I didn’t think he would fall asleep.”  
  
“I didn’t!” I defended myself as I got up with him staring down at him with a pout. “I just became too relaxed by your singing. It was a slow song too.”  
  
“So sorry. I won’t sing to you.” Levi retorted rolling his eyes as he walked back to the living room. I followed and this time he joined me on the couch sitting next to me.  
  
“I liked it.” I said as I looked away from him. I had missed his smile.  
  
“So, favorite color?”  
  
I was taken off guard by his random question. “What?” I asked looking back at him.  
  
  
“We need to get to know each other. Favorite color.” It was a demand this time and I was beginning to think I liked how his commanding voice sound.  
  
“White.”  
  
“Black. Favorite food?”  
  
“Ummm… I like junk food though home cooked meals are good too… really anything.”  
  
“Same. Favorite animal? Life story.”  
  
“Probably a dog. Well, there’s really not much to tell. I lost my mom when I was little. My adopted sister and friend came to live with me to live with my uncle. He provided for us and I grew up. Now we live in this apartment by ourselves though I don’t really mind it. They go to school and I pay off all the bills. So, it all worked out.” I explained not really wanting to talk about my past, but Levi had said it in a voice I couldn’t say no to.  
  
“Cat. And I grew up in France, my mother and father had a huge business there that they wanted me to take over, but I got out of it. I wasn’t really social and my parents’ home schooled me so I didn’t have many friends. I did have two friends though. Their names were Isabel and Farlen. Though… they died after some shit happened. After that shit happened I came here to get away with my father and built my life here by becoming a teacher and traveling through the states.”  
  
That was heavy. I felt like he had just told me the biggest secret of his life. I bet there was so much more to the story. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to push it so I nodded and leaned against him a little. “So, do you know French?”  
  
“Je peux.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I can.”  
  
I smiled and stared down at him. “So, anything else you want to know?”  
  
“No. I think I get you.” Levi said as he leaned back and put his arms on the back of the couch. I tried not to cuddle up to him.  
  
“Why do you strip?”  
  
“It makes me feel alive. A friend of mine owns the club. I can go there and do whatever the hell I want and no one cares. Everyone worships it. So, I feel like I belong there.”  
  
“But didn’t you say you travel a lot?”  
  
“Yeah. I wind up back here though. So, I visit when I can.”  
  
“When are you leaving?” I asked wondering why I already felt like it would be the end of the world if he were to leave here and didn’t take me with him.  
  
“When I get bored here.” Levi explained looking over at me. “I would have left by now, but a certain someone had to catch my interest.”  
  
I was that certain someone.  
  
My heart started racing as I looked away from him. I couldn’t look into his eyes. I felt like I didn’t deserve all this. He was opening up so much to me and admitting everything. I felt so weird. What’s that expression? Butterflies in your stomach? Yeah… that’s how I felt. I glanced back at him and saw he was still looking at me with amusement in his eyes.   
“W-What?”  
  
“You’re blushing.”  
  
My eyes widened as I held my face in my hands. “Shut up.” I was making a fool of myself and he called me out on it! The bastard!  
  
Levi got up and ruffled my hair. “I’m going to start making dinner. Make yourself at home, kiddo.” He heard him walk into the kitchen and get out some pans.  
  
Another body took his place.  
  
I looked over to see Hanji grinning at me. “Y-Yes…?”  
  
“Levi told me you had the dreams too! What are they about?!”  
  
I jumped back a little as I scrambled to put some space in between us. “U-Umm… probably similar to Levi’s. You know, titans.”  
  
“What were you fighting for?!” She got out excitedly as she got out a huge notebook and started to scribble down notes.  
  
“My mom… she had died when Wall Maria was breached. The house collapsed on her… and…” I looked away remembering Hannes had saved us instead of fighting. I really couldn’t handle saying that right now. “Tell me about your experiments.”  
  
“Tch, here we go.” Levi said with disinterest as he rolled eyes. “You’re going to regret that.”  
  
And I did.  
  
She didn’t shut up.  
  
She talked until it was nine thirty.  
  
I was on the couch waiting for Levi to get out of the shower. I had to leave soon but he assured me I could come over whenever I could as long as it was between the times he gave me. He said he would drop me off at my house and then go to The Chain. The name sounded very suggestive and I had to wonder what Levi did there. I asked him.  
  
“…Shit a child shouldn’t know about.” He said simply as he walked down the hall to his room. He really wasn’t modest about his body. He beckoned me with a finger to come with him.  
  
I walked to his room and sat down not at all surprised to see machines and how it was clean. “I’m sure I can handle it. I’m not as young as you think I am.” I said as I looked away from his toned pale body. The image would be painted in my mind forever.  
  
“Hmmm… Maybe. What do you think the name suggests?”  
  
“Some BDSM kink.”  
  
“Bingo.” Levi slipped on some white shorts that were just held together by a zipper that ran across them. He put on a garter belt that tied onto his lacey underwear. I was seriously trying not to look as he rolled some black thigh high lace stockings. He slipped on a black vest and buttoned it up. He had put black eyeliner on his eyes making the gray stand out so much more and I seriously wasn’t checking him out because that was wrong. Right? “Oi, how do I look? You’re the one that inspired the look.”  
  
Oh fuck this guy. He really knew how to mess with me. “You look okay…”  
  
“Just okay? Geez, don’t get too hard over there.” Levi said flatly as he fidgeted with his hair. Was he seriously thinking I really didn’t like him in that get up? He had looked so professional a couple hours ago and now here he was looking like a sex god. He slipped on a collar and it only made it worse. “Do you know what a collar means?”  
  
Of course I did. Even the most innocent know what a collar means. Ownership. Someone out there owned Levi and I had no control over that. Honestly what was I thinking? That I actually had a chance with him? Yeah, right. He probably had everyone on the block after him. “Yeah. It’s okay though… It’s not like we’re together or anything now.”  
  
He hit the wall with a fist and glared at me. “We still mean something. Don’t dismiss me so easily. I fucking hate it when people don’t fight for what they want. This collar doesn’t mean anything. It’s my old one. The guy that gave it to me just didn’t want me to get touched while I was on the stage. As long as I’m wearing it no one will touch me. Rule number one: Don’t touch someone else’s property.” He walked over to me and my heart stopped.  
  
He had a second collar.  
  
And it was fitted around my neck.  
  
I was his.  
  
The whole world seemed like it was completely gone. It was just us. He was staring down at me with interest as he smirked. “That looks good on you. I thought teal would be a good color. I expect you to wear this whenever you aren’t with me.”  
  
“M-Mikasa will kill you.”  
  
“Then don’t let her find out it’s from me.”  
  
Like hell I was even planning on telling her shit. “I-I’ll figure something out then.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
I got up. It was 9:57. I had to leave in three minutes. What had just happened? What were we? And why hadn’t I refused the collar? I was his now.  
  
And I felt like this was my demise.


	10. Mistake

Chapter 10  
  
-Levi-  
  
I dropped Eren off and then drove to the Chain. I walked in and then went down to the dungeon. I collared him. I seriously collared him and he accepted it. He didn’t even take it off when I dropped him off. I thought he would since his sister was right inside, but he didn’t. He was mine. I felt secure. I felt like I actually could be with him even if we had failed in the past. It was exhilarating. Though I never said we were together. Because I had one thing that was still holding me back from slamming that boy down on my desk and fucking him senselessly. And that thing was Erwin. I walked up to him and stared up into his eyes. “After tonight I won’t be able to have a fling with you anymore so do your worst.” I didn’t like cheaters. I didn’t like people who lied. Secrets were okay as long as they were worth keeping a secret, but lies were hurtful. I never wanted Eren to feel like he was being lied to. Erwin would risk that.  
  
“You didn’t…” I had to look away from the pain in his eyes. I really couldn’t stand that look. ‘Cause, honestly, I may still love Erwin. We’ve known each other since college and we’ve been fucking each other ever since. Not that love was sex. No. I knew the difference. Sex with Erwin just created our romance. He’s always been there for me, and well, I’ve pretty much been there. We’ve relied on each other for so long. I really didn’t want to walk away from him now.  
But then there was Eren.  
  
“I collared him.”  
  
He got up and I fucking knew what was coming. I braced myself on the floor. There was going to be a punch. There was going to be a kick. If not, then there was going to be punches and kicks. It never came though because Erwin wasn’t like me. He was sadistic as hell but physical pain wasn’t his style. It never was unless I requested it. No, Erwin liked to strip me of my pride. He liked to break me down and then build me back up again just how I was going to do to Eren. Harm to the face was a big no-no, anywhere else was okay as long as it was called for. That was the rule in this community. I should have at least gotten slapped, but Erwin knew I would either get off because of it or not listen to a damn word he said. He pushed me up against the wall and glared at me sending a shiver down my spine.  
  
“Why did you come here?” His voice had changed from his usually calm cool voice to a hard commanding one. One that gave him his title as commander and I realized I was under him. I had always forgotten that small detail even during our play. I had always thought I was allowing him to do it and he was never fully in charge. Now… he was and I could do nothing.  
  
I try to look casual. I tried to look like I wasn’t shaking at the knees. I stood up as tall as I could but I didn’t come near to towering over him. “To say goodbye.” He knew what I meant. He knew because I was staring into his eyes when I said it and the pain there was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. Hell, I’ve been inside a titan’s mouth- my lover’s mouth- and right now, that look, that pain, seemed so much more horrible than a brush of death. We’ve had dreams too.  
  
He had clipped a leash onto my collar before I could stop him and I was tugged forward and strapped down to a bench. My eyes widened as I tried to get out of the straps. My knees were on the ground and I could hear him shuffling in the background. A cloth was put around my eyes and that’s when I really started to panic. I’ve never used our safe word before. I had created it, but now it was lost in my panic. A safe word is a word that every person in a BDSM relationship should have. It’s a word to regain freedom. A “back off, I’m serious” type of word. I opened my mouth to say it, but the wind escaped me when his hand slammed against my ass. I bit my lip as I glared over at him knowing he couldn’t see it. Was he seriously going this route?  
  
“How dare you come into my club and tell me hands off when you are wearing my collar? Do you really think I’m going to listen to a slave like you?” He hissed and my ass was hit again. He wasn’t holding back like he usually was. He was seriously pissed. There was only two things I could do. Beg for forgiveness. Or use the goddamn safe word I couldn’t fucking remember.  
  
“I-I’m sorry, Commander…” Fuck me. There goes my pride. There goes all the respect I’ve built up in this club. Where was Hanji? She had dressed to come here. Why wasn’t she stopping this?  
  
He spanked me for the third time and then turned me around and took off the blindfold. There was a full house staring at me. I had tears in the corner of my eyes and they were staring at me with interest. They were witnessing me being put in my rightful place and they were fucking enjoying it. I had done the same to them when I wanted to blow off steam. I glanced at Erwin and shivered. He was glaring down at me and I knew I had displeased him. My heart crushed. I couldn’t leave him here. I couldn’t. I belonged here. I had to get the collar back from Eren. “C-Commander… please let my wrists go… Let me show you what I can do. Let me… make it up. Please… I won’t go to him anymore. I won’t see him anymore.” His touch felt like it was printed on my body. Green eyes still felt like they were watching me and admiring me. I did a double take of the room to make sure he wasn’t here. My eyes landed back on blue and I looked up at him with my best pleading look.  
  
He relented.  
  
I rub at my wrists and crawl over to him. I leaned down and licked his shoes. This was so disgusting. I knew my place though. I knew it all too well now. I belonged here. I didn’t want to disappoint him. I had thought I wanted something different. I was so horribly wrong. I kept cleaning his shoes like a goddamn cat. I looked up at him and smiled. “Please forgive me, Commander?” He hadn’t reacted this badly when I first told him about Eren. He actually gave me advice. He probably thought I wouldn’t do it or that the kid wouldn’t want me. How horribly wrong he was and he almost lost me because of it.  
  
“I forgive you.” He said and leaned down picking me up like a bride. He sat down and played with my hair. I was in his lap and for once I was happy to be there and petted. I snuggled close to him and cling to him.  
  
“I’m sorry, Commander, I didn’t realize how much you needed me.” My voice was soft and frail. I almost didn’t recognize it as mine. I always spoke in sarcasm and control, but now it was soft and apologetic. Something only he could get out of me.  
  
“Of course I need you. I love you, Levi.” He had broken the scene with that one sentence.  
  
My eyes widened and I scampered off his lap. I unclip the leash and run up the steps like a frightened cat because fuck I was not expecting that. We had never said that to each other before now. We were fuck buddies and we should have always remained that way. I knew my orders and I would fulfill them but like hell I was going to say that back to him. I didn’t want to love anyone anymore. I never had the urge to in the first place, but now that I had remember what it was like I wanted nothing from it.  
  
The pain.  
  
The tragedy.  
  
The betrayal.  
  
The monster within.  
  
It was all there and I didn’t want it.  
  
Not with Erwin.  
  
Not with Eren.  
  
I had to get the collar back.  
  
~~~  
  
-Eren-  
  
I walked in holding the collar tightly to me. I didn’t want the bell to jingle when I walked. It was teal and had a hook where a collar could be placed. A bell was in the center. I loved it so much. I felt so secure. I felt like everything was okay because I had this one piece of fabric. I was his and I felt like that’s all that mattered. All the lights were off except for the lamp in the corner where Mikasa was reading. I wasn’t surprised that she was up. Armin usually stayed up because he had consumed all of the coffee in the world but he must have crashed in his room because I didn’t hear any movement or typing. I noticed how Mikasa glanced up, then back at her book then up again in complete shook. She had seen it and I was prepared for the explosion.  
  
“What is that?” She asked closing her book loudly and getting up. She walked over to me and snatched my hand away from the collar and examining it. She wasn’t yelling yet. That was a good thing. That meant she was willing to listen to my reasons.  
  
“IS THIS A COLLAR?!” Kaboom. The explosion happened and there was no time to say my lies. I really didn’t like lying to her, but I wasn’t about to tell her about Levi.  
  
“Y-Yeah… please be gentle with it… Jean gave it to me… I… umm… we’re dating.”  
  
“Like hell you are!”  
  
“Mikasa, he’s really not that bad.” Barf. Gag. Gag. “I really love him.” Kill me now.  
  
“When were you going to tell me?!”  
  
“U-Ummm…. Now?” I asked and kept the collar close. I really should have taken it off the minute Levi drove away but I couldn’t part from it. I felt like I was throwing him away. I really felt like I had a connection with him and this only strengthened it. I really couldn’t part from it. Not now. Not ever. Not even if he asked for it.  
  
“Eren! You were supposed to tell me! How could you just hide this from me!? How long have you been together with him?!” Mikasa demanded glaring at me and crossing her arms. She reminded me of him sometimes. I’ve seen the same stance before in my dreams when we got in fights. Though at the time I didn’t know who he was. He was just a black image.  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you until it was official. And… only for a couple days.” Why was it so easy to lie to her? I was glad I grown out of my ears blushing while I lied. My mom had caught me with so many lies because of it, but now no one could tell I was lying. That didn’t mean I liked to lie. It was just necessary now. I would never lie to him.  
  
Armin walked out and rubbed his eyes. “Why are you yelling, Mikasa…? You know you should have woken me up.” He looked too cute in his long shirt but his expression was death. He really had passed out from exhaustion and now we had woken up the devil.  
  
“Did you know Eren was dating Jean?!” Mikasa growled glaring at me and the collar. I was owned and she knew it. I was terrified of when she found out I had lied to her and that I was dating an older man, who was her most hated teacher.  
  
Armin looked at me and I pleaded with my eyes for him to go along with it. “Not really. I mean, I saw the way they looked at each other.” Armin shrugged and glared at Mikasa. “Don’t wake me up again. We’ll continue this conversation in the morning.  
  
Thank you, Armin.  
  
He had bought me time. Mikasa dismissed me and I walked to my room. I took a quick shower and then got in some boxers and sweats. I kept the collar around me. I walked back to my bed and sighed laying down and smiling. Levi was the only thing on my mind.  
  
I was Levi obsessed and I knew it was creepy but I seriously couldn’t help it. I may have gotten into a relationship with the sexiest, perfect, man I know and it was just getting better and better.  
  
Until the first pebble hit my window.  
  
I opened my window and dodged another rock before looking down. I smiled and waved. “Hey, Levi!” I couldn’t believe he was here and climbing up the emergency exit. He must have hit every window with pebbles before he found mine. I couldn’t wait to see what he wanted. I couldn’t wait to talk to him. What he said was the last thing I wanted to hear.  
  
“Give me back the collar.”  
  
My whole face paled and the world around me shattered.


	11. A Note from Levi

Chapter 11  
  
-Levi-  
  
I feel like I should put a note in right now before we continue. We are getting into BDSM aspects and I would love it if people that had no idea what the fuck this was actually was educated. It’s not a bad thing. It really isn’t. There are just some things we need to go over. Let’s start with the basics. Master, Dom, Sub, Slave. These are the four main categories of people and they are all different. I had and have a master/slave relationship with Erwin, so I am the most educated with this type though I know the basics. So I will give my form of definition of each word.  
  
Dominates- They are your typical topper. They are the guys that just are on top and may have a few kinks here and there. They don’t punish you. They don’t have rules you have to follow. They are just your typical romance with a few kinks thrown in there.  
  
Submissives- They are your typical bottom. They are together with the dom and have a say in the decisions they make. In my opinion, they don’t respect their topper enough, but like I said, I’m a slave so I would disagree with them.  
  
Master- They are in a totally different world than dominates. They generally give you rules and if you don’t follow them they will punish you. Whether that’s humiliation, physical, or mental, that’s up to them and your hard limits. Masters are not abusers. They will stop if you tell them to. After a scene they will tend to all your injuries, all your emotional needs, and they will care for you. They will make you feel like their most cherished possession.  
  
Slaves- I may ramble here, so bear with me. A slave is a cherished possession. To be a slave you have devoted yourself to your master. You have given your master everything. You look up to them as a teacher. As a protector. As a punisher. As a lover. They are everything put into one. You are happy to serve them because you want them happy. You are happy to do what they want because you want to be perfect for them. You follow their rules to keep them happy and if you displease them you are risking their faith in you. You don’t want that. You don’t want them to ever be disappointed in you because that means you are failing them. That you are a failure. You have no say about the rules or the principles of your relationship. You do have your safe word.  
  
Since that was brought up I would like to say something about a safe word. It’s a cursed blessing. It’s for the bottom to get out situations they can’t handle. It also means the bottom couldn’t handle it. They failed at the session. It also means that the top put the bottom in that situation. They put them in a hard place and that may cause some pain. They failed their bottom because they didn’t protect them from harm. That is why I’ve never used the safe word with Erwin. I never wanted to fail him.  
  
All that said, I would like to say that Erwin wasn’t a bastard for doing what he did. He was being my teacher. He was testing me and I failed him. If anything, this was my fault. You’ll find all that out in the next chapter though. In all honesty, I’m stalling in writing the next chapter because I have no idea where to start with it. Because I had hurt Eren. Because I had hurt Erwin. And I really had no idea what I was doing at the time… if only I had known…  
  
You’ll find out that later though.


	12. Wings

Chapter 12  
  
-Levi-  
  
I’m in his arms and I am so happy. He had forgiven me. He had accept me back into his strong arms. His hand was rubbing my arm softly as he held me in his embrace. I was just wearing his shirt that looked like a dress on me. He loved it and I knew he did. My hair was a mess and there was rope burns running up and down my body. Aftercare was needed but I really didn’t mind the wait. I had missed this the most. When he wasn’t the commander. When he was just my Erwin holding me close and kissing my forehead every once and awhile. Eren had threatened this. His hand moved to my back and started to rub it slowly. I was trying to fight off sleep but his comfy king size bed with a fancy canopy that had drapes coming down and around the bed was just too comfy. There was a lot on my mind though and I figured Erwin was the one person I should tell.  
  
“I got the collar back from him…” I whispered softly noticing how his hand stopped on my back and he tightened his hold around me. “I don’t love you… I… I don’t know how I feel towards you, but… I didn’t want to lose you. I’m sorry, Erwin.”  
  
“Hey, I said you were forgiven. The important thing is you realized you still wanted me even after you had a bratty kid tempting you to not be with me.” Erwin said softly and his words relaxed me a little. My mind wander though. Back to a few hours ago where I had destroyed a boy. My past lover. I shivered.  
  
 _“Give me back the collar.” I said staring at him through the window. I was in his filthy emergency escape staring at him with pleading eyes. I had just ran all the way down here and I was going to get this collar back. It was a mistake. It was a complete and total mistake. I could see how much I had crushed him but at that moment I didn’t care. Because Erwin had crushed me. I had failed him. I really couldn’t stand Eren having the collar for more than needed. He had it though. It was around his neck and made his eyes pop. Made him look so cute. I had designed it on a whim in case I ever wanted to ask him about it, but… now it didn’t seem right. It looked like it belong on him though. This was going to be a battle._  
  
 _“W-What?” He asked as he backed away falling off his bed. His sister asked if he was alright and Eren replied quickly with a yes. He stared up at me and I climbed through his window. I walked over to him and kneeled down. I go to take it off but his hands slap mine away. “Why? No. You can’t do this. I-I thought…”_  
  
 _“I never said we were together.” I snapped not caring if I broke him anymore. “Just give it back. It was never meant to be yours. I shouldn’t have given it to you. I should have never talked to you. I have my own master, Eren. I can’t do this. I’m not a cheater. Give it back.”_  
  
 _“What?” I could tell he was trying not to scream in rage and cry in agony. He was staring up at me with complete shock and I wanted to wipe it from his face. “Why? What?”_  
 _“I’m sorry… okay? It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done this to you, but…” I held my own collar tightly. It was black and hand three hooks around it. On the front one it had a tag that had my name on it engraved in cursive. “I’m sorry. Please just give it back.”_  
  
 _“I don’t get what you are saying…” Eren’s eyes weld up again and he held the basic collar tightly to him. I had forgotten what the collar meant. I had forgotten how sacred it was._  
  
 _“Damnit, Eren, we aren’t there yet and we never will be. A collar means that the master wants to be with the slave for the rest of his life. He choose the slave to be his. It’s sacred. It’s so much more than marriage. It’s so much more than trust. Give it back. We can’t do this. I’m already owned. I’m already a slave to someone else and…”_  
“Do you love him?” Eren asked tears falling down his cheeks.  
  
 _“…I wouldn’t say that.”_  
  
 _“Then fuck what this collar means if it doesn’t mean much more than what he gave to you.” Eren hissed and glared at me. He got up and my natural instinct was to cower. Then I saw the heated look in his eyes and I couldn’t back down because this was a brat who had no power over me._  
  
 _“He loves me and as long as that remains the same that collar around your neck means nothing. Give it the fuck back.” I growled standing above him as I pushed his arms above his head and unclipped the collar. I circled my own collar realizing how important it was. “I’m sorry, Eren.” I turned to his window and climbed out. I started walking down then fire escape when I heard him scream an agonizing scream. I had shattered his heart before I even had the chance to have it. He had handed it over to me and I let it drop to the ground._  
  
Tears fell down my cheeks as I buried them in Erwin’s chest. “Please don’t make me go through what he went through…” I was so agonized. I was feeling so hurt. My heart was broken and I couldn’t understand why. I was always Erwin’s. I was always cherished in these arms and I was always loved. With Eren though… things were different and I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so horrible for making him go through that. We were strangers after all. We weren’t though. He had known me and I had known him. We had died for each other. And now I was pushing him away. I had made him cry.  
  
“… I couldn’t imagine… Levi, do you know what the collar means? It’s not about ownership. It’s about a bond. It’s about trust and love. It’s the one thing that says I will forever be yours.” Erwin whispered as he kissed my forehead again. He had said this the first time he had given me it. The first time it slid around my neck. I was eighteen then. He was twenty three. I was now thirty-four and he was thirty-nine. We’ve spent all this time together.  
  
He was also the reason why I left and kept leaving.  
  
“I know what it means…” I whispered as I tried to wipe away my tears. I was scared he was going to take my collar away from me. He had never threatened that. He had always made me wear it when I could. Wherever I went. Hanji was going to chew my ear out when I got home. I could already tell by how my phone was going off.  
  
Erwin sighed and rubbed my back. I could feel his eyes closed as he shifted to get more comfy around me. It had been awhile since we shared a bed together.  
  
Tears continued to slip down my cheeks and I had no idea why I was so broken up about it. I wasn’t the one who was ripped out. Who was pushed away. He was. I don’t deserve these tears. What was I going to do when I saw him again? We had held hands… We had done everything in our past and I wanted that now. I could disappoint Erwin though, because they hurt just as much. I should have never given him hope. “Day by day we have lost our edge, don’t you know forgotten is the life we led. Now it seems you don’t care what the risk is. The peaceful times have made us blind. Can’t look back. They will not come back. Can’t be afraid. It’s time after time. So once again, I’m hiding in my room. The peaceful times have made us blind. So, you can’t fly. If you never try. You told me, oh long ago, but you left the wall, outside the gate, so more than ever it’s real.” My eyes widened. That was our song. That was mine and Eren’s song. That was our death song. My heart was cut up so much more. I was… singing… it… to Erwin. By the way his hold tightened on me I could tell he recognized it too, but my lips kept moving. I couldn’t stop. Because Eren was mine when I had died. There was no Erwin in that picture and for some reason that sent my heart fluttering. Was I really that horrible? “It was like a nightmare and it is painful to me, because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief and it is strange for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.” I saw green eyes. I saw brown messy hair. I heard his sweet voice. His sweet laughter. Tears kept falling down my cheeks.  
  
“Stop.” Erwin got out in a hiss and my lips instantly closed. I had upset him. “Don’t ever sing that song to me. Do you understand how much that song hurt me back then? You would sing it. You would hum it and it was never towards me. It was always towards someone else and it still is. So, don’t sing it to me now. You understand me?” He picked up my head in his fingers roughly, making him look in his intimidating eyes.  
  
“…I understand.” I whispered the tears sliding down my face more. I wanted to be held gently. I wanted to get soft kisses and trace boyish features. I wanted to be with Eren right now. Eren was long gone though. I had broken him way too much. That agonized cry proved it. I shook as Erwin held me close and rubbed my back.  
“Forget about him.” He whispered and wiped my tears away gently. I felt like it wasn’t gentle enough. I felt like he was underestimating how much I really did care about the other. I didn’t want to tell him because I was scared of how he was going to react. My eyes widened. That wasn’t how this lifestyle was supposed to be. I was supposed to be comfortable. This lifestyle was designed to make me feel safe and loved. I shouldn’t fear him.  
  
“I’m scared of you.”  
  
Erwin drew back and his eyes widened, the hurt visible. “W-What? Why?”  
  
“I don’t know… I just am… I think that’s why I keep running from you… because…” I was too intimidated by him. Every punishment I was always so tempted to use the safe word.  
“If I ever forced you to do something I had no idea. You never said no. You never used wings. I’m sorry, Levi.” He actually looked scared that I was going to leave again. My heart twisted painfully. I hadn’t realized how we didn’t have that much communication. I didn’t realize how much I needed to talk about this.  
Wings.  
  
That was our safe word.  
  
That was my safe word.  
  
I should have never forgotten it.  
  
The wings of freedom.  
  
I looked down as I didn’t know what to do. My hands went to my neck and I fiddled with collar. It was supposed to bring me security. It was supposed to give me happiness. I trembled as I unclasped the clasp. I snap it back together once it’s off me and folded it neatly before handing it to Erwin. “Goodbye, Erwin.”  
  
“You’re seriously doing this to me again?” Erwin hissed getting up and staring at me with hurt.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I grabbed my clothes and put them on taking off his shirt and handing it out to him.  
  
Erwin got up coming over to me and slamming me against the wall. I flinched and looked up at him with wide scared eyes. “You can’t keep doing this, Levi! Every time you get the tiniest bit attached you run off to god knows where doing god knows what! Don’t you care about me at all?! Don’t you care that I’m hurting?!”  
  
“Of course I do! I understand what I’m doing every time I leave, okay?! I can’t be with you though and this is only proving it more! You scare me! This isn’t working anymore! This isn’t worth it! This isn’t some fucking game, Erwin!” I slammed my fist against the wall because I knew better than to hit him. “Do you even know what love is?! Because you’ve fucked up my definition of it! Do you get how much I’ve tried?! Do you understand how much I wanted to be with you?! I could never get to be there with you because, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever loved you and I don’t think I ever will! Yes, I loved being with you! I loved the things you could make me do, but I’ve never loved you as a person because I don’t know one goddamn thing about you!” I hissed as I looked down. I had to escape. I had to get away. I had to leave this godforsaken town before I ruined anymore lives. I wouldn’t be coming back. I stomp on his foot and kick his shin before sliding under his arms and walking to the door. “Goodbye, Erwin.”  
  
“LEVI! DON’T GO!” It was pained. It was teary and I knew if I turned around now I wouldn’t be able to go. I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing him cry because that was one thing I never wanted to do. “What about Petra?!”  
  
That stopped me. I held the doorknob and looked down at my ring finger. We had met in college and I was a shitty boyfriend to her. We were so in love though. She knew about Erwin. She knew I would never be completely hers. We had all been friends and she knew how I was with him. She understood. She trusted I wasn’t fucking him when I was with her. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. I hated liars. I hated cheaters. Erwin was a cheater. When we were married I completely stopped talking to Erwin because I wanted her to not have to worry about him. When she died I wasn’t expecting it. The previous day she was saying how much she loved me and thought I should be friends with Erwin. She said she wanted me to be happy. Tears fell down my cheeks as I hit the door frame. “Don’t you dare talk about her. You have no right to do that to her.”  
  
“She wanted me to take care of you.”  
  
“She wanted me to be happy.” I retorted and I was done with this conversation. I was done because she always said I didn’t love her as much as Erwin and that just wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Not to her and not to me. “I loved her so much. I loved her so much more than you. So, don’t pull that shit on me. I know what she wanted.” I run up to him and jumped grabbing his hair and pulling him down to my height. It felt fucking great slamming my knee in his face. It felt exhilarating to see him wither in pain as he held his bleeding nose.  
  
“OW!”  
  
“Don’t follow me.”  
  
I was gone.  
  
I just wanted to find this perfect life.  
  
I feared I had just ruined it.  
  
That I had lost it long ago.  
  
~~~  
  
-Eren-  
  
Armin and Mikasa came running in when I let out my cry. I looked at Armin and held him tightly as I cried in his chest. Today went so great. Why would he do this? Why would he when he already had someone in his bed? Was it Hanji? I couldn’t see her doing that to me even if we were complete strangers.  
  
“Eren, what happened?!” Mikasa asked frantically as she looked over me for injuries. “Where’s that damn collar? Did it break?! Is that why you’re so upset?!”  
  
I shield myself with Armin as I continued to cry in his chest. I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t… deserve this.  
  
“Mikasa… let me and Eren talk. This is a man thing.” Armin said gently and I knew what he was going to say. I just didn’t have the energy or need to want to hear it.  
  
She sighed and nodded walking out because she trusted Armin with me. She would never trust him.  
  
“Shhh… what happened?”  
  
“Can… can I tell you later? Just read me to sleep?”  
  
Armin sighed and nodded. He helped me into bed and told me a story.  
  
I didn’t dream about him and for some reason I was expecting that. Because he was gone.


	13. Life was hell

Chapter 13  
  
It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen him. I haven’t talked to anyone since. Except Armin. Armin was the only one to understand me right now. He had been through a similar situation with Jean. I sighed as I walked into the movie theater. I sat down at my stole and stared. Just stared at the world passing me by. I wanted to go back under my covers like I had been for the past couple weeks. I wanted to ask who had taken him away from me, but there was no one to ask. I had went to his address only to see it was for lease. I hadn’t seen Hanji. I hadn’t heard one little thing about him. I had asked Armin if he had seen him, but Armin said he had resigned due to personal issues. For all I know he could be dead. He should be to me. In my dreams he was. I had dreamt one dream about him. There was no more soft kisses at night. There was no furious fucking on the walls. There was no discovering what was in that goddamn basement. There was none of that. Just hellish nightmares of my mom being snapped in half by a titan and watching my comrades die around me. There was no escape from reality and there was no escape from my dreams. I wasn’t happy anymore and it was all his fault. My rut was back again.  
  
“Finally showing up for work I see, Yeager.” Jean. I had completely forgotten about him.  
  
“I’m not in the mood, Jean.” Levi was gone and there was no way for me to fix that. I had never gotten his number. I had never gotten to know him. I never got to know how he was now. That was the crushing part. I had known this man that haunted my dreams for weeks, but I couldn’t get to know the real him. I wondered what that song meant. “She lost her lover a month ago, his picture on the wall, and it reminds me, when she gives me coffee her smile. I wish I could-”  
  
“Don’t you fucking dare sing that song.”  
  
My eyes widened as I stared up expecting him, but I was met by Hanji sniffling and a giant that resembled Captain America who was also trying to keep it together. “H-Hanji?” Actually this guy was with her the first time I had met Hanji. I never got his name then either. “What’s wrong?” For some reason I knew what was wrong. He was gone and it had hit us hard.  
  
“Have you talked to him…?” She asked going up to me and hugging me close.  
  
“…No.” I whispered as I looked at the ground. “I haven’t. Not since…” Tears welled up in my eyes and my hand went up to my neck.  
  
“What happened, Eren? You guys were doing so good…” Hanji cried in my chest as I continued to hold her.  
  
“Hey, Eren, get your friends out of here. They’re scaring costumers.” Jean hissed and I nodded.  
  
“Hey, let’s get you some food and milkshakes. That will make you feel better.” I coaxed, getting up and taking them across the parking lot to the burger place. I walked in and got us a table. Hanji sat beside me and Captain America sat across from us. I had called him handsome the first time I saw him now… all I wanted was a short, grumpy, black haired man. I looked at the table. “I apologize. I’m normally not like this… you’re meeting me at a bad time…Ummm…” I trail off hoping the man across from me would introduce himself.  
  
“Erwin. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Eren, you see… ummm…” Erwin looked down and at that moment I knew. I knew because I had seen it before. Long ago.  
  
I nodded. “So… he left me for you? Or did he leave you for me? Or… I don’t know… I hadn’t meant to complicate things as far as I knew he was single until…”  
  
Erwin put something on the table.  
  
My eyes widened as tears trailed down my cheeks more. My hand reached out and ran across the teal fabric and over the bell and hook. “… Where did you get this…?”  
  
“He gave it to me that night.” I was thankful they weren’t saying his name. It hurt to hear it. It hurt to think it. He hurt me. “…Eren… Lev-”  
  
“Don’t say his name. You can take this back. I don’t care anymore. I don’t… I didn’t deserve what he did to me. You didn’t deserve that shit either. No one does.”  
  
“Eren-”  
  
“No. No one deserves that. He has probably hurt more people that what we know. He’s probably cheated before and… I’m fine. It’s not like I can change how he feels. If he wants to run he can. It’s not like I knew-”  
  
“He was singing your song.”  
  
Stop it. No. He doesn’t care about me. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” He had left a painful tear in my heart and I don’t think I could ever forgive him for that. I didn’t want to hear any of this from the guy he had cheated on. I wanted to hear all this from him. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to hit him and then cry and hold him close. I wanted him to know what I been through.  
  
“It does. When he left you were the one he was thinking about.” I could see the pain in his eyes. “He has never left like this. He’s has always ran from me, but not like this. He left his collar behind.” Erwin took out Levi’s collar as if I needed proof. I believed him. That didn’t mean anything though. He was gone and this whole conversation was pointless.  
  
“I don’t care. If that was true he would have come back to me. He would have given me this not you. It doesn’t matter anymore. He is gone. Out of our lives. If he was here, I would still dream about him. What he did is unforgivable and-”  
  
“Shut the fuck up. You have no idea what he has been through.” Hanji growled from next to me staring down at the table. “Neither of you know him like I do. For all I care you two were the ones who ruined him. I understand I did too because I am the one who sent him to you, Eren, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have prevented this. Erwin, you are tying him back from being happy and he will never lov-”  
  
Erwin’s hands slammed down on the table as he glared at Hanji. “That’s not true! He loved me!”  
  
“He never did! Why do you think he kept running from you?! Why do you think he kept leaving you…? He never wanted to be with you. He was just too scared to leave. He’s relied on you for years. You ruined him, Erwin!”  
  
I didn’t want to hear any of this. It was Levi’s fault we were having this conversation. It was his fear that made us all hate each other. “Stop it. Stop it!” I slammed my hands on the table as tears filled my eyes. “I don’t care what his damn excuse was on leaving. He isn’t coming back. We have no idea where the fuck he is. So, this is all fucking pointless! He hurt us and there was no reason! If he would have never cheated in the first place I wouldn’t have been hurt and he would still be beside Erwin. This bickering is fucking pointless. He did what he fucking did and there is nothing we can do about it because…” I trailed off as my tears fell. I just wanted this to be alright. I wanted to move on and repair my heart. I didn’t even care anymore. “He’s gone.”  
  
“…Eren… he’ll come back… he always comes back.” Hanji whispered as she held me a little. I didn’t fucking care if he did come back. He broke me and I would never trust him again. Even if he promised to not be with anyone else I wouldn’t take it seriously. We didn’t know each other.  
“I don’t want him to.”  
  
“Eren… you love him!”  
  
“I did love him. That was eons ago though. I can’t say I love him how he is now. I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me. That’s how we’re strangers and we’re nothing but strangers. I never came close to loving him again. Now, please stop thinking I was the one that did this to him. He did it to himself. If he wants to run, let him. It’s our decision who we get our hearts broken by. We just decided to get our hearts broken by a bastard.” I got up and walked out of the restaurant without ordering anything. I haven’t been hungry lately. I haven’t been wanting to sleep. I haven’t been wanting to move. I want to say I came to terms with all of this, but I haven’t. I want him in my life. Now that I had the connection that has been all I want. I haven’t been able to look at my hands. Or hear that god awful song. I haven’t even been able to look at Armin in the face.  
  
I had let him break me.  
  
Where was he now?  
  
Who was he with?  
  
What was he doing?  
  
Questions invaded my mind. They didn’t need to be there. They shouldn’t be there. If he had broken me so badly it wouldn’t hurt this much. No. When glass breaks it’s clean. It’s painless. He tore me apart. He ripped out my heart cut it up and then stomped on it. He did every agonizing thing to it because I had let him. I had let him because our hands told our story even if our minds didn’t remember it. I shake myself out of my thoughts realizing I had been staring at the hands that had once held his. The ones I had clung to him with pleading how sorry I was. I shouldn’t have been sorry. That was our happy ending. We had died soldiers. We had died together. I wished we had died like that now. I wish there was a happy ending now. I don’t even know where he is though. I don’t even know if he’d ever come back. I don’t even know how he even felt about me. For all I know, I could have been nothing in his eyes. I knew that was wrong though. When he looked at me, he looked at me with passion. Big, gray, gorgeous, sparkling eyes that looked dull to anyone else had always stared at me like that. I saw the emotion underneath. I saw his amusement. I missed them. I missed his flawless pale skin. I missed his angled face. I missed his short structure. I missed his cold, calloused, hands. I missed his deep, rich voice. I missed his attitude and shit jokes. I missed his romance. I missed his care and compassion after he had brutally fucked me. I missed his sweet kisses. I missed holding him close for warmth when the castle was too cold for just a blanket. He was always way colder than me. I missed his cleanliness. I missed him. I missed the him back then that would never hurt me without a reason to. He had no reason this time. He was just selfish. He wanted everything that he couldn’t have so he lost everything. He had hurt me and he was continuing to.  
  
I cursed myself when I felt pity for him.  
  
I cursed myself that I felt loneliness because of him.  
  
I punched the movie theater’s doors when I walked in and stomped to my stool. I was glad there was no one there, but Jean. I had to get over him. That was for sure. “Hey, Jean?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“You with anyone?”  
  
“What’s with this all of a sudden?” I saw the worry in his face. He had seen the way I had come in and now he was seeing the dark side of me. He was seeing the me that wanted revenge on the whole damn world. I had to fall for the one guy that could break me to pieces by one action. Well, I could break him too. I didn’t have to be hung up over him. If he comes back he’ll seeing me around with some other guy. I was the one thing he couldn’t have. I would make him pay.  
  
“Jean, will you be with me?”  
  
His eyes widened.  
  
I waited in anticipation I shouldn’t feel.  
  
“Well… ummm… don’t we hate each other? Like I know we’re secret friends, but… this is a little sudden, don’t you think? I mean, I’m older than you. I can get in a lot of trouble for this and… Marco…” He was trying to get out of it but I wasn’t going to let him that easily.  
  
“Who’s Marco?” I asked playing dumb as I moved closer to him. I pulled my stool so I was sitting right in front of him. “Jean, I need to move on. I need to get this one damn bastard out of my head. I need… I don’t want to be alone… I don’t want to go back to having cold nights. I don’t want to cry anymore… I feel like… you’re the only one I can turn to…”  
  
His eyes widened and he pulled me in a hug. He rubbed my arm and sighed. I saw he was thinking and trying to be considerate for once. I could see that much in his eyes. “Eren… you don’t love me… you don’t care about me. I’m here for you. You know that. You don’t have to be alone. You’re not. You have Mikasa, Armin, and me. We’re still here. Don’t let some guy you didn’t even know break you like this. He’s not worth it.”  
  
“You know how you feel that certain connection with Marco? Like you’ve seen him before. Like you’ve touched him before. Like… Like you’ve been through everything before. That’s how I felt towards him. That’s how… I miss him…” I whispered holding his vest fabric tightly in one of my fists. I had no more tears left to cry. I had so much emptiness in my chest. It was heavy and I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t have the tears. I wanted to scream, but didn’t have the voice. I wanted to fight, but didn’t have the strength. I was broken.  
  
“Eren… you will feel that for someone else in your own time. Someone out there will make you so happy that you won’t even remember why you were sad now. You just need to have faith that destiny will bring them to you. You need to trust your judgment. One guy fucked you over, that doesn’t mean you should just lie around and cry. You learned from your mistakes.” Jean whispered softly as he kept rubbing my arm. He pressed my head to his shoulder and sighed. “You will make a wonderful boyfriend one day, don’t let your lover be a dick.”  
  
I nodded and leaned away from him. I turned to my register and started tapping at the screen when my next customer came. A light had come through those doors, and now he was gone. Completely and utterly gone. Despite Jean’s words, I didn’t feel much better. I wish I had taken his advice. I should have never fallen in love with Levi Ackerman.  
  
~~~  
  
-Levi-  
  
I got off the train and stared up at the sky. It was night now and I knew he was at home suffering. My chest felt tight and heavy. It felt empty. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t have the tears. I wanted to scream, but didn’t have the voice. I wanted to fight, but didn’t have the strength. I was lost. I didn’t know how to handle any of this. I run a hand through my hair and walked up an apartment building I had rented out long ago. I walked in and fell on the couch. I stared up at the ceiling and sighed. What was he thinking right now? Did he hate me? He had every right to. I had taken away the one thing that meant something between the present us. I… I had given that one thing to Erwin. It was probably fucking burned somewhere. It was probably gone forever. In a few years he would forget all about me just like how I would forget about him.  
  
It’s been three weeks. Three grueling weeks of hell. There was no sweet kisses. There was no passionate love making. There was nothing and that terrified me. That absolutely terrified me. I fucked up. I lost the past him and the present him all in one blow. Was he really that pissed at me to not even dream about me? I can’t go back and make this right. I would be going back on what I believed and… Erwin was there. Who’s to say I wouldn’t just wind up back with him? That happened most of the time. I didn’t want to be with him though.  
  
He was my rock.  
  
But Eren was my home.  
  
My fingers started to play a tone that wouldn’t be heard because this was a couch and not a piano. “Inside a world that someone sketched out, I don't want to hurt you, Remember me while it’s so vivid, Loneliness wraps around, widening infinitely, memories that laughed innocently pierce into me, I can't move, can't untie, can't move, can't untie, I can't move, I can't move.” I don’t remember when I started to cry or when I fell asleep that night. Life was hell.


	14. Stop

Chapter 14  
  
Six months. Six months he has been gone and honestly, I haven’t gotten any better. At all. What’s worse is… I live alone. Or I might as well. Armin lives here, but he’s been studying so hard I haven’t seen him recently. He’s probably in his room drowning in coffee addiction and books. Mikasa is only here in the evenings to crash on her bed. I haven’t talked to Hanji or Erwin either. Not that I want to talk to them. Honestly, life has been pretty boring. I still work at the movie theater with horseface and he finally introduced me to his freckled boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend. They got together and now they’ve been sickeningly cute together. Marco would always drop off lunch for him and they’d shove their throats down each other’s throats for five minutes. I don’t mind Marco. He’s nice. Jean doesn’t deserve him and he knows it too. As for me, I haven’t had one date. Not one kiss. Nothing. I’m still hung up about him.  
  
“Eren?”  
  
The blonde lives.  
  
“Yeah?” I asked. I was currently hanging upside down on the couch watching tv. I hoped the blood would rush to my head and kill me.  
  
“Umm… I don’t know how to put this, but…”  
  
Why was he beating around the bush? He knows I hate that. “Spit it out.”  
  
“Levi was here the last day of school.”  
  
He’s been hiding this from me for that long. Three months. Summer was now over and Mikasa and Armin were off to college. Armin would be starting in a week. “I don’t care.”  
  
“… He looked really bad, Eren. He wouldn’t look at me the whole time…”  
  
“Why the fuck do you care?”  
  
Armin saw he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me so he sighed and gave up. “What do you want for breakfast?”  
  
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me he was here sooner?” I snapped sitting up and glaring over at Armin. “Why would you keep that a secret from me?”  
  
“… I hadn’t meant to… It’s just I didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell you immediately because you seemed like you were going to punch him or something.”  
  
“He fucking deserves it after what he did to me!” I growled tears falling from my eyes. Tears that shouldn’t be there. He had torn me apart. He had ripped the one thing that meant something right off my neck. I didn’t even have it for a day. I didn’t even get to be with him for a day. He had come back. And he didn’t even bother to come to me. He didn’t come back for me. I grabbed my phone and rubbed at my eyes. “Fuck…” There was once where Hanji came to me at the movie theater and she gave me her number. I flipped open my phone and called her. As soon as she picked up I got out in a scratchy voice. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me he came back?!”  
  
“Shit.”  
  
That wasn’t her voice.  
  
That wasn’t her words.  
  
That was a male’s voice.  
  
It was him.  
  
“You’re a bastard! What the fuck were you thinking?!”  
  
“…” Silence. I was drowning in it. I was… breaking down all over again and he was about to hear it. Fine. If heartbreak is what he wants then I’ll give it to him.  
  
“Do you-”  
  
“Come to my place-”  
  
“Fuck you! If you want to say you’re sorry or whatever else you wanted to say you can come to me! I’m not playing these fucking games again! Fuck you, Levi!” I felt Armin pull me close to him and I instantly leaned against him and cried my phone pressed against my face. “…Why…?” It was broken. It was completely weak and barely over a whisper but I knew he heard me.  
  
“…” More silence before he sighed. “I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have given you that collar. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I forgot what it meant to have a collar. To give one. I… You weren’t ready and neither was I. Look, things are different now.”  
  
“How?! How the fuck are things different?! Because you fucking tore me apart?!” Armin’s grip around me tightened. I was glad he was there for me.  
  
“No. That’s not how it’s different. Do you know what a collar represents?”  
  
“Ownership or some fucked thing like that. Why the fuck does it matter?! What-”  
  
“It means everything!” He yelled for the first time in this conversation. It wasn’t a yell. It was broken and I realized… he was hurting too. “A collar means so much… it means your master wants to be with you forever. It means you will be joined. It means… one day your master wants you to be his and his alone. It’s so much more than ownership. It’s the reminder that you are loved. I shouldn’t have given you yours. I gave my collar back to Erwin. If you don’t believe me you can go ask him yourself. I had given that up. Who the fuck do you think I did that for?”  
  
I had felt that way when I wore his. He had felt that way when he had worn Erwin’s.  
  
He had given that up for me.  
  
“Eren… when I left him I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was thinking of you.”  
  
“Why didn’t you come back to me then?”  
  
“Would you have honestly believed me?”  
  
I probably wouldn’t have. I was a wreck. Armin held me that night for the first time in years and he honestly couldn’t even understand why I was like that. He couldn’t possibly understand because he didn’t see the Levi I saw. He didn’t see how strong he was. He didn’t see the tears. He didn’t see the pianist. He didn’t see the clean freak. He didn’t see how I saw him. And his words crush me. I could accept him back now, but how… how do I know our relationship won’t turn out like how Erwin’s did? “… Let me talk to Hanji…”  
  
“Eren…”  
  
“…Please, Levi…” It was broken. I was broken and I didn’t even notice when Mikasa walked in and sat down next to me. She held me too. She was there for me.  
  
“… Yeah. Sure.” I heard the phone rustle around and then a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear. A conversation I didn’t want to hear.  
  
“He wants to talk to you.” His voice had crumbled and I realized he was pretending to be strong for me, because he had no right to be broken, because this was all his fault and he knew it.  
  
“Levi, don’t give up on him. Stop torturing yourself. Your eyes are so puffy.”  
  
“Shut the fuck up. He can hear you. Take the goddamn phone.”  
  
“No, not until you apologize.”  
  
“I already have. Sorry doesn’t always fucking cut it, Hanji. I fucked up everything and I get that. Now talk to him. You can at least do that. You can-” His voiced cracked and I heard the phone being thrown and steps running up stairs. He was going to have a break down right now and I knew I would too. We always shared that pain.  
  
“…Hey, hun…”  
  
And then I realize, Hanji’s voice was the last thing I wanted to hear. My heart felt so heavy. “…Where are you?” I got out of Armin’s and Mikasa’s grip and walked to my room. I got in my closet and put on a fresh shirt and jeans.  
  
“Levi’s apartment.”  
  
“He still lives in the same one?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” I walk out and find Armin already grabbing the keys and hushing Mikasa. I hung up and followed him out the door.  
  
~~~  
  
-Levi-  
  
A break down didn’t come close to how I was feeling. I was smashing everything. I was creating the biggest mess only to clean it up and realize it was too clean and ruffled shit up again. He didn’t accept me back. He wouldn’t. I had prepared myself for that but it still came as a shock. I was still here throwing my shit around and then my eyes landed on it. A picture of Erwin and I. I snatched it and started to rip that up. “Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. This is all your fault. This is all your fault… This is all…” I went silent and cried in the middle of my floor. “Fuck… this is all my fault. When the fuck… did… I become like this?” I looked out my window and crawled over to it. I pressed my hand against it. “I wish you were here, mom… I wish I hadn’t fucking talked to him. Either of them. I wish-”  
  
There was a knock.  
  
Hanji walked in and frowned slightly. She walked over to me and held me close. “Hun, it’s okay… He doesn’t hate-”  
  
“He does.”  
  
“He’s coming over.”  
  
My eyes widened as I looked up at her in shock. “You’re lying. He was pissed at me.”  
  
“He doesn’t hate you though.”  
  
My heart fluttered and I felt like I had a chance to make this right. He was giving me a second chance to make this right. I got up and walked over to my closet. I grabbed my cleaning supplies and started to quickly clean up anything I could.  
  
~~~  
  
-Hanji-  
  
Now I know I’m the last one to write for this chapter, but there’s a reason. Levi is out at the moment because he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t write this ending in a proper way without breaking down again. You’ll understand at the end why, but for now, just know this was the best option for our progress. I know a lot of you are interested in Levi’s feelings and I will try to write them as best I can, but I’m not him. So, I could be wrong. He refuses to write any of these chapters. Writing this is what kills him. So, please understand why he couldn’t write this next part. Eren never showed up.  
  
~~~  
  
I watched him clean. I watched him sit on the couch looking at the clock. One minute turned into five, five minutes turned into half an hour, half an hour turned into an hour, an hour turned into two. I sat next to him and watched him fall part. Crumble in my arms. “Le-”  
  
“He’s not coming.” He got up and walked to the piano room and I knew what was coming. A song that would rip him apart in the process. I follow after him and sat in my chair. I was there for him. The melody started out beautiful, but he had never played it before.  
  
“There’s a dream my heart just can’t leave behind, like a flower holding on for life inside my mind. Time and again I push it away from me, but it finds a way back in sleep. My beating heart drowns my thoughts away, tearing apart this dreamer’s way, but still I know deep inside my soul that I never can let go.” The melody changed to a beautiful cruelty and it tore my heart out to see him actually cry. To see him slamming down on the keys like never before. He was truly broken. “How can anybody live in a world that’s so cruel and beautiful? Always asking why we’re really here. Losing all of our control to our fears. Some of us are strong, some of us our weak, but still we seek, for a new day that can offer more. Do we really know the world we’re fighting for?” He stopped playing all of a sudden and got up. He closed the piano and walked away from it. He fell to his knees when he had nothing left to hold onto.  
  
“Levi!” I ran after him and held him close.  
  
“… The piano isn’t helping.”  
  
That was not good.  
  
Levi was always able to calm himself through singing and playing.  
  
His mother taught him that. Levi never went against his mother. This was breaking him more than I thought.  
  
Eren… how could you?  
  
He started sobbing in my chest as he wailed a song I had never heard before. “What if I could turn into a melody? And traverse the world at the speed of sound? I’d go all the way around like a song of hope profound. For the ones who need answers to distant pleas. How could…” He coughed and choked and clung. I was shaking. He needed answers. He didn’t even know. He didn’t even know he was loved by Eren. I knew it but I could do nothing. I couldn’t prove it. All we had was their dreams. The dreams that didn’t matter anymore.  
  
“Shhhh…” I rocked and petted his hair. I wanted him to stop crying. I wanted him to stop singing that horrible song. I wanted him to be cocky and confident again. This was not my Levi. “Shhhh… stop. Stop. Stop… please.”  
  
“How could anybody live in a world that’s so cruel and beautiful? Always asking why we’re really here. Losing all of our control to our fears! Some of us are strong, some of us are weak, but still we seek, for a new day that can offer more. Do we really know the world we’re fighting for…?!” He was breaking and shaking. I could feel his hollowness. Eren had meant something. Eren was his light and now that light was gone. Would Levi ever be the same? He went silent and simply cried. Cried in front of me. He didn’t even care that his face was pressed into my breasts or that his face was a mess or that he was so limp. “Levi…” I didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want my arms around him right now. He didn’t want me to be here for him. He wanted Eren. He had come back for him and Eren was turning away from him.  
  
And who could really blame him?  
  
I gathered Levi up in my arms and walked him back upstairs. I sat him on his bed and he plopped over lifelessly. His eyes were open but they weren’t there. I changed his clothes and he never resisted. I tucked him in and kissed his forehead good night. He didn’t say a word, didn’t even move a muscle. I walked out and closed the door.  
Levi would never be the same.


	15. Welcome Back

Chapter 15  
  
“Our names won’t be remembered if we die like trampled flowers. I refuse to be forgotten, written off as less than worthless.” I whispered. My eyes were closed and I couldn’t hear anything. I couldn’t see anything, so maybe my eyes weren’t closed? There was voices, but none I wanted to hear. “Scream and cry, but none will hear you. Plead and beg but none will help you. You no longer live as cattle. Will you rise and join the battle?”  
  
The battle of our lives. We had fought heroically up until our last breath. I remembered him so clearly now. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t with him now. Where are you Levi?  
  
 _“Oi, brat, stop fucking up my papers. I had them in a nice neat order.” Levi had chuckled. He was sitting in his office chair in the middle of the night, a lantern near him so he could still read and write his papers._  
  
 _“Maybe you should pay more attention to me then and a little less attention on work.” I grumbled wrapping my arms around him from behind. I had been coloring on the floor until a minute ago when I got lonely._  
  
 _“Maybe you should just be a good solider and color me a pretty picture instead of fucking up my goddamn work that needs to be done by the morning.”_  
  
 _“You could have gotten it done earlier.”_  
  
 _“How could I when I was too busy giving you attention then?” He laughed and turned to me pulling me down into his lap. “Will this do?” He asked as he turned in his chair back to the papers working around me. I was in his lap. That’s all that mattered. He was warm._  
  
“There are beings that live off our fears, and their words are like knives as they play with our lives. They’ll try to control you as if they own you. Will you let them steal your freedom? Channel the anger swelling inside you, fighting the boundary till you break through. Deep in your soul there’s no hesitation, so make yourself the one they all fear. There is a wild fire inside you burning desire you can’t extinguish.” I’m cold, but yet so warm. Are those arms around me? I can’t tell from the blackness. What’s happening? Why aren’t I with Levi? Wasn’t I going to his house? Wasn’t I going to make everything better between us because that fucking string Armin had told me about was still tightly holding us together? Tears spilled down my cheeks, but somehow I couldn’t feel them. Why was I tied to him in the first place?  
  
That’s right, there was desire.  
  
 _I cried out as he slid in me the shackles around my wrists keeping me bound to my bed. I couldn’t escape him. I didn’t want to. He was fucking me without any mercy and I loved it. He was treating me like the animal I knew I was. Like the titan I was. I had always wanted him and he had always wanted me. All it took was a little convincing to get him to do this. To convince him that all he needed was me to get him through the day. Whatever he needed I would gladly give to him. We kissed. We sucked. We screamed. We did everything to express how we felt about each other even though we could never fully express our feelings._  
  
 _They were just too deep._  
  
 _It turned out to be so much more than that in the end. It turned out to be us giving up to be with each other. We had went humanity even though it was our goal in life. We became far more than desire. Far more than love. We had become one. He had never let me leave his side and I never let him leave my side._  
  
 _I was withering on the bed as he continued to take me, making me his. When he finally came and fell beside me, us both sticky and panting, he nuzzled me and smiled. “I love you.”_  
  
 _It was the first time he had ever said it to me._  
  
“Your crimson arrow rips through the twilight. This is the moment for war.” Am I sinking or rising? I don’t get what’s happening. Why do I feel so heavy yet so light? I try to stretch out my arm, but find I can’t. Why is that?  
Twilight was always such a pretty time. It was when the sun was disappearing and Levi could finally relax. The troops were in their beds safely and we were having our fun.  
  
 _“You little shit! When did you get so good at this game?” Levi chuckled finding no other moves on our checker board._  
  
 _“I had a nice heichou who taught me.” I got out sheepishly while scratching at my cheek. We were on his bed playing a fun little game. He need this time more than any of us. He needed to sleep, but he also needed to relax and have some fun too. I was more than happy to oblige._  
  
 _Levi rolled his eyes as he set the board to the side and tackled me down on the bed. “You’re too perfect, Eren. You know that right?” He petted my hair softly and I sighed in relief. “I love you.”_  
  
 _Those three words would never get old to me. He was just so perfect. So sweet. So amazing. I never got sick of him. Even when we had fought it never lasted long. We couldn’t stay mad at each other. Nothing could keep us away._  
  
What had happened to those times? I missed the so much. Why wasn’t he with me now? When I felt so alone. I was alone. Nothing felt right. I was cold and alone and the dark was getting darker. Why was that? “They are the prey and we are the hunters. They are the prey and we are the hunters. They are the prey and we are the hunters. Channel the anger swelling inside you,”  
  
 _“Fuck you! You never gave a damn about me and you never will!” I hissed glaring down at him as he stood up from the bed and glared at me._  
  
 _“So fucking sorry I can’t give you everything you want, but that’s fucking life! I’m so sorry that your friends died today, but get the fuck over it and move on! In case you haven’t noticed this is war, Eren! All my fucking friends died too and you don’t hear me bitching about it!”_  
  
 _“Like hell I don’t! If you cared about me at all you would let me grieve! They died to protect me so it is ultimately my fault! Shut the fuck up! You will never understand these feelings!”_  
  
 _“Never understand those feelings?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?! The decisions I make everyday changes everything! Everyone follows my command because I’m the leader while guess fucking what? That means everyone has died because of me! So shut the fuck up already! We can’t bring back the dead, Eren!”_  
  
 _I threw the first punch. He threw the first kick. I bit him first. He kneed me first. We were rolling on the ground beating the shit out of each other, in every way possible. Levi gave the first kiss. I gave the first hug. Levi let his tears fall and allowed mine to as well. We were stuck in this agony._  
  
“Fighting the boundary till you break through. Deep in your soul there’s no hesitation. So make yourself the one they all fear.” Why was I singing this song? This wasn’t our song. Why couldn’t I remember the words of our song, but could remember the words of this one? This song was my alone song. This song was the song I sang by myself when I was cleaning the castle or on the field without Levi. This song drove me to be better. To be a person that could stand beside Levi. Why wasn’t I with him now? Why was I crying? Why was I in so much pain? I don’t understand this. Why wasn’t Armin driving me to his house now?  
  
Armin.  
  
Where was he? Was he okay? I looked around for my friend, but I could see nothing. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Nothing but the song. “There is a wild fire inside you burning desire you can’t extinguish. Your crimson arrow rips through the twilight.” Wait, what happened when I finished this song? “This is the moment… ohhhh…”  
Red splattered.  
  
My eyes widened and all the light flashed through my eyes. My breath came to me and I looked around in confusion. The light made my eyes squint. I tried to move but couldn’t.  
“Eren-.” A man said above me and I tried to see his profile, but found I couldn’t make out anything but black figures. My eyes got heavy and I fell back into the black. Where was I…?  
  
I was so confused and I couldn’t understand anything. My head hurt.  
  
Why wasn’t Levi here?  
  
Where was he?  
  
What was he doing?  
  
Was he feeling the same thing I was?  
  
Fuck, was I feeling this way because he was?  
  
Who really starts the pain?  
  
Why am I thinking when I have to get out of here?  
  
I have to make this right.  
  
I have to get him back.  
  
Before he goes back to Erwin.  
  
Why can’t I move?  
  
I feel like I’m suffocating.  
  
Why am I feeling so light headed all of a sudden?  
  
“Song for the reluctant heroes.”  
  
What’s this song?  
  
“Oh, give me your strength.”  
  
It wasn’t my voice.  
  
Where was it coming from?  
  
It sounded like,  
  
“Our life is so short.”  
  
Levi?  
  
“Song for the reluctant heroes. I wanna be brave like you.”  
  
I had to find him.  
  
Where was he?  
  
I was frantically swimming in the blackness to where I heard him. Please don’t be gone.  
  
“So you can’t fly. If you never try. You told me, oh, long ago, but you left the wall. Outside the gate. So, more than ever it’s real…” His voice cracked and then it was gone.  
  
Don’t go.  
  
Where are you?  
  
I was so close to finding you.  
  
Levi!  
  
Don’t you dare leave me!  
  
Why would you leave me?!  
  
Please…  
  
I don’t care that you hurt me.  
  
“I’m sorry, Eren. I’m so sorry. I should have never hurt you like that. I should have never… You’ve been in the hospital for three weeks now… please just wake up already. You’ve already been in and out of consciousness for so long. I just want you back. I don’t even care if you are still pissed at me. Don’t… Don’t like this.”  
  
Die?  
  
Why would I be…?  
  
 _“I’ll be there in five minutes.” I walk out and find Armin already grabbing the keys and hushing Mikasa. I hung up and followed him out the door. We got in Armin’s car and started to ride down to Levi’s. I was anxiously trying to find the words to say. Trying to understand him when I saw flashing lights. I heard Armin’s gasp as he tried to swerve out of the way, but it was too late. The driver had already hit us. The air bag exploded and Armin and reached over to stop it from crushing me. I heard the windshield shatter. Don’t you find it ironic how a wind shield was the reason I was in the hospital bed?_  
  
Wait, Armin.  
  
Armin had protected me.  
  
How is he?  
  
Is he okay?  
  
Is he…?  
  
My eyes opened again and I sat up. My head was pounding.  
  
“Oi, don’t push yourself.” Levi said softly next to me as he coaxed me back down. I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him down glaring up at him.  
  
“Where is Armin? How is he?”  
  
“He’s a little bruised, but the impact mostly was on your side and you had protected him the minute he tried to protect you. He’s fine though. He was released days ago. He’s been here ever since. When I found out I had rushed over here and made him go get something to eat. He should be back soon.”  
  
He was fine.  
  
I sighed and laid back keeping Levi close.


	16. Erwin's New Pet

Chapter 16  
  
I sipped from the water Levi had given me. This was awkward. Six months I hadn’t seen him and now he was here trying to make up for it. I felt angry at him, but then I would look over and see the guilt in his eyes. He blamed himself for this. In a way it was his fault. If he had never took away the collar this would have never happened. “Fuck you.”  
“…” He looked to the side and pushed the tray towards me. “Eat.”  
  
“Fuck you!” Tears trailed down my cheek as I slammed my cup down on the table that was in front of me. Water splashed onto my arm, but I didn’t care. I needed to get this anger out. We needed to fight. We need to yell at each other until everything was better. “Why?! Why the hell would you do this to me?! Were you just wanting to break me from the start?! The fuck?! Levi!”  
  
“No… No that wasn’t the plan… fuck, kid… I know… it sucks… but… you don’t understand the situation I was-”  
  
“No. I do. I fucking get it, Levi. You were fucking Erwin and thought you could just leave that behind and come do the exact same thing with me. Then you realized how you needed Erwin. So you choose him over me. I get it. You just wanted his dick in you too badly.” What I was about to say was a dick move, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You’re just filthy that way. You’ll take whatever you can get that doesn’t have strings attached. You’ve always been that way. Even in our dreams.”  
  
“Hey! You know that’s not fucking true! I really did care about you then! I care about you now! I get I fucked up, okay? I get that more than you know. I’m sorry this all happened to you.” He was looking everywhere but at me and that just seemed to irritate me more.  
  
“Levi, you _broke_ me.” It was true, but he was also the reason I was here now. I was being a little unfair to him. He was trying his hardest to pick up my broken pieces and try to figure out how to put them together. “How can I trust you after that…? I didn’t even get to have you for a day…” The tears slipped down my cheeks and I had to look away from him and out the window so he wouldn’t see them. I didn’t want him to see how attached I got to him in the short time we’ve known each other.  
  
“You can’t… If you want me to leave, just tell me and I will.” Leave what? The hospital? The town? My life? My body trembled as I looked back at him.  
  
One look was all it took and I knew.  
  
He didn’t want to go.  
  
Tears fell down his cheeks as his feet came up to the chair he was sitting on so his legs could be pressed against his torso. His arms wrapped around his legs and his face was pressed against his legs. He was sobbing silently. I had seen him do this in my dreams. I sit up and reach out my hand to him only to retract it. I looked to the side and turn away from him. I couldn’t let myself get sucked in by him again. He would just hurt me again.  
  
A knock came before I heard the door open. I looked over to see a face I didn’t know I desperately wanted to see. “Armin…”  
  
He took a glance at Levi before putting his hand on the doorknob. “Is this a bad time?”  
  
Levi stood up and kept his head low so neither of us could see his expression. I could hear it in his voice though. “No. I was just leaving.”  
  
My eyes widened as I shook my head, but his back was already to me. He couldn’t see me and my voice wouldn’t come out.  
  
Don’t go.  
  
We have to settle this.  
  
Please, don’t leave.  
  
Not again.  
  
“Don’t leave me!”  
  
He stopped and looked back at me. “My place is always open for you.”  
  
“Between three and ten.” I smiled at him. It was a feeble smile, but the tension in the room went away with it. I sighed and rested back against the bed. He nodded and winked at me before walking out.  
  
Armin smiled and walked over to me. He sat in the seat Levi had been occupying a few minutes before. He took my hand and nuzzled it. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear your voice again…”  
  
“I didn’t think I’d get to hear yours.” I whispered as I held his hand tightly. I remove the table from my bed and turn so I’m facing him but not pulling on any of the wires that were hooked to me. I was in pain, but I wanted to see my friend more. I could feel where the bandages were tightly around me. Around my torso, head, and arms. Though I could tell my arms were just minor. I sighed and stared into light blue. “Ar-”  
  
His phone went off. He looked down at it to quickly silence it only to blush and put it away quickly. He had a secret and now I was going to find out what that secret was.  
  
“So… was that your girlfriend?”  
  
“What are you talking about, Eren?”  
  
“Oh, come on, Armin, you blushed and put it away quickly. It was obvious that it was someone you liked. What? Go out on a date while I was knocked out so I wouldn’t interfere?” I was teasing him. I didn’t care because I just wanted him to be happy. Armin deserved it after all he has been through.  
  
“…We’re just talking…” Armin blushed more as he kicked his feet. The second time his phone went off I quickly snatched it from his hands and read the text. I was disappointed that Armin hadn’t put him under his name, or at least I hope not. I copy and pasted the word in google so that it would say it for me. The name read Commander. I copied and pasted the text as well wanting to know what they were talking about. I had to learn how to read and write. I knew it annoyed Armin because he couldn’t just send me a quick text to inform me of whatever he needed to tell me. He had to call because my phone wasn’t as advanced as his.  
  
 _I saw you walking into a hospital. You okay? If it’s something serious then by all means ignore my last text and focus on what you are doing._  
  
“Who’s the Commander?”  
  
“He’s no one.” Armin mumbled as he snatched his phone back. “You can’t tell anyone, Eren. Especially not Mikasa.”  
  
“I wasn’t going to… Where is she anyways?”  
  
“She had to work. She’ll be here before visiting hours are up.”  
  
I nodded and sighed looking up at the ceiling. “So, when do I meet him?”  
  
Armin blushed as he crossed his arms. “Whenever you can go on a date with me and him with you and Levi.”  
  
That was a dick move considering Levi and I wasn’t probably going to get back together ever. I couldn’t say that though. He had invited me to his apartment. Which meant… I was welcomed back into his heart. I looked at Armin to see he was texting the “Commander”. “Should I be getting jealous? Will I lose you to him?” Again, I was teasing him.  
  
“We’ve had dreams.”  
  
My eyes widened. So far that wasn’t necessarily a good sign. “What’s he like?”  
  
“Smart, handsome, tall. I met him at a coffee shop. It was packed and I was sitting there studying my Anatomy homework when he asked to sit with me since there was no other seat open. He noticed I was studying and started a conversation with me. He’s so sweet, Eren. I hope you like him. He really is so good to me. I mean… he wakes me up each morning with sweet texts and I think he’s crazy for me.” I saw the light in Armin’s eyes and I knew I had to meet this guy if Armin allowed himself to stop working himself to death for him.  
  
“What’s his name?”  
  
A text came and Armin paled. “…He’s no one.” He put his phone away and looked away.  
  
“…Armin?” What had just happened?  
  
“…Who was that bastard that Levi left you for?”  
  
Why was he bringing this up? Unless… “Erwin.”  
  
Armin looked down and chuckled. “Looks like you two have already met.”  
  
My eyes widened and my heart raced.  
  
No.  
  
Impossible.  
  
That bastard didn’t deserve Armin. He was just going to use him as a fuck buddy just like he used Levi and that would crush Armin. This was all so impossible.  
  
“I’m sorry, Eren. I swear I didn’t know.”  
  
“I didn’t say you did… I’m just… in shock… I mean… what are the odds my ex’s ex would wind up with you?” I hated it. I thought I’d finally get them both out of my life and now even if I never forgive Levi and accept him back I’ll still have Erwin showing off his new pet, who was my best friend, practically my brother. It made me sick. I know he would want to get revenge on me for making Levi leave him but fucking my best friend? Really? Low blow, Erwin. “…You need to leave him before he leaves you. He’s just using you.”  
  
“He doesn’t know I’m your best friend. He doesn’t even know I know you. I swear he’s not using me to get to you.” Armin defended and I had to believe him. Armin was never wrong about these things. I was still worried though because I knew Erwin’s true side.  
  
“Are you sure he’s not just using you for your body?”  
  
“I’m positive, Eren. I’ve offered and he has declined. He said he had just been through a break up and was trying to move on. We really clicked and I think I won’t end up like the way Levi did.”  
  
That stung. I was part of the reason Levi ended up the way he did. If I hadn’t been around then Levi would have still been with Erwin and they would have still been happy as ever. I fucked it up for him but there was nothing I could do now. Expect answer the one question I knew Armin was dying to ask.  
Was I going to forgive him?  
  
~~~  
  
-Levi-  
  
I walked into the Chain and sat down at the bar. It was before opening hours which I was glad for. Erwin and Hanji were here. “Who the fuck have you been texting these past few months?”  
  
“No one you know.” Erwin shrugged. He was seriously getting under my skin. I don’t even know why I’m here. He’s the fucking moron that drove me to my breaking point. And now, six months after he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, he was texting this other guy. They weren’t together. They were just friends. Bullshit. We were “just friends”. I felt bad for the guy he was texting. He would get dumped in a couple months when Erwin got bored with him. He said it was no one I knew, but that just made it only a little less painful. We had this awkward friendship now and I was now watching him fall for someone else.  
  
Yes fall.  
  
He just loved me.  
  
He was falling for another.  
  
Head over heels in love.  
  
I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”  
  
“Aw, does it bother you?” He was fucking with me and I wanted to punch him for it. Had I really been that easy to move on from? Two can play at that game.  
  
“Not in the slightest. Eren is just waiting to be released so he could be with me.” The hospital visit didn’t go as planned. I was supposed to leave before he woke up, but he woke up before Armin could come back. I hadn’t prepared myself to see him like that and I ended up the same way. We shared pain. I could tell he was hurting physically. I wish he didn’t.  
  
“That so?” What was with that uncaring attitude? Did he ever care at all?  
  
I get up and slide in my stool roughly before going into the back where my office was. I owned half of the club so I had to worry about half of the bills. I slam and lock my office door as I sat down in my chair. “Fuck you then…” I should have left Erwin the minute Eren came into my life. What a fucking waste of time that was considering the bastard probably didn’t even care about me.  
  
Or he was just concealing his emotions well, unlike me.  
  
There was a knock at the door and I swore if it was him to show off his crush more I was going to take the scissors off my desk and throw them at him. I didn’t get that chance though. It was Hanji. What the hell did that nutcase want?  
  
“Levi?” She whispered through my door.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Can I come in?”  
  
I sighed and got up. I couldn’t say no to her. She was like a sister I never wanted, but got anyways. I couldn’t just shake her off. I open my door and stalk back to my desk. I watched her slip in and sit down in front of me. She was wearing a black corset and a red skirt with fish nets. I on the other hand had went home and put on my makeup, dressed in a black vest and black pants. It was a casual day for me at the Chain. “What?”  
  
“… Erwin’s new thing…”  
  
“What about it?” I really didn’t want to talk about it. Not with her. I didn’t want to show how much I actually cared.  
  
“It’s Armin.”  
  
My eyes widened. Oh, fuck. I was replaced… by Eren’s best friend. He was going to flip when he finds out. He was going to come down, kill him, then kill me. He’d never forgive me for this.


	17. Can you teach me to read?

Chapter 17  
  
It’s been a week since I’ve been discharged and was now back at work with horseface. He and Marco were shoving their tongues down each other’s throats in the bathroom at the moment. Or going farther. I don’t know. I was too busy dealing with a drawing right now. I sighed as I spaced out and let the lines work themselves. When I snapped out of it I wanted to rip the page up into shreds. Eyes I knew far too well stared up at me. I haven’t talked to him since that day in the hospital I don’t plan on it ever again. I get up off my stool since there was no one here and walked to the male’s bathroom. I silently pray that they aren’t fucking and open the door. “Hey, It’s three. I’m leaving.”  
  
“F-Fuck…” Jean hissed before walking out of a stall looking like a windstorm had blown through there. I tried not to picture what they were doing. I walk away from the bathroom and walk outside to wait for Mikasa and Armin. Luckily I didn’t have to wait long.  
  
I got in the back and curled up while also putting on my seatbelt because coffee addict Armin wasn’t going to allow me to get home if I wasn’t properly following all the safety protocols. He has yet to tell me more about his and Erwin’s relationship. Mikasa doesn’t know anything about them. I haven’t told her and neither has Armin. I guess we’re both horrible people.  
  
“Hey, Eren, my friend is having a party at the college I’m attending to. Want to come? It’s for his friend’s birthday.” Armin looks back at me hopefully and I knew in his eyes that he was talking about Erwin. Which meant there was a possibility that he would be there too. I didn’t really want to be near him until I figured out all my thoughts but it wouldn’t look right to Mikasa if I turned him down. He probably did this on purpose.  
  
“Oh… ummm… sure… When is it?”  
  
“Tonight.”  
  
Shit. I didn’t have time to come up with some other plans to ditch Armin. “Okay…”  
  
~~~  
  
We got to the apartment and went up the elevator. I walked in and went straight to my room. I wanted to sleep so I didn’t have to worry about him. Too bad my dreams were filled with him.  
  
 _I kissed him as we laughed in the kiss. I was even getting some chuckles out of him. He was so cute like that. I was always happy to get him to be more relaxed._  
  
 _“You’re so bubbly. Is it because I have a surprise for you?” He had asked as he leaned away and pressed a hand to my cheek. He was sitting at the edge of his bed while I was draped across his lap my hand reaching out and wrapping around the back of his neck._  
  
 _“Yes, corporal. I’d very much like my surprise now.” I whispered sounding a little too submissive in my opinion._  
  
 _“Get off of me and I’ll get it.”_  
  
 _I sit up and sit cross legged as I watched him get up and smooth out my shirt over his body. It reached his mid-thigh and I was very proud of that. He walked to his desk that was across the room and come back with a box._  
  
 _“Eren,” He got down on one knee and, fuck, my heart started beating quickly._  
  
 _What was in the box?_  
  
 _Was he about to do what I thought he was about to do?_  
  
 _“Y-Yes, corporal?”_  
  
 _“We’ve been dating for a long time now and now I want to offer you the closest thing to my heart that I have to offer.” He opened the box and inside was leather and attached to that leather was the wings of freedom. My heart shattered. It was hers. It was Petra’s._  
  
 _“N-No, I can’t accept this…”_  
  
 _“I love you, Eren. I want you to have my heart.”_  
  
 _He had given her his heart. They were supposed to get married after the expedition but I had killed her. My hand shook as I push it to him. “… N-No… I can’t…”_  
  
 _“Eren, what happened to them was just as much my fault as yours. We couldn’t have possibly known the outcome…Please… accept me.”_  
  
 _I stared down at him and nodded. I held the patch to my chest and smiled. “I won’t let you down, corporal.” I slid down so I was level with him and I kissed him softly. “Put it on me?”_  
  
 _Levi took it back and kissed me as he tied it in the back. “I love you. I belong to you, Eren. Now and forever.” Forever wasn’t long._  
  
I woke up to Armin shaking me. “It’s time to go. I want to be on time.” Funny, because I wanted to be late as possible. I got up and changed quickly into a lose shirt and pants before looking at Armin.  
  
“Is he going to be there?”  
  
“Who?”  
  
I was going to punch him one day. “My delightful ex.”  
  
“Mike is his friend too… Please, Eren. I won’t know anyone there but Erwin and I don’t want to be left alone…”  
  
I should say fuck off. I should say no and go back to bed, but somehow that wasn’t comforting either. I may as well go and tell him off so I never have to speak to him again. I felt the leather against my neck though and my hand went up to touch it. Nothing except smooth skin. I sighed and nodded. “Let’s go then.” I didn’t want to.  
Armin hugged me and then grabbed my hand and walked me to the front door.  
  
“Don’t let Eren drink too much, Armin.” Mikasa called from the couch.  
  
I was going to punch her too.  
  
“I won’t, Mikasa. We’ll both be staying sober.” Armin coaxed before he grabbed the keys and lead me down the elevator and to the parking lot. I sighed as I got in Armin’s car. This was going to suck. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Levi especially after that dream. Like hell I was going to forgive him for what he did to me. Six months I was brokenhearted and unable to move on as he was god knows where doing god knows what with god knows who. He would be lucky I didn’t punch him as soon as I see him.  
  
“Did you invite me because Levi knew you knew me and asked you to?”  
  
“No. Levi has no idea you’re attending. Besides, this isn’t about him tonight. I want you to get to know Erwin. I want… you to possibly… accept him as my boyfriend?”  
  
I choked on air. My best friend wanted to be with that fucking bastard who ripped Levi from me all because he collar meant the tiniest bit more than mine did. “Fuck him, Armin. I can’t forgive him after what he did.” He didn’t do shit though. Levi did. I just didn’t want to make Levi the bad guy in this. Why the hell was I defending him in the first place?  
  
“Eren, you know Erwin wasn’t the one responsible. He was just as broken as you were, if not more.” Armin defended his lover and I wanted to cry because Armin always was on my side. Was I being replaced again by Erwin? I wanted to punch his face in.  
  
“I don’t care who’s to blame. He was still involved and if it wasn’t for him Levi would have been mine.” I got out stubbornly because I couldn’t see it any other way. I didn’t want Levi to seem like the bad guy because in my dreams he was always good, caring, and kind hearted with a rough exterior. I loved him then and, now, I was afraid I still did.  
  
“…Eren… Levi was Erwin’s first… It wasn’t his fault…” Armin whispered as he looked down before starting the car. “Seatbelt.” He watched me put it on before he did his own and pulled out of the drive way. I was getting nervous now that we were moving.  
  
“Look, I get it. You don’t understand how much I don’t want to get it. I hate what he did. I hate how he’s different and I don’t understand why. How the fuck did the war make him better? I don’t get it… I… I don’t want to talk to him. Ever.” That pained me.  
  
Armin sighed and the rest of the way was quiet.  
  
Erwin’s place was huge. I could tell it was Erwin’s because Armin walked in without even knocking. They must have really gotten close if Armin was this comfortable with him. He took off his shoes in the entry way and I did too. We were the last ones to the party. Armin walked to a wall that had a bunch of hooks. Each either contained keys or other random objects that could hang. On two were collars. Armin grabbed the one that was obviously his. It was gray with a name tag with a hook. I tried not to think about what they’ve done or how Armin’s eyes lit up when he slid on the leather. I reach up only to put my hand back down.  
  
“That one is yours if you choose to wear. Erwin wants it out of his house.” Armin gestured to the other one and I shook my head. It was too painful. I couldn’t slid it on if he wasn’t the one putting it on me. I grab it and stuff it in my pocket before following Armin to where Erwin was sitting. I sat down on the couch awkwardly feeling like I really didn’t belong. Especially when Armin choose to sit down on the ground.  
  
“There’s plenty of room.” I said to him as I patted the seat next to me.  
  
Instead of getting up, Armin looked over at Erwin and the blonde nodded giving him a piece of candy. Armin smiled and took it with his mouth before getting up and sitting down next to me smiling happily at me. That’s when I realized my friend wasn’t as innocent as I thought he was. He was growing up and I was being left behind. I looked down trying not to bring down the mood in the party but feeling out of place. Everyone here was either comfortable around Erwin or they had their own masters to please while being here. I was alone. Before I could stop myself, my eyes were already scanning the room. I saw him outside leaning against the deck drinking some wine from a glass. He didn’t look like he had come willingly.  
  
“So, Eren, I hope you’re okay with this arrangement.”  
  
“Hmmm?” I asked looking back at him as I tilted my head.  
  
“Armin and I.”  
  
“Oh, well… I mean, I guess. You know how it is. You hurt him and I’ll hurt you. That sort of thing. I won’t forgive you if you hurt him and I won’t let you be with him again.”  
  
“Understood.”  
  
“Erwin, you don’t have to ag-” Armin piped up next to me but Erwin held up his hand to silence him. It sort of irked me how Armin listened to him.  
  
“It’s fine. I expected it after what happened. He should be a little bit suspicious.”  
  
“I am… especially since you’ve already given him a collar…”  
  
“I wanted to give it to him. Eren… you don’t understand. I was a mess before he came along a-”  
  
“Save it. Fucking save it.” I hissed as I got up. “You ruined him.” Everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at me. Everyone knew who I was talking about.  
  
“Hey, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Erwin said glaring at me.  
  
“I asked you to do one thing, Eren. One thing I’ve asked you to do and you couldn’t even try! You suck.” Armin pushed me and ran upstairs.  
  
I turned around and ran from the situation. I had for outside to breath only to hold my breath. He was there looking at me with a shocked expression. “Shut the fuck up.” I hissed as I wiped at my eyes. I grabbed his drink from him and downed it.  
  
“Oi.” He tried to grab it back, but a waiter came up beside us.  
  
“Here’s our menu on drinks. What would you like?”  
  
I paused and looked at the menu. It was all foreign. I didn’t recognize any of these words. “Umm… Ummmm…” I was too frustrated to deal with my illiteracy right now.  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
Levi stared at me and I could tell he knew I was struggling. He looked at the menu and pointed to one of the words I didn’t know and the waiter got the bottle from his cart and poured it in my glass. “… You can’t read.”  
  
“So, what?” I hissed.  
  
“…No wonder you haven’t replied to my texts.”  
  
That wasn’t the only reason. “How the hell did you get my number?”  
  
“A little mushroom told me it.”  
  
Armin. Of course. He probably set this whole thing up. I rolled my eyes and started to down my second glass when Levi stopped me. “It’s better if you savor the taste.” I took small sips as I rested against the banister. We sat there like that for a while before I got out my phone. “What did they say?” Where was my hatred? Wasn’t I saying in the car how I would never talk to him again? He seemed so natural to be around, I was so comfortable with him. That’s probably why it was so easy for me to start talking again.  
  
Levi took my phone and started reading his own texts. There was only two. One when I got discharged and one from a couple days ago. “The first text said, hey, this is Levi. I know you probably don’t give two shits about me, but I’m worried about you. If you would please notify me of your health that would gladly be appreciated. If not I’ll just be suffering. I want to apologize again for what happened six months ago. I treated a lot of people like shit at the time and I left because I didn’t feel like I could make it any better. I felt like I had just lost my perfect future. And no, kid, that perfect future wasn’t with Erwin. It was with you. I thought I lost you and I couldn’t handle seeing you fall in love with someone else. So, I left to get my shit together. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you all this in person… I was going to that night you got in the accident, but I guess the world fucking hates me for what I did to you and doesn’t want me anywhere near you. Anyways, you know where to find me. Anywhere between three and ten is fine. Any time is fine. I don’t care. Just…” He trailed off and looked away for a second before turning back to the text. “Just talk to me. Give me something I can go on besides our dreams, because those don’t tell me shit. I want to know how you are and if I even have a chance with you. Damn, I’ve rambled on for too long. I’m going to end this desperate ass message. Text me soon.” He glanced at me and I pressed him to read the second one. “The second one said, this won’t be as long as the last one. I haven’t heard from you. How are you? Give me a call, please.”  
  
I wanted to cry. All this time I’ve been hating him for being heartless and here he was worried about me. I couldn’t do anything about it because I couldn’t read. He gave me back my phone and we stood there awkwardly again. “Umm… could you… maybe… teach me to read?”  
  
He looked over at me in shock before he nodded. “Yeah, kid, anything for you.”


	18. Boyfriends...?

Chapter 18  
  
-Eren-  
  
I found out that Mike was the birthday boy. Levi had brought me inside once the temperature dropped to where I was shivering and set me down on the couch. Everyone was staring at us wondering what I was wondering. What the hell were we? Erwin was sitting in a chair with Armin curled up in his lap. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Erwin was going to hurt Armin. I felt like I should feel bad, but I really couldn’t. I really just wanted to call Armin a traitor. From the corner of my eye I saw Levi snickering at my reaction. “What?”  
  
“Nothing. So, you’re at this party, but you probably don’t really know anyone here.” Levi smiled as he put an arm on the back of the couch. I noticed his attire. His hair was slightly ruffled and his eye makeup was smeared. He was wearing skin tight jeans that had holes in them and a dark shirt. He looked like a punk off the streets almost. “Over there is the birthday boy, Mike. Hanji is around here somewhere, hence why I look like this, over there is Moblit. He’s probably looking for Hanji. That’s Erd, Oluo, and Gunther. We went to college together.” Everyone, minus Hanji, was sitting around. The rest of the people here probably wasn’t important because Levi didn’t point them out.  
  
“You don’t look like you wanted to come here.” I chuckled though I could guess why he didn’t.  
  
“Of course I didn’t. I didn’t know if you were going to be here. I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you.” Levi shrugged as he looked to the side and got his drink refilled. “I’m surprised Erwin let you in.”  
  
“Armin just kind of walked in…” I explained scooting closer to him when more people came and sat on the couch. They knocked into me which made me fall into his arms.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
He was really too caring. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t drink too much, didn’t you drive here?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m fine though.” He shrugged but I noticed how he set down his drink and turned to me. “How are you? Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah. It was only a couple scratches. I just stayed in there a little longer because I passed out.”  
  
He nodded and looked to the side tapping his foot a little. The atmosphere around us was getting more and more awkward. I didn’t know how to break it. It just seemed too odd.   
We were so comfortable outside. I think it was Armin’s hatred towards me right now and Erwin’s broken stare that was creating this awkwardness around us. We weren’t in private and everything that needed to be said right now could only be said to each other in the comfort of privacy. He typed something out on his phone and was about to show me it until he realized I wouldn’t be able to read it so he deleted the message. I had seen Armin do this with Mikasa so many times. They’d write out messages to each other when they were talking about me and let the other see their phone to read it just so they wouldn’t have to say it out loud. “I’m leaving at ten.”  
  
“The club thing?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
I looked down and nodded. “How long do you stay there?”  
  
“Why does it matter?”  
  
“Because I want to know. I don’t know. Maybe so I could call you.”  
  
“I don’t talk on the phone.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“It’s too professional and I express myself better through writing.”  
  
“…Oh…” A silence went between us again as I looked to the side again. I really didn’t know how we went from being so close to this. Just seven months ago I had met him and was going to share my first kiss with him and now we couldn’t even hold a conversation. “Hey, Levi.”  
  
“Hmmm?” He was eyeing Erwin over me. I looked over and saw he was pulling Armin up for a kiss by a leash. I glared over at them and turned away not wanting to get yelled at again for not supporting them. “Fucking traitor…”  
  
“…Hey, why don’t we go upstairs so you don’t have to see this?” He sounded just as eager to get away as me. I nodded and got up to follow him upstairs. He held my hand as he found an empty room and shut and locked the door.  
  
“Why did you lock it?”  
  
“Do you want to be interrupted?”  
  
“What exactly would they be interrupting?!” I got out as I snatched my hand back from him and glared up at him. He was driving me crazy. What was with his sudden mood changes?  
  
“A talk.”  
  
Oh. I relaxed and walked over to the bed and sat down. I looked up at him and noticed his angular features in his face just like I did the first time I saw him. “About what?” I could already guess what this talk was going to be about, but I wanted to stall. I had my cute mushroom downstairs that needed protecting from a perverted old man. Why hadn’t I stayed down there when I had the chance to go off on Erwin? Why was I distracting myself with Levi?  
  
“Us. Them.”  
  
Shit. I really didn’t want to talk about this. “There is no us.” His flinch tore my heart apart.  
  
“Don’t say there isn’t. There is. And there’s them.”  
  
“There is no us when you are wanting to be with that fucking bastard downstairs.”  
  
“I don’t want to be with him.”  
  
“Why should I believe you?!”  
  
“Because,” Levi dropped to his knees and held my hands. I stared into his eyes and saw all the emotion behind the walls that guarded him. Sadness. Regret. Love. Desire. Affection. It was all there in black and white and suddenly it was just us. There was a possibly of us being together. “I love you, Eren Yeager.” My heart swelled up and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I watched him lean down and kiss my palms softly. “Give us a chance.”  
  
I couldn’t possibly say no.  
  
~~~  
  
-Levi-  
  
In all my dreams I had been in love with one person and one person only. Her name was Petra Ral. She was sweet, charming, and my light on a rainy day. She was devoted to me both in battle and out. When I had asked her to marry me it was the happiest day of my life. Then that day happened. Every time I saw him I saw her pressed against a tree. I wanted to blame him, but I should have acted on it myself. If I had ordered him to turn into a titan and all six of us attack the female titan all at once would they have survived? Now, when the titans had been extinct for so long some doubt they even existed, I still carried that burden. I still carried all her love and devotion even though she had died tragically in both cases. I have never been a selfish man. I’ve never questioned my selflessness. Though, now in this world I’ve done something selfish. I’ve hurt two people with one stone and fled. Because I couldn’t handle it. I… was sort of scared of Eren. Eren was my second light. When I was crying over Petra in my room he had come and calmed me down. He had been there for me when everyone else turned their backs against me. At nights I wondered if that Eren back then was the same Eren right now. I stared up into green blue eyes seeing all the passion and hatred in the world. What I had done to him was unforgivable. “Because,” I dropped down to my knees carefully. The floor was disgusting. I wanted to get up as soon as possible. I took a breath as I continued to stare into his eyes hoping he would see the truth in mine. He had to believe me when I told him this. I couldn’t bear to see both of them gone. I had already lost everything once. I don’t want to lose everything again. Especially over an immature decision. “I love you, Eren Yeager.” He had every right to reject me now. He had every right to stand and leave me here. I leaned down and kissed his palms softly. They were dirty. I could taste the dirt on them. They were soft though. I closed my eyes to try and get rid of all my thoughts. He wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t reject me. That wasn’t the Eren I knew. The Eren I knew was all smiles. I opened my eyes again and looked back up at him. “Give us a chance.”  
  
We stayed like that for a long time just staring at each other. The atmosphere around us wasn’t unpleasant. It was comforting. I could see the battle in his eyes. See how he was both doubting and trusting me. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. I take my hands off his palm and look at them. There was pencil lead smeared on them. I thought I tasted something disgusting. When I looked up again he was nodding his head softly.  
  
“One more chance. I won’t ever forgive you if you hurt me again, Levi.” He sounded scared and heartbroken. He was serious. This was my last chance. I held his hands with my own, nodding.  
  
“I’ll take that chance.” Even if Eren wasn’t my first love he is just as good. I stood up and sat down next to him and held him close petting his hair softly.  
Eren leaned into me and smiled while wrapping his arms around me. “Levi… was Erwin your first love?” He asked it so softly I wondered if he was actually asking me or himself.  
  
“No. There was this wonderful woman I knew in college. We were both becoming teachers and would stay up late to do the homework together. Her name was Petra Ral. She was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out. Our relationship was so very close. I gave up Erwin for her. I gave up everything that had to do with him to be with her. I had asked her to marry me… it was our honeymoon when…” I stopped and looked away from him. This was a touchy subject I loved and hated talking about. “She died saving me.”  
  
Eren gasped and jumped up as if I was telling some exciting story. “How?!”  
  
“… I don’t like talking about it…”  
  
Eren pouted a little and nodded. “Okay… I guess it would be hard to talk about since she was someone so special to you.” He looked back at me and what I thought would be accusation in his eyes was actually sadness and pity. I hated pity.  
  
“I’m fine. It happened a while ago… This is the only time I’m telling you this so listen up. We went camping for our honeymoon. She picked the place. I would have rather just stayed at home or maybe gone to a hotel somewhere, but she loved nature. We were so happy. We were always together. She said she gave all her love to me. I had given her everything I could have. When all of us was fighting titans… she had died then too. She had died to protect you by my orders. The Female Titan had smashed her against a tree. I had seen her. I had asked her to marry me then too. We didn’t get the chance… There was this solider who lost someone dear to him. I gave him Petra’s patch and said it was his friends. I had lost everything then. I didn’t want to lose everything now. We had dreamt a new life, somewhere where we could be at peace. Eren, life isn’t fair. People aren’t fair. I should have never agreed to go camping as a honeymoon. We had gotten there and it was wonderful. We swam, climbed, hiked, did everything you could possibly imagine… then things changed the last day… I had fallen in mud and was in a river to wash it off. She had heart problems… so… when I got swept under… and she saved me… She had given up her life for my own. By the time I came to, I was in a hospital frantically asking where she was. No one was giving me any answers and they just kept ignoring me. People don’t like giving bad news… by the third day I accepted the fact that not everything had gone according to plan. Petra’s father walked in and sat down. He grabbed my hand and that’s when I knew. I fucking knew they hadn’t saved her. He said, ‘She was so devoted to you… I guess that’s her downfall. I told her not to marry you at first but… thank you for loving her as much as you did. She was really happy. Levi… the dead don’t come back and the living must keep living. That’s what she would have wanted.’ I had cried right then. I had bawled all night. By the time I was discharged I was so numb. I didn’t want to live. The first time I saw you… I knew right then that there was my light…that’s why I decided to chase after you. You are my light now, Eren. That’s why I’m not going to give up on you.”  
  
Tears were falling down his cheeks as he shook his head. “No… No…I can’t replace her!”  
  
“No, you can’t… she will always hold part of my heart… but there is still another part that wants to be held by someone. I smashed yours before I could even really have it… so I’m giving you mine to do what you want with.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead. This was true. This was completely true. This was my wish. If Eren broke my heart right now I wouldn’t even mind it because he’s worth it. I was an idiot for leaving.  
  
The tears fell down more on Eren’s cheeks as he turned and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Levi… please don’t forget about her just because you want to be with me…”  
  
“I could never.”  
  
Eren nodded and took one hand away from my shoulder and wiped one of his eyes. He chuckled as he looked away from me. “I’m sorry I’m a mess… this was your story and you didn’t even cry. I don’t have the right to.”  
  
“It’s fine. This is the reaction everyone has when I tell it. I also know you’ll never want to hear it again. Hanji and Erwin were the same way. And… I have no more tears to shed.” I did though. I just wouldn’t cry in front of him. Crying was only allowed in my piano room with Hanji.  
  
Eren leaned against me and nodded. “Can we talk about something else now?”  
  
“Yeah… Let’s play twenty questions.” I smiled and held me tightly as I leaned against the headboard. “Favorite color?”  
  
“Green. Yours?”  
  
“Black. Favorite food?”  
  
“Bread and sweets. Yours?”  
  
“You’re a little shit. Stop copying me.” I rolled my eyes as I leaned against him. “Hmm… I like apples. Favorite movie?”  
  
“Wolf Children. Hobby?”  
  
“Reading.” I said though it was half a lie. I enjoyed Saturday nights where I cuddled with Hanji and read my book while she watched her stupid programs, not that I would admit that out loud. “Worst moment of your life.” I watched as his smile fell and he looked away. I shouldn’t have asked. I knew that, but I figured I should know since I told him mine. That’s fair. Or was I just being selfish?  
  
“Don’t answer if you don’t want to. I change my question. What’s your favorite animal?”  
  
“Bird.” Eren smiled as he looked down. “I always saw you as a caged bird back then…”  
  
My heart skipped a beat. He had died to free me. He really did love me.


	19. Getting to know the boyfriends

Chapter 19  
  
-Eren-  
  
In a few hours I knew the most common things about Levi. His favorite foods, colors, hobbies, movies, darkest secrets, worst habits, everything. Surprisingly, Levi from my dreams and Levi now weren’t all that different. His personality was just tweaked here and there. It was the same Levi and for that I was thankful for. Ten rolled by and he had started getting ready for the club he went to. Apparently, he had brought his outfit and now he was on display for my viewing pleasure. Tonight’s outfit was a short maid’s dress. He straightened out his hair even more and fixed his eye liner before turning to see me and smirked. “That blush on your cheeks is cute.”  
  
I didn’t fucking care if my whole body was red, he was fucking hot. “Do you always dress like that?” I had to know as I leaned forward to get a closer look. He put on heels that made his legs appear longer and more slender. The black and white knee high socks helped too. The dress was long sleeved with a white ribbon in the back that kept the apron close to the puffy bottom and tight top. On his shoulders there was white ruffles and to top it off he wore a black bow around his neck. He looked adorable but sexy all at the same time.  
  
“No, tonight I just feel like crossdressing.”  
  
“…Isn’t that a little disrespectful to yourself?”  
  
Levi smacked me on the cheek and rolled his eyes. “No. I told you why I do this. If you don’t agree that’s fine but don’t jump to conclusions and be a sexist fuck.”  
  
“I wasn’t being sexist! I’m just saying a guy shouldn’t dress because it’s for…” I stopped when I realized exactly what I was saying. “It’s weird, okay?”  
  
“Your dick says otherwise.”  
  
“Why do you have to go anyways?”  
  
“Because I have to. I own half of it. It would look bad if one of us isn’t there.”  
  
“Who is us?”  
  
“Erwin and me.”  
  
“… So… normally you would be there with him?”  
  
“Give the boy a prize.” Levi got out sarcastically he pulled out a bag from the closet and opened up to reveal other make up supplies, head bands, and some things I couldn’t identify or want to image who he was going to use them on. He pulled out a head band and put it on his head. It was white with a white bow on the side.  
  
“… I don’t want you to go…”  
  
“Eren,” Levi sighed and turned to me. He strolled over and held my cheeks. “You like drawing. It’s what you love. I’m not going to stop you from doing that, so don’t stop me from doing this. I love doing this. I love going out and dancing, having a million eyes on me. I love being in control there and bossing everyone around. It’s more than my job.” He paused when he saw my expression change to scared. “I love you. This is not going to change that. The most anyone touches me is when Hanji smacks me on the ass. I’m not going to get hurt there because we have a policy. I’m not going to get touched because everyone knows the rules, so there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll come back to you the next morning.” He leaned in to kiss me but I leaned away.  
  
“I… I don’t know… It seems like you’re cheating on me because you have all those eyes on your… naked body.”  
  
“You knew this from the beginning. I told you I was a stripper the first time we met and you were okay with it then.”  
  
I looked up at him and tried to ignore the hurt. “That was before though… when I thought I could trust you.” That was all it took for him to back away.  
  
“Y-You don’t mean that…”  
  
“How could I after you cheated on Erwin with me?!”  
  
“That was different!”  
  
“How?!”  
  
“Because it was him!”  
  
“It’s scientifically tested that if a person cheats once he’s going to cheat again!”  
  
Levi held onto his dress tightly as he shook. “No… you’re wrong. I didn’t cheat on him! I didn’t even fucking know what the hell we were!”  
“I don’t know what the hell we are!” I was crying now and I couldn’t help it. Why hadn’t I just let him go do this one thing? Erwin wasn’t even going. It clicked in my mind why I was so upset over this. “… I don’t… want… to share you.” I got out between gasps and coughs. I got up and walked over to him. I dropped to my knees and held him tightly. “I don’t want to lose you… not again.”  
  
Levi knelt down in front of me and held my cheeks. “Hey, if it really upsets you that much I won’t dance. I’ll just go and stay in my office all night. I’ll text you all night so you know.”  
  
“You can’t text me.”  
  
“…Right… Sorry… then I’ll send you pictures or something.”  
  
“…Okay…” I whispered as I leaned against him. I was such a mess. Why was I letting him do this to me? I shouldn’t have given him another chance. “…Can I go with?”  
  
“No. I wish you could… but… you’re underage. We could lose everything if you did.”  
  
“I understand…” I whispered even though I really didn’t want to. I pressed more against him and held him close by wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him into my lap.  
  
After a long pause Levi whispered against my hair. “Do you view me as a cheater?”  
  
“Not exactly… I mean… I understand that things were complicated so… I guess it doesn’t really count and I know who you are so I don’t really believe you would… but still it’s a fear of mine.”  
  
“I understand.” I felt him relax and knew he had feared that I would have said yes. I reluctantly let him go but grab onto his hand last minute. “You can dance if it really means that much to you… just… don’t let anyone touch you.”  
  
“Deal.” Levi leaned down and kissed my head softly.  
  
“And you can text me… I’ll just have Armin read it to me.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”  
  
I let go of his hand and watch him leave the room. I had to trust him again. No matter the circumstances I had to trust him. I knew Levi wasn’t a cheater. I knew he hated anything dirty and cheater was definitely a filthy word. I had to trust him, even if I really didn’t think I could bring myself to. I hope he did text me all night. I get up and walk down the stairs and try to find Armin to see if he was ready to go. Armin normally didn’t like parties, so it had surprised me when he asked me to go with him. He probably only came because Erwin was here. I put my hands in my pockets and blush. I still had my collar. I get out my phone and call Levi’s number.  
  
“I just left. Don’t trust me already?” He got out in a chuckle. I could tell he was somewhere outside.  
  
“No, it’s not that… umm… c-could I… would it be okay… ummm…”  
  
“Spit it out, kid.”  
  
“Ummm… Can I wear my collar?”  
  
I could see his smile so well. “Do you know what a collar means?”  
  
“Ownership?”  
  
“No. It’s commitment. It’s me giving you the one thing that shows I love you. That I want to be with you forever. It’s me owning you and you having a reminder that I actually do love you. That our relationship isn’t just about sex. That it’s not about one being better than the other. It’s about our feelings. Fuck, that’s cheesy. Sorry, I rambled.”  
  
He wasn’t though. It was just the thing I needed and wanted to hear. “Okay… I’m wearing it.”  
  
“I’ll never take it from you again.”  
  
With that honesty I nodded and realized he couldn’t see me. “Okay. I… I’ll see you later.”  
  
“See you.”  
  
I hang up. I put my phone away and take out the collar. I looked at the turquoise base and the hook at the front. I felt the fur on the inside and smiled. He must have spent hours designing this just for me. I unhook the clasp and slide it around my neck. I clip it shut. I felt like I was whole again. It was weird how one piece of leather would change everything. I sighed and smiled as I walked over to the living room. The person I saw was Hanji.  
  
“Eren!” She smiled and then stopped and gasped as she put her hands on her face. “…You’re wearing it… and after all that time Levi spent crying over it.”  
  
“What…?”  
  
“He didn’t give it to you? Erwin gave it back to him after Levi came back. Erwin said he was tired of having it around his house and gave it to Levi and then… every night… Levi would play a song crying over it… He’d set it on his piano and just look at it as he sang and… cry.”  
  
My heart dropped to my stomach. He had been hurt. Why…? He left me… unless… Did he regret leaving? He did say that he knew it was a mistake the minute he moved but... I didn’t really think he meant it. My hand goes to the collar and I nodded. “Have you seen Armin?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s in the kitchen either riding Erwin’s dick or getting us more snacks.”  
  
I hoped to god it was the second option. I walked to the kitchen and sighed when I saw Erwin getting some chips for Armin from a high shelf. They looked… so happy. Armin laughed at Erwin’s stupid joke and poured the chips in a bowl before punching Erwin lightly. “Stop it, Eren is watching.”  
  
“Don’t mind me.” I waved them off as I leaned against the wall.  
  
“See? He likes to watch.” Erwin smirked as he grabbed Armin and set him quickly on the counter and started to tickle him.  
  
Armin kicked and punched him to no avail laughing hysterically. “S-Stop! Stop! Stop! Please!”  
  
“I can’t hear you, beg louder.”  
  
“Hahaha… Erwin! Stop!” Tears fell down my friend’s cheeks and I couldn’t help but laugh at the scene. I didn’t picture Erwin to be the playful type, but maybe that was a trait someone like Armin brought out. “Rose! Rose!” Erwin stopped immediately looking surprised. Armin coughed as he hiccupped a couple times still crying and choking for air. And then I noticed it. Armin had pissed himself. His cheeks were bright red as he shook. Erwin held him close and rubbed his back.  
  
“Hey, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Erwin whispered repeatedly as he placed small kisses around my friend’s face while Armin stared up at him with teary eyes and nodded.  
  
“I-It’s fine…”  
  
I should have saved him. I should be walking out now, but somehow I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It was like seeing a whole new Erwin and… I realized for a guy I’ve hated for half a year now… he wasn’t that bad. He had a sweet and gentle side too. My hand went up to my collar and I smiled a little. This probably meant… that Levi had one too.  
When I looked up I saw Erwin picking up Armin bridal style and turning to me. “It’s best you both get home before he catches a cold.” He walked Armin to the door and I followed close behind him. This was an adult party anyways. We didn’t fit in. Erwin walked outside and got to our car. He set Armin down in the driver’s seat before leaning in and kissing him quickly. I could tell they both wanted to do so much more, but couldn’t because I was here. I got in the passenger seat and buckled in. Erwin was a gentleman. He closed Armin’s door and backed away after whispering a quick, “I love you” to him.  
  
Armin sighed and pulled out and started driving back to our apartment. He wasn’t talking to me and I could tell he was still pissed at me.  
  
“Armin…”  
  
“You didn’t even try to get along with him. You accused him of things he didn’t even do.”  
  
“From my prospective he did.”  
  
“Yeah well it was wrong. Levi ruined him just as much as Erwin did to him.”  
  
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I don’t trust him.”  
  
“Why not? Because he fucked up with one guy?”  
  
“Armin!” I gasped at his language and looked away shaking my head. “No. Because he already gave you a collar. Don’t you think that’s suspicious?”  
  
“He explained it. We thought we were ready. We’re a lot more mature than you and Levi are.” Armin hissed over at me and parked in our spot. “Now, stay out of my love life.”  
  
That hurt. That actually hurt me and I couldn’t believe Armin, sweet, innocent, mushroom Armin, was the one saying these things to me. Had Erwin already corrupted him so much? “No. He’s no good for you, Armin.”  
  
“Look, he is. He makes me happy. Isn’t that what matters? He’s not abusing me and he’s not using me for sex. He treats me with respect and doesn’t complain when I use our safe word or when I don’t feel like doing it. He’s sweet and caring. You just don’t know him. All you see him as is this antagonist because he couldn’t make Levi happy. You know what? After hearing everything Levi put him through I don’t think anyone can make Levi happy. I’m warning you now, Eren, if you fuck up our relationship Erwin is going to kill you if I don’t first.”  
  
“Armin! I’m just trying-”  
  
“No. Erwin is the first person I’ve ever fallen for. I’m not risking it. Eren, I would love it if you accepted us but, to me, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t. We’ve already grown so distant.” He took off his collar and stuffed it in his jeans pocket before getting out of his car and walking to the apartment.  
  
I was in shock. My little mushroom… he was serious about the biggest dick on the planet. I put my hand up to my own collar and looked down. I guess this is how things were going to be.


	20. Going too fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, finally got this all caught up. :3 New chapters come out every Friday. I hope you have been enjoying so far and that you aren't too confused. This isn't edited at all. I'm sorry, but I don't really have time to go back and proof read it. So, hopefully the mistakes aren't too bad. Thanks for everything~

Chapter 20  
  
-Eren-  
  
Levi has sent me fifteen texts in the past two hours. I can’t read them… and Armin won’t translate the foreign. I would call him, but what if he was busy? What if he couldn’t pick up? What if he yelled at me? I really wanted to know what he was saying though. I sighed and put my arm over my eyes. I was in my room on my bed going crazy with curiosity. Armin, you’re being a bitch about this. I rolled off my bed and sneak across the apartment. I walked into Armin’s room and smiled when I saw my little mushroom curled up around a pillow, the collar around his neck, sucking his thumb. He really was so childlike. I didn’t mean to make him mad earlier, but I learned my mistake. I’d… tolerate… Erwin. I sat on the edge of his bed and shake him gently, not wanting to startle him. He had changed his clothes the minute he got home and then never came out of his room. His phone was next to his sleeping head lighting up to show Erwin had texted him.  
  
“Hmmm? Eren?”  
  
“Hey… I’m sorry to wake you…”  
  
“What’s wrong…?”  
  
“Can… Can you read his replies?”  
  
“I’m still pissed at you.”  
  
I sighed. Are you kidding me? I made one fucking mistake and Armin was going to hold it over my head? Whatever, I need him. I’ll suck up. “I’m sorry about that. You know I am. Where’s my sweet mushroom?”  
  
Armin nodded and sat up. “I’m sorry… I know. I know you regret what you did. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have fought with you. Of course I’ll read your texts.” Armin hugged me tightly. When he was tired, Armin gave in a lot faster than he normally would. I knew tomorrow he would completely forgive me.  
  
“Thank you. Now read!” I laughed and hugged him back.  
  
“Message one, Hey, I texted like I promised I would. Message two, you little shit, you asked me to text you and then you fell asleep on me. Message three, I’m going to go dance. Message four, Fuck, kid, you should have seen me. It was great. Message five, Want to see a picture of me? Message six, I’m not staying this dirty for you so you missed your chance. Message seven, How the fuck are you sleeping through all this? Message eight, well… I’m leaving. Message eight, I’m home now. Hanji still there so it’s nice and quiet. Message nine, I’ve been reading a book and haven’t been finding it interesting. You should wake up. Message ten, I’m beginning you just stood me up. Message eleven, yeah you fucking stood me up. I get the hint. Message twelve, I can’t help but think you didn’t though. Message thirteen, hey, did I upset you? Message fourteen, I’m going to bed. Message fifteen, okay, good night.”  
  
Well… that was a little all over the place. Should I reply? I guess I should to explain to him what happened. This was a lot awkward than I thought it was going to be with Armin being my brain. “Umm… tell him I’m sorry and that some problems came up so I couldn’t text him.”  
  
Armin nodded and I watched him type.  
  
I laid back and sighed. What was I doing with my life? When did everything get so crazy and why was it so awkward to talk to Armin now…?  
  
“He may not reply since he said he was going to bed.”  
  
“He will. He promised.”  
  
“… Eren…”  
  
“He’ll reply.” I reassured him by smiling over at him and sitting closer to him. I held him closer and sighed wishing Levi would hurry up. A couple minutes later my phone vibrated in Armin’s hand.  
  
Armin looked down and unlocked it before reading the message. “He said you shouldn’t have made him wait so long and that he missed you. He also wants to know when you want to hang out.”  
  
“Oh… umm… next weekend?” I watched Armin type.  
  
The mushroom would contemplate how to type something and then only when he was done would he relax back into his big pillows. “You’re lucky tomorrow is Sunday or I wouldn’t be staying up this late.”  
  
“I know. I’m sorry. He’s teaching me how to read soon, so hopefully I can be able to read them by myself.”  
  
“You’re actually letting him teach you?”  
  
“Well, I have a reason to be taught now.”  
  
Armin rolled his eyes and flailed his arms. “You had a reason before! Ugh! I’ve been trying to teach you forever and Levi gets you to let him in no time! That’s totally not fair!”  
  
“Levi just has a nice way of asking.”  
  
“I don’t want to know!”  
  
I laughed, not meaning to tease him but he was just too easy. “Okay okay okay, I won’t tell you about all the dirty things Levi and I do as long as you don’t tell me about yours and Erwin’s.”  
  
“Deal!”  
  
“Hey, Armin, are we cool?”  
  
Armin smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Most definitely.” He saluted to me like we did in our dreams and I saluted back to him. It was our promise to each other. For the rest of the night   
Armin and I texted Levi. He was conversing with both of us and I was finding out more and more about him. I found out he liked to party and was definitely a fun guy. After a couple of hours Armin had fallen asleep and I had walked to my room. I called him.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Mushroom fall asleep?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep too?”  
  
“Well, tomorrow is Sunday, so I don’t work.”  
  
“Good point.”  
  
I laid on my bed and closed his eyes. “So… how was the club?”  
  
“Amazing. Cross dressing nights are always a big hit.”  
  
“What other specials do you do?”  
  
“There’s a lot of kinks in the world, Eren. It’s just whatever I want to get out or whatever Erwin wants to get out. I was in control last night so I felt like cross dressing. Sometimes   
I’d get out mirrors and dance around them so everyone can see everything no matter where they were. Sometimes I just hang out in the dungeon and wipe people. If I’m in a really sadistic mood I’ll make people cum without even touching them.”  
  
I blushed and shivered. “H-How?”  
  
“By whispering dirty things to them, spanking them, do whatever else I can think of.”  
  
“Nnn… do you do it now?” I didn’t understand how my body was reacting to just his voice. I looked down and blushed when I saw that my hand was stroking my thighs. They were really sensitive.  
  
“No. I wouldn’t now that we’re together.”  
  
I closed my eyes and nodded. “…D-Do… H-Have…”  
  
“Eren? Are you horny?”  
  
Shit. He caught me. “…Umm… it’s late… this normally happens… when I’m dreaming.”  
  
“Are you naked?”  
  
“N-No…”  
  
“Get naked.”  
  
Oh, fuck that voice. I was shaking as I got up then walked over to the door to close and lock it. I walked back to the bed and took off my clothes before laying back down. “Levi, this is embarrassing.”  
  
“Heh, never had phone sex before?”  
  
“No…”  
  
“Don’t worry. Just do as I say.”  
  
“O-Okay… what if…” I bite my lip before finishing, “what if I’m too loud?”  
  
“You won’t be. Get comfy and close your eyes.”  
  
“Okay…” I whispered as I leaned against my pillows and closed my eyes wondering why I had to. When he spoke I knew. He was using a commanding voice that was making me get even harder. Oh fuck, I wish he was really here.  
  
“I’m on top of you, panting, wanting to completely consume you. I slide my hand down from your neck to your chest,” He paused and I realized then that I should be doing what he’s saying. I slide my hand from my neck to one of my nipples and start to lightly pinch and pull at it. My breathing grew heavy as I moaned softly, “You moan beautifully. I reward you with a small kiss to the head. I keep paying with your chest before stopping and scraping my nails down to your hips.” My hands curl and I harshly run my hands down to my hips.  
  
“A-Ah! L-Levi, fuck…”  
  
“Call me Corporal.”  
  
“Mmm, C-Corporal…” It was just like our dreams. Rough, passionate, intimate. Even with the distance between us I felt like he was right here doing all the things he was saying.  
“You’re wonderful, Eren. Keep scratching. I want to hear you scream.”  
  
And so I did, I clawed at my torso until it was red and irritated. I bite my lip as my sounds came out of my throat. I didn’t want to be too loud. Mikasa and Armin were just across the living room. “I-I can’t be too loud… Mikasa will hear me…”  
  
I could hear him breathing heavily and I had to wonder if he was touching himself too. “Don’t be completely silent, then… fuck… I slid down my hands to your dick.” I slid my hands down to in between my legs and gasp as I start to rub and stroke it. I couldn't contain my moans as I hold the phone to my ear harder. “You look wonderful all spread out like that. I move your legs apart and stroke you faster.”  
  
“God, any faster and I’ll… fuck…” I bite my lip as I went faster. I could hear his sweet little moans and I knew exactly what he was doing.  
  
“I sit up and pin you against the bed. I slowly crawl over you and line you up to me.” A sharp gasp left Levi and I could only imagine what he was doing to himself. I grip my length harder pretending I was inside of his tight ass. I moan and gasp the same time he does and I know we’re both close. We’re both so fucking close. It wouldn’t take much for us to come.  
  
“Ah… I’m riding you so hard… so quick… fuck, you’re so big…”  
  
Shit, he really knew how to boost my pride. I was spilling precum, making it easier for me to stroke myself. “Ah, I’m about to come…” I heard another moan from Levi.  
  
“Fuck, right there…”  
  
I moaned and pictured Levi on his bed with the phone next to him, stroking and fingering himself. With that image in mind, I came all over my hand and stomach. I came calling him by what was probably his stage name. Corporal. It suited him. A few seconds later I heard him moaning my name and the springs protesting at his weight. He must have collapsed. I panted as fatigue and exhaustion take over my senses. “Mmm…”  
  
Levi caught his breath first as he shuffled around before grabbing the phone and pressing it against his face again. “Hey… tired now?”  
  
“Mmmhmmm… Thank you, Corporal…”  
  
“I’m going to take a shower. You made me a fucking mess.”  
  
“Heh, I doubt it. You could never be dirty, Levi.”  
  
“I try not to be.” I heard him get up and crack some bone in his body.  
  
I smiled and nodded. “Okay, good night. I love you.”  
  
There was a pause. My heart sunk. I hadn’t meant to say that. I hadn’t meant to let that out. I was just caught in the moment. It wasn’t a lie… but I didn’t want him to know… I didn’t want him to know that he could break me again just by take away my collar. My hand went up and wrapped around it. I hadn’t taken it off since Mikasa was already in bed by the time I came in.  
  
“…Night, kiddo.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“No. Never apologize for loving me. I just… I’m not good with emotions, okay? I know that I feel very strong attachments to you… I just can’t say it. I’m sorry. I know I said it earlier, but I was caught up in the moment and I really just wanted you to see how much I cared about you... and... shit... I'm sorry... I'm not ready to say it.”  
  
“It’s okay.” I whispered and looked to the side. I understood. I wasn't ready either. Not after what he did to me. “Sweet dreams.”  
  
“Sweet dreams, kiddo.” Levi made a kissing sound and I made one back to him. I hung up and sighed. Long ago, Armin once told me that when two people are destined to be together they are connected in many ways. Through dreams. Through thoughts. Through heart beats. Through happiness. Ours was through pain.  
  
That night, when I laid down, clean from my shower, I was happy.  
  
There wasn’t any pain.  
  
There wasn’t any nightmares.  
  
Just sweet dreams of romantic dates with Levi.  
  
I hoped we weren't going to fast now...


	21. Piano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Can I really make everything better if I let him in? I hope... I really do love... Eren Yeager._  
>  ~~~  
> Sorry I'm a day late. I was at my friend's house yesterday and didn't want to be dropped off late so I just got home today. I hope you don't mind the delay. :D Enjoy~

Chapter 21  
  
-Eren-  
  
The next weekend came pretty quickly. The weekdays went by with me messing with Jean, drawing, talking to Mikasa and Armin, going in Armin’s room so we could text Levi and gossip about our boyfriends, and then when he went to bed I’d go to my room and call Levi and spend hours talking to him about my day and anything else we could talk about. I was fidgeting in my seat as Armin drove me closer and closer to Levi’s apartment. I was kind of hoping Hanji wasn’t there so we could be alone. If she was there though, I didn’t really mind since she’d probably break the ice better than Levi could.  
  
“Stop fidgeting. You’re making me nervous!”  
  
“I’m sorry!” I laughed and looked to the side. “I’m just excited. I haven’t seen him for a week.”  
  
“What are you guys anyways? Are you dating? In love? Friends? Friends with benefits? I don’t get you. You’re all over the place with how you feel for him, Eren.”  
  
“It’s complicated Armin… I never told you what happened way back when… do you remember when I had that metal break?”  
  
“How could I forget?  
  
“That was because of Levi… he took away my collar… and… he told me we would never be able to be with each other like he was with Erwin… He told me… that it was sacred and… we weren’t ready for it and never would be… That’s why were at this awkward stage. We’re continuing to hurt each other… and… I don’t know what I want… he’s… perfect for me, Armin… I just don’t want to fuck it up or get hurt again… he’s so caring… I know he feels deeply for me and I know I feel deeply about him… but… I can’t help but think we’re just going to end up as a tragedy…”  
  
“… Eren… if he said that to you, why are you even risking your happiness?”  
  
“Because I’m not happy without him… could you ever live without Erwin?”  
  
He opened his mouth before closing it and looking to the side. “I don’t know…”  
  
“See? I found… that I can’t live without him… It’s hell without him.” I saw we had pulled up to his drive way and I sighed. “I’ll see you later, Armin. Remember, you dropped me off at Jean’s house if anyone says anything.”  
  
“I know, Eren. See ya.”  
  
I wave and then turn to stare at the door I haven’t been to since the time when he first broke down his walls. He sang to me. I wonder if he was going to do that this time. I was nervous. I walked up and knocked on the door wiping my feet on the mat.  
  
Levi opened the door dressed casually this time. He had on a white shirt with feathers going across it and dark skinny jeans. “Come in.” He waved at Armin before watching him drive off.  
  
I smiled and walked in. I took off my jacket and shoes before going into the house further a little timidly.  
  
Levi wrapped an arm around me and smiled. “Are you going to be nervous every time you come here?”  
  
“Oh… uh… no.” I blushed and looked to the side. “It’s just… everything is so clean I don’t want to dirty it or do something wrong.”  
  
“You can’t. Just make yourself at home. Really, it’s just a house.” Levi smiled at me and rubbed at my tense back muscles.  
  
I nodded and relaxed into him a little. “So… umm… Levi?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Could you sing to me?”  
  
“Hmm? Did you really like the last time that much?” He gave me a small smile and my heart skipped a beat. I hardly saw it.  
  
“Yeah, it did.”  
  
“I guess I could show you a glimpse of a song I’ve been working on.”  
  
“Okay.” I smiled excitedly and followed him into the piano room. I sat down and watched him one the piano before he sat next to me. “Is Hanji here?”  
  
“Yeah. She’s in her room studying my dreams from last night.”  
  
I nodded and then heard the most beautiful voice start singing to the most powerful of notes.  
  
“I’ll stand here existing and feeling wretched existence, consuming life force till I grow distant. Don’t bother searching for somebody like me. A fading no one. I don’t want to hurt you, it’s not my nature. A monster born from dusk to dawn can’t be your savior. Remember the ‘me’, the way I used to be, as who I still should be.”  
  
The lyrics tore right at my heart and I knew he blamed himself for all of his mistakes. That wasn’t how I wanted him to be though. He realized his mistakes and now I just wanted to move on from them. Could he move on? I wanted him to. If he was still regretting his sins even now, six months later, he must really care for me. There was never any doubt that he did. I knew his feelings, but did he know mine?  
  
“The isolation spreads and tears. Those happy days pierce into me. These lonely memories cease to care. They spread throughout my history. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose you. Unraveling the world.”  
  
I was caught up in all his singing and the melody that ripped through me. How could one instrument fill me with so many emotions? Or was it Levi that was making me feel so many mixed feelings? Then the melody grew softer and so did his voice. I began to relax once again.  
  
“At once, I start changing, yet everything’s remaining. These lives I felt would join as one, they fade away before they’ve begun. I’m breakable, unbreakable. I’m shaking yet, unshakable. Until these hands “contaminate” you.” He stopped and leaned away. “It’s unfinished… sorry… that’s all I have.”  
  
I gulped and stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. He seemed so cold and distant and now… here he is pouring his heart out to me… was that how he got his feelings out? Through songs? I leaned against him and nuzzled him. “I loved it… I hated it… I don’t know what I think… it was beautiful… you’re beautiful.”  
  
Levi chuckled and held me close. “I really need some water… I wasn’t expecting to sing so suddenly. Was it really that beautiful though?”  
  
“Yeah… Thank you… and… please, don’t feel any more remorse for what happened. It’s in the past. I’d rather just look towards our future… I mean… I don’t really understand what we are but… I want whatever this is to last.” I smiled as I held his hands in his lap and looked down. I hoped he shared the same feelings because if not then I just looked like the biggest idiot ever.  
  
“Eren… what do you want us to be?” He asked softly and started to rub at my knuckles softly.  
  
“I…I mean… I want us to be… boyfriends…” My hand went up to my collar and smiled. “You did give me this back so that’s what I took it as.”  
  
“You could take it as that.” Levi smiled and leaned over and kissed my forehead softly. “I don’t want you to rush into anything you don’t want to do just because it’s what I want.”  
  
“I’m not. This is something that I want. You make me happy, and yes you have made mistakes but I’ve pretty much forgiven you for them and this is our fresh start. I may mess it up… but… I’m hoping we can learn how to be in a healthy relationship together.”  
  
Levi nodded and held me close. “I would like that, brat.”  
  
I smiled and stood and turned to offer him my hand. “Let’s get you that water.”  
  
Levi laughed and took my hand lead me to the kitchen. He opened his stainless steel fridge and got out a water pitcher. He then put it on the island and shut his fridge before grabbing a clean cup and pouring his water. He sipped at it and stared at me from over the brim.  
  
“What? Do you like staring at me?”  
  
He took the glass cup away from his lips and shook his head. “It’s not that. You just look so perfect right there leaning against my island as if you own the place.”  
I leaned away from the island blushed feeling awkward again. I mean, come on. He basically called me out for being too homey in his house. He was also the person who told me to act like I’m at home. I didn’t get this guy at all. “Sorry.”  
  
“No. I liked it.”  
  
I stopped my confusing thoughts and looked over at him. I smiled before looking back down at the clean, cleared off counter. “Really? Why?”  
  
“Yeah, because I’d like to think that one day you’ll be permanently here.” He winked at me trying to get me to think he was teasing but somehow I knew he was serious. I knew because I felt the same way. I felt safe with him.  
  
“So, what did you have planned for us on our weekend together?”  
  
“Well, I was thinking going to go catch a movie?”  
  
“Ew, no I already spend enough time there and I don’t need to hear more shit from horseface about taking my boyfriend out on a date at my work. We have this thing where we can’t go on dates there because then it would be like working on it.”  
  
Levi laughed and nodded. “Good point, then how about we go take a walk at the park?”  
  
I rolled onto the counter so my back was facing him. “Boring~ Come on, old man, do you really think you can come up with something cool for our first date?”  
  
“I’m not that old. I’m not even middle aged.” Levi scoffed before he walked over and wrapped his arms around me. “How about we play this new video game I just got?”  
  
“Sure. What do you do?”  
  
“You fight zombies.”  
  
“You seriously play those? I didn’t know you could be cool.”  
  
“Shut the hell up, Yeager.” Levi chuckled and nuzzled the back of my neck. I imagined him on his tip toes but he was probably just standing normally. I turned and smiled at him.   
“Okay. Let’s do it then.”  
  
Levi nodded and stepped down into the living room before walking over to the tv and started to set it up. I watched him deal with the wires and controls before walking to see if he had any snacks. I found a few pocky boxes and grabbed one of the bigger boxes. I take it to the living room and open it. I stick the chocolate end in my mouth and hum at Levi.  
Levi turned and rolled his eyes. “Hanji is going to kill you for getting in her stash.”  
  
“Hmmm~” I looked up at him with pleading eyes.  
  
“Fine, but I didn’t play with you if she asks.” He sat down next to me on the couch and leaned close. I let him get positioned right before I started chomping down on the piece getting closer and closer to him. I really just wanted to kiss him, but the treat was really good too. We tugged on the center piece before Levi let me have it and shoved his tongue in my mouth. I gasped and hold the end of the couch not expecting this at all. Was this cheating?! I bet swallow! Before I could though he already had it in his mouth and chewing it. He swallowed and smirked.  
  
“You can’t beat me on games like that, kid, but it was a nice effort.” He wiped the chocolate from his mouth with the back of his hand. He gave me a control and then turned to the tv. He hit the correct buttons and got us to the character screen. He choose a character with a green cape and black hair. He wore all white.  
  
“Don’t you have these clothes?”  
  
“I was him one Halloween and found I really liked the clothing so I wear them occasionally.” Levi explained.  
  
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “You like dressing up.” I picked my character. It looked like a basic guy. He wore a black shirt and jeans, had brown hair and dark skin. Nothing exciting.  
  
“I do. Don’t you ever feel like being something you’re not?” He had asked me this once before when we first met and I couldn’t help but smile. That’s right, Levi didn’t like who he was. No wonder he was so easy to break. I hope nothing bad happens to us again. I really didn’t like that half a year separation.  
  
Our characters appeared in a room with first aid and weapons. I walked over and picked my weapon of choice, which was some sort of gun. Levi chose swords. “Swords are so dangerous you’re gonna die with those. Aren’t you scared of the close proximity?”  
  
“Aren’t you scared of running out of bullets? I don’t die.” He reassured me and closed his eyes. “Okay, Eren, to survive we have to take out all the zombies within this area. Do you think you can do it without dying?”  
  
“Yes, sir.” I set my controller down and saluted him a salute from my dreams.  
  
He stared at me and blinked before laughing. “Getting a little too into character, I see.”  
  
I blushed and picked up my controller. “Whatever. Let’s just go.” I glanced over and saw the amusement in his eyes before he opened the door.  
  
We fought like brave soldiers. Levi would assist me with kills. He was so good at this game. He was pressing buttons like a pro. What took me five minutes to kill took him five seconds. It seemed like he knew all the right moves to do in the right moments. I was really impressed. In no time we got the map done. We switched to a puzzle game and he proved he could do those too. While I was stumped on where to put my portal he was calmly testing different things and getting the right answers.  
  
“I think you cheated.” I teased when it got close to ten. He would have to leave soon.  
  
“I didn’t. Cross my heart.” He smiled, holding me close and rubbing my side. “Maybe you could spend the night? Hanji can show you where I keep everything. I’ll be home in the early mornings. I'll text her and tell her not to go to the Chain tonight.”  
  
I was surprised by his offer, but a slumber party with Hanji at Levi’s apartment sounded perfect at the moment. I mean, how could I say no to someone who has been making me happy all day? “Yeah. I’d love to.” I smiled and was rewarded with a kiss to the forehead.


	22. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Woah... I'm in my boyfriend's club.... hope he doesn't kick my ass!_

Chapter 22  
  
“Do you want to sleep in the guest room or Levi’s room?”  
  
“Do you think he would mind if I slept in his room?” I asked as she was looking through her clothes to try to find me some clothes to wear since Levi’s obviously weren’t going to be big enough.  
  
“I don’t think so as long as you take a shower first.” Hanji smiled at me and handed me one of her longer shirts. I accept it and walked to his room. I set the clothes down and go back to the living room and lay down on the couch. “Hey, Hanji…”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“How long have you known Levi?”  
  
“Ever since he moved here.” She sighed as she sat down on a chair. “He was looking for a job and happened to pick being my assistant.”  
  
“How is your experiment going?”  
  
“Oh, it’s wonderful. Levi gives me wonderful results. I believe that you both share dreams.” She smiled over at me while sipping from a cup of hot chocolate.  
  
“You think… I mean he has known what I’ve been talking about so maybe we do… I don’t know a lot of my friends have the same dreams as me. Like Armin, we both keep having this dream where I’ve been eaten by the monster because I saved him from being eaten.”  
  
“Really? Maybe we were all destined to meet again. How has your drawings been going?”  
  
“Ugh… I haven’t been able to draw anything but… birds and… Levi…” My face turned red as I looked to the side. I didn’t want to admit that. That was a little embarrassing. I really didn’t want to be obviously obsessed with him. I play with my collar spinning it around my neck. I have never taken it off since the party. I felt lonely and broken without it.  
  
“…Eren… you do know Levi doesn’t stay in the same place for long, right?”  
  
My eyes widen. I didn’t want to hear this. Not now. “What do you mean?”  
  
“He’s never had a reason to stay here so he normally travels a lot. He’s left Erwin and me before without even saying anything. When we call him he’ll just say he got bored and stay somewhere else for a couple of months and then come back.”  
  
He’s never had a reason… so… maybe I could become the reason. Things change. That was a given. Armin said that the red string of fate would connect us and never break. He said it may get tangled but it wouldn’t break. Because we were fate. I told myself this and decided I’ll believe it until Levi leaves. If he did there would be no more chances for us. “Oh… well… hopefully now he’ll stay.”  
  
“I think he will. He really likes you, Eren.”  
  
“... Does he really? I mean… I really don’t deserv-”  
  
“Eren Yeager, you are the love of his life don’t ever say that about yourself. You don’t understand how much he has been grieving over the fact that he has lost you and now you are going to say you’re not good enough for him? You have no idea how much he loves you and feels he doesn’t deserve you. Every night he’s at the Chain he constantly wondering if he should be there or not. He’s constantly wondering if it’s cheating. He loves doing it but if you were to ever say no to it he would give it up. He is not going to lose you or make you leave again. He’s already lost too much. Don’t take yourself away again…”  
  
“…” I’m rendered speechless. Was that really how he felt? He normally puts up this strong front against me… but maybe that’s all fake so I don’t see how he really is. It made me kind of happy that I could see through him because Hanji talks about him so honestly. They must be really close if he trusts her with that portion of his heart. I wonder if I’ll be able to get there one day too. If our dreams say anything, then I will.  
  
“Hanji, you’re really close to him.”  
  
“We’ve been friends for a while and he trusts me with his brain when he sleeps so I think you could say were close.” She snickered and shook her head. “Why are we talking about that clean freak? Let’s do something fun, Eren.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Let’s go to him.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I can get you in without anyone seeing you. Let’s go.”  
  
“No! He’s going to get mad.” I felt like the Chain was strictly forbidden territory. Levi said he could lose his whole business if I ever showed up there. This wasn’t funny business. I was underage and a sex club was not a place for me... but I was curious. I was so curious. Levi said he danced there and it was only fair me, his boyfriend, was able to see him dance. I bet Erwin lets Armin go in there. Armin is spoiled rotten by Erwin. Whatever he asks for he gets. Once Armin asked for some cookies and Erwin gave him four Ziploc bags of cookies. Armin had them all eaten within a weekend and I didn’t even get one!  
  
“No, he won’t. You can blame it on me. Aren’t you the least bit curious?”  
  
Fuck, I really was. I really wanted to see what happened behind those doors.  
  
“… Fine… But if he says to get out then I’ll go and you can’t stop me.” I really was digging my own grave. I really was. This wasn’t going to be pretty when he sees my face there. I kinda hoped Erwin would spot me before him and make me leave so Levi didn’t find out.  
  
“Yea! Let’s get you properly dressed! I’ve been waiting for this moment! I bought you some clothes, Eren, so no worries! You won’t stick out like a sore thumb!” I watched the manic run off to her room to get me my clothes. Honestly, what have I done? Levi was going to seriously murder me.  
  
~~~  
  
We snuck in the back and I was greeted by bright lights, dancers, and a bar on the side, tables. This was the first club I’ve ever been in and I had to wonder who invented these places. Erwin was shaking some drinks in the bar. He stared at me then glared at Hanji. “What is he doing here, Hanji? I told you, you can’t do this.”  
  
“He’ll only stay for an hour. I want him to see what Levi can do.” She winked at me but a chilling voice came up behind us.  
  
“What. The. Fucking. Hell. Hanji?” Levi’s voice hissed as he walked up and pushed her away from me. I caught what he was wearing and nearly died right there. Here, Levi was wearing a tight black tank top, white shorts, knee high boots that added to his height, cat ears, and a cat tail. He had a collar one but it wasn’t the one Erwin gave him. I had to wonder if he went out and bought one just for this outfit. There was cuffs on his wrists and I wanted to know who was paying him to wear this.  
  
“Hello, Levi.” She purred and wiggled one of his ears. “You look cute today.”  
  
“Claws came with this outfit, shitty glasses. Why aren’t you both at home?”  
  
“I wanted to show him how you danced.”  
  
He glanced over at me and relaxed a little when his eyes landed on my neck. “You’re fucking lucky I gave him a c… Eren? What are you wearing?”  
  
I looked down and blushed. The costume made sense now. I was wearing dog ears, a dog tail, a white tank top and black shorts. My boots went up to my knees, but they didn’t add to my height like Levi’s did. Everyone who saw us would know we were together. I played with the cuffs around my wrists nervously. “Oh, umm… Hanji told me I had to wear it tonight to go along with the theme… This was all her idea I swear.”  
  
He sighed and nodded. “Fine. You can stay if you’re that damn curious, but no drinking.”  
  
I saluted to him and nodded. “Yes, sir.”  
  
“And you must follow me around.”  
  
“Yes, Le-”  
  
“And you must call me by my stage name.”  
  
“Yes, Corporal.”  
  
Hanji clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Make yourself at home, Eren. No one is going to do anything you don’t want them to do.”  
  
“Okay… I don’t want anyone to do anything to me…” I whispered. I hadn’t signed up for that. I was pulled in close by Levi, and when I looked up I saw him smiling softly at me.  
  
“I wouldn’t let them if they tried, kid.” He leaned down and kissed me. I felt something get clipped to my collar and when I looked down I saw Levi had put on a leash on me.   
  
“Come, I’ll show you around. This is where everyone gets sweaty and disgusting. I’m normally controlling up here. I’ll show you to the dungeon.”  
  
“D-Dungeon?!”  
  
“Of course. Did you forget what type of club this is? I mean… I don’t think you really could from all the red, black, and blue dancing around here and all the chains that line the walls.” He said as he started headed down some stairs. I felt like an even bigger virgin than I was. The noises down in the dungeon were a little scary. I flinched every time someone got slapped. Levi led me to a throne like chair and sat down. I didn’t know what to do. I was awkward.  
  
“Sit. It’s okay. I’m just showing you off a little. Erwin normally works down here, but we switched positions tonight.”  
  
I nodded and tried to sit next to him, but when I found I couldn’t fit I sat on Levi’s lap. “Is this really okay? For me to be here, that is?”  
  
“It’s not, but I figured the faster you get in here and see everything the quicker you won’t be curious and try to sneak in here again.”  
  
“Why did you put a leash on me?”  
  
“So people know you’re mine. It seems like you didn’t notice all the eyes when you first walked in here.”  
  
“Oh… umm… should I leave?”  
  
Levi sighed. “Kid, you can do whatever you want. I won’t force you to stay or leave. I won’t force you to partake in anything and I won’t force you to not do anything. I’m not going to treat you like Erwin treated me, okay?”  
  
“How did he treat you…?”  
  
“… He was very forceful with me and our relationship became abusive. That isn’t what any of this is about. I want you to know that. The only one who has ever gotten abused here was me and that was half my fault. That’s over now. This is a safe place for you as long as you’re wearing your collar, okay? Kid, if you want me to quit I will. If you want nothing to do with this life style then I’ll completely get rid of it from our lives. I don’t care. You’re more important to me than this. You’re more important to me than anything and anyone in the world.”  
  
His words relaxed me and I felt like I was actually safe in here, on Levi’s lap. I leaned against him and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand rub my side and I smiled happily. He was so gentle and caring compared to what was happening around me. “I love you.” There were those words again and I felt him stiffen under me. They had accidentally slipped out. I couldn’t believe I said that! I’m so stupid! I shouldn’t have! I ruined this whole scene that Levi was building.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
My eyes widened as I looked up at him. Had… Had he really just said that to me? My heart skipped a beat as I leaned up and kissed him softly. “Levi…”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“I’m sorry I doubted you…”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I always thought… you’d never say that to me… I always thought… I… I didn’t think I was as good as Er-”  
  
“You are far better than him. Do you understand? I didn’t know it at the time but looking back I should have left his abusive ass years ago. I should have never left you for him. You were not worth losing. I should have fucking kept you on a leash right by my side and never let you go. I’m sorry, I did that to you back then and trust me, kid, I don’t regret shit often. If I could go back in time that would be the one thing I would change.” His hand came to my face and stroked my cheek gently. “I love you. I will say it again and again if you need me to. I really love you and I am so fucking sorry I did not realize it until now. When I saw you walking in here you have no idea how happy it made me. I love you, Eren Yeager, and I will never leave you again.” His hand ran down to my collar and he hooked a finger around it. “I promise.”  
  
Happy tears ran down my cheeks as I looked away embarrassed. That was the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. With a shaky hand, I put my on top of his and nodded. “I promise you too. I won’t leave you as long as you don’t leave me. I need you in my life, Levi.”  
  
Levi smiled and nodded. He placed me so my back was to his chest and he was holding me. I blushed when I saw the others getting down and dirty. “So you sit here all night?”  
  
“I’m about to go dance. That is the reason you came right?”  
  
“Yeah.” I nodded and looked back at him. “I’m allowed to watch right?”  
  
He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. Tonight is your night because after this you’re never going to step foot in here again until you’re legal age.”  
  
“Awww, but, Levi.”  
  
“No buts.”  
  
I pouted but he made me laugh by tickling my sides. I was about to beg for him to stop when Hanji flew down and bowed before us.  
  
“It’s show time Levi.”  
  
My heart stopped. I was about to see my boyfriend dance!


	23. Catching Some Zs

Hanji put me at the corner of the stage so I was sitting near where a bunch of mirrors were placed. Levi once told me he did love it when people could see him from all sides. Maybe, I’ll be able to see him from all sides. The mirrors were large and curved towards the middle of the stage while Levi sat up front in a chair. I heard the music come on and I blushed instantly. This was not a place for seventeen year olds. I stared at him as he ran a hand through his hair and looked at me with heated eyes. My heart was pounding. He was so fucking beautiful.

His hips rolled on the chair and even a blind person could see the bulge in his shorts. I licked my lips as he held out a finger to me and beckoned me to come closer. I gulped and got on shaky legs as I made my way over to him all the while trying to figure out what I was doing. People were watching my every move, but by the time I got to him I didn’t even notice them because he was focusing his attention all on me. I felt empowered because of that fact.

He gripped my hips and pulled me down into his lap, starting to grind against me. He leaned in and I thought he was going to bite my ear, but instead relaxing words came from his lips. “If you ever feel uncomfortable then you need to tell me. I will stop immediately and I won’t press you for more. I know you don’t have any idea what the fuck you’re doing or what any of this shit is, but I want you to see the light to it. I want you to not base this all on mine and Erwin’s relationship. So, please, by all means, enjoy yourself. The safe word is wings.”

Wings. It was simple enough. Why did he say it with such fright though…? I was picked up and slid into the chair. He got up and turned it so the audience could see everything. He wrapped his hand around the leash around my neck as he began to dance over me. I stared up at him and whined. Where was I supposed to place my hands?  
“Eren, no need to be so nervous, you’re allowed to touch me.”

His words calmed me enough to have my hands run up his back. “Levi...”

He cleared his throat and glared down at me grinding against me to prove his point. “Corporal. I’m at work right now.”

Right. Corporal. I closed my eyes and nodded. “Right… Corporal… I-I don’t want to go much further than this…”

“I wasn’t planning on revealing you to the world, kid.” Levi chuckled before backing away from the chair and sliding his hands up his stomach under his shirt continuing to swing his hips to the beat of the music, his other hand came up and ran through his hair again to make it messy. My leash was still in his hand, pulling me to get close to him. He dropped it when I was about to get close and slipped his fingers in his mouth before slipping off his shirt.

Now, I have seen Levi naked plenty of times from when he would get dressed in front of me, but on this stage he was glowing. I could tell he was having a great time pleasing himself and others. He ran the wet hand down his torso and started to play with his nipples. I gulped and shifted in my chair uncomfortably. Levi went down on his knees and crawled over to me his hands balled up in little fists. He was taking the cat costume to a whole new level. He put his fists on me and mewed a little while shaking his hips. He licked his lips and leaned up to lick at my crotch area.

I blushed and threw my head back while placing a hand on his head and starting to pet him. Just when I thought he was almost done he was on my lap, his hands going to his shorts and pulling down the zipper before sliding them down still rolling his hips. He grinded against me and slid off his pants and boxers over his boots. “Corporal… you’re naked.”

“That’s the point of a stripper, no?” He chuckled and kissed me softly. “Are you enjoying the show?” He ran his hands through my hair.

“V-Very much, Corporal,” And just because I figured he’d like it I whispered out a “Thank you, master.” I was right. That really got him moving. The song was nearing its in but he didn’t seem to mind as he turned so his back was facing me and started to grind his ass against me in a quick motion not even bothering to stay in tune with the music. From the mirrors, I could see him run a hand down his torso and wrap around his length. I completely lost it. I was blushing like a maniac while I watched him jack himself off on me. The hand not touching himself came up and wrapped around my neck. I felt like no one else was there. I leaned over and bit his shoulder wanting to help him in some way. I heard a moan come from his lips and then his hand smacked my cheek lightly.

“Stop. That hurts like hell.” He glared down at me and I knew I was in trouble. His shoulder was bleeding a little and I realized too late that I had dug my teeth in his flesh. Woops. He pressed me down so I was slouched in the chair and I blushed when I was suddenly cummed on. The fuck?! I glanced at the audience and blushed more. Erwin was watching. Hanji was watching. It all stopped when the music did and Levi got off me and slid back in his clothes. He snapped his fingers and Hanji came running with a towel. “Here, don’t let it get in your eyes. That shit burns like hell.” He said while he handed me the towel.

I took it and looked away from everyone as I cleaned myself off. “I’m sorry I bit you.”

“You are forgiven.” That was the first time I’ve ever heard him say that… by the end… I wish he would have said that again. 

A warm feeling swelled in my chest as I wrapped my arms around him in an embrace. “Thank you, Corporal.” 

“Come with me.” He said grabbing my leash and walking me down. I saw Hanji laughing at me and I blushed pressing close to Levi’s back.

“Levi…”

“… Yeah, kid?”

“Everyone is laughing at me… Was that really okay to do?”

“Yeah. They’re just poking some fun at you because everyone could tell you were new to all this. Ignore them. They did the same to me when I first started dancing. Especially Hanji.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Hanji was the one to originally teach me.”

“Oh…” I whispered and looked at the crowd and then at Levi. “…I’m sorry. I must have looked awkward up there.”

“No. You were perfect, kid. Just a little mortified.” I saw Levi check his clock and then held out his arm. “You should be getting back. It’s late. Sleep in my room and when I get home I’ll sleep with you, okay? Don’t let Hanji do any weird tests on you, got it?”

“Yeah… Okay… Have a fun night, Corporal.” I lean down and wrapped my arms around him to hold him in an embrace before pulling away a little and lightly kissing him. “I’ll accept this.”

“Thank you, Eren. Now get going. I expect you to be in bed no later than one. If you’re even a minute off I’ll have to punish you.” He winked at me.

I better get going then. “Should Hanji come with me?”

He snapped his fingers and the brunette came up. “Eren has instructions. Get him in bed by one. Go.”

She saluted then grabbed my arm and started walking me out of the club. Going out those doors seemed like I was leaving a safe haven. I could feel the homey warmness around me disappear and I realized I didn’t mind being there after getting used to it. I actually felt safe as long I was around Levi. I couldn’t take that away from him now because I knew how it felt now. To want to be something you’re not. I wanted to go on that stage with him every night and just let loose. There you didn’t have to worry about what others thought because everyone was after the same goal, pleasing each other. Levi liked showing off and that was fine. In a way, it was cute. This was the one place he could get out of his boring teaching job.

“You’ve been out of it, Eren. What are you thinking about?” Hanji asked looking over at me with questioning eyes. I had to wonder how she could still look at me the same after seeing me get cummed on by Levi. If our positions were reversed, I’d be too embarrassed to stare her in the eyes like she was doing to me. Maybe she has been in this community for a while. That’s right it was a community. I wasn’t alone because everyone supported the same basics. Levi supported it if I ever decided to go along with this. It… It would be special.

“I’m just thinking about having my whole lifestyle like that…” I whispered and rubbed the back of his neck. This should be a talk I’m having with Levi. Not her. I was finding it difficult to keep my mouth closed around her. She was just one of those people you could just open up your whole mind to and she could probably ease your mind with the right words.

“Levi has been in an abusive relationship. You know this. Erwin… went too far too many times. They never had a clear set of rules or lines that they could follow. If you do decide to keep this in your and Levi’s relationship you need to drill in his mind where you stand on things you don’t want to do. I could easily see him being abusive to you if given the chance.”

I lied. She wasn’t the type of person you want to open your mind to. She couldn’t ease it. She ruined mine. I could… I could possibly be dating an abuser.

“Eren, if he ever hurts you or anything come running to me and I’ll take care of him for you. We’ve only known each other for a short time, but I care about you.”

“… Hanji… why are you telling me this? He won’t. I promise.”

“Levi… Levi doesn’t know how to love correctly.”

I stopped walking. Now that stung. That tore my heart up. That wasn’t possible. He said it to me and he’s been trying to take things slow. Besides, what was the correct way to love someone? He has been the one and only person I’ve ever found an interest in and just because we both have some faults doesn’t mean that our relationship will turn abusive or fail. He has a sweet side too. I know it because I’ve seen it. If he didn’t love me he wouldn’t worry about whether if I was comfortable or not in his house and club. He wouldn’t be worrying about me or texting me constantly. “You don’t know him like I do. It may not seem like it to you but I’ve seen how he loves me. I’ve heard it. I… I may be new to relationships and I expect us to fuck up. I expect fights, laughs, happiness, sadness, I expect all of that. I expect to be hurt and for things to change and to be make up. I expect a lot of things. Levi’s relationships have either ended in death or a big fight that just breaks it. Wouldn’t you doubt love then? I don’t mind if he makes mistakes, it’s the fact that I know he’ll make them up is proof enough that he knows how to love.”

“Eren… you haven’t known him long enough to know all that.”

“I have. I really have. Hanji, I know Levi better than anyone else. I’ve seen him cry, I’ve seen him be strong, I’ve seen him be brave, I’ve seen him crack shit jokes, I’ve seen his insecurities, his fears, his-”

“Eren, you can’t possibly think the past him and the him now are the same people.” She was giving me a look of pity and I didn’t like that. I wanted to wipe it off her face because I know Levi. I knew he would never hurt me and I knew he wouldn’t ever put me in danger.

“No, I didn’t say that, but I know that his personality is similar. I’m done talking about this.” I snapped and continued to walk not caring if she followed or not. I just wanted to be in Levi’s bed. I wanted to be wrapped up in his blanket and smell his scent on his pillow. I wanted to get out of these damn clothes and get in some comfy pajamas. I wanted to be woken up in the middle of the night so Levi could get in next to me. I wanted to cuddle him in the night. I just wanted him. I never wanted him to leave and I wasn’t going to. My hand went up to my collar and I sighed. This proved his love. This proved he was committed to me and me only. I may not know everything about him and he didn’t know everything about me, but this proved we were connected. This proves that we love each other. With that thought in mind, I walk into his apartment. I get changed and fall into his made bed after shutting the door.

His pillow smelled like him and his blankets were warm. He had three on his bed. He must get cold in the middle of the night. That’s really cute. I smile and close my eyes.

~~~

It was about one in the morning when I heard the door shut. I jumped and looked over to see Levi looking at my discarded clothes on the floor in disgust.

“You couldn’t even clean up after yourself? You’re as bad as Hanji.” He made his way to the pile and started to fix them before separating them in a basket by colors, whites, and jeans.

“Sorry, I forgot how much of a neat freak you were.” I smiled and scooted over to give him plenty of space. He didn’t lay down though.

“I’m getting a shower first. I smell like shit.” He said while stripping and putting his clothes in the basket.

I closed my eyes before I realized how ridiculous that was. I mean, this is the guy that came on my face after stripping in front of a hundred people. I really shouldn’t be modest around him. I heard him chuckle before I saw him walk into his connected bathroom. I sighed and waited patiently for him to get out. After thirty minutes, I heard the water shut off and then a couple minutes later heard a hair dryer go off. Really? How could Hanji sleep through this? At my apartment everything was dead silent at night unless I decided to stay up and play games online with random strangers. Then there was screaming until Armin, who had the fuse box in his room, would shut off my electricity, forcing me to go to bed or at least quiet down. 

Levi came out wearing huge fluffy pajamas. They looked really cute on him. He walked over and collapsed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and laid his head down on my chest. “Mmm… I don’t want you to leave tomorrow.” Why did he have to bring that up?

“I’m sorry… I have work Monday and so do you. Trust me, I’d rather not spend time with horseface.” I smiled and petted his hair. He must get cuddly and not care about his pride as much when he was tired because he allowed me and even leaned into the touch. 

“Heh, I know…” He closed his eyes and pulled the blankets up around us. “Mmmm… so warm.”

I chuckled at his cute behavior then felt his breathing change. He fell asleep that quickly? He really was the cutest sleeping on my shoulder like that, one of my arms around him and the other petting his hair. His arm was wrapped around my waist keeping him close to me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed this peaceful moment. This was probably my favorite moment in my stay. He in my arms was the most relaxing and reassuring thing I’ve ever felt. We felt so close while we laid there. I believed… in that moment that we were invincible. That we could take on the whole damn world and that we’d still come out laughing and being together. I let out a breath and nuzzled his hair. It smelled… like shampoo but it was sweet? Clean? I didn’t know how to describe it, but it fit him well. I wasn’t looking forward to leaving tomorrow especially if I have to give this up. I wanted to stay with him for every second of my life and nothing was going to stop me from being with him. Not Hanji. Not Erwin. Not even Levi himself. We were worth fighting for. I was positive of it.   
Nothing could break us up. 

At least that’s what I thought.

I kissed his forehead and whispered to him before I fell into a deep sleep. “I love you.”


	24. I luv u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh... god... my head is a mess._  
>  ~~~  
> I'm on Thanksgiving break so I'm going down to my grandma's house for the week, so I got this done early. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 24

The next morning I woke up to smelling a wonderful breakfast. I didn’t wake up to Mikasa waking me up or Armin blaring the tv. I yawned and slipped out of bed. I was about to just go get breakfast, but I stopped and made the bed first. Once my work was done, I smiled and walked out to the living room and then into the kitchen where I saw Levi flipping some pancakes with an apron on. “Morning, Levi. Where’s Hanji?”

“She’s still sleeping in her room. Go make my bed.”

“I already did.” I beamed down at him as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

He stopped and turned to me. “You’re such a good boy.” He cooed and started to ruffle my hair.

I should have felt like a dog. I should have felt like he was looking down at me, but I didn’t. I accepted the praise willing. I leaned into the touch and smiled. “Thank you for making breakfast.”

“No problem. Do you have a time you need to be home?”

“No.” 

“Then do you want to start learning the alphabet?”

“I know the alphabet. I’m not that stupid.” I glared at him and crossed my arms. Really? He didn’t think I knew the basics?! I at least know that much.

“Then how about we start with fifth grade spelling.”

“…That seems pretty high…”

“You were in school till fourth grade, shouldn’t you know those words?”

“That was a long time ago… and… I don’t think I really studied back then so I don’t think so.”

“…Spell “cat”.”

“… K-A-T.”

Levi looked at me in horror and then shook his head to give me a softer expression. “C-A-T.”

“Why does a “c” make a “k” sound?!”

“It’s a long “c”.”

“A what?”

Levi chuckled while he explained. “Each letter has a long and short saying. C sounds like a “k” when it’s long while when it’s short it sounds like an “s”.”

“That’s confusing as fuck. Why would they do that?”

“Beats me but that’s how they do it. We’ll talk more after we eat. I’m starving.” He slid a ton of pancakes on a plate and handed it to me. “Set the table.”

I nodded and set the plate in the middle. I glanced back and saw Levi was watching me carefully. He must want me to try to impress him. I can set a table. I could do that for Levi. I could do that perfectly for Levi. I’d make sure of it. I walked over to the cabinets and grabbed three plates then started to place them on the table. Two were across from each other and the last was in between them. I set a napkin down next to each plate neatly and placed a fork and knife on it. I went and got three glasses and then looked at Levi. “What would you like to drink?”

“Tea.”

I looked at his mountain of tea packets and then back at him. “Which kind?”

“Scottish Breakfast.”

I stared at him then started to hunt through the teas until I found the right one and began to properly make it by what the box said. I was nervous under Levi’s gaze but once it was done and I add in some milk and sugar I set it on the table. I poured myself some milk and turned to Levi. “What would Hanji like?”

“Milk.” He gave me a smile once I put everything away and finished setting the table. He walked over and patted my head. “I want you to do this every time you spend the night, just like you did. This is a rule from your Corporal.”

“Yes, Corporal.” I nodded before getting rewarded with a kiss.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes, I would like to serve you.” I stated after wrapping my arms around him. “I… I like being like this so far… can we talk more about… umm… that part of the relationship after breakfast?”

“Of course. We have a lot to talk about with that. I want to make sure I don’t put you through what Erwin put me through.” Levi smiled and ruffled my hair more. “For now though, go eat. You deserve it, my pup.”

I blushed with the nickname and quickly walked to the table and began putting the pancakes on my plate and adding syrup on them. Hanji was wrong, I knew she was. Levi wouldn’t hurt me. He loved me. We may fight, and feelings may get hurt, but I know he’d always make it up somehow. Take that, Hanji. 

I glanced over when I saw Levi sit at the head of the table. He placed his napkin in his lap and began to eat. “I have to go into work, so hurry up. You have to work too right?”

“Yeah. Will you be dropping me off or do I have to ask Armin to come pick me up now?”

“I can take you. You’re not getting away from me that easily, kid.” He smiled over at me and under the table his hand found mine.

I smiled and nodded. I continued to eat my pancakes every so often I’d squeeze his hand. I really hope we wouldn’t be parting that easily.

After breakfast, which Hanji eventually joined, Levi threw me and himself in the shower and then dried us off quickly. He did most of the work because he said that “I wasn’t fast enough”. He put me in some clothes and then took me to his convertible. I jumped in while he slid in and we were driving down the highway to get to my house.

When we got there I ran in and quickly put on my work clothes and walked back out. I got in Levi’s car and we were driving at a fast speed I didn’t believe was entirely legal. Somehow, he got me there on time and with a final kiss, he kicked me out of his car and was driving away once more. I walked in and cracked my back. “Morning, horseface.”

“Fuck you, Yeager.”

I sat at my stool with my sketchbook and began to draw. Like I said, no one comes in at six in the morning to see a movie. So I started sketching again. Jean began writing and we stayed like that for a while until Jean broke the silence.

“So… like… is that your boyfriend? You’re always drawing him and what did I tell you about that.” He stabbed his pencil at my collar. “You can’t be wearing that shit around here, you know if my boss sees he’s going to fire both our asses.”

I sighed and reluctantly take it off and put it in my pocket. “Sorry, I was rushing this morning and forgot take it off. And, yeah. You’ve probably seen him around. He’s a teacher at Armor Titan High School. His name is Levi Ackerman.”

“Oh fuck, no. I had him and dropped out within the first week. He hit me with a ruler for drawing on one of my notes. He’s abusive.”

My grip tightened on my pencil. Why did everyone think that? He was just disciplining them for their wellbeing! God, just because he was strict didn’t mean he deserved to be called that. “He’s not. Have you ever thought that maybe he just wanted you to pay attention?”

“Well there is nicer ways to do that…” Jean grumbled while crossing his arms. “That hurt.”

“Baby, get over it.”

“Sorry, not everyone else is used to getting hit and punished for shit like that.”

I blushed and looked away. “He doesn’t do that to me.”

“Oh? Aren’t you in that one type of relationship? I mean… the collar is a sign of it isn’t it?”

“The collar means so much more than that, and yes… kind of… I told him I’d like to just test it at his club.” I sighed as I went back to drawing his face. I didn’t like how I couldn’t get the fine details correct. One day I would though. Once I memorized his face from his hairline down to his chin, I could maybe then make the perfect portrait of him. This sketch didn’t give him justice. The expression was too hard, harder than what I was used to anyways. I couldn’t get that mix of gentle and sternness right. 

“That’s so messed up, Eren… He’s like asking for permission to abuse you.” Jean shook his head at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Dude, back out now.”

“You wouldn’t get it because you’re in a vanilla relationship.”

“A what?”

“It’s what we call a normal relationship.” I sighed. Levi had given me a small talk about it in the shower. He said that a vanilla relationship is without bdsm. He also said that there would be a set of rules I’d have to follow if I wanted to get into this. He told me that if I wanted to be in this then I’d have to tell him everything I didn’t want to happen to me or would be uncomfortable with. He also told me that I’d have to come up with a safe word that I would remember. He was very clear on the memorization part. He was very clear that I had to remember this word like it was the bible. I still haven’t chosen anything yet. It had to be something that wasn’t typical. It couldn’t be words like “stop” or “no”. It had to be a special word so there was no confusion between the two people, but what would I remember? 

“… So… what exactly is it then if it’s not abuse.”

“It’s trusting that person one hundred percent that you would give up anything for. It’s wanting to serve your master and being cared for in return. It’s about being taught from right and wrong and accepting each other’s limits. It’s about trust. It’s about love. It’s a normal relationship put to the test when it comes to trust. Yes, he may have to discipline me, but only when I do something wrong. He knows what he’s allowed to do and I know what I have to do to make him happy or else I risk being punished. That’s what it is. It’s loving and caring for each other.”

“…Really? When you explain it like that it doesn’t sound so bad.” Jean admitted staring at me like I was this great teacher when really I was just repeating everything Levi had told me this morning in the shower and the way over here.

“It sounds and looks horrible when you’re just seeing it from an outsider’s point of view, but from an insider… it’s everything I could ask for.” Because I needed to trust Levi more than anyone. He may have promised me to never leave me again, but I was still scared he would. I understood why he did it. I understood he didn’t know what he and Erwin were and therefore didn’t know he was cheating. I understood that he was just trying to please Erwin and that he was just trying not to become a cheater, but it still hurt me. Levi was the last person I expected to hurt me like that. We may have only known each other in a short time, but I could already feel myself relaying on him and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

Jean nodded then turned back to writing his story. “This Levi guy must be pretty special.”

“Yeah. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do without him.” I mumbled blushing a little as I looked down at my drawing. I missed him. Was that selfish of me? I mean… I just saw him, but I already missed him. I always wanted to be around him and it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t be. I wanted to be so badly. My hand reached up to hook a finger around my collar just like he does but I was met with air. Right… I wasn’t allowed to wear it. Stupid horseface and his horrible rules. Did he understand what my collar means to me? That was Levi’s heart and he owns me because of that. It meant everything to me. It was the constant reminder that I was loved by someone that wasn’t Armin or Mikasa.

“…I’m glad you found someone like that for you. I understand. I wouldn’t know what to do if Marco ever left me.” Jean sighed looking down at the words written messily on his notebook. “I may not be working here for much longer… Marco is moving and I’m considering moving with him.”

“Wow, horseface, chase him out of the town already?”

“Shut the hell up, Yeager. I have you know that he’s leaving for college. We talked it over and I told him to go for it. He wants to become a nurse and I wasn’t going to stop him… if I don’t get enough money then I won’t be able to go with him… That’s just how it is.”

“… How could you survive not seeing him every day?”

“People do it all the time. It’s fine.”

I could never. If Levi ever had to leave for whatever reason and we had to live in separate towns, cities, states, countries… I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I would always worry he was cheating or if someone was hitting on him or something awful would happen. As much as I thought I trusted Levi, I don’t think I’d be that surprised if he cheated again. My eyes widened at that thought. Tears formed in them as I held my hand up to my mouth. No… Levi wasn’t like that. My dreams proved differently… I had to believe them. He fucked up one time and one time only. He’d never do that again… would he?

“Yeager…? You okay…?”

I didn’t hear Jean. I didn’t hear anything. I just heard my frantic thoughts trying to decide if I knew Levi was bad or not. I had to figure it out and soon. I couldn’t get in this type of relationship and then break him by calling it all off. I know he would be broken… shattered… if I ever left. I know this. This is also why he would never cheat. Right? Right?!

“Eren!” Jean shook my shoulder. “Snap out of it.”

I blinked and shook my head to get the thoughts away. I looked over at him and scowled while slapping his hand away. “Don’t touch me with your hooves!”

He sighed and sat down shaking his head. “Knock it off with the horse jokes… I was actually worried about you for fucking once. You look like you’re about to cry. Go wash your   
face.”

I nodded and got up. I walked to the bathroom and washed my face like he told me to do before pulling out my phone. I had to try. I had to tell him I loved him. I had to spell it somehow. I went down to his number (I had the numbers memorized) and clicked on it. I then began to spell what I hoped was the right spelling.

_I luv u._

That was right… right? He’d get it at least. I pressed send with that thought and calmed myself.


	25. Two Times More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Teaching, Texts, and Thanks._

Chapter 25

-Levi-

I sat at my desk while I let my students read. I felt my phone go off in my pocket, but I didn’t think anything of it because who the hell would text me now? Hanji never needed me at her job unless it was after school hours and Erwin… Erwin never texted me now. I looked up at Armin and found he was texting and smiling like an idiot. “Arlert, phone.”

He looked up and blushed putting it away quickly. “Sorry, sir.”

“Better fucking be.” I snapped while continuing to grade papers. It wasn’t until my lunch break that I took out my phone and read the message. I couldn’t contain my smile. The brat was way too cute trying to spell. I could probably decipher his texts if he texted like this.

_I love you too, idiot._

I hoped that wasn’t too complicated for him because I really just wanted to talk to him for this next hour in peace. I got a response the same moment Arlert walked back into my classroom. He sat at his desk and began to eat from his tray neatly. I ignore him and read the text.

_im sory i just neded 2 talk 2 u._

I rolled my eyes at his atrocious texts and reply.

_I wanted to talk to you too. I miss you._

“Hey, Levi… do… do you know what Erwin would want fo-”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about that bastard.” I hissed wishing Eren would text me back so I was distracted but the little shit seemed to be back to work. Great.

“Levi… Erwin isn’t that bad and he feels awful for what he did to you.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t fucking cut it.”

“… He really did-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” I was growing more and more tired of this conversation. Can’t this fucking kid get the hint that I don’t want to talk about the guy who made me into something I’m not? Who put me through hell? Yes, I allowed him. Yes, I thought that’s what should have been going on behind closed doors, but I know now that I was wrong. I fixed my mistakes. If he wants to fix his then he needs to come fucking tell me himself and not send his little pet that he got only a couple months after me. Fuck. Him. 

“I’m sorry, Levi…”

I looked over at Armin and sighed. I couldn’t be mad at him directly. He wasn’t the one that left me. He wasn’t the reason my life went to shit. That was all my fault and because of him I could have Eren. “He likes wearing something that matches with his slaves.”

“Huh?”

“Erwin. He likes wearing matching sets of shit. Like with us, we wore this.” I unlocked my desk and threw a brown bracelet onto the desk. There was a chain around the middle with the infinity sign. I looked away from it. I haven’t touched it since that night.

“… Levi… why… how did you guys break up? Erwin doesn’t like talking about you…”

Of course he fucking doesn’t. I was his mistake. I was the one to hurt us. I was the one who never took his feelings seriously and now I was the one. My thoughts stop there. I force them to stop there. If I had stayed with Erwin I wouldn’t be with Eren. My sweet, adorable Eren who leans on me when I play the piano and can only get relaxed by it. I shouldn’t be complaining. Eren was just as good if not better than Erwin. I finally got a stable relationship because of him. I just couldn’t think about what I left. I get out my phone and text Eren again.

_Thank you._

I looked up to see Armin patiently waiting for my reply causing me to sigh. “Kid, you’re going to think I’m a horrible person, but this is just how things are. We weren’t in the most stable relationship. We had more sex than we actually talked and when we did talk we were always getting in fights. That isn’t what made me leave, but it’s what drove me to leave. I met Eren. This kid… fuck… I had seen him before and he was so familiar… I got so creeped out by him. He kept popping up everywhere and… I collared him.”

“Yeah… I know… I covered for him for it but I didn’t realize you were still with Erwin at the time. If you were with Erwin why were you trying to be with Eren? Do you understand the pain you put them through?”

I did. I understand far more than anyone else. I was the luckiest bastard in the world for Erwin to forgive me, and even luckier that Eren took me back. It was a miracle that everything fell into place. I would never be able to take away Eren’s tears or look Erwin in the eye ever again. I had become the thing I hated most. A cheater. I would never do it again. I didn’t want to see that pain in their eyes ever again. “… I understand more than you know… I… I hadn’t realized how sincere Erwin’s feelings were for me. I collared Eren because I thought I could have a relationship with him… When I found out about Erwin’s feelings and how our own relationship was I took Eren’s collar away and left him there. That night, Erwin and I had sex and I realized a lot of things… I realized I was scare of him and I knew right then I couldn’t be with him how he wanted me to be. So, I left.” And that hurt more than anything to admit. I was a horrible person for putting them through what I did. I accept full responsibility for it.

“…That’s why… That’s why Eren cried that night…? Because you took something that special away from him?” Armin got up and he slapped me across the face. “You… if you ever hurt him again… I’ll never forgive you. I’ll… I’ll tell the police on you and I will ruin you. I promise you that, Levi. You have no idea how he was that six months you were gone and you still don’t. You don’t know… how broken he was and you don’t fucking deserve him. You don’t come close to deserving him.” The fire in the kid’s eye hurt more than the slap across the face did. It reminded me that I couldn’t fuck this up a second time or Eren really would end us no ifs, ands or buts.

After we sat in awkward silence the bell rang and my neck class came in. Armin got up and took his tray and himself out of my room. I got up and erased the board so I could start my lesson over for what felt like the hundredth time.

~~~

-Eren-

I walked out of the movie theaters at three with my phone in my hand and my sketchbook pressed against my side and arm. I was smiling like an idiot while I tried to text Levi back.

_Y r you saying thank you?_

I flipped my sketchbook open to a blank page and wrote down “thank” “you” and “love”. I could spell those now. I just had to take baby steps. Maybe I could learn this way.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood today, Eren.” Mikasa said while she drove me to the house.

“Yeah, I’m trying to text my friend… He’s helping me how to spell.”

“Really? So, you’re finally going to learn how to read?”

“Yeah… I’m going to try at least.” I laughed and looked out the window. I had an urge to pack my stuff and just see the world with Levi. I smiled at the thought. That’s what I’d do one day. I’ll save up all sorts of money to allow us to travel all over. I wanted to see Levi’s favorite places.

“That’s really good, Eren. Who’s your friend?”

Fuck. I forgot Mikasa actually knew him. I glanced at Armin for help, but he was very quiet for whatever reason. Something must have happened at school. “Jean.”

“Really? I’m glad you two are getting along… are you still dating him?”

That’s right I can put my collar back on. I took it out of my pocket and slid it back around my neck. “Yeah, and he’s really great.”

“Really? You hated him before.”

“That was before.” One day I would tell her about Levi, but not until I was a legal age. I didn’t want her to yell at me. I didn’t want her to take him away from me. Unconsciously, I knew she would never do anything that would make me unhappy, but I was still scared to actually tell her about Levi, especially when he could get in a lot of trouble for being with me. Hell, if anyone saw me going into his bar that night, he would have got in a lot of trouble. I should play it safer, so he won’t get in trouble. I don’t want him to be taken from me.

I relied on him way too much, which caused me to have dire consequences in the future.

“Well, I’m surprised he can read your texts to go back and forth.”

“Oh… I’m sure he has difficulties.” I said sheepishly, but knowing Levi he could probably predict my text even before I send it. Speaking of Levi, did he ever text me back? I looked down at my phone and saw that he had. I got a little giddy, to be honest.

_Because you’re the one who gave me a second chance._

What… the hell… did this mean…? I tilted my head and blushed remembering Levi’s words. Right, a ‘c’ can make a ‘k’ sound and a ‘s’ sound. I tried to read it again this time using the ‘k’ version of ‘c’. It made sense that time. I wrote down that rule and ‘because’ in my sketchbook before I forgot them then texted him back.

_Ownly because you got lukie._

I was hoping I was doing better with my spelling. I hoped one day I could send messages back and forth with Levi without him having to decipher what I meant.

“I’m sure he does, but one day you’ll learn if you stick with it. Jean really does sound like the perfect match for you.”

Gag. I just had to choose Jean for my alibi, didn’t I? I rolled my eyes and looked away from her. “Yeah, he is. I hope one day you two could meet.” What was I saying? They already have. She just doesn’t know it. How would that even work anyways? She hates him and he probably doesn’t like her from the grades he gave her.

“We should meet soon. If you’re going to be dating him I should judge him to see if he’s any good for you.”

My eyes widened and I looked over at Armin, alarmed. 

Armin met my gaze and shook his head. “Jean… currently is really busy with the movie theater so it may not be for a while.”

“Then when can I meet your boyfriend, Armin?”

When did Mikasa find out about Erwin?! Did Armin get caught?! I looked at him but he smiled at me to reassure me that everything was okay. Maybe… he lied to her like I did.   
“Yeah… Marco really is the sweetest guy.” Wait… did Armin know Marco was with Jean?! That… we could mess up their whole relationship by doing this. I hadn’t meant to use Jean as a cover up, but I was under pressure. I decided to send Jean a quick message to explain to him everything that was going on.

_Jean Im useing you as a cover up Armin is useing Marko as a cover up._

“When will I get to meet him?”

“He’s busy. He’s a little older than us. He’s a freshman in college so he has to come a long way to see me, so… yeah…”

“You guys are impossible. I’m so curious on who you’re dating.” Mikasa sighed, not looking at us which I was glad since Armin and I are both terrible liars.

Not too long after, we arrived at our apartment. I walked in and quickly put on my pajamas. I walked out to the couch and plopped down next to Armin and we started watching The Walking Dead while he did homework. We were trying to catch up on it since everyone has been talking about it at Armin’s school. We had just finished season 4 so we were almost there. I leaned against him and continued to text Levi about different things and Jean confirmed that Armin talked it over with both him and Marco and that they were fine with it.

A couple hours, we ate dinner having conversations about our day and eating a wonderful stew Mikasa cooked up. After dinner, I went into Armin’s room with him and we called Levi for our night conversation.

“Hey, kid, sunshine.” I loved our pet names. “I wasn’t expecting a call from you, Arlert.”

“I’m not mad… thanks for the help today.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked not understanding our current conversation and feeling out of the loop. That irritated me. It meant Armin had talked to Levi more than I have.

“He was asking what to get Erwin for Christmas.”

“Christmas?! We haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet!”

“I want to get it early, or at least start looking so I’m not rushing and so I can make it the most perfect gift ever.” Armin pouted looking to the side. He was embarrassed and it made him look really cute. I couldn’t help but giggle a little.

“Oi, kid. What do you want?”

“Huh? Oh… I don’t know… I don’t think about it until December actually arrives.”

“Oh, well, where are you going to have Thanksgiving…?”

“Umm… Here… I was actually thinking about it and… would you like to come? Meet my sister… well… I mean… outside of a school setting.” I was so nervous. What if he didn’t want to? What if… I was moving too quickly? What if Mikasa didn’t approve? What if Levi doesn’t get along with my family? What if… he doesn’t like my apartment? What if…

“Yeah, sure, kid. Whatever you want.”

Well… that was easy. I grinned and felt a little giddy. He accepted! “Thank you, Levi!”

“You’re welcome, kid. Is this okay with you, Armin?”

“Yeah! Aren’t you worried about Mikasa though?” Armin sounded just as happy as I was. I was glad he approved of Levi… now if only Mikasa would.

“I’d take her on in a heartbeat to keep Eren. I’m not losing him and I’d do anything for him and no one is going to stand in my fucking way.” I think… I just fell for him two times more.


	26. Another weekend at Levi's!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Rules, Questions, and Planning._

Chapter 26

-Eren-

Training started the next weekend. I walked into Levi’s house after Armin dropped me off letting him know I was here by knocking. I set my shoes on the mat then walked in with my bag to the living room. I greeted Hanji before plopping down and looking around. “Where’s Levi?”

“At the lab doing some tests with my friend. They’re trying to put the events in order.”

“Oh…” I muttered laying my stuff on the floor and laying on the couch. “When will he be back?” I really didn’t want to waste my whole day when I could be studying more words. Whatever spell Levi has put over me it was working because I was always eager to learn now. Maybe it’s because he’d praise me after I learned how to spell a new word correctly.  
  
Six months ago it all looked like scribbles on a page then Armin taught me the alphabet and how to say each letter and then they weren’t scribbles anymore, just hard words on a page, and now here I was knowing how to spell ‘because’, ‘nickel’, ‘love’, ‘you’, ‘are’, ‘the’, ‘school’, ‘tie’, ‘rope’ and so many others. I knew fifty words in the course of a few weeks texting Levi. I could form small sentences with little mistakes and he was always so patient with me. I believe Levi was actually a very kind person despite his rough edges. I got out a notebook that Jean recently gave me to practice sentences at work. ‘The cat walk to school.’ ‘Levi love me.’ ‘Armin is me best friend.’

The front door opened and closed before Levi came into view. He set his things down on the kitchen island before wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Hmmm… you spelled everything right kid… but you’re talking like a caveman. To make things present tense put an ‘s’ at the end of all the verbs. Then instead of ‘me’ it would be ‘my’ because you are the owner of best friend.”

“What…?”

“Like this.” Levi took my pencil and put an ‘s’s at the end of ‘walk’ and ‘love’ then changed ‘me’ to ‘my’. “This is the grammatical way to say it. When you’re talking you don’t say  
‘Levi is me boyfriend’ do you?”

“No…” I mumbled.

“Then you wouldn’t write it. If you used that head of yours you may be smart for once.”

“I’m smart…” I pouted a little looking to the side. “Just not in English.”

“It’s the only language you speak, you should know it inside and out.”

“But it’s so hard. Like who the fuck cares about the ‘s’s at the end of words?”

“Doesn’t it sound stupid saying the cat walk to school?”

Maybe Levi was right, but he was my teacher so I had to give him a hard time. That was justified right? “No.”

“Then you really are an idiot.”

“Hey!” I whimpered looking up at him with hurt eyes. 

Levi smiled down at me and put my notebook to the side. “I want to talk to you.”

“Hmmm? About what?” I asked but he was beckoning me to follow. Was it something that couldn’t be said in front of Hanji? I followed after him into his room where he took off his  
brown wannabe jacket and hung it up nicely.

“Sit.”

I sat on his bed and he sat next to me. He ran a hand through my hair and I giggled when it landed on my cheek. I was feeling bubbly from all the touches. His hands were cold but soft, unlike the hands I knew in our dreams.

“I want to talk to you about bdsm.”

“Haven’t we already?”

“Not in detail. I want to do this right. Erwin and I didn’t have a good relationship because we never talked about each other’s hard limits or the rules. I want to do this right with you, if you agree. I want you to know that this isn’t going to break us if you choose not to do it. I don’t want you to be scared of it or the Chain either.”

I nodded. I understood all this already. In my opinion, he was being a little too cautious about it, but I understood why. He hasn’t exactly told me everything about Erwin and his relationship, but I knew it wasn’t good and that the safe word failed. I understood why Levi was trying to make this as painless as possible for me. He had been through the pain and, now, he didn’t want anyone else to go through it. He was so romantic, so… charming. “I know. I’m not scared of it or the Chain… I just don’t know exactly everything about it.”

Levi smiled and kept running his fingers through his hair. “It’s like a normal relationship, but with so much more trust if done properly.” His hand trailed down to my collar where he looped his finger through the hook. “You’ll have a set of rules that we have both approved of to follow and you’ll have to create a safe word that we can both remember and that won’t be mistaken as something else.”

“So, a simple ‘no’ wouldn’t work?”

“Exactly.”

“What was yours and Erwin’s?”

“Don’t copy what we did.”

“… But I don’t know. What if I choose something I can’t remember?”

“You can think about it. It doesn’t have to be right this second.” Levi smiled, leaning up and kissing my forehead softly.

“I’ll think about it and get back to you. What are the rules you want me to follow?” I asked a little giddy with this step in our relationship, but still a little nervous about it.  
Levi got out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. “Do you need me to read it to you? I tried to use words that you are familiar with.”

“I can do it.” I said with a little bit more determination than what I should have, it was just that I wanted to impress Levi, in all aspects.

_Eren’s rules :_

_1.) Follow your master’s orders without question_

_2.) Must get permission before sitting on any furniture_

_3.) Don’t roll your eyes at your master_

I gulped. Two of those would be hard to remember. “Are you sure I’ll be able to follow these?”

“I have faith you will.” Levi said before slipping it in my pocket. “You’ll learn quickly anyways. Do you agree with them, pup?”

“Mmhmmm.” I nodded, nuzzling his chest before I fell into his lap. I felt his hand go through my hair while I curled up on him. “I miss you constantly.”

“I do too.”

“Levi… Don’t ever leave me, okay? Promise me you won’t.”

“I don’t plan to.” And I knew that was as close as I would get. 

I nodded and closed my eyes. He was so warm and he smelled really good. Like fire. His hand in my hair was lulling me to sleep which was a hard thing to do when I was over here. He leaned away and laid down pulling me close. “Levi… I promise I won’t leave you. I promise I’ll love you for eternity.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He whispered closing his own eyes, but still continuing to brush his fingers through my hair.

“I mean it. I won’t. I mean… we loved each other back then and we love each other now. We were meant to be with each other, we found ea-”

“I had to kill you. Do you honestly think you were meant to with me after having to do that?” Levi snapped opening his eyes and revealing the fear. He was scared it was going to happen again. I think we both were. We knew how this would eventually end. One of us in the ground and the other looking down at the ground. We knew… but yet…

“I don’t care. Think whatever you want, but I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving. I love you too goddamn much to leave now. You’re stuck with me.” I stared up at him with as much seriousness as I could muster. He had to know how I really felt about him. I wasn’t leaving and we weren’t going to fight. We weren’t going to end up like our past or how his and Erwin’s relationship did.

Levi looked down at me and nodded. “Fine. If you think so.”

I smiled and pulled him closer while also dragging him down so he was resting on my chest. “I don’t think, I know. We could have the biggest fight ever and I would still chase after you, fight for you. I would do all that and more because you’re… my master.” As soon as the title left my lips a fuzzy feeling burst through my chest. I liked the sound of that just like how I loved it being called his pup. It was a good feeling being owned.

Levi stared up at me and the biggest smile pulled at his lips. I pleased him making the feeling grow and making me giddy. In that moment I actually did feel like a puppy who was wigging his tail. Levi reached up and ruffled my hair. “You’re such a good boy, Eren.”

I nuzzled him and held him tighter to me. “Woof!”

Levi laughed and nuzzled my chest before wrapping an arm around me, laying on his side he began to rub mine. “I wouldn’t know what to do without you, kid.”

I smiled and nodded. I knew I wouldn’t know what to do without him either. These past couple weeks have been the best of my life. I was always anxious for the next text, the next call, the next meeting, and the first date. “Levi… do you… ummm… do you want to go out on a date with me? I think it will be fun and you know… we are dating so… I mean shouldn’t we go out on a date and ummm… we could go to like a restaurant or something… ummm…” I was rambling so I quickly shut up and looked to the side.

“Sounds perfect. We can go later today. So think about what you want to do. We can go shopping and go out to eat.”

“Let’s go to the mall. It’s been awhile since I’ve been there. We can go to this spaghetti place. They like put spaghetti noodles, sauce, meat, and any vegetables you want and they’re like this size of your head.”

Levi nodded. “Anything you want.”

“I’m gonna blow all my money.” I laughed knowing how I was once I got into a shopping mood. Normally when I was in a buying mood I’d spend four times over the budget. I liked clothes so that’s why my room was over flowing with clothes that I’ve either never worn or would never wear again.

“No, you’ll blow all my money.”

“I’m not going make you buy for everything. I want you to have fun too.” I smiled. I couldn’t waste Levi’s money like that. Not when he works so hard to get it. No, it was his money just like how my money was mine.

“I’m paying.”

“I’m not going to win this, am I?”

“Nope.” 

I sighed and pouted a little. This wasn’t fair. I couldn’t let Levi support me financially. “But, master, puppy can support himself just fine.”

Levi opened his eyes and held my cheeks gently. “I don’t want you to. I want you to relay completely on me, understand?”

I sighed and nodded. “Okay… but I feel bad…”

“Don’t. I want to. It’ll make me happy.” Levi smiled and kissed me softly.

I nodded. “Okay. Only if you’ll be happy.”

“Good, now let’s get up and start the day. What do you want to do?”

“Ummm…how about you cook me some lunch then we can cuddle on the couch watching thanksgiving specials then you could make us dinner.”

Levi chuckled and ruffled my hair. “I’m guessing you don’t know how to cook.”

“No… that’s why Mikasa and Armin kicked me out of the kitchen… they said if I made the smoke alarm go off every time I cooked I was a fire danger.”

The amusement in Levi’s eyes was priceless as he laughed. “You’re a trip, kid. Come on. Let’s get you fed.”

“Okay!” I jumped off the bed and run to the kitchen, passing a laughing Hanji along the way.

“He’s so energetic.” I heard her say to Levi, who only chuckled and nodded before meeting me in the kitchen. We decided on mac and cheese and hotdogs for breakfast. He allowed me to mix all the ingredients for the mac and cheese at the end. I set then set the table for three before going back to helping Levi fix each plate. I liked helping him. He didn’t scold me when I made a mess or try to get me out when I messed something up. He just silently cleaned around me and fixed my mistakes. By the time we all sat down for lunch, I was pretty much comfortable in this house. Levi told me about his dreams while I told him mine. They were in sync like always. It was kind of a weird, but nice thing that we shared our dreams. It made us realize so much about each other. We laughed and told jokes or how work was. It really felt like a family.

By the time we were cuddling on the couch and watching thanksgiving specials, which mostly consisted of Winnie the Pooh movies, I was just so in love with the idea of living here forever. At the apartment I realized Mikasa, Armin and I weren’t really close. We knew a lot about each other, but we never spent time together. It didn’t feel like a home. That saddened me a little but I tried not to think of it too long when Levi’s hand was petting my side while I laid in front of him. I got the courage and let myself voice my thoughts,  
“Hey, Levi? Can I live here?”

I felt him stiffen before he looked down at me while I looked back at him. “I’ll make you a deal, if we’re together by the time you’re eighteen, I’ll let you move in. Deal?”

I smiled. That was the best deal ever! “Deal! Thank you, Levi!” I then turned and hugged him.


	27. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi takes Eren out on their first date, that leads to... what exactly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg... I'm so sorry for not updating in forever! I'll keep this short, but I've been having a huge writers block and how I wanted this to go... but I finally busted this out. I'll be returning with the weekly Friday updates this week.

Chapter 27

-Levi-

Let me fucking tell you, life with Eren Yeager was fucking amazing. I couldn’t wrap my head around how Erwin and I fucked this whole romance shit up. It’s not even that hard. I’m not complaining because _damn_ Eren is an amazing person. Here I am in the most expensive restaurant in our little fucking town, dressed in my best clothes with Eren, Eren fucking Yeager, in the best dress I could find for him and we were here. Ordering. Sort of. I didn’t even fucking care about how he was just staring at the menu trying to not look stupid in front of me, which he was failing at, or how he was just basing everything off the pictures. I didn’t care because he was so interesting to look at. 

It was Sunday which meant tomorrow I would have to go back to the hellhole that is my life through the five day weekday. And let me tell you, that school and testing was fucking annoying. If I could go back in time I would have never became a damn teacher. Goddamnit, the kids don’t even fucking listen to me, except for Armin fucking Arlert who is only doing that to get on my damn good side. And don’t get me started on the horrors of being tested on by Hanji’s assistant. My life through the week is fucking hell and then this damn angel just strolls into my house and it’s fucking perfect. Like, damn. I have never felt this way about anyone. I really didn’t know anyone could feel this way towards anyone. 

Now that I’m thinking about it, I really should have left Erwin’s ass to begin with. He was power hungry, abusive, and just simply a pain in my ass. Not that I wasn’t at fault, because I was. It was half my fault I was letting him do that to me, but the life style messes with your mind and I hadn’t seen it as abuse until that night when I had forgotten Wings. That night… had changed me. For the worse or for the better I still don’t fucking know, but that night had changed me and I’d be damned if I ever go back to it. Eren was my life and I hoped he would be for a while. Speaking of Eren, I guess I should probably stop staring at him like a fucking creeper and help him with the menu. 

I press his menu down with my finger and hummed. I had gotten used to what Eren liked and didn’t like. I knew he preferred sweet things over bitter and sour things. He didn’t mind salty things. His stomach couldn’t stand spicy shit, which we found out together when we both ended up puking in a bucket. He didn’t like fish or hamburger. Anything else that fell into the good categories he was sure to like. “You can get the spaghetti or the center cut filet mignon or there’s… chicken Alfredo…”

“I’ll get whatever you get.”

I sighed. Now I was pressured to get something that he liked instead of what I normally got here. “We’ll go with spaghetti then… no dessert tonight.”

“But Levi…” Eren pouted up at me and _fuck_ that pout. How the hell was I supposed to say no to those eyes?

“Fine… but only a small one.”

“YEA!” And that shit eating grin made it all fucking worth it.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “You are such a kid. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do with you?”

Eren laughed and shrugged. “Love me forever?”

“Oi, don’t get ahead of yourself.” I teased him smirking at him, but honestly, with each weekend we hang out I’ve realized that I wouldn’t mind being with him forever. I wouldn’t mind… marrying him. I realized that giving him that collar wasn’t the worst mistake ever. With each day that passes missing him or being with him I’m beginning to think… he is my one true love.

His eyes widened and he pouted. “I’m not. I know I’ll get you to be with me forever.”

“That’s a huge promise.”

“I intend to do it.” The determination in his eyes made me shiver. He was serious. This kid really wanted me to be his forever. It was a scary thought… but it wasn’t entirely bad either. I looked to the side and the corners of my lips turned up in a small smile.

“You’re really serious about this.” I muttered while getting a small plate of salad from the bigger bowl that was the center piece of our table. I started nibbling on it hoping the waiter came by soon.

“I’m serious about the things I care about.” Eren muttered back at me copying me. Damn brat.

The waiter came up to us and smiled. “Good evening, how may I… Oh, hey, Eren.”

Eren looked up at this tall freckled guy and grinned at him. “Hey, Marco. I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Well, I have to get enough money to move somehow.” He chuckled rubbing the back of his head. “Anyways, what can I get you to drink?”

“Can I have… a…” Eren turned over to the last page where all the designs were for the drink products. He told me he did know certain brand logos so I knew I didn’t have to worry about him unable to read something. “An orange Fanta?”

“Yep. And you, sir?”

Oh fuck. I forgot to pick a drink. What would go best with what we were getting? Hmmm… I looked at the small amount of products and sighed. Guess water would do unless I absolutely wanted to get drunk this evening- which I didn’t. “Water and it better be in a cup that’s been washed at least three times in a row.”

“Okay. I’ll have those sent out in a jiffy!” He smiled and walked away.

“Do you know him?” I asked Eren a little annoyed he brightened up so easily just by seeing that random ass guy. Like honestly, what did that guy have that I didn’t? I glanced down at myself and scowled a little when the first thing I came up with was height.

“He’s Jean’s boyfriend. They basically fuck in the bathroom during work when he brings Jean his lunch. It’s gross and that guy is way too good for a horse like Jean.” Eren explained before chuckling at my expression. “Don’t tell me you got jealous of freckled Jesus?”

“Oh, so now you’re nicknaming him?”

“No. That’s what everyone calls him. He’s a saint, Levi. Like the guy is like seventeen years old and he’s never cussed once for all we know and he’s never done anything bad. He’s like a little church boy.”

Okay, serious, stop bragging, brat, or I seriously will get jealous. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “You really look up to this guy.”

“… You are jealous.” He gasped as if it were such a big fucking surprise I was jealous.

“So what? Is that so hard to believe? Is it a damn crime to be scared I might lose the one being that I care most for in my whole life?”

Eren stared at me before blushing insanely and smiling. “I just got a huge confession right there.”

“Yeah? So? Shut the hell up.” I was embarrassed and I didn’t like it. How could one brat do this to me? It was seriously annoying how I got all flustered around him. I stabbed a piece of lettuce with my fork to take my anger out on it.

“I’m sorry, Levi. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just… I’m really happy. You shouldn’t be worried. I love you and only you and I’m never going to leave you. I’m never going to let you leave. Not again. Not that easily. So, trust me, okay? Nothing bad is going to happen.”

That relaxed me and I nodded. What I didn’t know was… that something bad was going to happen in the near future.

Our drinks came then and this Marco guy took our order. He walked away and left us in peace again, playing footsie softly under the table. We were fucking stupid. I didn’t mind it though. It gave my fast beating heart time to calm down. I listened to Eren ramble on and on about work and how sometimes he just wanted to punch some customers when they complained he was taking him too long. I assured him I was going to teach him new words soon. I loved that about him. He was so eager to learn with me, despite how many have failed in the past. It was a cute quality of his and I couldn’t get enough of it. I really couldn’t get enough of him. I was going to be sad when I had to drop him off after this.

Marco came with our spaghettis and wished us a good meal. Okay, maybe I was wrong, maybe he is a freckled Jesus, but I wasn’t going to admit that to Eren. Not after the scene I had caused. I watched Eren eat his spaghetti, making a mess down his shirt and mouth. Honestly, who could make that big of a mess with just eating some noodles? I sliced mine up neat and ate it in small bites making sure not to get it anywhere. I took my straw and slipped it in the water before sipping quietly. I put the drink down and rolled my eyes. “You’re making the biggest mess I’ve ever fucking scene. How the fuck did you even manage that?” I took my napkin and leaned across the table, wiping away at his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Levi… I was just so hungry and started digging in.”

I sighed then chuckled shaking my head. “You’re such a kid. Try to slow down so you don’t get a stomachache.” He was cute and there it was again, a pout on his face that I couldn’t deny.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I have to piss.” Eren mumbled getting up, his face bright red.

“Okay. Go do your thing.” I waved him off not needing to know exactly what Eren was doing. As long as he wasn’t going to climb out the window I was okay with whatever he wanted to do in there. I smiled and ate my food wondering what I should get him for a dessert. Something light since he just had all this damn starch. Maybe a small vanilla ice cream will do? That should shut him up about a dessert. Geez, what a fucking kid. I finished my spaghetti and leaned back, tapping my mouth to get any sauce that was on my lips off. That’s when it happened. A fucking mushroom waved at me. Ugh… what the fuck were they doing here? “Hey, mushroom.”

“Is Eren here?”

“No, I decided to get a table for fucking two and two sets of dinners for myself.” I scoffed. Honestly, what type of question was that? Armin was Eren’s driver. Of course he knew Eren was here. Damn brat.

I shivered when I heard Erwin chuckle. “How sweet of you, Levi. You never took me out to dinner.”

“Maybe because bastards like you don’t deserve a proper dinner.” I hissed glancing towards the bathroom. Longest fucking piss ever, Eren. Come on, I don’t want to talk to these guy any longer than necessary.

“Where’s Eren?”

“Taking the longest shit ever.”

Armin blushed and looked away rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh… I hope he’s okay.”

“He’s fine.”

“So, how have you been, Levi? I haven’t seen you dance in a while.”

“Maybe because you’ve been there.”

“What? Can’t you dance in front of me anymore?” And then the bastard had the guts to sit down in Eren’s seat with the mushroom in his lap. Now, I really didn’t give a fuck about what this guy was doing, but I thought better of Armin. I fucking thought Armin would be the one to not do this shit in front of me. I had no fucking feelings towards Erwin… but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to see him move on to my boyfriend’s best friend. I’m seriously surprised Eren was pissed at me.

“No, like hell I’d let you look at me ever again.” I jumped when I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up and relaxed again when I saw ocean green eyes. Thank you, Eren. I was seriously about to go off on these guys.

“Please refrain from flirting with my boyfriend while my best friend is on your lap.” The boy above me hissed glaring at Erwin. “You wouldn’t want to hurt Armin, now would we?”

“Eren… it’s okay… Erwin was just-” Armin shut up when Erwin patted his head. I’m going to kill him.

“It’s okay, Ar. Let’s just go to our table.”

“A-Alright. Nice seeing you Levi, Eren.” Armin stood up and that was when I noticed what he was wearing. A knee length white dress with long sleeves that revealed his shoulders. A black collar was wrapped around his neck tying the outfit together. Un fucking believable. I felt Eren’s arms tighten around me. He must have seen the dress too. 

“You look nice today, Armin.” Eren got out.

“Really? Thank you. Erwin just got it for me today.” He did a little spin and smiled. “You look nice too, Eren.”

“I’m surprised Levi hasn’t dressed you up yet, Eren. What? Running out of money to take care of your lover, Levi?”

“Fuck off, Erwin. Unlike you, I’m waiting for Eren to tell me what he is and isn’t comfortable with. I’m not going to fucking force him to do or wear something he doesn’t want to wear.” I hissed glaring up into blue eyes that I used to love.

“Armin was completely consensual to all this, thank you.” Erwin growled back getting up and holding Armin’s hand. “Now if you excuse us.” He got up and walked past us to their table.

Eren walked around and sat down in his seat, scowling. “Levi.”

A shiver ran down my spine. I’ve never heard my name like that. It was filled with determination and it sounded so deep and low. Whatever he was about to stay was serious.  
“What?”

“Dress up the next time we see them. I want to show you off. I want him to fucking suffer. I want him to realize what he lost.”

My eyes widened. I never expected this. Not with Eren. “… Dress up how?”

“I don’t care. I’ll pay for whatever you need to buy. I just want you to be the center of attention.” Eren growled glaring over at the table behind me.

I shivered and looked down. This… was the first time I realized Eren could overpower me if he really wanted to. I looked up at him and nodded. “Then let’s go shopping.”

He smiled and called over Marco asking for the check. I paid for dinner and got up taking his hand as we walked out. “… Oh, I was going to order you some ice cream.”

“That’s okay.” Eren smiled and I was relieved when he was back to normal. “We can get some at the mall.

I nodded and let him lean against me as we walked. This… just got interesting.


	28. Schemes and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Writing this... always makes me a complete mess... Eren was so sweet._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 28

-Levi-

Before we continue with the story, I’d like you all to know that I’m currently looking through Eren’s files to see if he had wrote anymore. From this moment on, unless I find more chapters that he himself has written, it will be from my prospective.

~~~

Eight fucking stores Eren dragged me to. Eight. Now, I’m not one to shop for myself so you could see why I’d be a little irritated. What really made me mad was Eren was dressing me up like a fucking girl. “What the hell do you think you’re going to prove? Why the fuck do you have to prove anything to that bastard?”

“I want to get revenge on him for you. I want… him to know what he lost. I want him to realize that he can’t show off my best friend to you. He deserves this after everything he did to you.” Eren hissed moving shirt after shirt on the rack harshly.

“…Kid… that was my fault too… I should have never forgotten the safe word… if I would have just remember what my safe word was we wouldn’t have been in that shitty relationship.”

“No. Fuck that logic. I get that’s how that works but if someone loves you they should realize when you fucking had enough.” Eren barked out causing me to flinch. He was really fucking pissed. What exactly made him this way though? Was it really just because Erwin was there?

“He did the same shit at Mike’s party and you weren’t pissed then.” I pointed out as I looked at the clothes that were in my hands to go try on. He was picking out rocker clothes for me. It wasn’t something I myself would pick out… but they weren’t bad either.

“We weren’t together at Mike’s party.”

“And that makes everything a whole lot different?”

Eren looked over at me and that intense stare he gave me made me straighten up a bit and try to put my foot down on him before he did anything reckless… just like back then when I saw the same look given when he decided to kill every last one of the titans. “I’m not letting him belittle you like that. You deserve so much fucking more than that. You deserve his damn respect and we are going to be the main event the next time we see them. I can easily find out their schedule through Armin.”

“Oi, don’t bite off more than you can chew. It’s fucking bad enough they had to ruin our evening now we’re going to fucking ruin theirs the next time they go out on a date?” This was all fucking a waste of time to me. Why the fuck did any of this mattered? Eren was the most perfect human being on this planet for me. I really had no reason to point that out to anyone.

“…Don’t you want this? Don’t you want to prove yourself to Erwin? Hell, it’s bad enough he made your life a living hell for the past couple years, I don’t need him tormenting you further.” And just like that Eren was back to his gentle self that was looking out for me.

“…Well… when you put it like that… I guess I wouldn’t mind showing him that I deserved better than the shit he put me through.” I muttered looking away from him. I wasn’t actually expecting this… for Eren to care that much about me. Sure, I love the kid to death and I knew he loved me to death… but… it was odd feeling cared for… or maybe I just wasn’t expecting the sentiment. Either way in that moment… I think I fell in love with him all over again.

“See? Now go try these on and let me see you.”

I sighed and took the clothes before walking to the dressing room. What Eren choose this time… wasn’t actually that bad. It was a ruffled black skirt that was more on the cute side than tight and sexy side and a brown sweater that revealed my shoulders. It was cute… I didn’t really like the style, but I had to admit, I did pull it off. The sweater was baggy enough that it didn’t show any of my muscles. Wait. No. Fuck this. I’m not some dress up Barbie doll. I’m a fucking man. I quickly texted Eren to get the hell in here. When he showed up and I threw the clothes at him and crossed my arms. “No. Fucking get me some damn guy clothes if you want to do this.”

“… You won’t be as pretty then.”

I looked at him and held his cheek. “You have no idea what the fuck you are doing. You got pissed that Erwin dressed Armin up as a girl right? Well, Erwin was getting him whatever naturally looked good on him, which is the opposite of what he did to me. He always put drag on me because he knew it embarrassed me and didn’t show off my full potential. What I’m getting at is… use what I have to your advantage. When you look at me do you see a girl who wears cute skirts and dresses?”

Eren looked at me with wide eyes before shaking his head. “No…”

“Then don’t put me in fucking skirts and dresses. Put me in shit you can see me wearing comfortably and pull off greatly. It would go a lot smoother. Confidence is key if you want to get that bastard to recognize you. So, I believe this is what we should do. Get me some sexy ass clothing that I can pull off and that will make me look amazing. Then get something for yourself. Something that will make you really cute. It will piss Erwin off to no end to know I’m in charge and happy while also having an obedient pet.”

Eren smiled and nodded. “Okay! I’ll go find a two matching outfits that way we look similar too! Oooo… I might actually get that skirt I gave you.”

“Heh, you’ll have to shave your legs for that shit.”

“I shave them anyways. I figured you’d think body hair was disgusting.”

“It is.”

“See? I was right. I’ll be back, Levi!” He smiled and all too eagerly ran out of my changing room. What an idiot. This wouldn’t stop anything between Erwin and Armin but it would be fun to mess with Erwin’s head a little. I just hoped this wouldn’t upset the little mushroom. He was Eren’s best friend and Eren trying to break him and Erwin up may risk their friendship. I’ll talk to him later about I guess. For now, I just wanted to see Eren in a skirt.

After our shopping, we had gone back home and were currently cuddling on the couch. I don’t know who how Eren got it in his head, honestly I didn’t mind it. Actually this moment was what made us survive. This idea made us realize how much we meant to each other. This idea is what made us realize how stupid we were for getting into fights and waking up the children. This idea… is what made our future possible.

“So, what? Just like on fucking Valentine’s Day in elementary school where you put a card in a shoe box?”

“Yeah, but sweeter. Because we’ll mean it.” He smiled snuggling into me and held my hand tightly. It wasn’t a bad idea honestly. So, for the rest of the evening we created boxes for each other while putting in promises to each other. “Oi, Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite color again?”

“Gray.”

I paused. That wasn’t what it was last time. I looked over at him in confusion. “… I know that wasn’t it last time. Are you fucking with me? This is a serious question. I need to know what color to make your box.”

“Heh, my favorite color changes a lot. Like I know your is black.”

“… You’re getting a fucking rainbow box then.” I rolled my eyes and turned back to the box that looked like complete shit. It was a small shoe box I had found in my closet. I had stabbed an opening at the top with a knife since Eren had stolen the scissors. I began coloring it. I wasn’t the artist. Actually, I fucking sucked at all art. But… this was for Eren and Eren wanted to do this. This wasn’t how I planned our night to go. I had planned to make him one hundred percent mine, to finally go all the way with him, but this right here was so much special. I put stickers and other shit I didn’t know I owned on his. It looked like a kindergartener did it. Just imagine little heart stickers everywhere on a rainbow box. Fucking Christ it looks like shit. I started on my promises. When Eren had come up with this idea I thought it was going to be hard but… with each little scrap of paper I wrote on it became more and more easy. When we were first done we switched boxes. Eren had made mine black with white designs of flowers, feathers, and a heart on top. I liked it. I closed my eyes when I saw him do the same and reached in and grabbed on folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and smiled. It was so cute. 

_I promise, as your loyal dog and boyfriend, to stay with you as much as possible._

I smiled and put it in an empty jar so I could save it. “What was the one you picked?” When I looked over Eren was crying and grinning a shit eating grin. Damn, I wonder which one made him cry like that.

“I promise, even if we end up in a huge ass fight, to always be with you at the end of the day.”

I blushed and looked away. That was the last one I did. That was the last one that I felt was worth any meaning… and he picked it on day one. I looked at my box and smiled. I couldn’t wait to read tomorrow’s promise. We had agreed to read them every day. “When do you need to be home?” I didn’t want him to go but it couldn’t be helped. He had work tomorrow.

“…I should probably leave now…” Eren whimpered. He looked like a puppy being put in his cage for the night. When did I get someone who loved me and wanted to be with me so much?

“Okay. Don’t forget your bag and box.” I sighed and walked to the front door where I grabbed my keys, jacket and shoes.

Eren followed me and put his own stuff on before we walked out to my car. I carefully drove him home and gave him the best make out session in the car before letting him leave. I got back home and showered before falling into bed. Hanji was at the club tonight so no machines for me until later tonight. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~~~

“Levi…?” Eren whimpered next to me while we were cuddling on my bed instead of doing our chores. I was letting him slack off just this once. 

“Yeah?” I asked opening my eyes to look down at his vibrant blue green eyes.

“… ummm…” He looked down and squirmed a little before pinning me down. “Let me top you again...”

“Fuck no.” I growled not believing he was actually wanting to seeing me so… disgusting looking. When it was him it was beautiful but I would just look sloppy.

He pouted before kissing me roughly, holding my shoulders tightly and somehow he got my brain to be all messed up because when he leaned away and began stripping me off my shirt and maneuver gear I couldn’t say no. I panted and watched him shaking from all the want coursing through me. His lips touched my skin and it felt like fire was sent through my cold body. I shrugged out of my shirt sleeves and straps and laid there letting him down whatever he wanted to me. I could never say no to any of his requests… not for long. He was just too cute and devilish to say no to. To hold your ground. “Fuck.” He was stroking my nipples and it was too good. Too hot and too there was too much teasing going on right now.

“Does that feel good, Levi?”

“Fuck off.”

“I will.” Eren giggled and _oh fuck he went lower with his hands_. I melted under those hot hands, moaning and panting heavily. I was a fucking mess and I honestly found myself not caring.

Eren leaned down and kissed me sweetly. “I promise…”

Oh fuck here comes the promises… Every time this was happening Eren would whisper the same ten fucking promises to me. I think if he hadn’t… our deaths would have been far more tragic. I clung to the back of his shirt went I felt him enter me. When… had he taken my pants and the rest of my straps off? Fuck it was so tight… he hadn’t prepared me at all.

He let out a sigh then continued, “To stay with you as much as possible.”

I blushed and groaned when he started rocking his hips. “Eren…”

“I promise…to try to follow your orders… so please don’t be mad at me if I fail.”

I closed my eyes and relaxed as he kissed me softly before continuing. When I was on top… it was always rough and passionate, but with Eren on top… he made love and it was far better. It was so much sweeter and showed how much he truly cared. “Damnit, Eren…”

“I promise... fuck… to trust you as long as you trust me… if… if you trust me it would make me so happy, Levi.” He whispered in my ear as he held me close, always keeping me so close. “I promise… to come back from every mission alive, if you do the same.”

Of course we would. We’d stay together forever. We were alike… society casted us out while we strived to prove to them we weren’t monsters… prove to them I wasn’t just a machine. We’d make it out because that’s what we had to do.

“I promise to talk to you.” He nibbled my ear and I was losing it. I fucking loved it when he did this. He was always so caring and always perfect. I don’t think he could go any gentler, but it always proved how much he truly loved me.

“Eren, fuck, faster, harder…please, you little shit…” I pleaded but he wasn’t going to give me that because he didn’t want this to end any time soon.

“I promise…” He cut off and I knew it was hard to say promise number six, “to be a human towards you… if you also thought I was a monster I don’t think I could bare it.”

I reached down and started stroking myself slowly, still wanting to be able to hear promises seven through ten. I bit my lip so I wasn’t too loud. He was barely over a whisper. I always wanted to hear them.

“I promise, even if we end up in a huge fight, to always be with you at the end of the day.” He kissed me again and he was purposely hitting my prostate now to make me cry out in ecstasy. “I promise… gah… if I ever lost control you will be the one to kill me, and I promise it wouldn’t be your fault that I died, no matter the circumstances.”

If there was one thing I hated about all this. It was promise eight and nine. I always thought it wouldn’t happen. That we’d get through this damn war… but the future proved differently. I hated my life… I did until Eren showed up. Then everything changed. He was at promise ten now. It was the best one out of all of them. I think… it was what tied   
everything together as we started to reach our peaks.

“I promise… to stay with you until my last breath… because I know you’ll be there and to never forget… that we loved each other.” We both released at that.

As we came down from our highs, both panting heavily, I stared up at the ceiling before turning to face him. I stroked his hair and sighed. We were a mess. We needed showers but that wasn’t the priority right now. The priority was promising everything back to him. “I promise too.”


	29. A Slap in the Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _This party may have been the best night with Eren.  
>  He really is my number one._  
> -Levi

Chapter 29

-Levi-

_I promise to talk to you daily even if you’re mad at me._

_I promise to love you forever._

_I promise to never look at another person the same way I look at you._

_I promise we’ll be married one day._

_I promise we’ll be together next year, and the year after that and the year after that, forever and ever until we both die and then some._

_I promise to take good care of your heart._

I woke up the next morning, showered, dressed and went to my box to grab today’s promise. Today I had to work at the Chain and also had to pick up Eren for a party we were going to. Hanji had decided to throw a fucking party in my apartment. This place was going to be trashed by tomorrow. But… that also meant that I could get my revenge on Erwin. I glanced at the closet and decided to put on the outfit Eren had got me last week. It was a tight black short sleeve shirt that had white lace long sleeves underneath to give it a layered look. White wings were on the back and feathers falling on the front. I think Eren picked up on my love for birds. I had black nail polish on since I was going to The Chain later and didn’t want to bother with it then and black eyeliner. Eren had picked out white skinny jeans for me to wear for this outfit that formed to my body nicely. I slipped on a necklace that had two wings, one white one black, crossed. I put on some boots to hopefully not get in the snow with and walked to my car. Armin was out shopping with Erwin for the party so I was left to pick up Eren. I texted the kid I was on my way and to wear the shit he had gotten in our shopping experience.

When I arrived, Eren quickly got in the car, looking like a flustered idiot. Then I noticed why. He was wearing the black frilly skirt that he had tried to make me wear then a shirt that had a gray tank top underneath a white long sleeved shirt that had slits on the sides of it. With the collar and his natural beauty he looked amazing. It was also a nice touch that we had a color scheme going on. Erwin would have a tough time beating us. “How did you get passed Mikasa in that?”

“… I changed outside.”

“It’s fucking cold, kid. You could have just changed at my house.” I rolled my eyes at his stupidness. Really, how stupid could you be? This is how everyone winds up sick, I swear.

“…I didn’t want to and… I umm… liked the shoes.”

I glanced down and saw black flats that had bows on the tops of them. Eren had chosen to wear knee high socks that were also white but had a black boarder at the top. “… Not bad.”

Eren blushed more and looked to the side. “Shut up.”

“What? You look pretty amazing.”

“So do you.”

I pulled out and drove to my house, only having one hand on the steering wheel as the other held my head. I had woke up in a complete mess like always. “… What did you dream last night?” I glanced over and instantly knew since his face turned an even brighter red.

“…Umm… us. Doing things… you know…”

“Eren… have you ever wanted to go all the way with me now? I mean… I get we have only been dating for maybe a month but… I was just curious.” I tried to voice my thoughts. I was never good at expressing my feelings or thoughts so the kid must be confused.

“… I mean, yeah I want you to be my first but… I don’t know… I’m scared… that may be childish but I think it would hurt…”

“It does if not prepared properly… but you have to remember I’m not a virgin. I know how to prepare you and take care of you.”

“Was Erwin your first?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Was… Was he good?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you, kid.” I sighed not even wanting to think about my first time. It was a fucking disaster. I couldn’t fucking walk properly for weeks and I had fucking exams all that week and he was just simply too rough when I didn’t want to be roughed up. I wonder if the mushroom could change him enough to where Erwin doesn’t hurt him.

“Why not? I should know everything and… I want the truth… I want to try to be better than hi-”

“You already are. You have no idea how much shit he’s put me through. He’s fucking abusive and I suggest you sit down with mushroom and tell him that because Erwin Smith is a   
fucking power addict. He won’t stop until you’ve bend to his will and became his fucking pet that just sits there when he wants them to.”

“… Why did you keep coming back to him then? You ran away so many times and yet…”

“You know what it’s like being owned. You know what it’s like to get your collar removed. I ran away but… he was my master. I wanted to serve him. I felt like I was still owned by him so I would go back and take as much as I could before leaving again.” I glanced over and saw him playing with his collar.

“It’s strange… I never thought a simple piece of nylon would make me feel so special.”

I smiled and shook my head not knowing how to explain it. Collars were special. They showed love even if there was none being presently shown. My neck tingled where my old one used to be… but I didn’t care. That collar was nowhere near as special as Eren’s. Eren was the one and I was beginning to realize he would always be the one. It was kind of a scary thought considering I felt like sooner or later I would hurt him… but looking into those eyes I knew I wouldn’t. I knew I could never bring myself to because I loved him so much. I couldn’t wait for him to turn eighteen already so then we could move in together. I couldn’t wait to wake up next to him every day. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep with him every night. I couldn’t wait to make breakfast for him and hang out all day with him when we were off work. I couldn’t wait to form a life with him. By the time we got to my apartment guests were already arriving. Typical Hanji parties lasted all day and night. This was going to be a headache. I noticed Erwin’s car. “Come on.” I got out and Eren obediently followed but stopped me before going inside.

“Is there any rules you want me to follow tonight, master?”

“Just the ones you memorized.” I shivered at the way he said that. It was a good feeling and it busted my confidence wholeheartedly. 

“Yes, sir.” With that Eren took my arm and I escorted him in. The music was loud. Really fucking loud. I’m surprised the neighbors hadn’t called the cops. The furniture had been moved to the side and the breakables were probably in the guest room. People were drinking and starting to warm up to dancing. Erwin was alone on the couch.

With my head held high, I strolled over to the couch and sat down with my legs crossed.

Eren followed and sat on the ground looking up at me eagerly to prove his worth to Erwin. Eager to prove his worth to me. My more commanding side came out the minute our eyes met and I knew tonight would be fun having my little pet do whatever I wanted. “Get me a glass of wine. You do know how to pour it, yes, my pup?”

“Yes, master.” Eren nodded his head and got up walking into the kitchen.

“Your dog is pretty obedient. What did you have to do to get him to be reduced to that?” I heard Erwin asked and I smirked because I didn’t have to do a single fucking thing   
except ask. Eren was willing to do this. He wanted to. I could practically see a tail wagging behind him.

“Nothing.”

“You must be joking, Levi.” Erwin laughed swirling his wine in his own cup. “He couldn’t have possibly wanted to be reduced to that. That boy has got some feistiness in him.”

“He did it willingly. All I had to do was bring it up. Not everyone is like you, Erwin. You better not be forcing that mushroom to do anything he doesn’t want to do or me and Eren will kick your ass. I don’t care how fucking big you are. Armin doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

“How would you know? Have you even talked to him?”

“Yes. We used to talk all the time when Eren needed his help to read texts.”

“Armin is doing all of this willingly. He was eager to bend to my control unlike you.”

“Maybe because I would never degrade myself to bend to a power hungry bastard.” Levi hissed and was relieved when Eren came back with his drink. He sat on the floor on his legs and handed me the glass, nuzzling my knees. He was too cute. I ruffled his hair and sipped from the glass. He was really too kind. Too sweet. And I knew Erwin hated every second of this.

Erwin was about to say something when a new guest appeared. He had a freshly cut bobcut, recently done nails, a green glittering dress and a smile that could kill. On top of his head were white ears that displayed his emotions. Armin fucking Arlert had Eren beat in cuteness.

“Nnnnn…” Eren whimpered nuzzling my leg more to get my attention but I couldn’t take my eyes off the other.

“Come here, kitten.” Erwin smirked raising his arms out in a greeting that Armin was quick to take. The mushroom walked right up to him and curled up on his lap like he fucking owned it. His collar had a small bell that jingled at every movement. Why the fuck was Erwin spoiling this brat but he never fucking spoiled me?!

I was about to bark out how stupid they looked when a noise cut me off. I looked down to see Eren growling at them, his eyes might have well been fire. He was pissed. He was beaten and he fucking knew it. Armin looked well cared for and not a hickey in sight. A flawless doll. Whereas Eren looked like he still had bedhead and hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Eren…?” Armin looked down at him in concern. Did the kid really not know what he did to piss off Eren? I knew this was going to be annoying. The minute I heard Erwin had claimed Armin I knew- I fucking knew- this was going to be a battle between Eren and them. I reached down to try to calm him by petting his hair. It helped, but only a little.

Eren looked up at me and pawed at my lap. “Permission to sit on you, sir?”

I looked down at him in curiosity. Surely he wasn’t going to try to compete? Eren would look absolutely ridiculous on my lap given my height. “Yes.” In an instant he was on my lap and licking my cheek in a thank you. My eyes narrowed. That was fucking disgusting. I heard Erwin chuckle and when I glanced over I saw him smirking. He wanted me to punish Eren and make a show, well he was going to have another thing coming. I grabbed behind Eren’s delicate knees and slid him down my lap so he was laying on his back, his legs half off the couch. I leaned down and kissed his head. “Thank you for the kiss.”

“Woof!” Eren smiled happily and licked my chin. Fuck, he was cute. It had successfully shut Erwin up and that only made the shit eating grin on Eren’s face grow more.

“E-Eren! Don’t act like a dog! That’s so embarrassing! You’re in public! Save it for the bedroom! What would Mikasa say?!” Armin blushed darkly looking away from us.

Eren looked over at him and growled. “Maybe I would stop if you got rid of your abuser.”

Armin gasped in horror and put his hands on his mouth, “Eren! He is not and you know it! Erwin really loves me and I really love him!”

“Don’t say that about him! He doesn’t deserve you!”

“Why not?!”

“Because he’s older than you, he’s into BDSM and you're barely an adult!”

I flinched and looked away from Eren. Was… that really how he felt about me? My heart raced as I played with the ends of his hair. He didn’t mean it. He’s just angry right now. Still… I was no different from Erwin. He was older. I was into this life style… and Eren hadn’t even made it past middle school. Maybe this was all a mistake.

“You might want to clarify all that with your own boyfriend, Eren. He’s the same.” Armin glared at him.

I felt Eren turn to me quickly and wrap his arms around me and desperately placed kisses on my cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that. I promise. I don’t mind it when it’s you!”

“What did I ever do to you, Eren?” Erwin got out in mock hurt.

I clenched my jaw and looked away. Bastard. How dare he mock us?

“You fucking hurt my boyfriend! You’re dating my best friend! You don’t know the first fucking thing about love! I bet you don’t think about Armin constantly! I bet you don’t get those stupid butterflies when you kiss him! I bet you just see him as a whore because you’re just some fucking user who just treats everyone as their toy-”

I looked over and saw Erwin’s hand raise to hurt Eren. No. My eyes narrowed and my face instantly turned to seriousness as I caught his wrist in my hand before Eren got in harms way. “Get. Out. The only one permitted to scold my pet is me. Don’t you fucking dare try to touch him again.” My voice was laced with venom as I glared up at the blond man. How did I ever love him? Eren was right, Armin didn’t fucking deserve him.

Erwin huffed and after Armin slid off of him he got up. “Come on, my kitten.”

I grabbed Armin’s wrist gently and made him look at me. “I want to talk to you.”

Armin gulped and looked from me to Erwin. He was nervous. Really nervous on what to do. I could tell he was being careful to not make the wrong decision. He really did want to make Erwin happy and that pissed me off even more. Erwin did not deserve this.

“It’s okay. I’ll come pick you up later.” Erwin smiled and ruffled his hair before walking out.

I let go of Armin’s wrist and got up after sliding Eren off me. “Eren, stay here and tend to our guests. Make sure they are all happy and have drinks.”

“Yes, master.” Eren nodded, but in his eyes I could tell he wanted to know what was going to be said. At this moment I didn’t know what was going to be said between me and 

Armin. I just knew I needed to talk to him. He is dating my abusive ex and I need to know… if it was just me he was like that with. It was probably going to sting if it was but I had to gather my courage. I got up, walked us to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and he placed himself neatly next to me. I paused and thought over the words I was going to say.

“You wanted to talk to me, Levi?”

“Yes…” I trailed off and looked up at the ceiling for a while before looking back at him so I could see if he was lying to me or not. If he did I was going to be pissed. I hated liars. “How does Erwin treat you?” I held my breath. This was the moment of truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg... I'm sorry this chapter didn't get up Thursday... I forgot to update it before con... Hope you enjoy anyways and I should be able to get the next chapter out on Friday. :3


	30. Eren's Last Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Levi is staring at me with so much love. Could this night get any better?!_  
>  -Eren

Chapter 30

Wow, you guys are in luck, I found a chapter that Eren had wrote… and I can honestly say I didn’t know about any of this. I didn’t… know he cared that much and I didn’t know he was listening to mine and Armin’s conversation. I just know… I need him now more than ever before… and this chapter made me feel so much better.

~~~

-Eren-

“How does Erwin treat you?” I heard Levi ask through the thin door. I was sitting against it not wanting anyone to interrupt them. I had went around and gave everyone drinks like Levi had asked. I rubbed my thumb over the collar and smiled. Levi needed this. I understood that. I understood he needed a reason on why he couldn’t work with Erwin even if he didn’t want to let go. Levi was a man with little regrets. He didn’t want to regret giving Erwin, no matter how abusive he was, to Armin. When I heard Armin’s answer it settled nicely with me. Maybe I had misunderstood Erwin. I did just hear what little of Levi’s side of the story, after all.

“He treats me fine. You don’t have to worry… he’s the greatest. He always listens to me and he’s always patient… At first he wasn’t. After first he’d go to hit me and try to put me in a corner and stuff like that but I put my foot down. I think you scared him for me.” I heard Armin chuckle and I was glad he was able to laugh with Levi. “Being serious though, I think he is really scared he’s going to get abandon now. I mean, I wouldn’t leave him… because I know how much I mean to him and he means to me… but he’s still shaken up about your break up. What happened?”

There was a pause. A very long pause and I knew I shouldn’t be listening because Levi hadn’t told me this. He has never told me the details of what happened between him and Erwin. Not once. I should get up and leave but I was glued to the ground. I couldn’t. This may be my only chance to hear what happened.

“…How do I put this…” Levi hummed before nodding. “Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do absolutely anything for? That you get those fucking butterflies every time you look at them? Have… Have you ever felt so connected with someone that you’ve always felt safe and warm around them? Have you ever caught yourself thinking about them until the next time you see them and when you do you just want to run to them?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not how I felt around Erwin.” I heard the bedsprings shift, and I assumed Levi laid down to stare at the ceiling to talk to mostly himself. “When I looked at Erwin I saw someone I wanted to surpass. I wanted to fucking do everything he didn’t want me to do just to piss him off. I never got those stupid butterflies and I was always so… I don’t know how to put it… like I was so empty inside? Like… I was just a fucking doll? With me… he always worked in a cycle. I’ve always known it… but I never had a reason to leave. I never had a fucking reason to get the fuck out of the situation for long. Erwin… was a cycle. He always started off trying to pamper me by getting me a new collar or a new leash or just a new shirt… and then after a while he’d start trying to restrict me more by keeping me close to side until I was just able to stay with him. That’s when the abuse started. The smallest things I did he would either go too far with punishments or not listen to a damn thing I said. I never realized how scared I was of him until after I met Eren. The night he was crying and screaming… that was my fault.”

“… What exactly happened? He’s never told me…”

“It’s not my story to tell… just know that he wasn’t the only one suffering that night.”

My heart shattered. What…? I thought… Levi was off somewhere being happy that he wasn’t tied to me… but… he was suffering too? 

“I believe Eren and I share pain. I feel like every time I’m hurting so is he and vice versa. Maybe I’m just over thinking it but that’s just what I believe. That night… I went to the club to tell Erwin it was over, but he had other plans. He strapped me down and started spanking me in a room full of people…” 

I looked down and held my collar. The thought of my Levi being so horribly embarrassed, so not prideful, made me want to go punch Erwin. 

“I couldn’t remember the safe word. I had never used it and that’s why I think our demise was destined from the start but… when I needed that word most I couldn’t remember it.

The word is for emergencies only. If you use it every time you’re uncomfortable it will become meaningless. In my head, I think the person who says the safe word is disappointing the other. That’s why even if I did remember it, I don’t think I would have used it. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Anyways, after that he looked so hurt so I ran and made Eren cry. The next day… I started singing a song I didn’t really know I knew until half way through. It was Eren and mine’s death song. I was singing it to Erwin and that’s when we got in the biggest argument over how I was scared of him and how I didn’t want to be with him. Long story short, I ran out after kneeing his face and didn’t come back for six months. I was so fucked up back then. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone… I just couldn’t control anything and…” 

Levi was scared. He was scared of love. He was scared to be attached to people. That’s why he always ran. I looked down at the ground and shook my head. I couldn’t believe 

Erwin would make him go through all that. Especially after what happened with Petra.

“Why be with Eren if you can’t make him happy?”

“Because I feel completely different with him. I feel like the stupidest high school girl when I’m with him. You know, the girls who think they’ll live forever with their boyfriends and have babies with them and just have this perfect life? I feel that with him. I feel like I can be protected by him and I know he’d never let me hurt him. I know he would never hurt me. I just… really want to be with him forever. I really… he is the perfect guy for me.”

“You must really like him. Your whole face brightened up when you talk about him.” Armin giggled and I knew Levi was rolling his eyes at the little mushroom.

“Shut up. The reason I wanted to talk to you is because I wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into.”

“… Honestly, Levi, I really don’t think Erwin is abusive. I mean… not to be rude, but… I think he was only like that to you because you’re not the type to want to submit like you were supposed to, you know? And he couldn’t control you so it made him go further than you would have liked. It also sounds like you didn’t sit down and talk about all that you were comfortable with and things like that. So, I believe if you would have done things properly it might have worked out… but… honestly why do you care? If you want to be with Eren, Erwin shouldn’t matter to you anymore. He’s your ex and it was a toxic relationship. You have a better life now.”

I looked down and sighed. I probably shouldn’t have been so mean to Erwin. He did come to me and try to give me my collar back. I reached up and fiddled with the teal fabric. Erwin had tried to help me have faith in Levi when they had just broken up. He was… actually sweet. I got up and walked to where Hanji was djing. I tapped her shoulder and leaned into her ear. “Can you give me Erwin’s number? I made a huge mistake… and… I need to fix it.”

Hanji giggled and gave me her phone. I got the number from it and texted him to come and talk to me. After a couple minutes, he replied with a yes. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to say but I needed to say it because I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. I’d accept Armin dating him as long as he was good for him and from what Armin had just said… Erwin didn’t seem like he would hurt him. I had to trust Armin on this. He knew Erwin better than I did.

After ten minutes Levi and Armin joined me on the couch and I debated to tell Levi what I was doing. I sighed and looked up at him. “I’m going to talk to Erwin when he gets here.”

Levi looked away and nodded. I could tell he didn’t want to see Erwin any time soon. Armin’s confession about Erwin probably hurt Levi considering he was so devoted to Erwin… but maybe I could be just as good as Erwin once I got my shit together.

Twenty minutes of silent cuddling, Levi let me go when he saw Erwin. I got up and walked over to him. I never realized how tall and big he was. I wondered how Armin and Levi felt when they were next to him. I’d be terrified.

“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” Erwin suggested and I nodded and walked out to the lawn where the music wasn’t as blaringly loud. We sat down and I moved my skirt so I was still properly covered.

I marveled over my next words before just settling on a simple apology. “I’m sorry for my behavior.”

“…I just don’t understand what I did to make you feel so much malice towards me.”

“I just heard Levi’s side of your story and it sounded like you abused him constantly, and in his eyes you did, but… I was overhearing Armin talking to Levi and… you don’t treat Armin like that… and I understand how yours and Levi’s relationship wound up like that… so I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” I was rambling by this point, and I refused to look up into his eyes because, honestly, I didn’t want to be apologizing. Not to him anyways. 

“… I’m sorry for doing those things to Levi. I really am. If I had known he was ever in pain or uncomfortable with the situation I would have stopped, but he never said no or our safe word.”

“He forgot the safe word.” I muttered playing with the grass a little. Now that Erwin was next to me I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t enjoy the fact he was dating my best friend, but Armin could have wounded up with someone much worse, like horseface.

“… I know… I didn’t know at the time though. I swear, Eren, I would never hurt Armin. He’s made sure plenty of times that I would stop when he said rose… and I think that’s why he’s trusted me enough to give me his virginity.”

Gross. Was that how Armin felt when he found out that I wasn’t a virgin? That I had given myself to an older guy? “…Why rose?”

“Armin likes roses and when I had asked him out I gave him a rose.”

That was sweet. Bastard. That was way better than how Levi and I got together. “…How do you even pick a safe word?”

“Levi hasn’t given you guys one yet?”

“He’s left it up to me so I could remember it better.”

“Just pick a word you normally wouldn’t say during sex.” Erwin tried to help looking up at the sky. “For us, Levi choose wings because he likes birds so much and the first time we met I was chasing after him in 3DMG…”

I looked over at him in interest. “You’ve had dreams too?”

“Yeah. They came about when I met Levi. Apparently he got them for the first time too. Though he always complained because he couldn’t see half the people in it. He met the others along the way, but there was always one blob he hadn’t met but he knew the song that went with that person. He knew his death song.”

My eyes widened. That was our song. I looked down and gulped. “Erwin…? Do you know how to play piano?”

“Yes?”

“Could you… maybe… teach me how to play that song? I’m sorry if that’s asking too much… but… I’ve been wanting to do something special for him for a while and… that was our song.”

Erwin looked to the side and sighed. “I don’t know… that song was the birth of you and Levi… it was the reason he left me back then and it was the reason he left me now. He… sang that song right before he left.”

I looked down and nodded. “I understand… I had to ask though.” I chuckled though I was disappointed. Levi was so amazing on the piano and I wanted to be just as amazing. I wanted to sing to him just as he sang to me every time I came over almost. He was so passionate and… I was a little jealous that he could play something so beautifully. I wonder if he would like it if I sang that song to him. He probably would. Levi seemed like a secret romantic. 

“But… if it means that much to you I don’t see why not. I mean, I do owe it to Levi for not having a proper relationship with him.” Erwin gave in and sighed. I think he was a softie when it came to little boys being sad. That’s probably how Armin wound up getting the fuck spoiled out of him. Erwin, I was beginning to realize, was pretty cute.

“Really?!”

“Yeah.”

“And you won’t tell Levi?”

“Not a word.”

I smiled and hugged him tightly. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I want to impress him so much!”

“… but… if you hurt him, Eren, I won’t hesitate to make the rest of your life a living hell.” He glared at me and I could tell… he really did love Levi. Now and then. Erwin would always be in my life, that’s why I had to learn to get along with him. For Armin’s sake and Levi’s. If Levi can forgive him then so could I. 

“Understood! And if you hurt Armin I’m going to make sure to ruin yours too!” I hissed but I was in a playful mood now so I wasn’t intimidating at all.

Erwin laughed and hugged me back. “You’re so eager to make him happy.”

“Of course. He’s my master. I must always make him happy.” And when I said it, I knew that this collar meant everything. That Levi’s and mine relationship was far deeper than anyone else’s. I had physically given my heart, soul and mind to him.

Erwin’s eyes shined and he seemed to relax. He must have realized how serious I was about Levi. He patted my head and nodded. “You might want to get back to him then.”

I nodded and ran inside the apartment again. I found Levi talking to Hanji, sipping some wine. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him, licking his cheek. “Woof.”

Levi turned to me and his hard expression softened and a small smile came to his lips. “Well, hello, pup. How was your conversation with Erwin?”

“It went great… I… I apologized for my behavior.”

“Good boy.” I watched Levi set down his drink and turn to me. “Can I dance with you, my adorable puppy?” He held out his hand for me to take and I couldn’t possibly refuse. I grabbed his hand and then I realized that all eyes were on us. Everyone was whispering about how great we looked together despite Armin and Erwin dancing. We were the couple everyone had their eyes on. Maybe… we had won that stupid competition that I decided to have by myself. It didn’t matter anymore though. With Levi’s full attention directed at me, I couldn’t be any happier.


	31. Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night to remember when Eren leaves without a single word.

Chapter 31

-Levi-

When everyone finally left, I started doing tonight’s make up when Eren pawed at my back. “Can’t I come?”

I sighed. This was probably the fifth time he’s asked. “You know I could get in a shit ton of trouble if I let you.”

“Yeah… but… I miss you.”

“We danced all fucking night. You can’t miss someone you’re with.”

“…Please, Levi?”

I glanced back at him before I could stop myself and regretted it because I accidentally poked my eye with my eyeliner. “OW! Fuck!” I hissed throwing the pencil to the side to quickly wash out my eye with water.

“I’m sorry, Levi! I won’t distract you anymore! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Eren panicked while throwing a towel at me and rubbing at my shoulders. Damn kid.

“I’m fine. Calm down.” I put the towel to my eye and dried it before looking at myself in the mirror. My eye was red and irritated as to be expected. I sighed and decided to just wash my other eye off too so I didn’t risk irritating them more. I walked out to my room and got dressed in a black lacy corset, a white mini skirt, and black boots that gave me two inches in height. My thigh high socks were held up by garter belts that I could see Eren salivating over. I smirked and ruffled his hair. “What are you going to wear?”

“Something cute! It’s cross dressing night, right? So, maybe a skirt and a tank top.”

I walked over to him and held his chin. “This is an order. Do not take your collar off tonight. At all. Do you understand me?”

I saw the visible gulp before Eren nodded. “Yeah. Why not though?”

“Because it’s going to be packed and if you wear your collar you won’t get touched as much. I know you can defend yourself, but this will ensure that hardly anyone will touch you. Don’t take it off no matter what.”

“Yes, corporal.”

That sent a bolt of pleasure straight to my cock. Damn, I haven’t heard him say that since back then. I traced my thumb over his cheek and nodded. “Good, pup.”

He smiled brightly and hugged me tightly. “I’m a good puppy!”

He was too cute and I couldn’t wait to play with him tonight. I got him a blue skirt and a black tank top with matching thigh highs and flat shoes. I definitely wasn’t going to wear something with a wedge to gain height just for him to mess that up.

“Ready?” He asked me while running his hands through my hair.

“Yeah.” I nodded and walked out to the car where I got in and waited for him to get situated in the passenger seat. I couldn’t help but think about everything we’ve done so far and I was happy that we haven’t had many fights. I backed out and began the short ride to the Chain.

“Levi…I know we got that deal… but… can I move in with you?”

I clutched the wheel and didn’t meet his gaze. I didn’t know what to say to that. I wanted him to. I honestly did, but I didn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket. What if this didn’t last? What if… What if this turned out exactly like how Erwin and I turned out? I gulped and continued to look ahead.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you tense. I just… I was just thinking that I hate not seeing you through the week and… Mikasa keeps asking where I go on the weekends and… I don’t know.”

“How about I go meet Mikasa then sometime? I’ve been wanting to meet this famous sister of yours anyways.” I wanted to change the subject because I honestly couldn’t say yes or no to the kid. I wanted him to move in, but it was such a huge risk. What if this didn’t end well? Then I would have to see him go. I’d have to see the house empty.

“You can come over next weekend for a change and see here then! She has like no life aside from her horrible girlfriend so you can!” Eren sounded giddy then seconds later he was holding my arm tightly and looking up at me with beaming eyes.

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah. You know I’m free on the weekends.” I always made sure I was free on the weekends for Eren to drop by. Weekdays were too stressful for the kid to stop by and we had odd hours, so the weekend was our time to be with each other for the amount of time we wanted. It worked out nicely and I was happy nothing has gotten in the way of that thus far.

“Thank you, Levi! This means a lot!”

“I know it does. That’s why I want to do it.” If he couldn’t meet my family then I could at least meet his.

“When can I meet your family?”

Fuck. There goes the plan. “Never.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him flinch and look to the side. “Okay…”

“It’s not because I don’t want you to. It’s because… they’re… not suitable to be meeting someone.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about my past, Eren.” After the snap came out I instantly regretted it. I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but I didn’t want Eren to know anything about what I have done in the past either. It was just too… unlike me. I didn’t want to bring up old memories. I didn’t want… to remember the life I’ve lived as a teenager.

“…Sorry…” He muttered and leaned away from me to look out the window.

I sighed and parked the car before turning to him and holding his hand. “Hey… I didn’t mean to snap at you… my past is just sensitive… you know how I told you about the two friends that died when I was a teenager?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… what lead up to that I don’t want to talk about and I know my fucking parents would love to just fucking spill everything to you. I’m sorry I can’t tell you… I just can’t afford to lose the way you see me now. I don’t want you to hold my past against me.” Honestly, a part of me knew Eren would never do that. I knew he would never judge me for something I’ve done in my past, but another part of me knew I couldn’t risk it no matter how little chance there was of it happening. “I’m sorry, pup.”

“It’s okay.” Eren smiled and leaned against me again. “I’m just glad I didn’t fuck up.”

“You could never fuck up, Eren. You know me. You know what will piss me off. As long as you don’t do those things then you’ll never fuck up. I’ll always love you. Do you understand that? This collar means everything to me and it should mean everything to you.”

“It does… please don’t take it away from me again.” Eren whispered holding it tightly. Then he nuzzled me and held me close. “I’ll follow your rules, master.”

“I could never take it away from you again. I’m head over heels in love with you… and I want you to follow more than just my rules. I want you to always be loyal to me. I hate liars and I hate cheaters. You should have realized that by now.”

“I know, Levi. I know. I’m never going to leave you for anyone else. I’ll forever be your little puppy.” He undid his seat belt and got in my lap licking my chin.

I smiled and held him close, nuzzling my face into his hair. He always knew how to cheer me up. I really don’t deserve him. I kissed his head and ran my hands up and down his strong back. “I’d hate to ruin this but I need to get on stage, if that’s okay with you?”

“That’s okay as long as no one gets too handsy.”

“No one ever does. I’m wearing a collar which means I’m taken.”

Eren traced the green collar and smiled. “Did you purposely match it to my eyes?”

“They are my favorite feature.” I smirked and got out then went around and opened his door, allowing him to step out. I locked the car and then walked into the Chain by the backway. The room we walked into was the dressing room. I put my phone and keys in my locker before giving Eren a cd. “Give that to Hanji for me please.”

“Yes, master.” Eren smiled and kissed me softly before walking out of the room. I hung around until I heard the Hanji give a welcome to everyone. The night had begun. I smiled and made sure everything was on me correctly before grabbing my favorite riding crop.

“Ladies and gents, welcome to the Chain! Now, for your pleasuring entertainment tonight we have in store for you the one, the only, Corporal!” The music started playing and I strutted out. I needed this. I needed this attention. I felt powerful. I felt exotic.

I looked out and found the green eyes that stared at me intensely. Fuck, I could just feel those hot hands on my cold skin. I rolled my hips around and started mouthing the words.

_I just found out that I’m fucking with a bad dog,_

_But the beast in me she know how to train a bad dog,_

_Woof! Like a bad dog. Sit! And be a good dog,_

_Or I’ma put you down. Bang. Bang. Like a bad dog,_

I had my pointer finger out and thumb up in a shape of a gun and shot at Eren before putting my pointer finger up to my lips and blowing on it, my hips still shaking and rolling. I saw how Eren was blushing like an idiot and leaning on the bar counter. Tonight, I was going to make him mine and I didn’t give a fuck who got in our way. I ran my hands down my bodies and put the crop in my mouth. I closed my eyes and rocked my hips against the pole in the middle of the stage, getting hard from both friction and Eren’s eyes on me. I took the crop out of my mouth and slapped my hand with the top making a loud smacking noise. I could hear people giving me cat calls and whistles and I loved it.

I decided to tease them by dropping the crop and running my hands up my shirt to play with my chest, my face turning red as I continued to buck my hips. This was too hot. I strutted out closer to the edge of the stage when I saw some people holding out ones for me. I stuck out my leg for them and let them put them in my garter belt, letting leather smack against my legs each time. Each time they did it earned a moan from me. That’s when I saw him. Eren was standing by the edge on the side holding out a dollar. I walked over to him and shook off my shirt before placing it on his shoulder before kissing his head. “Fucking shove that money down my skirt.”

“Fuck, Levi~” Eren moaned and shoved the money down my skirt and slid his hands down my legs before I strutted away and started rolling against the pole. I kept dancing until the song ended. I was sweaty and gross but I couldn’t wait to pull Eren close to me. I walked into the changing room back stage and a couple seconds later Eren was walking in and handing me my shirt.

“You were amazing.”

“Aren’t I always?” I smirked and put my shirt on before pulling him close and kissing him deeply. I ran my hands up his back and he leaned into my touch before leaning away and holding me tightly.

“Do you have any more shifts tonight?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to take it.”

“Are you really that turned on, Eren?”

“You have no idea, Levi.”

“I promise to make the wait worth it at the end of this night.” I smirked and ran my hands up his arms. They continued to go up until they reached his collar. I went on my tiptoes a little and kissed the fabric. “I love you, Eren, and if you let me, I think it’s about time you lose your virginity.”

“Levi, I’m so ready. I’ve been ready for a long time.” Eren whispered out breathlessly, desperately, his hands moving down my back and resting on my hips. “Do you know how to top?”

I growled and rolled my eyes. “You’ve seen our dreams. I think I know how to pretty damn well.” Our dreams were so passionate… so mind blowing. I hoped they were setting us up for failure now. What if I couldn’t pleasure Eren the way he wanted me to? What if I wasn’t good enough? What if… he hated me after tonight? I quickly brushed these thoughts away before they ruined my plans for tonight.

Eren laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe you’ve gotten rusty being with that dick for so long.”

“Trust me, kid, sessions with him always pressed my limits which is not a good thing when it comes to our relationships. Both parties have to be consensual and comfortable. I was only half that.” I whispered wanting him to know that he was so much better than Erwin. Erwin and I would never be possible now that I had Eren in my life. I leaned in and kissed him softly. When I was introduced again, I had to hurry and get dressed again and Eren walked back out to the audience.

~~~

-Eren-

I walked out back to my seat and someone from behind me held me close. I jumped and looked up to see Erwin. I instantly relaxed and elbowed him away. “Off. What are you doing here?”

“You wanted to do some piano lessons right?”

“Yeah…?”

“Then come on. I’m free tonight.”

“What about Armin?”

“He wanted to go home and make sure Mikasa was okay since she’s been getting lonely lately since you both spend your weekends at your boyfriends’ houses.” Erwin chuckled and I sighed.

“Fine. Let’s get started. But I have to be back by the time Levi gets off.” I wanted to impress Levi more than anything in the world. I wanted to surprise him. I got up and walked out to Erwin’s car. I spent the next two hours being taught different keys and notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is a day late, but I honestly didn't feel like writing yesterday, so at least I got it up today! Thank you so much for the comments and support!


	32. Red Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The first time we made love in the present... it was certainly rememberable._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 32

“Where were you?” I asked once more but he wouldn’t tell me. I didn’t want to think badly of him but the more he resisted in telling me the more I was beginning to think badly. I mean… he wouldn’t actually go and cheat on me… would he? I mean, he was just gone for a couple hours but… maybe I just needed to sleep on it.

Eren moved over and held my arm causing me to stop driving with it. I didn’t mind. He nuzzled me and kissed my arm. “It’s not what it looks like. I’m not cheating on you or anything. I’m just… I’m doing something for you and it needs to be remained a secret.”

That… sounded like complete and utter shit. He didn’t sound convincing at all and it’s not that I didn’t want to believe him. I did. I desperately did… but… who would do something for me? It didn’t make sense. He leaned over and kissed my cheek and then went down my jaw.

“Don’t look so pissed… I swear I’m not lying. It’ll all make sense later. For now though… can you do all those dirty things you said you were going to do to me?”  
I glanced over at him before looking back at the road. “Maybe… I’m tired…”

“…You were so excited to get in me before…” I could hear the pain in his voice and knew I was fucking up but… I didn’t know if I was ready for this. I didn’t know… I glanced over at him and I knew I was. I had been waiting for this for forever. I needed to put my insecurities in the back of my mind for now and strengthen our relationship a little bit more by doing this.

“In the morning. Please? I was dancing extra hard for you.”

Eren chuckled and nodded. “Fine. I’ll let it slide to the morning just because you’re being cheesy.” He kissed my cheek and I physically relaxed.

“Heh, thanks. I didn’t mean to be though, you little shit.”

“Oh, you’re so romantic,” and there was that giggle that I fucking loved. He nuzzled me and yawned himself. “I think I agree with you though. It has been a long day of partying, competing with Erwin, and dancing… I think we deserve a break.”

“Speaking of competing with Erwin, that went fucking great. I highly doubt you’re going to be able to break them up though…” I tried to slip in that two cents in as gently as I could.

“I will. Armin deserves way better. Hell, fucking horseface is better than that jerk.”

“…Erwin isn’t so bad…” I sighed, but I knew he was. I glanced over again and Eren was giving me that “are-you-fucking-kidding-me” face. I sighed and decided to give in because I didn’t have any evidence to back Erwin up. “Okay, yeah, he’s a complete power hungry bastard, but Armin is a big boy and he can make his own decisions don’t you think?”

“Armin is a little mushroom that needs protecting and nurturing.” Eren defended and crossed his arms sitting back in his seat. “I just don’t like the idea of that pervert doing who knows what to him. Armin is a gentle creature and it is completely unfair to do that with him when he probably doesn’t understand what he’s even getting himself into. Did you know what you were doing when you first started being with him?”

“…Kind of. Erwin just told me what he wanted me to do and if I had any abjections then to tell him.” I sighed, I didn’t want to talk about this. Erwin was in the past and… I don’t understand how it even matters now. “Erwin learns from his mistakes, Eren. It’s fine. Armin will be okay. I’ve talked to him. Erwin seems fine with him. Trust me.”

“I just don’t like him being with Armin…”

“Do you think Armin likes you being with me? I’m older, into BDSM, and-”

“I get it… I get that I’m being a hypocrite but…” Eren sighed and leaned against me. “I just don’t like how Erwin is… He’s abusive.”

“He was abusive to me. That just means we weren’t meant to be together. We weren’t good for each other. Erwin is kind though. Despite everything he done to me I knew deep down he really did care.”

“… Are you sure Armin will be okay?”

I pulled up to my apartment and turned to him after putting the car in park. I held his cheek sand kissed his head. “I’m sure you just need to trust my judgment.”

“I will…” Eren nodded and wrapped his arms around my shoulders before leaning forward and kissing me.

I felt like electric was going through me. Every time we kissed I felt like I was on cloud nine. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close as I tilted my head and deepened the kiss. I ran my hands down to his ass and squeezed it tightly.

“Oh!” Eren gasped and blushed. He leaned away and bit his lip. “… Can… Can we go to your room?”

“Fucking hell, kid… you are not smooth what so ever. I was going to set the damn mood and you go and blow it.” I chuckled and nodded before getting out. I walked to the front door and unlocked it. I was pushed in by Eren and he shut the door behind him only to push me on the couch, kissing me deeply.

I’ve never seen him like this. It was so hot. He was so dominate as he ran his hands all over me. I grabbed his hair in handfuls and pulled on the strands harshly. I took dominance of the kiss and nibbled, bit and licked his bottom lip. Eren was going crazy.

I leaned away and panted before kicking him off me. I got up and picked him up. I walked him to my room and threw him on my twin bed. I grabbed some rope, and pressed his chest in the bed. “This okay with you?” I asked while I tied his wrists together by creating a handcuff with the rope.

“This is completely fine…” Eren got out in a soft breath.

“… Have you picked out a safe word? If you haven’t I’m not doing anything more than this to you.”

“Lucky.”

“Lucky? Are you kidding me? How is being pushed to your ultimate limits lucky?” I was shocked he’d pick something like that. I quickly untied him and pulled him up to stare at him. I /hated/ that word honestly. It always sent a shiver down my spine for whatever reason.

“Because,” He smiled up at me and wrapped his arms around me, “I’m lucky to be with you and for you to be so understanding.”

“No. Denied. Think of a different one.” I didn’t want him to think that he was /lucky/ to get a safe word. I didn’t want him to think that he was /lucky/ to be hurt. That wasn’t what this was about.

“Ugh… This is hard, Levi… I don’t know… you’re more creative.”

“…what… about…red light?”

“Red light?”

“You know because when you’re driving you stop at a red light? It’d be easy to remember.”

Eren smiled and nodded. “That sounds good…” He curled his hands into fists and pawed at my thigh. “Tie me up again, master? It felt really good.”

I nodded and pushed him down again before quickly tying the rope how I had it before. I leaned down and kissed him frantically before putting his shirt over his head and bringing it down until it was just above the rope and trailed my kisses down. I looked up at him to see dazzling eyes and smirked as I continued to make my way down his body. His body was so hot to the touch and smooth. I loved the caramel skin. I loved every inch of him. I put my hands on his skirt and looked up at him, his cheeks red and his chest falling and raising heavily. “You sure?”

“Yes, puppy wants your cock, master…” He said cutely as he looked down at me pleadingly. I couldn’t believe he said that to me. It made me all the more excited. I took off his skirt and panties before stopping and looking down at his body. It was muscular but not as muscular as I was. It was lean and perfect. I ran my fingers across his abs to make him shiver. I could tell he wasn’t going to last long. I leaned down and kissed him, our tongues fighting for dominance. I put my hands in his hair, playing with the ends. I leaned away and got up to get out of my own clothing making sure he could see everything.

“Oh… fuck… you’re gorgeous. You’re better than what I imagined.”

I smirked and walked back over to the bed where I slipped on top of him and grabbed the lube. “You, little pup, are about to have the best night of your life.”

“I don’t doubt it.” He panted and I saw him struggle with the ropes.

“Those too tight?”

“No, I just want to touch you…”

“You can touch me as much as you want later. I promise. Right now, I want to control everything.” This was what I have been missing. This is what I’ve been wanting to do since the beginning. I’ve wanted this control. It made me feel like a cage bird that just got released. I could tell… after all this… we were going to have a very deep dream tonight.

“I’m giving you control of everything. I trust you, Levi…” He whispered and spread his legs a little shyly.

I smiled. He was cute. I leaned down and kissed him. “Don’t be nervous. I know what I’m doing.”

“Have you ever topped before?”

“Not with a guy. But prep is the same for both boy and girl so it’s fine. You’re going to be okay. Just take deep breaths, okay?”

“Okay.” Eren breathed in and out before spreading his legs enough for me to be in between them. “Okay.”

I leaned down and kissed his stomach. “It’ll hurt for only a couple minutes and then I swear it’ll be pleasurable. I promise… you can handle it.”

“I know… I know… please…”

I sighed and reached over to grab the lube from my tableside drawer and coated some of my fingers with it before circling his entrance and sliding a finger inside. He was impossibly tight.

Eren flinched and bit his lip. I leaned down and kept kissing different parts of him wanting to relax every tense muscle. I didn’t like seeing him in pain. I didn’t want him to be in pain, but he had to be for a couple minutes. I whispered sweet words to him.

“You’ll be okay.”

“You’re going to get through this.”

“I love you.”

“You can trust me.”

“I’ll never put you through something I know you can’t handle.”

“After this first time it’ll come easier.”

“I won’t ask for this often if you hate it.”

“I’m not going to hate it since it’s going to be you who’s doing it, Levi.” He spoke up in a raspy voice. He had opened his eyes a little to look down at me. “You don’t have to keep giving me encouragements… I can handle it… you already have so many fingers in me.”

I looked down and noticed I already had three fingers in him. I was so focused on calming him I hadn’t noticed that I was slowly slipping finger after finger in him. “Are you sure you’re okay, pup? I don’t want to continue if this-”

“I’m fine, Levi. Stop worrying. I’ll tell you if I can’t take it. I want this. I want to do this with you. I want… to do this with only you. Please, stop worrying. I want you to enjoy yourself. Don’t hold back.” Eren smiled and I knew I was overreacting by this point. I was letting my past relationship get in the way of my relationship now.

I thrust into him and instantly see stars. He was so perfect. I closed my eyes and moaned softly while I drowned in his own moans. It wasn’t long until he was begging for me to do more and I did. I started to thrust into him while I kept his hips up, my nails digging into his hips.

“Look at me, Levi… please…” He whimpered in between his moans. I was hitting his prostate dead on. I could tell by the way he was shaking and wrapping his legs around me tightly. We were so close. We were so intimate. As soon as I laid eyes on him I knew that we were so close. Closer than what I ever thought was possible. It wasn’t because we were doing this one act. Anyone can have sex. No, we were making love. That drove me on to pound into him which caused him to scream out more. I leaned down and leaned him up and kissed him, feeling like this was where I belonged. With this one person. I felt complete. 

It wasn’t long until Eren was coming all over our stomachs and chests. I bit my lip because he was impossibly tight now and the heat became too much and I released in him. It dawned on me then that I should have used a condom, but I honestly didn’t care. A quick shower never hurt anyone and the sheets were white. I panted and slipped out of, falling down next to him. That… was mind blowing.

“Levi…” I turned to stare at Eren, “untie me…”

I chuckled and sat up, quickly untying him before picking him up. “Come on, let’s get us in the shower where we can get clean and then you can cuddle me all you want. Deal?”

“Deal.” Eren chuckled.

I walked him into the bathroom and sat him down in the tub. I fiddled with the faucets before thoroughly cleaning us off. I wrapped us in towels once I was done and walked out to change the sheets quickly, while Eren found us some pajamas. We got into the warm cotton fabric quickly and both collapsed on the bed. I closed my eyes and sighed when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and a head lay on my chest. I chuckled when I thought of how his feet were probably hanging off the end of the bed.

He looked up at me curiously before shaking his head and smiling. “I love you.”

And those were the sweetest, kindest words I ever wanted to hear right now. I stroked his hair and stared down into vibrant eyes before kissing him softly. “I love you too, Eren. In every meaning of the word. I love you.”

This… This right here… was my favorite moment between us.


	33. Meeting Mikasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Mikasa... joy..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 33

_I love your eyes._

~~~

It had been two weeks after our first time when I really started getting suspicious of Eren. He was always asking Erwin for rides and I know that’s pretty normal, but then he would ask me to pick him up from Erwin’s to take him home if Erwin couldn’t for whatever reason. It was all fucking suspicious since Eren “hated” him. I didn’t believe that for a single second anymore. In fact, he had shut up about Erwin and Armin’s relationship all together and was being a great pal to them. Whatever. I hoped Armin wouldn’t be too hurt when he found out his best friend was betraying him to fuck with his boyfriend. I should just end it now… but… I couldn’t. I wanted to make sure before I accused him. I hated cheaters. I hated them with a passion. I honestly shouldn’t even be giving Eren this much slack… but I wanted this to work out. I didn’t want to be hurt by another person I had allowed inside my walls.

“Levi? You passed my house…”

“Hmm?”

“You passed the turn to my house.” Eren chuckled and held my waist tightly as he looked up at me. “Are you nervous to meet Mikasa?”

“Oh, no… Sorry. I just zoned out there for a moment.” I turned into a random driveway and backed out going the other way. I parked in front of Eren’s apartment building and got out the flowers I had bought for Mikasa, despite Eren telling me I didn’t need to because they wouldn’t affect her views on me in any way. I still wanted to get her some. As a token of my gratitude if she allowed me to be with Eren. I wasn’t going to let her stop me… but… I’d rather her accept me than reject me.

I got out, locked the doors to my car and walked Eren in. Apparently when he told his sister that he had lied about Jean and him dating that also caused a big flaw in Armin’s plan so he had to tell her about Erwin. And apparently since they both lied, Mikasa knew that they were hiding something big and thus led us to this point. She wanted to meet Erwin and me pronto. As much as I wanted to meet her alone, without my ex sitting across the table from me, I wasn’t going to bitch about it. That much. “When is Erwin going to be here?”

“Six.”

It was 5:30 now. I wanted to arrive a little earlier just to get her embarrassing questions out of the way. Eren had warned me about her and I really didn’t want Erwin listening in on the answers. Eren walked out and I slowly followed, wiping my feet and taking my shoes off at the door so I wouldn’t ruin the freshly mopped floors.

“Mikasa! Levi’s here!”

“You’re early! Eren, I told you six!”

“Sorry, that would be my fault. I thought I’d come early.” It actually was Eren’s idea to come early just so I could get comfortable faster in the house before Erwin came, but I didn’t want Eren to be in the doghouse all night just because of me.

“I heard of being early, but this-” She stopped midsentence when she saw the purple blue flowers I had gotten her.

I held them out to her and smiled. She was wearing a black dress with a red scarf. It was cute and she could pull it off nicely. I actually found myself liking it. She had short black hair and pretty gray eyes.

“Wow, you guys look similar.”

“We must have a similar background.” I chuckled as she put the flowers in a vase.

“I hope you aren’t allergic to anything or are vegan or whatever… because I’m making breaded chicken breasts, a Caesar salad, and rolls. I’m not much of a cook though. Armin is the cook around here.”

“Sounds perfect. Need any help? I’m not that great, but… I can try.” 

“Don’t be modest, Levi. Your food is better than Armin’s.” Eren said from the couch in the living room looking at us by sitting on it backwards.

“It is not.” I argued but Mikasa just handed over the poorly breaded chicken breasts and the limp salad. This… really was shit. I could maybe save the salad… maybe.

“Here. You’ll probably be better at it than I am. Anyways, how old are you?”

Ah, the questions begin. “Thirty four. Thirty five in December.”

“What made you want my brother?”

“…Ummm…how do I explain this to where it’s not creepy as fuck… ummm… I saw him in a dream… but it wasn’t a dream. It was the past. I kept seeing him around town as well and we just started talking, I guess. It turned out he really liked me and I really liked him and we just clicked. It was nothing pervy like I wanted his body or anything like that.” Though I did want it now. In the two weeks that followed our first time we were always on top of each other now. Always being really close. It was like we suddenly got clingy to one another. I think we realized how much we had to lose now and so we didn’t want to be with anyone. That’s probably why I was getting super paranoid about him always being with Erwin.

“Why did you give my brother a collar? Is he your pet or something?”

Fuck. I didn’t want to answer this question. I _really_ didn’t want to answer this question. “No, it’s not like that. It’s… ummm… a collar to me represents commitment… I’ve had some problems with relationships in the past so I wanted Eren to know how committed I was to him.” It wasn’t the full truth, but it was the most innocent way I could put it. It worked because she didn’t look as pissed as she had prior. I began trying to save the lettace after I properly breaded the chicken. She was close to getting all this right, but it still needed work.

“Have you two had sex?”

I knew right then that Eren was beaming bright red. I gulped and tried to figure out if I should lie or just tell the truth. I hated liars… but if it was necessary… I knew it wasn’t though. I wasn’t dying so I had to tell the truth to save myself from lying and hating myself. “Yes.”

“Did you use protection? Do you have any perverted toys?”

“I honestly don’t see in reason why I should tell you any of those two things.”

“Because I’m his sister and I need to protect him.”

“…” I groaned nodded. “Fine. I didn’t use protection though I do have some condoms lying around. Considering we’re both clean though and both male, I don’t really think that matters. And… I do have a couple toys but I haven’t tried them on him.” Fuck that was embarrassing. I was really glad that Armin wasn’t around to hear it. I felt bad for Eren since he was going to have to go through this twice.

“How many partners have you had in the past and how many have you slept with?”

I gulped. That was another complicated question. I wanted to remain truthful though thinking she’d like me a lot better if I did. That’s probably the most sensible way to go. “I’ve been married once. She was my second partner. I had sex with her… and… I had like this fuck buddy… who you will meet later… and as the title entitles yeah we did it.”

“Why did you break up with them?”

I didn’t want to talk about this. Not to her. I turned away and began cutting up a new salad, hoping Eren would save me from saying the sentence I always hated saying.  
“Mikasa, aren’t you asking too personal questions?” Eren piped up getting up and walking over to me, rubbing my back a little. “I mean, why does it matter?”

“I want to know why he would break up with them and if he’d break up with you for the same reason.” She said and I got her point, but I didn’t want to talk about Petra to someone I just met.

“He will answer any other question, but that one.” Eren said firmly causing me to glance at him to see the dominant glare he held on his sister. I was… actually kind of impressed. He would stand up for me. That made my heart swell up and I had to get back to what I was doing before I kissed him, all the worries from earlier leaving my mind.

“Why not that one?”

“Because things just don’t work out. That’s all. There’s no deeper meaning. Now, drop it.” His voice sent a chill down my spine. It was authoritative. One that I hadn’t heard from Eren.

“… Fine…” When she dropped the subject, Eren squeezed my shoulders and walked back to where he was leaning on the back of the couch, facing us.

“So… why did you fail me?”

“I didn’t fail you and I held nothing against you. You just turned in shit for papers. You never had any real emotion to your papers. They were all dry, boring and factual. You didn’t care what you were fighting for and that is the reason I gave you Cs. If you would have come to me and asked why I would have told you, but instead you bitched to the whole school about me.”

“I still don’t like you.”

“Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual then.” I wished Erwin would get there soon just so I wouldn’t be on the spotlight anymore. I was tired of her attitude.

The fucking universe must have liked me today because there was a knock at the door as soon as I thought that and then I heard Armin’s voice yell, “To let him in because he forgot his key.” The chicken was in the oven.

I walked over to the couch and plopped down glad she was onto her next victim. 

Eren turned to me and smiled, placing his hand on my knee and squeezing it. “You did good.”

“It would be “I did well” not “good”.” I explained pinching at his cheek a little. “Have you been studying?”

“Yeah. I know a lot more words now. I think in a month or so I’ll be able to just sound out most common words.”

“I expect you to be sounding words out now.”

“I will. Promise.” He chuckled and then Erwin ruffled my hair. I instantly wanted to vomit.

“How’s my favorite little dancer?”

“Shut the fuck up, Erwin. You are not ruining this night for me.”

“Why not? Do you really want to impress Mikasa that badly?”

“No. I just don’t want to be in a fucking bad mood all night just because you felt like teasing me.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. Erwin’s presence just seemed to piss me off. I felt that hand on my knee squeeze again and I relaxed.

“Oh, you two know each other?” Mikasa asked and everyone in the room looked at each other before shrugging.

“This was the fuck buddy I told you about.”

“Oh! That’s…” She trailed off before turning. She was going to say it was awkward, and truthfully it was. Especially since he was oh so nice to mushroom over there while he was an asshole to me, but then I felt that hand on me and I knew it wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t that awkward because I could just focus on Eren and his sister tonight. Erwin and Armin didn’t matter as long as I didn’t make them matter. I snuggled into Eren.

“You okay?” He asked me softly, rubbing my leg in a comforting manner that I just melted into. He was too good to me and I didn’t deserve him. 

“I’m fine, pup. Don’t worry.” Levi reached over and held Eren close. “I just want this day to be over.” I really did. It was a Friday night. I was tired. I hadn’t showered and I was still in my work clothes. Eren had come to work with me today to meet everyone and help me with some documents I needed to take care of. He also wanted to brush me up on some common things about Mikasa. Like how protective and embarrassing she was.

Eren smiled and kissed my cheek, poking his tongue out a little and licking me when no one was noticing. “Am I a good pup?”

I nodded and wiped his kiss away in irritation. I liked it when he did it but I didn’t like the feeling of drying saliva on my face. “You’re good.”

I felt someone looming over us and when I looked back I saw Mikasa glaring down at us. “What type of stuff are you into?! Eren is not a dog!”

“I’m into a lot of things. It ranges from pet play to cross dressing to wax play and everything in between.”

“Wh…What?!”

“What’s wax play?” Eren asked looking up at me with big eyes.

“It’s when you burn a candle and let the wax drip on your partner.”

“That sounds painful…” Eren whispered rubbing his arms.

“You’re not planning on doing that with Eren are you?!” Mikasa shrill voice was really getting on my goddamn nerves. Who gave her the right to tell us what to do in our own relationship?

“I’ll only plan it if Eren is comfortable with it. It wouldn’t be until the far future when he’s used to all the plays I’ll put him through if he lets me.”

“I will. I wanna be a good boy.” Eren smiled happily, wiggling his hips a little in eagerness.

Fuck. This kid was going to be the death of me. This night was going to be the death of me. I glanced over and saw Armin blushing a bright red and sitting in Erwin’s lap. Which reminded me of Eren’s rules.

“Oi.”

“Hmmm?” Eren asked looking over at me.

“When we get home… expect your first punishment.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he instantly knew what for judging from him quickly getting on the ground. I didn’t care that I was getting an earful from Mikasa. Eren whimpered and nuzzled my legs. “Forgive me…”

“I will later.”

“…Okay…” He whispered fiddling with my shoestrings. I felt bad.


	34. Mikasa's Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Holy fuck this was not what I was expecting._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 34

It was dinner in the Yeager household when Erwin finally got interrogated. We had just filled our plates when Mikasa asked the first question. And I knew, this was going to be a lot of trouble for me. I had forgotten Erwin knew everything about me. My knee started bouncing when he started answering the one question I didn’t want to get into: why did I break up with Erwin?

Erwin shifted uncomfortably for a second before answering. “Because he loved another. He collared another.”

“Did he collar you?”

“No. Because I was the master in the relationship he was the pet.”

My eyes widened and everything at the table turned silent. I glared over at Erwin and Eren cowered beside me a little while Mikasa turned and glared at us.

“You said he wasn’t your pet!”

“Levi calls Eren his puppy. Of course he’s a pet.” Erwin tattled like a child and I kicked his shin under the table. I was glad Eren was between me and Mikasa, who was at the head of the table, because she looked like she would have punched me right there.

“Okay, fine, he’s like a pet. But a treasured pet that I love very much. He’s still a person in my mind and I still treat him with the same amount of respect I would anyone else, the only difference is during our play I like him to act like a dog.”

“You’re sick!”

“Erwin calls Armin his kitten. Erwin collared Armin. I don’t see why you’re only pissy about me. I never did shit to you.” I hissed.

“You’re both sick!” Mikasa glared at Erwin and crossed her arms. “Eren! Armin! I can’t believe you would choose such freaks to be your boyfriends!”

“That’s enough, Mikasa! Levi has been trying all night to stay on your good side but you’re letting his fetishes get in the way of that!” Eren was fuming and I could tell. I reached out to calm him down and say it was alright, but he stopped me before I could. “No! It’s not alright, Levi! You’ve busted your ass to get here after work, you bought her flowers, you’ve been the best fucking boyfriend I’ve ever had and she’s not doing shit to realize any of that! I was lucky to get you here tonight! I was so damn happy when you said you’d meet me on a Friday for once! Mikasa, I love Levi with all my heart and I don’t care if you accept him or not! You’re not my mom!” He choked and pushed in his chair before trying to run away. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him close.

“Don’t you fucking dare leave this dinner table like that. Sit your ass down, and hear what she has to say. I don’t give a shit if you don’t care about her opinion or not, I do. She is your last goddamn family member and I need her damn approval. I told you I’d fight through tooth and nail for you so you need to just sit the fuck down, calm down and let us talk. Don’t act like a damn child, Eren.” I was glaring up at him and probably being too harsh, but I was serious. I needed Mikasa’s approval and Eren’s little stunt wasn’t going to help. “Now, apologize.”

Eren grumbled and sat down before crossing his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Go on, Mikasa.” I motioned for her to carry on as I ate.

“…” She turned to Erwin. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-eight.” Erwin said wiping his hands on his napkin in his lap. He was sweating. Disgusting pig.

“What made you want to be with Armin? How did you meet?”

“At a coffee shop. He was sitting there with an Anatomy book and I had no other place to sit so I asked if I could sit across from him and he allowed me. I started talking to him and haven’t stopped since that day. I guess you could say it was his looks that drew me to him but his personality that made me stay.” That smooth bastard. Looks were highly important to Erwin. I of all people should know that. Of course, he needs to like the person to be able to like the looks, but looks have always been what Erwin judge everyone on at first.

“Have you two had sex?”

Armin beamed bright red as he curled up on himself a little and just began eating his food eagerly.

“Yes.”

I felt Eren tense next to me and I reached out to rub at his thigh reassuringly.

“Did you use protection?”

“Yes. I am clean but I’m used to not making messes.” He looked over at me.

I looked to the side. The fact he used a condom on me so much that it became a habit made me feel like we did it way too much. Made me feel like our relationship was just this physical mess. I felt dirty. My neck stung. I slumped in my seat a little.

“Did you do anything perverted to him while you did it?”

“No.” Liar. I could tell by the way he was biting the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from smiling. He probably tied that poor mushroom and dished it out to him, full speed, hard, tied up and moaning out “Commander”. Fucking disgusting.

“Do you have any toys you could use on him?”

“No.”

“Liar.” My rage was noticeable in the word. I knew for a fact he had at least one dildo and whip. I knew for a fact he had a few cock rings. I knew for a fact that he had ear muffs to block out noise. I knew for a fact he had every vibrator known to man.

“I’m not. I threw all that away. They were used on you and my Armin deserves the best.”

My eyes widened before I looked down and excused myself from the table. I don’t know why that made me want to go punch a wall. I walked into the bathroom and washed my face, looking up at the mirror. He… He got rid of all of it. All of the things that made us. Did he even have my collar anymore? I suddenly missed it. My hand was at my neck trying to find the missing fabric. I had been replaced by a mushroom… and it didn’t even look like Erwin cared. Wasn’t he the one who was supposed to be in love with me?! I hit the sink with my fist and glared at my reflection.

A knock came from the door. “Levi…?”

It was Eren.

I sighed and turned towards the door. “What?”

“Are you okay?”

My expression softened. He sounded so concerned. So worried. I guess I did kind of overreact. It was only to be expected of Erwin to throw away all that so Armin could be his. That made the betrayal hurt less. It still hurt, just not as bad. “I’m fine… I just really needed to piss.”

“We’ll talk about it when we get to your house…”

“There’s nothing to-”

“Please, don’t argue with me… I’m too tired to.”

I shut my mouth and nodded as I exited the bathroom. “Okay.”

He smiled and lightly kissed me before taking my hand and intertwining our fingers as we walked back to our seats. Erwin and Mikasa were beginning to make small talk so it wasn’t as awkward or stressful anymore. I felt that I had blown my chances to ever have Mikasa’s blessings. I felt that I had failed Eren and I really felt like shit. I looked down at nibbled on my cold chicken. That’s when Mikasa looked over at Eren and asked him the question that would change our relationship forever.

“How happy does he make you?”

Eren was quiet for a moment which made my heart beat erratically before he said. “I couldn’t live without him. When he left… I was a wreck… but if he left now… I don’t know if I could ever bounce back from that.” This answer… was the most important one in Mikasa decision to let us be together.

I met Mikasa’s grey eyes and she was so serious. “Will you ever leave him?”

“I will not. Not after everything we have been through. In fact… I wanted him to move in with me when he turned eighteen.” I was so serious. I don’t think I could survive a day without at least texting Eren. I had to hear what he did every day. I had to make sure he smiled every day. I had to be there for him. I was so in love with him. I probably shouldn’t have told her that, but by then Eren could do whatever he wanted so she couldn’t say no.

“I see… and this is what you want, Eren?”

“I wanted to move in sooner, but Levi told me I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

I sighed, “Because I didn’t know how I felt about it. I was scared we’d be moving too fast if I allowed him to.” I have realized that I wanted Eren to always be there when I got home, to hold me and take away the days stress away, but I had to get permission from his sister first. “If you’d let him move in now though, I wouldn’t be against it.”

She was about to say something but Armin interjected, “I think you should let him, Mikasa. I mean, we’ll be going to college. You’ll be moving in with Annie soon and I’ll never be home. Someone needs to take care of him and what better person than the one who loves him third most?”

“Third?” I questioned.

“Mikasa and I will always come first.” Armin said proudly.

Mikasa thought for a long time and sighed and nodded. “Fine. He’ll live with you. But if you do anything to hurt him or upset him I’ll make it my personal mission to ruin your whole life, you can be sure of that. Same with you, Erwin. Don’t you dare hurt our little mushroom.”

Eren jumped up out of his seat with a shit eating grin and let out an excited noise as he ran to Mikasa and hugged her tightly telling her he was thankful repeatedly.

I smiled and sighed, finishing my dinner. Armin and Erwin were also celebrating their own success. This day wasn’t so bad. I got up and collected everyone’s dishes when they were done and walked to the kitchen where I started cleaning up everything. Mikasa joined me and we made small talk while Erwin helped both Armin and Eren pack.

“Dinner was good. Thank you. Honestly, I think I would have just ordered a pizza if you hadn’t showed up early.” Mikasa said while she rinsed the dishes I handed her.

I chuckled and nodded, “Which would have been okay too. Thank you… for letting Eren live with me.” I wanted to thank her personally for her decision. “Your opinion meant a lot.”

“I realized. Just make sure you take good care of him. You don’t seem like such a bad guy.”

“I’m not.”

“Erwin seems mysterious though.”

“…I’m biased so I shouldn’t talk about him.”

“What happened between you two?”

“We had been fuck buddies since college. I never thought it went beyond that though we did have feelings for each other… so I guess you could say we were in an unofficial relationship. For us, and don’t hold this against him because he is different towards Armin, he was really abusive without realizing it. I mean, sure I left a lot of hints, but I don’t think he ever connected it as him being at fault. In a bdsm relationship you need communication more than you would in a normal relationship. You need to be able to read your partner perfectly so mistakes won’t be made. Erwin could never read me. So when it got too much I would always pack my shit and run away from him. I’d always come back when I recuperated, but that’s just how our relationship worked. I had forgotten our safe word and because I did, he never took me seriously when I said no. When I collared Eren the first time I thought it wouldn’t matter because Erwin encouraged me to do it, but really he was just testing my loyalty. That’s why I came back and took it from him. Not the smartest thing I’ve done, but yeah. After a while I realized that Erwin scared the hell out of me and that’s when I ended us.”

“… I see… Does he respect Armin?”

“I’ve seen him plenty of times stop when Armin has used their safe word. I think Armin has wiped him into shape.”

“That’s good… Do you respect Eren?”

“I have done little to him really. We’ve been taking things really slow. We’ve only had sex once and I didn’t come anywhere close to his limits. You can be assured that he is safe with me. I won’t hurt him on purpose, ever. I really do love him.”

“Do you love him enough to marry him?”

“I plan to. Not any time soon. But yeah, in the future I see that happening.”

“Then you better invite me to the wedding.”

I smiled and nodded handing her the last dish. “Will do.”

“Leviiiiii, my bag is so heavyyyyyyy. Carry it for me.” A whine came from a room in the back.

“You spoiled ass brat, don’t pack so much if you can’t carry it.” I rolled my eyes as I dried my hands off on a towel.

“Pleaseeeeee, my clothes are something I need and… pleaseeeeee.”

I walked where the voice was coming from and saw he had a duffle bag the size of him and stuffed full. “You have too many damn clothes.”

“I like looking fashionable!”

It was true. Eren did have a lot of designer clothes that he always seemed to put together nicely. I rolled my eyes again and picked it up and put it on my shoulder. It was only slightly heavy for me. “You weakling.”

“Thank you, Levi! You’re so strong!” He kissed my cheek causing me to smile. He was perfect.


	35. We Promised the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded. “I promise.”_  
>  -Levi

Chapter 35

“For fuck’s sake, stopping giggling like an idiot. I’m trying to sleep. I had a long day at work…” I muttered holding Eren close in my- our- dark bedroom. We had gotten home and unpacked his bag before getting in pajamas and slipping under the covers to cuddle. Eren’s head was on my chest with an arm wrapped around my torso, half laying on me, half not. He nuzzled my chest and I sighed. He was too damn cute.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I just can’t believe I’m actually here.”

“Yeah, well, I expect you to keep up on your studies and your job. I don’t want you to get used to being a freeloader.” I was serious about that. I really didn’t want him to be someone who just depended on his partner for a living, not that he was going to. I knew Eren would want to help out, even if it wasn’t needed, as much as possible. 

“Thank you, Levi.” Eren smiled and cuddled closer, if that was possible. He began humming our song.

I let out a content sigh and rubbed his back, falling asleep to those soft hums.

~~~

“Let’s go on a date.” Eren whimpered as he laid across my once neat bed. “We haven’t been on one in a while and I think it would do us both some good. You’ve been really stressed lately, corporal.”

I glanced over at him from where I was hunched over doing paperwork and sighed. “I’ll take you out once I finish this damn work the fucking control addict doesn’t want to do.”

“Do you mean Erwin?”

“Yes.”

“… Why not give me half the stack and I’ll just sign it for you?”

“They know my signature.”

Eren came put behind me and slid his hands down my torso from behind and smirked in my ear. “I know how to forage your signature. It’s not that hard. There’s two loops on the L to make it cursive then the rest is in print on the L’s lower line.”

“… You little shit…” I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “You’re damn lucky I don’t have to write my last name too for this shit.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t like my last name, so I just don’t write it. No one complains so I’ve never done it.” I explained while leaning in his embrace, looking up at him before getting up. “Fuck it. I’ll just stay up tonight. Come on. Let’s go out for a walk.”

“Thank you, Levi!” Eren kissed my cheek and I decided that it was worth it. Seeing him so happy always made me really happy despite me not showing it on the outside. He backed away and shook his hips a little. “I’ll go find my best outfit! I’ll look wonderful in it and you’ll love it!” He laughed and scampered off to his room before I could stop him. What he was wearing, his usual green shirt and white pants, was fine. We were just going out for a walk, after all. I mean it’s nothing to make a big deal out of… is it?

I looked down at my attire and decided to get up and change into a black button up and white pants. We didn’t have much clothes since we were in the corps and I did come from a place with nothing, so this would just have to do. I sat down and waited for Eren came back. Fucking brat was taking his sweet ass time. Maybe he stopped to take a shit?  
Just when I was about to go find him he came walking in my room, blushing and fidgeting before he put a flower in my hand. “… I… I love you.”

My eyes widened when I looked down at the blue flower that had large petals and a sturdy stem. I was normally the one getting Eren gifts and spoiling the fuck out of him. I was never expecting this. When I looked up again I noticed his outfit. He was in a dark red button down and black pants that were only slightly wrinkled in some places. He had a light blush dusting his cheeks while he shifted from foot to foot. He was simply beautiful. I realized I hadn’t said it back so I smiled gently and leaned up, kissing him gently before leaning away. “I love you.” I walked over to my closet to find a vase. It was on the top shelf so Eren happily got it down for me. We filled it with water in my personal bathroom then put the flower in it, putting the vase on my desk. I liked it. “Thank you, Eren.”

Eren grinned and took my hands. “Now let’s go! We have a town to see!”

I chuckled and shook my head. I then spent the rest of my day being dragged around by a brat, who decided to go into every shop. I stole him a stuffed bear and some dried berries by the end of the day and presented them to him when we were leaning against the wall away from the town.

“How did you get these?!” Eren asked in shock.

“A thief never reveals his secrets.” I paused and held him close. “Seriously though, never steal. I don’t want you to get caught and hung for it.”

“Then why would you risk it?!”

“Because I knew I wouldn’t get caught. I’m a professional, Eren.”

Eren sighed and shook his head as he popped a dried mango in his mouth. He closed his eyes and moaned in happiness. “Fuck, that’s good…”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Make sure no one finds any of this. I could seriously be killed for all this shit.”

“I promise I won’t!” Eren smiled and hugged me before putting a dried mango up to my lips. “Have some, they are so good. You deserve at least one.”

Fucking brat knew I wasn’t going to take it unless he convinced me. I sighed and took it biting into the soft texture. I closed my eyes in bliss and leaned against the wall more. I could get addicted to this shit. This whole day had been perfect. I was so completely focused on Eren that I didn’t even care that I had a shit ton of work to do once I got back or the fact that Erwin was probably going to yell at me. No, none of that mattered. All that mattered was Humanity’s Last Hope. I started singing our song in a whisper. We had made it up awhile back and it just sort of stuck with us. “Remember the day we met, it is painful for me, because nobody wants to die too fast, remember the day we dreamt, it is painful for me, I could see your face, I could hear your voice.”

Eren shifted before he joined in, singing just as softly, clinging to me desperately. “Song for the reluctant heroes. Oh, give me your strength, our life is so short, song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you, from my heart, song for the reluctant heroes, oh give me your strength, our life is so short, song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you.” 

~~~

“Levi. Levi, wake up…”

I stretched and looked up to see Eren squirming next to me. I looked over at the time to see it was two in the morning. Fucking brat. “What?”

“I heard a scary noise…”

“Like what?”

“Like glass shattering.”

I woke up more and sat up before getting up and grabbing a bat. “Stay here.”

“No! Wait! Let me come with you.”

“Shhh, fine, just come on.” I headed into the living room seeing the glass was indeed broken. Someone was in the kitchen. I lifted my bat as I made my way into the room about to swing when Hanji’s face came into my batting range. I sighed and glared at her. “What the fuck, shitty glasses?! You nearly scared the shit out of us!”

“Sorry, Levi. I forgot my key so I just came in through the window.”

“Why the fuck would you think that was a good idea at two o’clock in the fucking morning?! You could have just knocked on the fucking door!”

“I didn’t want to wake you. You’re scary when you just wake up.”

My head started hurting and I really didn’t want to deal with his bullshit right now. I turned and screamed at her to fix the window before going back to my room. Fuck my life. Nothing could ever just go smoothly could it?

“Levi…?” Eren whimpered behind me, fiddling with his fingers while looking down at the ground. “I’m sorry for waking you over something so stupid… I didn’t know… I’m sorry.”

I sighed and nodded. “You couldn’t have known. You should wake me up if you feel you’re in danger. Don’t ever hold back, okay?”

“Okay… I’m still sorry I woke you… I should have investigated-”

“No, don’t you ever put yourself in danger. Wake me up so I can handle it. Now get to sleep. It’s been a long day of unpacking. I’ll make breakfast for you in the morning.” I slipped under the blankets and nuzzled into the pillow.

Eren followed me and held me close, switching our positions from earlier, making me lay on his chest. “… Actually, can I make you breakfast? It could be like breakfast in bed. You seem more stressed than usual this week.”

“Sorry… I just have so many things to grade and there’s not enough time before the grading period is up. I should have managed my time better… You don’t have to make me breakfast. I know you suck at cooking.” I really didn’t want to inconvenience him in any way. I just wanted to take care of him.

“No, that isn’t fair. I want to take care of you just as much as you take care of me. Now, get some rest. When you wake up I’ll have breakfast ready for you.” Eren said sternly as he rubbed my back. “Good night, corporal.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “You’re an idiot. Good night.”

“I love you.” Eren whispered and kissed my cheek before tucking my head under his and pulling the blanket around both of his tightly. I felt so warm and protected. Maybe just once I can let my guard down. It wouldn’t be so bad as long as it was Eren. Eren would never hurt me.

“I love you too.” I whispered and kissed his neck softly before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

~~~

“Levi…?”

“What, Eren? If you have something to say just say it. You don’t need my permission to speak.” I muttered next to him on the mattress. My back was pressed against his front, his arm wrapped around my waist holding me tightly.

“Let’s visit the ocean with Mikasa and Armin one day.”

I turned to face and gave him an odd look. “What’s an ocean?”

“It was in one of Armin’s books about what’s outside of the walls. I guess it’s this huge body of salt water. I guess there’s sand by the shore from the water breaking down rocks and the book said it was pretty at sunset. So, can we go?”

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah, we can go. Just make sure you keep quiet about that shit. People who read books like that are automatically thrown out to be titan bait. The government doesn’t want anyone leaving.”

“I know. We’ve been dreaming about it since we were kids. We’ve kept it a secret all that time, I think we can continue to keep it a secret. We’ll kill all the titans and then we’ll go see the ocean and it’s going to be so nice, Levi. I can’t wait for our future!” He hugged me tightly, giggling like an idiot. He was just so damn happy thinking about a future that may or may not even exist.

“Eren... promise me if I die then you’ll fight for me and see the ocean for me.”

He tensed and his giggles died down. I almost regretted saying it, but honestly, it was a thing he needed to consider. Anything could happen between then and now. There was still so many titans left to kill and we don’t even know how they exist or multiply. It was awhile before I heard his soft whisper, “I promise… but you have to promise me the same if I were to die.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded. “I promise.”

~~~

I woke up again at ten a.m. and stretched. Eren wasn’t in bed with me. I put my fingers to my cheek and realized I was crying. I looked up to see Eren carrying in a tray, tears sliding down his own cheeks. That’s right, we shared dreams and the pain that comes with them.

He forced a smile and placed the tray down in front of me. “Good morning, Levi. Did you sleep good?”

“Yeah… and it would be well.”

“Oh, right.” He chuckled before sitting down at the end of the bed. “So, as you can see, I made you some cereal, toast and cut you some oranges with a cup of tea. I hope you like that… I had to ask Hanji which tea you would like today, but other than that I made it all by myself.”

“Thanks…” I looked down at the food before looking back up at Eren. “…Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“We never did get to see the ocean.”

Eren looked over at me and shook his head. “No… No we didn’t.”

“Why don’t we go see it this summer? I’ll be off and I’m sure you can convince Jean to give you some time off. I think it will be nice.”

He smiled big and nodded. “Yes! Please!” He wiped the tears away and chuckled. “I woke up crying because I realized we never got to see it back then… but now I’m sure we’ll be able to see it.”

“I promise we will.” I smiled and held out my pinky to him.

He looped our pinkies and grinned big. “Promise! It’s going to be so much fun, Levi. I promise you’ll have the time of your life! I’m sure we’ll make so many memories there!”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Calm down. That isn’t for a couple more months. At least celebrate your birthday first.” I scolded him, but I was honestly just as giddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I didn't get this up yesterday! If I'm being honest, it's just because I completely forgot.... and then I was about to write more and realized I never updated. I'm sorry. I appreciate all the kudos and comments you all leave and I'm glad you like it enough to kudo it. :) I'm sorry for all the mistakes and stuff.


	36. Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eren is hiding something from me..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 36

I breathed in the spring air. It was nice having it around now. Eren has officially gotten used to the dynamics of our relationship and is now requesting to fill my every need. Although it’s his birthday he’s eager to please me. I was making him a cake and had went out and got him a couple presents earlier. He’s been crawling around in white booty shorts and a black shirt all day with his teal collar on. He’d quickly come up to me every so often and rub against my legs or pull at my shirt.

“Levi. Levi. Levi… play with me…”

I chuckled and put the egg shells to the side before petting his hair. “I’m making you a treat right now, puppy. Go play with a ball or something.”

“But, Leviiiiii, it’s my birthday. You should listen to me…” He whimpered staring up at me with that shitty pout of his.

I sighed and shook my head. “What did I tell you about ignoring my orders?”

“That wasn’t an order. That was a suggestion.” He said cheekily as he tugged at my shirt more.

“Well now it’s an order. Let me finish preparing your cake and I swear I will play with you.”

“Okay!” He happily crawled away again and went into the living room where a basket full of toys was at. He took out a ball with his mouth and began playing with it by shaking it in his mouth and throwing it to go chase after it.

He was too fucking cute. I didn’t think he would get into the dog thing too much. I figured it was just a cute little nickname I would call him. He had other plans though apparently. One day we were just sitting on the couch and he looked up and asked me, “Do you want me to act like a puppy all the time? Cause I will.” I laughed and just shrugged saying something like it would be cute to see him like that. I wasn’t taking him seriously then the next day he was asking for a dog bowl and toys. He wanted ears too but I hadn’t been able to find some online so Hanji was working on making him some. He was always so eager to please me. I finished making the batter and put it in a pan before sticking it in the oven. Dirty dishes be damned. I have the cutest fucking puppy in the world to play with. I washed my hands quickly and dried them before going into the living room and sitting down on the couch. I was about to call him from the hall where he had chased after his ball when his phone buzzed. I picked it up and my heart sunk.

_Hey, Eren, can’t wait to see you. Happy birthday._

It was from Erwin. They had been hanging out for a while now. I had been ignoring it for a while simply because I trusted Eren… but… this just seemed like too much. “Eren. Get your ass over here.”

He came running in with alarm written all over his face. “Yes…?”

“Explain why you’ve been hanging out with Erwin lately.” I was furious. I wanted to know the truth. If the little shit lied to me I was going to lose it. I hated liars. I hated cheaters.  
“We’ve just been getting to know each other is all. He isn’t so ba-”

“That’s shit and you know it. Don’t you fucking dare lie to me, Eren. You know how I am about that type of shit. Tell me the fucking truth.”

“… I… I can’t.”

“Why the hell not?” Why could he possibly not tell me the reason? Unless he was cheating.

“Because I can’t.”

“You know you’re not supposed to lie to me.”

“And I’m not! I really don’t think he’s bad… He treats Armin with the utmost respect. I just needed some help with something so I asked him to help me.”

“Why couldn’t you ask me?”

“Because it was something I wanted him to teach me.”

I gritted my teeth and glared at Eren. Was he really expecting me to buy this? “Eren, just fucking admit that you’re cheating.”

“I am not! Damn, would it kill you to trust me?”

“I did, up until you had to go cheat on me.”

I saw his eyes narrow and his fists clench next to his sides. “I’m not cheating. I wouldn’t cheat on you with my best friend’s boyfriend. Do you honestly think that little of me? Are you cheating on me? Most people say that if your partner is accusing you of cheating then he’s the one cheating.”

“No. You know me. I would nev-”

“But you did, Levi! All those years ago! You did. You collared me then took it away! Do you understand how much that messed me up?!”

“I’m not going to cheat on you anymore. I promise. We’ve been together this long and I’ve been faithful to you. You know those circumstances were different so stop slapping it in my face. I already said I was sorry and shit.”

“Sorry doesn’t always fix everything, Levi! You know that. God, why the hell did you get on my case about this anyways? I’ve been meeting with Erwin for months. If you were that worried you should have fucking said something.”

“I thought I could trust you.” I sighed and rubbed at my temples before showing him the phone. “That doesn’t exactly look innocent to me.”

Eren shuffled on his feet a moment before sighing. “I can’t tell you… Just know I’m not cheating and it’s a lot birthday present that he’s helping me with… okay?”  
I sighed and nodded. “Fine… I’ll believe that…”

Eren crawled over to me and nuzzled my stomach. “I’m sorry, Levi.”

“It’s fine.” I started stroking his hair. I didn’t know what to believe. I didn’t feel as happy as I did this morning. I didn’t know what to think and it upset me that something as small as this was making me question Eren. He didn’t deserve this and I knew it. I knew he’d never hurt me. I picked up his ball and threw it. “Go get it.”

He beamed up at me and quickly crawled over to where it was before bringing it back in his mouth, barking around it enthusiastically.

“Don’t your knees hurt crawling around on the carpet like that?” I asked knowing I’d have carpet burns by now on them. Maybe I was just old.  
“It does a little, but puppies don’t walk on two legs.”

I sighed and made him stand up. As soon as I saw his knees I felt bad. They were red and burned. I shook my head and pulled Eren down to sit in my lap. “Don’t crawl on your knees until I can get you some knee pads and they heal up. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Yes, master.” He sighed and nuzzled me. “… Do you really not trust me that much?”

“It’s not that, Eren. I do trust you. I guess I just didn’t realize how sensitive I was to it. I’m sorry.”

“Heh, you’re sensitive. I never pictured you so weak.” He was teasing me and I honestly did not mind. He was trying to get me to smile, the little shit.

“Heh, even the strongest fall at some points.”

“I realized. Heh, you’ll be getting your Christmas present soon and then if you want I’ll never see Erwin again. Though, he honestly isn’t that bad being friends with. Sure, he’s a little annoying because he’s boring to talk to and he’s all the time giving Armin orders that get under my skin, but he’s really not so bad. I think the worst thing he does is call you Corporal which makes me want to punch him in the face.”

“It’s just my stage name.” I chuckled rubbing at his back.

“Well, it’s still annoying because I know that’s what he called you when you two were together.”

“Eren, you know I’m never going back to him, right?” I wasn’t. I refused to go back to him. Even if Eren and I didn’t work out I knew I’d never go back to Erwin because I found out what true happiness felt like. Eren was that true happiness. I don’t know what I would do without him.

“I know… I just… him saying that gets under my skin. You’ve done so much for me and I know I shouldn’t be jealous because of that, but I don’t know… sometimes I just see traces of you in him. Like how he’s always cleaning to make sure his house is spotless or how he’ll tell me stories about where you two went… he misses you. I can tell…”  
“… well… that isn’t my problem. He’ll just have to learn how to move on, on his own.” I was only stating the truth but that I kind of hurt to say. I did miss Erwin too. Not on a romantic level, but on a friendship level I did miss his presents. He had always been there for me. Through my parents shitty marriage, through Petra dying, through the pain and all the tears. He always stuck by me and I missed his closeness, but I didn’t want Eren to doubt me.

“So, when will the cake be done?” Eren changed the topic after replying to Erwin.

I chuckled and shook my head. “After dinner. You need to eat better so you live a long time.”

“Fine.” Eren sighed as he stared up at me. “When’s dinner?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I’ll go make it now.”

“Yea! Thank you, Levi!” He hugged me tightly.

~~~

I found this next part from one of Eren’s spelling journals.  
-Levi

~~~

I was being picked up by Erwin when I received a small box from Levi. He told me open it when I got the chance and to have fun doing whatever I was doing. I opened it as soon as we started driving off. Armin was up front and I was in the back. I found it ridiculous that a big guy like Erwin drove this tiny little vehicle.

“Happy birthday, Eren!” They said as I quickly undid the bow on the tiny box before ripping away the green happy birthday wrapping paper. I opened the box and I instantly started tearing up. I picked up the silver tag and rubbed my thumb over what was engraved. _Levi’s puppy. 11/3/15_ He went with the date that I was officially collared. It was Mike’s birthday. It was then that I realized that I never said happy birthday to Armin. That night was crazy anyways. I quickly took off my collar my neck feeling naked instantly. I clipped the tag on and quickly put the collar back on.

“That’s so cute, Eren.” Armin giggled and I noticed his own collar had an addition. It was a small bronze key. Cliché, but sweet.

I wiped my tears away and nodded. “Yeah, it’s so shiny and knew… I can’t believe he’d actually go out of his way to get me this…”

“Well, it looks good.” Armin gave me a thumbs up before we parked in Erwin’s garage. I got out and cracked my fingers while I walked in. 

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Armin asked as he walked to the kitchen.

“No. Levi pretty much stuffed me on a delicious dinner and cake.”

“Heh, that seems like Levi.” Erwin chuckled from behind me and took off his boots before going further in the house to the piano room where he got the piano ready and the music sheets out. Today was the day I learned this song perfectly.

I sat down and cracked my fingers in nervousness like always before taking a deep breath and placing my hands down on the keys. You got this Eren. I had to keep telling myself that or I would never be able to play this correctly. This song meant so much to leave and I. I had to get it right. “It was like a nightmare and it is painful to me, because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief, now it’s strange for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.” I closed my eyes and heard all the pained cries from everyone that I knew back then. They were so much like the people I knew now… but somehow different. Ever so slightly they were different. And I didn’t know if I liked that or not. I thought back to the day I asked to kill Lance Corporal Levi. His swords on my neck, my swords on his back. It was such a quick and bitter sweet death. One that I would never forget because it was my own death.

“Remember the day we met and it’s painful to me. Remember the day of grief and it is painful to me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.” The day Levi walked into the movie theater I should have known not to mess with him. My whole life turned upside down as soon as he walked in with that wannabe jacket and that smirk of his. I became obsessed quickly. If I had known this was how it was going to end I wouldn’t have gotten close to him.

I could hear Erwin in the background next to my right ear shifting a little. Every time I played this melody I knew it pained him. This was the song that meant him and Levi were over. Of course he would be upset by it. “Can’t look back. They will not come back. Can’t be afraid. It’s time after time. So once again, I’m hiding in my room. The peaceful times have made us blind. So, you can’t fly. If you never try. You told me, oh long ago, but you left the wall outside the gate. So more than ever it’s real.” I could see myself getting closer to Levi by this song. This song always triggered more of the happy times in our past life despite the song being about death. I wonder if he was seeing them too. I smiled wide as I kept my eyes closed and my fingers hitting at the different keys. I loved the piano and I now knew why Levi liked it too.

“Eren, stop…”

My hands instantly fell from the piano and I opened my eyes. I didn’t want to stop, but once I didn’t stop and Erwin had pushed me away from the piano and then we didn’t have a lesson for three weeks because this song had hurt him so badly. I didn’t want that to happen again. It was bad enough that I made him agree to this. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine… you were doing well. Levi is going to love it.”

I smiled and looked over at him. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” He patted me on the back before tilting his head to upstairs. “Why don’t you go play with Armin for a while? You don’t want to strain your voice too badly. I’ll take you home whenever.”

I nodded. I agreed because I didn’t want to hurt him. He really wasn’t such a bad guy. I walked upstairs and into Erwin and Armin’s room. Armin was reading a book on the bed and I couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to fit the picture. I walked over and laid down next to him reading over his shoulder at the random book. It was a comfortable silence. One that I liked because it didn’t make things awkward between us. This was normally how sessions ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and all the love guys! I really appreciate it! You guys are the best! :)


	37. Standoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Erwin has to be lying... he has to be..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 37

Eren came home at about ten. He was yawning tiredly when he slipped into bed. “…Why do you have to go to the club tonight?”

“Because unlike you I have bills and shit to pay for.” I rolled my eyes as I slipped into black shorts with fishnets under them. I slipped on a tank top that was Eren’s. It was black and really loose on me. I grabbed a collar and slipped it around my neck.

“You’re my master… why are you wearing a collar?”

“Because if I don’t then I’m not claimed which means I’m fair game. It’s no one’s collar. I promise.” I walked over and ruffled his hair. “Get some sleep. I’ll be back around six.”

“Okay… Don’t you have school in the morning?”

“Yeah. I’ll take you to work and then go to school.”

“Okay…” Eren didn’t look happy but the Chain was my responsibility and I had to make sure people were continuing to come in. I don’t think Eren likes me showing off my body, but it’s part of the job and when I do it we get the most income, so I had to.

I sighed and kissed his head. “Have a good night sleep.”

“Have fun…”

I walked out after grabbing a jacket and put on my knee high boots that gave me an extra inch in height. I needed every inch I could get with my fucking height. I sighed and got in my car before driving to the Chain. I walked in and stretched before looking around. The place was packed and it wasn’t because of me. I walked down to the dungeon and stopped in my tracks when I saw who was there. Holy fuck. No. 

“Good evening, Levi.” Erwin chuckled head resting his head on his hand.

“Evening.” It wasn’t good since he was here. I didn’t like being with him.

“How are you and Eren?”

“Good.”

“Is he being a good pet?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why is he trying to be with me?”

Erwin was a liar. He had to be. I closed my eyes and took a breath before letting it out and rolling my eyes. “What shit are you throwing at me?”

“Nothing. I’m telling the truth.”

“… Why do you say that?”

“He’s been visiting me for a while.”

It could be him just misreading things. It’s fine. Eren isn’t doing this to me. He never would. Especially on his birthday. It’ll be fine. He’s okay. He loves me. I’m the one who collared him. He knows what that means. I glared over at Erwin. “Really? Don’t lie to me. You know I hate liars. Eren is just something with you because he has a present for me or some shit.”

“Or so he tells you. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t even want to be with you?”

“Because he does want to be with me.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes before walking to a wall and leaning against it. “He wouldn’t have taken my collar again if he didn’t want to be with me. He wouldn’t hurt me like that. Don’t underestimate me, Erwin. I know my puppy.”

“It’s cute how you think you can put all your faith in this one person.” Erwin was smirking and it made me want to walk away from his ass, but people were watching and I couldn’t let them see me submit for the hundredth time. I was a changed person. I can hold my ground.

“I know my pup. Don’t disrespect him. He is a good ass pup and I am a better fucking master, no I’m a better fucking person, than you will ever be. Armin doesn’t deserve shit like you.”

“Armin loves me and you will not bring him into this.”

My eyes lit up in a fire. That wasn’t fucking fair. That _seriously_ wasn’t fair. He could bring my boyfriend into this but I couldn’t bring his in this? Fuck that. “It’s too late. You’re the one who got him involved in the first place.”

“How did I bring him into this?”

“Because you fucking collared him.”

“You collared Eren before we were even broken up.”

“We were never dating! I don’t know where the fuck you got that notion, but we weren’t! I never once said I loved you. I never once said we were together.”

“… Ouch, that hurts.”

“Yeah, well, it hurt to kill him and you didn’t hold me fucking back then.”

Erwin visibly flinched then looked away. “Don’t bring up the past like that. Not here.”

“Why? Because you were replaced by Eren then too? Face it, we weren’t meant to be.”

Erwin got up and walked over to me, making me straighten up. His hand raised by I caught it before he could slap me.

I glared up at him and moved away from the wall. “You are an abusive piece of shit. You will never touch me again, and frankly, you will never touch Armin again if I ever find up you laid a single slap on him. The face is not okay. Leaving bruises is not okay. You are a horrible person and I will never bend to your will. So don’t even try. Now go. My shift is now.” I threw his arm away and turned to sit on the chair, crossing my legs and glaring at him. “Don’t piss me off right now, Erwin. I won’t hesitate to fight you or get the guards to kick your ass out.” 

Erwin sighed and walked up the steps, the tension in the room leaving with him. I smirked and leaned against the chair comfortable. A victory for me. That’s a great feeling. The rest of the night I had no problems. I was actually rocking the pole that night and I got a lot of money. This business was booming. I paid some bills and had a drink just for the heck of it. Tonight was a great night. Now, if only Eren could have been here. That would have just topped off the night. I walked out of the club and started making my way down to my car when I stopped at the sight. There he was… hair a mess, white shirt clinging to him, fishnets going up his legs to blue shorts and black flat shoes on his feet. He was stunning. I walked up to him and he pulled me close. “What are you doing here?” I was surprised, but I was extremely happy. He was here. Just like a fucking angel. 

Eren began sucking on my neck running his hands up my shirt. “I missed you… and… I really wanted to see you… and… I got really horny thinking about you after I woke up…”  
I closed my eyes and groaned leaning into his affections because holy fuck they were so warm. I moaned and grabbed him throwing him over my shoulder. I opened the back door, not caring if we got caught or not. I threw him in and crawled on top of him, closing the door behind me. I leaned down and kissed him, clawing down his sides.

He moaned and I lapped those sounds up like I was desperate for them. My tongue was filling his mouth and he was melting under me. I felt his arms and legs wrap around me. I wish I had more room to tease him, but this wasn’t the time. We were in a car in the back of a club. I slid my hands up his shirt and took it off him. I leaned away, hearing him gasp for breath. I panted looking down at his gorgeously toned body. I needed this. I needed him.

“Master~ Please~” He was panting up at me, eyes lidded and filled with lust.

I was hard. I was so fucking hard. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him up, wrapping it around his eyes and tied it behind his head before pushing him back down. “What’s your safe word?”

“Red light~”

“Good boy.” I ran my hands down his chest. His skin was so smooth and clean. I loved it. I leaned down and started sucking at it hearing him gasp and moan. I knew the blindfold around him would heighten his other senses. This was going to feel amazing to him. I took off my shirt and wiggled around to get out of my pants and boxers. He was even harder to get his clothes off and he ended up kicking me by accident in his rush to be free of the clothing. “Oi, watch it.”

“Sorry, master… Please, forgive me…”

I leaned down and ghosted my lips over his nipple, “I forgive you.” 

“Mmm… Levi~” He was squirm and fuck he was already spewing precum. I trailed down and licked up the substance.

“I’m going to fuck you until your screaming my name.”

“Please!” His hands wrapped around my neck and gripped it tightly, his legs going around my waist.

I put saliva on my fingers wanting to hurry this up. I really needed to be in him. “You’re drooling, puppy.” I teased him lightly and kissed down his neck, before biting down on his collar bone harshly. He was going to have a dark bruise there and it was going to show exactly who he belong to.

“Mmm~ I don’t care~” He groaned out but brought a hand up to wipe away the drool that was sliding down his chin from his open, panting mouth.

I slid my finger in him and looked all his body to make sure he wasn’t cringing or showing signs of pain. The last thing I wanted was for him to be in pain. When I felt him relaxing I added another finger and began pushing them in and out of him, scissoring him so he could fit me. When he got used to that I added a last finger and drove it right into his prostate.

His back arched and he let out a gasp and a loud moan. “OH! Fuck! Master! Please!”

“Please what?” I asked huskily as I just barely missed his prostate so I could torture him. He let out a whine and I knew I was driving him crazy. That’s exactly how I wanted him, begging and craving for me. I leaned down and started to lick and kiss up his smooth thighs. Fuck they were sexy.

Eren groaned and bit his lip before clawing at my back. “Please, make a mess of me. Please put your- AH- cock in me… please, master…” He withered and bit his lip again.

I took out my fingers and spat in my hand to add saliva to my length. All reason left me as I lifted his hips and positioned myself to his entrance.

“Levi…” He cried out and I instantly looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t in any pain.

“Yeah?”

“… I want you so badly… please… just put it in me…” He clung to me more and shivered.

I couldn’t say no to that. How could I? I pushed in him and he snapped his hips down so I was fully in him. My eyes widened and I moaned out. His tightness was consuming me. I clawed his hips and began rocking my hips at a pretty quick pace. He was going ballistic. He as screaming my name and I wanted nothing more than to give him what he was asking for. Shouts of “more”, “harder”, and “faster” were given and I was going to fucking spoil him tonight. I pounded into him, his moans and skin slapping against skin was all I could here. I angled my hips this way and that so I could hit him just right. He was so perfect.

“Oh, oh… Levi… Levi…” He was clawing at my back and I was about to ask if he was alright, but then I decided that it was obvious that he was loving this.

I leaned down and bit along his shoulders. They were so slender and perfect and Eren’s body in general was perfect. I held him close and tried not to hit my head on the back of the car. We were going at such a fast pace I didn’t know how much longer I could hold up like this.

“Ah~ Master~ I’m close…” He whimpered out and went to reach down to stroke his weeping cock. I slapped his hand away quickly and shook my head.

“You will come by me and me alone. Don’t you dare touch yourself, pup.”

He groaned and threw back his head when I denied him. I angled my hips just right so I was attacking his prostate. He was screaming and I knew tomorrow his voice was going to be hoarse. He bit his lip and squirmed a little before coming all over his chest and stomach. He was screaming my name and his voice got cut off from how high pitched it was.

His walls collapsed down on me and I came. I bit my lip and came in him, groaning softly. I collapsed on him and panted against him. He wrapped his arms around me and giggled. “Old man, can’t handle sex anymore?” I was right, his voice was hoarse.

I snapped my hips forward slamming into his oversensitive body causing him to cry out. “Don’t make fun of me. I can handle sex just fine.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

I rolled my eyes and slid out of him. “You ruined the mood.” I took off the shirt from his eyes before starting to put on my clothes again.

“Awwww…” Eren whined and curled up on his side. “My ass hurts.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “You’ll be okay. Cover up.” I put my jacket over him so he was at least somewhat covered and ruffled his hair. “Sleep.”

“Yes, master.” He yawned out and nuzzled the seat.

I climbed up to the front of the car and sat in the driver seat. I buckled up and started driving us home. This night was probably the best night I’ve ever had. I could hear his soft breathing in the back which caused me to smile more. Erwin was wrong. Eren wanted to be with me and that was final. He was just trying to fuck up my life like always. He’s jealous even though he has a perfect partner a couple streets away. I felt bad for Armin. I hope he doesn’t get hurt like I did.

“Mmm… Levi…”

I smiled. He was dreaming about me. I wondered what he was dreaming. I guess I’d find out if it’s about our past. I normally got visions of them if I wasn’t sleeping. I pulled into the garage and closed the door before getting out and opening the back door. I picked him up and walked him inside. I took off our shoes, which made him wake up and groan. I undressed as we walked upstairs and watched as he fell in bed, falling asleep instantly. I turned and picked out a piece of paper from my box.

_I love how brave you are and how you always want the best for me._

He was so sweet. I put it on the pile next to the box and slipped into bed with him, holding him close and kissing his cheek. I snuggled up to him and fell asleep. This was my happy place and I hate how Erwin was trying to take that away from me. I wouldn’t let him. I wouldn’t let anyone take away my Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, leaving kudos and comments! I really appreciate it! I'm officially on break and therefore I'm going to be at my grandma's so I won't be able to update next friday, but don't worry I will be back and will continue on! Thanks for the understanding.


	38. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I swear he's like a three year old..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 38

_I love how perfect you are._

~~~

It was the peak of summer and I traded in my spring attire for tank tops and shorts. Not much has happened since I stood up to Erwin, in fact, he never came around all that much. The only interaction we had with him was when Eren went to go do whatever with him. We always lived with that constant secret. I was always wondering if I was getting played with and should just break up with him before he hurt me, but every time I saw his face, I knew. I knew he’d never hurt me. I knew he loved me. I just had to have some faith in him.

“Where are we going?” He whined, a teal blindfold around his eyes.

“You’ll see.” I sighed from the driver’s seat. This was probably the thousandth time he has asked me this same question in the past twenty minutes. I had packed our bags when he wasn’t home and they were safely in the trunk.

“I’m hungry. You didn’t feed me breakfast.”

Dear lord he’s like a three year old. “Maybe because someone was too busy trying to get me to fuck them.”

“You were seducing me in my sleep!”

“I call bull shit.” I rolled my eyes and pulled over to a fast food place. I normally didn’t like going out to fast food restaurants, but I was hungry myself. I went through the drive through and got us each ten chicken nuggets, two medium fries and vanilla milkshakes. Fuck health. We’re on vacation.

“Can I take off the blindfold so I can eat?”

“No.”

“Master! This is impossible!”

“Watch your tone.”

“… Sorry…” He said quietly and shied away from me.

I smiled and patted his head. “It’s fine, now just feel around and eat. If blind people can do it, so can you.”

“So annoying. This is disorienting too. Like where are we?”

“Not saying.”

“Ugh.” He bit into a chicken nugget angrily. He was way too cute.

A two hour car drive with him was probably the most entertaining two hours of my life. He was so restless. Every time I looked over he was either trying to sleep only to fail at it or just sipping his milkshake, which he complained about because it wasn’t chocolate. I told him children were hyper enough and they didn’t need chocolate to help them with that. He pouted and said he wasn’t a child. Bull.

It’s hard to believe that Eren was eighteen. I was happy because we were finally legal and I didn’t have to always watch my back, not that I normally did. I knew no one was going to rat on us. No one gave a shit. I reached over and held his hand. “We’re almost there.”

“Can I look?”

“No.”

“UGH.”

We got to our destination and I opened his door for him after I got our suitcases. “Okay… come with me.” I placed his hand on my shirt and made him follow me. When we stepped into the airport I allowed him to take off his blindfold.

“Huh…? Levi… where…?”

“I promised you the ocean.”

His eyes widened and he squealed loudly. “Thank you, master! Thank you so much!” He held onto me tightly, bouncing a little. We were getting odd looks but I didn’t care. Seeing him so happy was making me happy and that’s all that fucking mattered.

~~~

Once we got onto the plane, Eren couldn’t sit still. He was looking out the window now as we put on our seatbelts and then was talking quickly about everything that he wanted to do when we got to the beach. He paused and looked up at me. “How long are we staying?”

“A week.”

He gasped and shook his head. “Don’t spend that much money on me!”

“Too late.”

“Levi! How much did all this cost?”

“Just a couple hundred.” That was a lie. It was probably closer to five thousand. But I didn’t want him to feel bad that I was doing all this for him. I doubt he believed me anyways.  
Eren sighed and shook his head. “I’ll pay you back…”

“Eren, you’re fine. This is something we both wanted to do.”

“But… I could have at least paid for half…”

“No. Just think of this as a reward.”

“Reward for what?”

“For trying to pass your GED.”

“Well… I doubt I’ll pass. Especially the reading and writing…”

“Oi, I’ve taught you and helped you study. Have more confidence in yourself.”

“Do you really think I passed?”

“Yeah.”

Eren settled in his seat and nodded. “How long is the flight?”

“A little under two hours.”

“What about your car?”

“A buddy of mine is taking it back to my house.”

“Oh… where did you get the money for all this?”

“I’ve been saving up.” I unbuckled us once the attendant said it was okay then pulled out my laptop. I put down the tray in front of us and placed it on that. “Wanna play solitaire?”  
Eren leaned against me and nodded. “Sure.”

I opened the game and started playing. He’d help me every so often but it was just me mostly making the right decisions.

About an hour in our flight, Eren started squirming around.

“What? We’re in first class how can you not be comfortable?” Frankly, I made sure we’d get first class tickets just so not that many people would be around.

“No… it’s not that… I… I…” He blushed red and leaned up to whisper in my ear. “I really want you… I was thinking of dirty things and you weren’t paying attention to me… and… I thought of you fucking me in the bathroom…”

“Eren, my god, no. That’s so filthy.” I complained though the thought wasn’t a bad one. I was just as bored as he was. I sighed and nodded. “Fine. Go back and when no one is noticing I’ll come back.”

“Fuck, yes.” Eren smiled happily and kissed my cheek before making his way back to the small bathroom. What the hell was wrong with me? Normally I would never agree to this… but… Eren was the one who I was going to be doing this with. After a while, I went back and opened the door before stepping in. The sight was stunning.

Eren was leaning against the wall jacking off with his pants around his ankles and his other hand over his mouth.

I shut and locked the door and those vibrant ocean eyes opened and his movements stopped. I walked over to him and started to kiss and suck on his neck. “Eager aren’t we, little puppy? Or do you just want to make this quick?”

“No… I just… Mmmmm… couldn’t hold back.” He whimpered out clinging to me before spreading his legs for me to press him against the wall more. 

I leaned away and slowly started to stroke him. “We don’t have time to go all the way… so I’m going to suck you off.” Even grosser, but I was way too horny to care. I kissed down his body and he became like putty in my hands. I loved it when he was like this. It always made it easy for me to do whatever I wanted to do with him. I wanted to bite into his skin wherever I could. He was so fucking delicious.

“Oh… Levi… get it on with it…” He moaned when I had stopped to bite and suck at his defined stomach. He was panting heavily and his face looked so flushed. He was adorable.

I traveled down further and licked up the vein that ran up his length taking in all the sounds he was making. “Hush, or do you want us to get caught?” I looked up at him challengingly only to see him cover his mouth with a hand quickly. I smirked and slid his hot arousal in my mouth, his tip just playing with my gag reflex. I closed my eyes and hummed, holding his hips tightly as I began to suck on him and slid my mouth back and forth.

“Mmm… Oh… Levi… Fuck, your mouth is small.”

I glared up at him and pressed my teeth a little in his length.

He threw back his head and gritted his teeth. “Ahh… n-not what I meant…”

I chuckled and moved my head faster, feeling a little disgusted by everything in the room. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about it. Blow jobs were never my thing. I hated the taste of cum and I never liked have a hard piece of flesh in my mouth. The whole thing was just revolting. For Eren though, I’d do anything. Almost anything. 

“Nnn… Levi~ I… mmmm… so good…”

I leaned away and stroked him with my hand looking up at him. “Can’t handle it?”

“Ah… you’re just so warm and wet… please…” He opened his eyes and they were so dark and clouded with lust. He was losing it. He was loving all my attentions. I smirked and kissed his stomach before going back down on him, smacking his ass harshly just to hear him cry out.

Eren didn’t last long. When he came, I spat it out in the toilet and wiped my mouth. “Fucking disgusting…”

“…I’m sorry, Levi…”

I glanced over to see him looking down and holding his shirt down to cover himself. I sighed and walked over to him and kissed him gently. I hated when he looked like a kick puppy. I leaned away and gave him a rare, reassuring smile. “Hey, it’s fine. I was expecting it.” I wasn’t. The brat didn’t warn me and I nearly gagged if I hadn’t realized and pulled away when I did. “Come on, let’s get back to our seats. You go first.”

“… Levi…?” He pulled up his pants and fixed his belt before rubbing the back of his neck and looking to the side.

“Yeah?”

“…May I sit in the seat next to you?”

My eyes widened before I smiled and nodded. “You may. Good boy.”

Eren’s eyes lit up and he walked over to me, and I ruffled his hair before pushing him towards the door.

“Get going before we look suspicious.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I think we already looked suspicious the minute we walked on the plane given my collar and all. They probably think you’re prostituting me out.”

“You’d probably love that.” I teased as I washed my hands and mouth.

“Only if it’s with you, master.”

I looked over at him, mouth full of water, and pointed to the door to tell him to leave. Damn kid. He always knew exactly what to say and when to say it. My heart was fluttering enough. This wasn’t fair. How dare he just say shit like that to get me all flustered? He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. I spat out the water and sighed. The taste was still there, but it was a lot more subtle. A couple strawberries from the menu would take care of that. I walked out and joined Eren before calling for a flight attendant. “Can I have strawberries and a brownie?”

She smiled and nodded. “Certainty.”

“I thought you didn’t like sweets?” Eren asked looking over at me in curiosity.

“I don’t.”

“Then why did you get it?”

“Because it’s for you. Think of it as a reward for asking permission to sit down.”

His eyes sparkled and I could see a little drool falling down into his lip before his tongue wiped it away. “Thank you, master.”

I ruffled his hair and shook my head. “No problem, pup.”

We cuddled for a while before our food came. I ate my strawberries and Eren ate his brownie, getting crumbs everywhere but I didn’t complain. He was enjoying himself. I knew this week was going to be the best week of our lives. I had certain plans for us and I knew Eren would agree to them.

When we landed we gathered up our things and called for a taxi. I told Hanji that we landed safely before we went to our hotel. Of course I got the best one for our visit, getting the pent suite at the top floor just so he could look over the whole ocean. He was so excited I couldn’t keep him still. He was running around looking at everything. It was so cute and endearing.

“Levi? Eren?” That was not the voice I wanted to hear.


	39. Ice Cream, Master?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I make an appearance!_  
>  -Armin Arlert

Chapter 39

“What the actual fuck, Erwin? Are you like stalking us?” I was pissed. I seriously didn’t want to deal with this guy or his fucking mushroom, who was clinging to his arm like I was a monster. I wasn’t a monster. His boyfriend was. His boyfriend was the one who abused me for years.

“No, Armin has always wanted to go to the beach so I took him to the nearest one and this just so happened to be the closest hotel to the beach. I know this may come as a big shock, Levi, but not everything is about you. I have my own life.” Erwin scoffed as he wrapped his arm around Armin protectively.

I felt Eren tense next to me. Oh, so he didn’t like their relationship. He was just tolerating it to do whatever with Erwin for my present. I get it. That’s my puppy. He was the smart one. “Whatever. Just don’t be following us around.” I rolled my eyes, grabbed the key card and walking to the elevator. I whistled and Eren stopped staring at the couple and walked over to me. I pressed floor thirteen and we went all the way up to the top.

“I don’t want to be on the thirteenth floor! It’s going to be scary!” Eren complained shifting back and forth. I rolled my eyes at him.

“That’s just movie stuff.”

“We’re gonna die by the ghosts.” Eren muttered rubbing at his arms. “I can already feel their coldness.”

“You’re full of shit.” The doors opened and I walked down a small hallway before sliding the key card in the slot and opening the door which opened up to a big living space with a flat screen in the corner surrounded by a couch, beanbag and coffee table. To the left was a huge ass kitchen and in the back I could just barely see a bedroom with a bathroom connecting to it. In the kitchen was two glass doors that lead out to outside where you could sit on the landing and watch the ocean. It was all really stunning. The walls were all painted a beige and the furniture was all wood save for the couch and bean bag which were black that matched the black counter tops.

“Wooooahhhh…” Eren gasped out from next to me, looking around like he had never seen a hotel before. He took off his shoes and stepped in further. It didn’t take him long to run to the bedroom and start unpacking excitedly.

“Someone’s excited.”

“I am! This is all so cool! It’s like we’re royalty or something like that!” Eren grinned big and took out the box that I had made for him. He picked out a note and smiled before putting it in a bag he got out that was made out of a red cloth that closed by pulling on a brown string.  
“What did it say?”

“I love the way your eyes sparkle like the ocean. Fitting right?” Eren giggled.

Fuck. That was so cheesy. What was I thinking when I wrote that? I rolled my eyes and started unpacking myself doing the same with my box. “I love the way you act all tough when really you’re so sweet and caring.” My cheeks turned a light color of pink and I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. I didn’t think I was a softy at heart. Maybe it was just towards Eren…? I hoped so.

“Awwwe!” Eren crawled over the bed and pinched my cheeks. “You’re blushing! Oh my gosh! Your cheeks are so squishy! Who knew you still had a baby face!” He gasped and kept pulling and pinching my cheeks like the little shit he was.

I slapped his hands away and turned away. “Stop it or I won’t fuck you tonight.”

“Fine by me.” He smiled sweetly which only pissed me off more.

“Who said you could be on the bed, dog?”

Eren flinched and he quickly got off of it and crawled over to me, pawing at my shoes. “I’m sorry, master… are you going to punish me?”

I stared down at him and nodded. “Hands on the wall.”

He whined and crawled over to the wall before standing and putting his hands on it. He looked back at me but I snapped at him to face the wall. He did with reluctance. Not once has Eren ever used the safe word and I planned to keep it that way. I pulled down his pants and boxers and gave him a loud slap to the ass. “How dare you disobey me?” This was how I normally started punishments. The rules I had set were easy rules to follow if Eren would just remember to do them, but he sometimes forgot. It was rare though and a good spanking normally got him into shape.

“I’m sorry, master.”

“Do you know why you’re facing the wall?”

“No…”

SLAP. “Because you don’t deserve to look at your master after breaking his rules.”

“I’m sorry, master…” Eren whimpered.

SLAP. Eren’s back would arch each time and a squeal would come past his lips. His hands curled to fists against the wall.

“Repeat the rule three times.” SLAP. My hand was starting to hurt.

“I must ask permission to be on furniture. I must ask permission to be on furniture. I must ask permission to be on furniture.” His head dropped and he looked like a defeated puppy that just got in trouble for pissing all over the floor. “… I’m sorry, master. I’ll be good… forgive me…”

“You’re forgiven.”

And with those words he was his usual self again, beaming and hugging me tightly after pulling up his pants and boxers. I knew his ass was red so we’d have to make sure he wasn’t sitting anywhere hard. He leaned into my ear and I had to try to hide the shutter that ran through me when he whispered in it. My ears were a weak point and I hated it because I knew the little shit knew they were. “Can we get ice cream now, master?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Yes.”

“Yay!” He smiled and we quickly finished getting unpacked then went down the elevator again.

~~~

-Armin-

~~~

“Did you know they were going to be here, Erwin?” I hissed and crossed my arms, sitting on the bed we had shared for the past couple days.

“No, I swear, Ar-baby.” Erwin came up behind me and rubbed at my shoulders. “This was supposed to be special. Just a you and me vacation.”

“Then why are they here? How come we just wound up in the same place?!”

“They came after we did… I wouldn’t know. I don’t talk to them.” Erwin defended before crossing his own arms. “Do you not believe me?”

“I don’t. You are obsessed with Levi.”

“Armin, you know I’m not.”

“You think of him a lot!” And that fact hurt. That fact ripped my heart up every time I thought of it, which was a lot. “Why would you collar me if you weren’t over Levi yet?!”

“Armin, I am over Levi. We’re friends. Hardly that.” The pain in his eyes when he said that pissed me off.

I got up and started putting my things in my bag. “I can’t believe you!”

“Armin… why are you upset? So what if we wound up in the same place… you still have me. My focus is spending the time with you and enjoying our vacation by ourselves.” Erwin walked up and held my hands, which caused me to look up at him. He was sincere. I couldn’t be mad at him then.

I looked down and sighed. “I just… wanted one week where I didn’t have to hear about Levi or you be with Eren…”

“Are you scared I’m going to leave you for one of them?”

“Aren’t you?” I looked up at him with teary eyes and he shook his head quickly.

“No, kitten. I love you. I don’t want to be without you.”

I leaned into his hold and sighed. “Okay… if you say so…”

“I do.” He chuckled and kissed my head.

“So… ummm… I’m sorry I accused you of that…” I looked down. I really felt guilty simply because I did accuse him of still having feelings for Levi. I knew when he got together with me he was a mess. I knew he was still hung up over Levi and I wanted to be that person who helped him through that. And he really was an amazing person. Whatever side of Erwin Levi had known, I hadn’t met yet. Levi and Eren have both said that Erwin was abusive… but I knew that that wasn’t true because he has never laid an unwanted hand on me. Even after he punishes me he tries his best to make sure I’m comfortable and know how much I’m loved. Maybe… Levi just didn’t know how to communicate to him?

“It’s okay. I would have accused you too if our roles were switched.” He smiled at me gently as he pulled me closer to him so we could cuddle. “Do you want to do anything?”

I clung to him and nuzzled him. “I don’t know…”

“Want some ice cream? That normally perks you up.”

“Heh, you do too.”

“But I know sweets perk up my little kitten too.”

“Only if I can get the biggest sundae ever!” I smiled big. “With like all the toppings!”

“You shouldn’t spoil your dinner like that, kitten. You might get a tummy ache.” Erwin sighed and stroked the side of my hair.

I pouted and crossed my arms. “But you offered so it’s your fault anyways!”

Erwin chuckled and nodded. “Okay, I guess I can accept that, but only if we share it.”

I whined and pawed at his lap, “How about… I eat all of it and then later I can let you take me however way you want. Yeah that sounds like a good deal!”

“Don’t you let me every night?”

“But I’ll let you… umm… tie me up and blindfold me.” It was one of my hard limits. The first and last time we experimented with blindfolding I was panicked and used the safe word. That was when I learned when to use the safe word. I’ve never felt that scared in my life. Not being able to see was always my biggest fears. Not knowing what was happening around me was just a scary idea to me. I didn’t like it… but… I knew Erwin loved seeing me like that. I had to try and succeed this time. I wanted him to know I can do anything he wanted me to do.

“No. I’ll get you your ice cream but not because of that. That is one of your hard limits and I won’t put you in that situation again unless you absolutely want to.”

“I want to.”

“Why?”

“…Because I don’t want to fail you.”

“Wrong answer. You haven’t failed me, kitten. If it’s something you’re uncomfortable with I’d rather you just tell me so we don’t hurt each other. I don’t want our relationship to wind up like all the others. This is no big surprise, but I actually like you and I want to be with you. I don’t want to hurt you, Armin. So, no. I won’t do it for that reason. You never have to step out of your comfort levels for me.” 

My heart skipped a beat. He cared that much for me…? A grin formed on my face and I quickly hid it in his chest. I’ve never felt this loved before. Not by Mikasa, not by Eren, only him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his chest. “Thank you…”

“You should have known that. Don’t be afraid to tell me you’re scared or uncomfortable, okay?” He said it in such a sweet and relaxed tone I instantly closed my eyes and nodded.

“Okay, let’s go get you that ice cream. I think I saw a parlor a block away when we went shopping yesterday.”

I slid off him and got up putting on my converse, my white shorts and blue t-shirt newly bought. I really did look like a tourist, but Erwin said that was the point. He wanted to get me some flip flops but I told him that I felt more comfortable wearing shoes. Feet were gross.

He got up and put on his own shoes before taking my hand and leading me to the elevator. We went down and then out the lobby. It was always an exciting thing to hold Erwin’s hand. I never thought I’d love holding someone’s hand so much. Because he is so huge, we do look like father and son and it throws people off when we hold hands and kiss each other in public. I liked that until people come up and accuse Erwin of molesting a child. Then I have to get out my ID to prove that we are legal. That was the only thing about it, but most people just watch and holding his hand always felt like _I_ owned him. We got questioned when we arrived, but after that we’ve had a smooth trip so far.

We walked out into the hot summer sun and walked down the side walk. It was a pretty remote area, so there wasn’t too many cars driving by. We walked into the small parlor and my eyes instantly landed on Eren, who was being scolded for eating “like a one year old”. Levi’s words, not mine. His grey eyes met mine and the whole room grew tense. I hid behind Erwin, but he just walked up to the counter and asked for the biggest sundae they could make. “Are you going to be a good kitten and eat all this?”

“Yeah.” I smiled up at him, holding onto his shirt nervously, knowing we were being watched.

“And you won’t get messy like Eren?”

That’s when it happened.

A hand was slammed down on the table and when I looked over I saw Levi had stood up and judging by his red palm, he was the one to make the noise. “Don’t talk about my boyfriend that way! Not when you parade yours around like a fucking animal.”

I cringed. It wasn’t that Erwin did that because he requested it. I requested it. I wanted to be his kitten twenty-four seven. And now he was being blamed for it. I didn’t want to be here anymore.


	40. We're Not the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reasons behind Erwin's behavior is revealed...

Chapter 40

Hey, Armin here. I found this in Eren’s journal and since Levi doesn’t feel like writing this I’ll just have what he put down. Okay? Okay!

~~~

-Eren-

“At least mine isn’t keeping secrets from me.”

I quickly shot up and held Levi back when I saw him about to lunge at the larger man. I wrapped my arms under his and held him back.

“Bastard! Don’t accuse him of fucking cheating when you know damn well that he isn’t! Especially not in front of Armin! Not when you know damn well if Eren was cheating on me with anyone it would be fucking you because he keeps going over there with shit explanations! Don’t throw that shit in Armin’s face!” Levi was struggling and I bit my lip. Should I explain myself? I didn’t want to ruin the surprise since it already put us through so much… but I wasn’t going to lose my whole damn relationship just because I was trying to surprise him.

“Levi, I-”

“I don’t want to know. It’s a surprise for me, right? Don’t spoil it just because a bastard like him is starting shit.” His voice lowered and softened and I was glad about that because that meant he wasn’t mad at me. He trusted me. I always knew he did, but this just confirmed it.

“You don’t know a damn thing, Levi. Why the fuck do you even care? Armin is not your business. What we do is none of your business.”

Levi turned to him and glared daggers at him. I swear, if glares could kill Erwin would be so far down in fucking hell right now he’d be just charred up bones. By this point, Levi and mine’s shared ice cream is ate for the most part and what’s left has melted, so if we left I didn’t care. “It is my business since Armin is Eren’s best friend and whatever affects Armin affects Eren which affects me.”

What was said next is what made me say something I will regret for the rest of my life.

“I think you’d just be hurt because then you couldn’t get into Eren’s pants.” Armin mumbled rubbing the back of his neck.

Levi’s eyes widened and I knew he was shocked. He was just standing there in my arms with everyone looking at us in curiosity. My blood was boiling. I could feel the atmosphere get heavier in the room. I grabbed Levi’s hand and threw away our trash before turning to Armin. “Fuck you. Levi isn’t like that.”

“It doesn’t seem that way to me.”

My hand tightened in his hold and that was probably the only reason why I didn’t beat the shit out of Armin that day. I just left with a simple. “We’re not friends. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even mutter my goddamn name. I _never_ want to see you again.” I pulled Levi close to me and we walked outside, him still in shock from both me and Armin. I ignored the sob on the way out. It was probably from Armin but I honestly did not even care. It was a long walk back to our hotel room with none of us talking. We went up to our floor and I fell on the couch. I started crying because that was the first time Armin and I have ever had a falling out. I was instantly wrapped in his arms and pressed to his chest and the sound of his heartbeat slowly calmed me into coughing fits and sniffling. He cringed at both and handed me a couple tissues. 

“Dry your face, pup.” He whispered calmly while still rubbing my back. “Let’s just stay in for the rest of the day. We can call room service when we get hungry and watch movies.

“O-Okay… thank you, Levi… I… I’m sorry I’m a bad puppy…”

“When did I say you were a bad puppy?”

“Erwin-”

Levi put his hand up to stop me and shook his head. “Don’t fucking listen to him. He’s nobody.”

I looked down not so sure of that before slipping off the couch. “I’m sorry, master… can I sit on the couch?”

“Get the fuck up here…” Levi sighed.

I sat back down next to him and started crying more. “Armin probably hates me… I choose you over him.”

“Eren, don’t. The minute you start regretting what you did is the same moment you will question everything you ever done and everything you are about to do. Live a life with no regrets. That way you will always make the right decision. I have never known what to do with my life, but I don’t regret a single thing.”

“…Not even stuff you did in the past?”

Levi exhaled and started stroking my back. “Eren, I have a story to tell you. Want to hear it?”

I nodded not knowing what else to say.

“Once upon a time, a boy at the age of sixteen got kicked out of the house for a week. The streets of France were fairly nice so that’s why his mother did it. She wanted him to try harder, appreciate what he had. The plan backfired though. He was walking through the streets and this dirty ass kid ran up to him and went on to say about how he saw him get kicked out and if he wanted to join a gang. Of course the boy said no because he could handle himself for a week, but this kid kept pestering him and pestering him so finally he said why the fuck not? That’s when he joined the Corps. He became the greatest thug out there in that one week. He continued to work in the gang even after his mother allowed him back in the house. One night though… this other gang came by and killed his two very best friends he would ever have. He was devastated. His parents argued over him and finally he ran away. He found the gang that killed his friends and he was so filled with rage. He killed them all. Every single one of them.”

I gasped. He had my full attention.

“When his father found him he was crying over the bodies. His mother was disappointed in him and said he wasn’t her child. His father took him to America and that’s when he met this guy in high school. He was the first person to ever hear the full story like this and he stared down at him and said “You can’t regret your decisions. If you had been there instead of being in your comfortable bed you could have died too. Live a life with no regrets. That’s all we can do.” So, that’s how it was. The boy stopped mourning and started living a life with no regrets and it wound him up with an adorable boyfriend and an easy life.”

My eyes widened. That story was about Levi. Levi had done that. Levi had killed people. He never even told me. I looked down at my lap not sure how to process all that.  
A hand was place on mine and then a soft whisper came, “Eren, it wasn’t a story that was supposed to scare you. It was a story to make you realize that calling off your friendship isn’t the end of the world.”

“How many…?”

“How many what?”

I looked up at him in fear, “How many did you kill?”

He flinch and I instantly regretted my question. “There was at least twenty or thirty.”

“… How?”

“…With two guns and a knife.”

“…” I looked down and sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine, honestly.” He leaned back and I curled up on the couch with my head in his lap.

“Can we watch that movie now…?”

Levi chuckled and nodded. He turned on the TV and scrolled through the selection on On Demand. He picked a scary movie about a mirror being able to control people’s minds or something. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too busy getting my hair stroked and dozing in and out of sleep. I don’t think he minded though. He was comfy.

After the movie, he called a pizza and they brought it up. We ate pizza and drank pops. We had a competition with how many slices we could eat and Levi ended up eating 3/4ths the pizza while I only could manage a couple of slices. Once we were done, Levi led me to the bathroom.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He chuckled as he started stripping.

“Yeah… Tomorrow can we go to the beach?”

Levi nodded and stepped into the shower where he made sure to get it to a comfortable temperature before he allowed me to get in with him. We washed each other just because and then held each other close just whispering little nothings with the warm water spraying down on us. I think we needed this considering all the shit we’ve been through. It was always reassuring to know that the other will be there by the end of the day. Once our shower turned cold, we got out and we put on boxers and headed to bed. I think it was probably the best day of my life.

~~~

-Armin-

~~~

I sat down at a table. I played with my ice cream sadly, trying to stop crying. That had hurt.

“Do you want to leave?” This was probably the fifth time Erwin asked and I just shook my head. I didn’t want to go back to the hotel because what if that was where Eren was going? I didn’t want to run into him again. He was so mad at me. I’ve never be the one that anger was directed to. Ever.

I ate my ice cream quietly, but even that didn’t cheer me up. I looked up at Erwin and puffed out my cheeks at him. “Why’d you have to make Levi pissed?” I was mad and hurt and I knew I was directing my anger towards the wrong person, but damnit, if Erwin would have just kept his mouth shut and not made fun of Eren, I would still be friends with Eren. We and they would have never talked if Erwin hadn’t started anything.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know all that was going to happen. I just wanted to see how he would react.” He tried to say calmly, but I could see the pain in his eyes. He was upset that I was blaming him. Good. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so fucking rude to people.

“Why do you care so much about them? Who cares what they are doing? I don’t. The only thing I don’t like about them is that I feel that Levi is just using Eren, but I’m not trying to break them up like you are. Why are you? I don’t understand.”

Erwin sighed and took my hand. “I don’t want Eren getting hurt. That’s why I’m trying to break them up before he does. Levi can’t handle commitment after his wife died. He never has. I know Eren is looking for something stable and will actually be turned into a long lasting relationship and that just isn’t with Levi. Levi is the type a guy who would rather just keep everything the same and not get serious with anyone. I promise I’m doing it for the right reasons.”

“…” I looked down. It made sense. Erwin knew Levi better than anyone. He would know if Levi could handle a relationship or not. I nodded and flipped my hand over so I could hold his hand. “They hate us… Eren doesn’t even want to see me ever again…” I choked on that but forced the words to come out. He was my best friend and because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut he chose Levi over me. “…He chose him over me…”

“He did, but I don’t think he’ll stay mad at you for forever.” 

“How do you know?”

“Because he doesn’t seem like the type. Especially towards you. He’s probably crying just as much as you’re trying not to right now. You two are inseparable. I don’t think he’ll give you up.”

I nodded and started to eat my ice cream with more happiness to it. It was mostly melted, but it was still good. Somehow, Erwin’s calm thinking always got me to be happier than I was. He always seemed to be right and that was always reassuring. I may not know what he’s doing half the time, but I have to trust him enough to know that it is the right thing to do. My hand went up to my collar and I started playing with it. “I’m sorry…”

“…why are you apologizing?” He tilted his head at me and squeezed my hand.

“Because I keep accusing you of stuff when I know you’re just trying to do what you feel is right… I keep doubting you and I know I shouldn’t because it will ultimately end our relationship… I just can’t help it sometimes… you’re just so mysterious.” I chuckled not knowing how to explain myself. It wasn’t that he was mysterious, I just couldn’t read him like I could most people. Levi and Eren were two very open books. I know what they would do in any situation. Erwin on the other hand, I couldn’t even begin to know what he was thinking half the time. Maybe even one fourth of the time.

“I’ll explain to you why I’m doing things more often and what I’m thinking. I don’t want you to be confused or doubt me anymore, okay?” He gave me that charming smile and tapped my foot under the table.

I smiled and tapped his foot back. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, master.”

“You’re very welcome, kitten.”

I blushed and smiled more at him. I always loved when he called me that. It sent butterflies throughout my chest. I knew whenever he said that that he wasn’t mad at me. That he loved me and treasured me. That I was cute little kitten that he could trust to hold his heart. “I’m all giddy. Stop it.” I couldn’t stop the laughs erupting from my lips or the kicks I did under the table.

“Oh, okay. I’ll never call you my kitten ever again.” He teased me and tapped my feet back whenever I hit his.

“Nooooooo! Don’t do that! I want to be called your kitten.” I whimpered and pawed at the table. My hands were normally in fists because I was used to crawling on the floor on my hands and knees. To get the full affect I would ball my hands up so they’d be like paws. I noticed that Erwin liked my inventiveness and he gave me a treat for going the extra mile.

“Okay, okay. No need to whine.”

“My ice cream melt…”

“That’s okay. We can get one to go and we can walk on the boardwalk to see the town?”

“Yeah!” I smiled and got up and we got two more ice creams to go and walked out. The boardwalk bordered the whole town and I could see the ocean on my left. It was so pretty and with Erwin next to me, it made it all the more perfect. After our walk, we walked to our room. We cuddled up to each other on the bed and I fell asleep in no time. I had nightmares though. I had nightmares of watching Levi kill Eren. It was a long night for me, but I didn’t disturb Erwin. He deserved his sleep. We did not share the same pain like Levi and Eren did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos! Sorry if I don't reply to everyone's, my email hasn't been sending me notifications when someone comments...  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. The next update should be next Friday. If you want to ask questions and stuff I will reply on DeviantArt because that seems to be working. XD The link is here: http://zimxdib.deviantart.com/  
> Thanks!


	41. A Day on the Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eren is a ball of fucking energy._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 41

“Levi! Over here!”

I looked over to see a bright eyed brunette running up to spike the ball. It was a sunny evening on our second day here and he was a ball of energy. I always loved Eren like this. He was wearing green trunks and was covered in sand from falling. We were playing volleyball with these girls we met on the beach. It was Eren’s idea to play volleyball. I pushed the ball over to him and he spiked it over only for the girls to hit it back over to us. It was two verses two so it was kind of fun. I was getting dehydrated though. “Eren… This is our last game.” We had spent the day touring and looking in different shops. I might have spoiled him a little too much considering we ended up with five different bags that all had something for Eren. Mostly it was new clothes or little trinkets. I still had enough money for the big surprise though. That wouldn’t be revealed to the last day though.

“Okay! Thank you, Levi!” He grinned at me and spiked the ball over again. The girls ended up leaving before we did. I got our stuff together and walked over to the machines. I bought each of us a water and walked back to our towels. I sat down and handed Eren a bottle.

“Thank you, Levi.” He crawled over me and nuzzled me. “This has all been really great.”

“After you drink put more sunscreen on. I don’t want you to get burnt.”

Eren chuckled and nodded. “You’ll get burned more easily than I will since you’re so pale.”

“Cheeky brat.” I muttered and tilted my head and drank large gulps of water.

Eren laughed and drank his own before putting some sunscreen on his hands and began rubbing it all over his body. “Get my back?”

I nodded and turned him around before starting to rub at his back. He was so stunning. I never realized how strong Eren actually was. I admired his cuteness… but I was impressed by his muscles. I could feel how strong and tough they were under his skin. I rubbed his back until I heard his breathing change. “Oi, don’t go to sleep.”

He instantly woke up and shook his breath. “I wasn’t sleeping. Just… closing my eyes… for a second…” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ummm… Levi?”

“What?” I asked applying another coat of the cream to my own body.

“Can you swim with me?”

My hands stopped rubbing. My eyes widened. I gulped. Petra… had died because of me. I shook my head. “N-No… go ahead. I like watching you.”

Eren gave me a concerned look before reaching out and taking my hand. “You know… I won’t let you go under or anything. No need to be scared of the water.”

I looked up at him and shook my head. “I’d rather stay on land… Eren… I don’t want you to follow the same path as Petra.”

Eren’s eyes instantly filled with tears and he shook his head. “N-No… It’s not like that Levi. I promise. Let’s face your fear together. Okay? I want to swim with you… I really just wanted to do that with you this whole time… so please…” He bit his lip and looked to the side. Was he trying to decide whether or not he should press any further? I wouldn’t if I was him. This was a touchy subject and all my friends, including him, knew that. 

“…Eren… I don’t like the water…”

Eren held me closer and looked down. “But… the water isn’t what killed Petra.”

I flinched. No, I did. I dug my hands in the ground and looked away from him. “Eren-”

“And you didn’t either. She had heart problems… there was nothing you could have done. You didn’t know the current was that strong. You didn’t know that she was going to come in and save you. You can’t blame yourself for that. No one blames you for that.”

“I was her husband I was supposed to protect her.” Why was I being such a baby about this? Yes, she was my wife but she also had a lot of medical issues. I knew it wasn’t my fault completely. I was just the reason she wanted to die. She wanted to die protecting me. I slammed my fist on the sand and shook my head. “I fucked up and it is my fault.”

Eren’s hands slid up my arms and he leaned forward to kiss my temple. “Shhh… it’s not. Don’t regret living. Did you want to make her sad by dying? Did you never want to meet me? Everything happens for a reason and… this may sound selfish… but I’m glad Petra died because then I got the chance to be with you. I got the chance to hold you and kiss you and be your puppy and I know it’s wrong for me to say all this but… I wouldn’t change history.”

I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to register all that. Yes, if Petra would have lived I wouldn’t have done any of this. But, if Petra had lived I would have been happy earlier on in my life. I wouldn’t have been abused by Erwin. I wouldn’t have met Eren… but I would have been with Petra. Who knows what we could have done. We could have had three kids and a huge house. A place to call home. We had dreamt of all that. We had hung out on the hood of my car, looking up at the stars just talking about how we were going to live in the future once we had gotten out of college. We were so ambitious. We were so perfect. I didn’t think anything was going to tear us apart. But I did. My heart felt like it was being crushed in a fist. I couldn’t breathe and that’s when I knew I was crying. I was crying right in front of Eren. He must hate me for not letting go of the past.

“Levi…”

I looked over and he kissed me softly on the lips, bringing me closer. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around him. This is all I could do. I would never push him away. I would never want to hurt him, even if that meant hurting myself in the process.

He leaned away and wiped my tears away with his long tanned fingers. “It’s okay to cry, but after you stop crying it’s time to move on. It’s time to walk in the future. I’ll lend you some of my strength because I don’t want to waste a single second of our lives. Lives are so short, Levi. That’s why we always have to keep moving forward.

I bit my lip and looked down. Damn poetic brat. “Right… Come on. Let’s go into the damn water if it really means that much to you.” I sighed and got up. I took his hand and we slowly walked to the shore. I was shaking slightly and it pissed me off. This wasn’t like me. I normally wasn’t afraid of anything. Hell, I killed huge ass monsters surrounded by huge ass trees. Why couldn’t I handle a little bit of water? It hit up to my ankles and I clung closer to Eren. I wasn’t scared of pools… so why was this so different? I took a deep breath and we continued to walk into the never ending ocean. The water was cold and gave me goosebumps. I could feel the sand shift under my weight. It… wasn’t so bad.  
Eren squeezed my hand and started walking further out. “Come on, the water feels nice…”

I started walking with him, holding his hand in a death grip. If I lost his hand now I don’t know if I’d be able to do this. I would run right back to the shore in a heartbeat. Once the ocean hit my waist I clung to Eren’s arm. “I-I don’t want to… no…”

Eren looked over at me and pulled me into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay. I promise it’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll be here the whole time.”

“What if I get pulled under?”

“Then I’ll come get you. That’s what puppies do best. They retrieve.”

I chuckled and looked to the side before taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

He smiled and continued to walk us into the water. He stopped when I had to tread in the water and smiled. “You’re doing so good, master.”

“Shut up and it’s well.”

“Whatever, Mr. Teacher. I’m surprised you even remember how to swim.”

“I’m not a strong swimmer…”

“We should go under together.”

“What?! No!”

“Come on, Levi. You’ll be more relaxed once you get completely wet. You won’t be so cold either.”

“Eren…”

“Come on, Levi. For me?”

“You’re asking a lot, you little shit.”

“I know… but please? It’s to get over your fear. It’ll mean a lot to me.”

Because it would show that I trusted him. I sighed and nodded before taking both of his hands and slowly eased myself into the water until the water went over my head. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like how the water was surrounding me, crushing the air out of my lungs. I couldn’t breathe and all I could hear was her scream. She had screamed before she came and got me. I started to freak out, but before I could panic Eren pulled me back up. As soon as I hit the surface I took in a deep breath and clung to his shoulders so he was keeping me up. I wrapped my legs around him and coughed. I shivered and tears were falling down my cheeks, mixing with the water on it. “… Don’t make me do that again…” 

Eren held me close and kissed my head. “I won’t… I’m sorry, Levi… I was just… trying to help.”

“I know… just don’t make me do that…”

“Okay… are you hungry? We should get an early dinner and then you can read to me some more on our towels. How does that sound?”

“Yeah…” I actually liked the sound of that. I loved how the ocean looked so I was glad Eren wasn’t one of those people that liked to travel and then just sit in a hotel the whole time. I allowed him to help me get back to shore where we picked up all our stuff and walked to go and get some burgers and this burger joint. We sat down outside and put the towels on the plastic chairs so they wouldn’t get to wet or uncomfortable.

“So, how’s the vacation so far?” I asked looking up at him.

“It’s great! And we still have like… five more days.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. What book do you want me to read you?”

“The one about the insane asylum or whatever? You know with the criminal? And the one with like a bird in the title?”

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?”

“Yeah! That!” Eren chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I really like that one.”

“Okay, we’ll have to go back to the hotel to get it, but once it starts getting dark out we’ll have to stop or when my voice gives out. Whichever one that happens first.” I chuckled and took a big bite out of my hamburger that had everything on it but mustard.

Eren giggled and nodded. “Yeah! Okay! Then we can go home and watch a movie!”

“Do you ever sleep?” I think he was up early too. Tomorrow he was probably going to sleep all day. We’ll go see the stars then. I wanted this to be the best vacation Eren has ever had.

“Nope!” He laughed more before stealing one of my fries even though he had a whole stack in front of him. Damn brat.

“… I have a question.”

He looked up and his face turned serious. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to be my puppy twenty four seven? Like even in public? Like how Armin is Erwin’s kitten in public?” It disgusted me when they did that. Erwin wouldn’t have been caught dead with me as his kitten in public. It was sick that he was even using the same nickname as he used for me. He had no respect for Armin but Armin was never going to see that. He though Erwin loved him. It was complete bullshit. It was obvious that Erwin still had his sights on someone entirely different.

“… I’ve never really thought about it. But, yeah. I guess.” Eren nodded.

I smiled and nodded. “Okay.” We finished our early dinner and went to the hotel to grab the book. We walked to the beach, thankful that everything was in walking distance, where I read to him for nearly an hour. “Ol’ Sandy got _married_. You remember Artie Gilfillian from Beaverton? Always used to show up at the parties with some gassy thing, a gopher snake or a white mouse or some gassy thing like that in his pocket? A-” I stopped and coughed my high pitched voice killing me. “A real maniac.” I looked up at Eren to see he was laying on his towel looking at me in excitement. I was about to pop his bubble though. “My throat is sore…”

“Oh… Okay… Then let’s stop for today. Levi…?”

“What?”

“Can you build a sandcastle with me?”

I chuckled and nodded. “Go collect shells and get a bucket from the shop.” I handed him my wallet and the little shit nodded excitedly before running to town. I laid back on my towel and looked up at the pink and purple sky. It was breath taking. I closed my eyes and basked in the pleasure of hearing the ocean crash against the shore. I must have been tired than I thought because I woke up from Eren shaking me and whispering my name in my ear. “Hmm?”

“I got the shells and the bucket.”

“Okay… start digging a hole.” We started digging and pouring water in the hole before putting sand on top and beginning to sculpt the castle. It was tiring work, but Eren seemed to be enjoying himself and that’s all that mattered by this point. When we finished the biggest sandcastle I’ve ever seen we stood beside it and took a picture of it and we, Eren’s arms wrapped around me and his had resting on mine. He seemed so happy to have taken pictures so I let him take pictures of anything he wanted until I told him it was time go inside.

~~~

“That was so fun! Thank you, Levi!”

I shrugged and walked into our bathroom. I took off my swim trunks and rolled my eyes. “You think anything with me is fun. Now come on. Let’s get this sand off us. We smell like fish shit.”

Eren laughed and jumped in the shower with me. We washed each other and then walked to the bed. We didn’t even bother putting on clothes. We just got in the bed, snuggled up to each other and fell asleep just like that. It was a simple day, but it was still great. The person next to me was all that mattered and I think that’s why even days like this made me so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! :3 I love all your comments even if they're all just being pissed at Erwin. XD Thank you for the kudos too! I didn't really know what to do with this chapter so if it sucks... that's why... I just want to get to the end of the vacation because that's when the next big thing is gonna happen! ;) You're going to flip.  
> Anyways, thanks!


	42. The Stars Come Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Fourth day of vacation. Romance and shit._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 42

It was the third day at midnight. I knew Eren so fucking well. He had slept all day and woke up at dinner time. We were munching on apple slices, strawberries and watermelon. Fruits gave you more energy so I had them send some up despite it being close to the end of the day. We were going to look at the stars away.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Hmm?” I asked biting into a strawberry the sweet juice accidently running down my chin.

He giggled and leaned over to wipe it away with a napkin before looking to the side. “Well, I was wondering if you could sing to me.”

“…I sing depressing as fuck songs why do you want to listen to that?”

“I don’t. I want you to sing a love song to me.”

“…Eren...”

“Please?”

“Will it mean that much to you?”

“Yes!” He smiled and popped the end of his apple slice in his mouth.

“Fine… only because you asked and I was already doing romantic as fuck shit tonight.”

“What are we doing?”

“Looking at the stars on the beach.”

He gasped and wiggled in his seat. “Please, master!”

“It was already decided. It’s fortunate that we’ve had good weather.” I was actually thankful that it hasn’t rained on us yet. I had tried to make sure that we weren’t going to have bad weather on our vacation, but really when has the weathermen ever been correct?

“It’s because we’re here and you always bring good luck!”

“Oh, you call being with you good luck?”

“Yes!”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “You’re an idiot.”

He gasped and shook his head. “That was so rude!”

“Not really… I just called you what you are.” I teased him.

“Even ruder!”

I laughed and tackled him to the floor. I tickled his sides and shook my head. “I am not rude, you little shit. You’re the one who always calls me short and old.”

Eren laughed and squirmed under my tickles. He started kicking me, but I leaned away to avoid his kicks and punches. “Stop! Stop! This is torture! Please! I’m begging!”

“Are you really?” I chuckled and continued to tickle him anyways.

“Yes!”

“Hmmm… I don’t know…”

“Please, Levi!” He whimpered and I stopped when I saw tears in his eyes.

“Sorry… I went too far.” I flinched when he kicked my stomach lightly.

“I just wanted to eat some fruit with you and then you had to ruin it!”

“Please, you’re the one who wouldn’t get the fuck up this morning which caused us to eat fruit this late at night.” I rolled my eyes. “Did you even grab a card from your box yet?”

“No… have you?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Then what are we waiting for?!” He gasped and got up running to our boxes that were on the TV stand. He came back with mine and I took out a card.

“Read yours first.” I ordered holding the piece of paper close to my chest.

“Yes, master.” He opened the folded piece of paper and hummed. “I love when you learn a new word and get so… ex... ci… ted…” He tumbled over the last word, but I was proud he was able to read most words. “I said that right?”

“Yep.”

He smiled and shot his fists up in the air before leaning back. “What’s yours?”

I opened the piece of paper and chuckled, “I love how short you are. See? You are rude as fuck.”

“Oh my gosh! You totally rigged that! What was the possibility of you getting that one?!” Eren gasped out and shook his head before getting up. “Can we go to the beach now?”  
“Yeah. Let me just get on some knew clothes.” I got up and walked to our room only to be pushed down on the bed. I squirmed and rolled over so I was facing him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Kissing you.” He whispered as he leaned down and kissed me softly.

I relaxed under his touches and sighed out as I kissed him back just as lazily. He was annoying. One minute I could be so furious at him and then the next minute I was melting under his fingers in my hair and those warm lips against my chapped ones. He was too perfect. That’s what was wrong with him. It just showed how imperfect I was. He was always so gentle with me. He was also patient and caring. He knew my limits and what he could push me to do. I wrapped my arms around him and brought him closer. I was so very glad I had met him.

Eren hummed against my lips and played with my hair before leaning away and looking down at me. “You’re too irresistible, master.”

A light shade of pink spread across my cheeks as I stared up into those green eyes that were filled with fire. “… Really?”

“Really.” He smiled and bit my lip. “You always make puppy swoon over you.”

“You’re an idiot…” I whispered and kissed him again just to shut him up. I didn’t like it how he was whispering such wonderful nothings in my ear. When people did that it always made my heart flutter and my face heat up. It was difficult for me to be my confident cocky self. 

His hand came down and gripped at my chest, leaning away from the kiss. “Levi? Instead of looking at the stars… can I top you? We can look at the stars tomorrow…”

I stiffened up and looked away from him. The last time I bottomed was to Erwin… and that had ended us. My heart was racing. The timing was perfect. The little shit made sure it would be. How had I not noticed that he was setting up the mood for this one question? Manipulative little shit. “… Eren… I don’t know…”

“I’ll be gentle… and I want my first time to be with you. I-I may wuss out anyways…” He looked down at me, pleadingly. He pawed at my chest and licked my cheek before whispering in my ear huskily. “Please? I know it’s a lot to ask for… but… I really want to do this.”

“…Fine…” Fear ran through me the minute I said the word. What if this ruined us? Yes, sex wasn’t what ruined me and Erwin, but it was a part of it. What if… I wasn’t ready for this?

“Levi, what’s the safe word?”

My eyes widened. That’s right. We had a safe word and Eren _would_ stop if need be. “...red light…” I whispered and wrapped my legs around him. “…Are you sure you don’t just want to see the stars?”

“…Levi… if you’re that nervous we don’t have to do this. We can just go see the stars. I just wanted to see if you’d let me.”

“…On… On the last day of the vacation I’ll let you. Tonight though… I just want to see the stars.” I could prepare myself by then. It was four days away and I would be able to get my mind ready for that. Plus, by then I would know if he’d want to be with me forever or not.

“Okay.” He smiled and kissed me one last time before getting off me. “Get dressed then.”

I got up and took off my clothes before putting on brown shorts and a white tank top with a blue stripe in the middle. “Ready?”

“Yeah!” He smiled and took my hand and led me to the elevator. I grabbed the key card on the way out before we went down. We walked to the beach in silence before just sitting down in the sand. I had forgotten a towel but I didn’t really mind. A shower was always nice to have anyways. Eren laid down on my arm, cuddling up to my side as we looked up at the never ending sky. I had always liked the night sky. Even when I was little I would go out on a hill and just stare up at it. It was so mysterious and intimidating. You didn’t know what was out there or what was going to die out there. Tonight a star could be shining so brightly and then the next night have died and can’t be seen anymore. It was calming.

“… You look really happy.”

“I like the night sky.” I chuckled and kissed his head looking over at him.

“Why? It’s so boring.”

“It’s like the ocean. It goes on forever and ever. You don’t know what’s out there and you don’t know what could be happening. It’s mysterious and amazing.”

“… We can do this more if you want at home.”

“We live in a populated area. Unlike this small place, we would have a lot of light pollution and not be able to see them as clearly.”

“… Then… let’s move. Let’s go live in like the wilderness or somewhere so you can see the stars every night.” Eren cuddled closer. I was touched. He would go anywhere with me just so I’d be happy even if his friends and family are at home.

“Our friends are back at home. I wouldn’t want to leave them.”

“But didn’t you used to leave them often?” He looked up at me with sad eyes. That was bringing up bad times where I had hurt many people by leaving.

“…I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t handle it. The town we live in is full of people that all try to control me and I couldn’t handle it. That’s why I kept leaving. But because of my friends and loved ones I came back. I couldn’t stay and I couldn’t leave. That was the problem until I met you.”

He smiled and leaned up kissing my cheek before settling back down. “I always wanted to see the whole world. I hated how I couldn’t because I couldn’t read… but now that you’ve taught me I can get my driver’s license. I can go out to eat. I can read maps and signs… I can do everything I’ve ever wanted to do. All because of you. Thank you.”

I smiled and turned on my side to face him. “It was really no problem. I wanted you to be able to go further in life. I’m glad I didn’t bore you like Armin did.”

“I think I just had to find the right teacher and you were the one. I was lucky I bumped into you at the store and knocked over all your tea.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Hanji wanted me to go see more movies so I could come and see you.”

Eren chuckled and hugged me close before looking up at me. “Can I draw you naked?”

“Huh?!” I was surprised by his sudden urge. Who asks that?! “Where did that come from?!”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I used to draw a lot when we first got together, but now I don’t feel like I ever have time to because of all my studying, so I was wondering if you would let me on this vacation. I always loved drawing you once I got down all your features. I guess you can call me obsessive but I have like three sketchbooks just filled with different parts of your body.”

That was so weird… but charming. He had spent that much time just thinking about me and I never even realized it. Not that I can blame him, I thought about him just as much. He was always on mind. I was always trying to please him and make sure he was happy. I loved being with him. It was like we worked together to keep each other happy and the relationship healthy. We told each other everything and we never gave up on the other. We trusted each other. Even if Eren was keeping a secret from me, I still found I could trust him. If it was Erwin doing that, I wouldn’t have been able to. I would have followed him and made sure he wasn’t cheating or anything like that. I guess that’s what I loved most about Eren. He was nothing like Erwin. He was blunt and honest. He wasn’t going to hurt me. He wanted this relationship just as much as I did. I couldn’t wait to start my life with him. For the second time in my life, I felt like this was meant to be. Maybe… it was a good thing Petra died. I became a better person because of it. I smiled and leaned my forehead against his. “I’d spend hours just thinking about you. You were always on my mind and I really hated you for that.”

He chuckled and kissed me before nuzzling my chest. “I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too, Eren.” I never got tired of hearing that or saying it. With him it felt like he actually meant it. It wasn’t just a routine. Each and every single time he said that he meant it and that was probably the most important thing about him.

We stayed there for a while. I hadn’t meant to stay out there that long, but we ended up just cuddling up to each other and whispering different things that we used to do that was influenced by other. Like Eren always made sure to wash himself three or four times over just because he thought it would impress me, it always did but I had just thought he was a clean person. Or how I had cleaned up my whole house for Eren to come over only to be disappointed when he didn’t come because he got in that car accident. He felt bad about that but I told him not to worry about it. When we got home, the sun was coming up and the fourth day of our vacation was here.

“Get in the shower.” I laughed when he tried to go straight to bed. He gave me a pouty face, but I just pushed him towards the shower where we washed all the sand off us. Of course, the shower made us awake so we went downstairs and had some breakfast. It was Pancake Day and I swore Eren ate a hundred pancakes.

“Are you hungry?”

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah! They’re just so good!”

“You’ve ate half the buffet!”

“So? They can make more.”

I chuckled and shook my head. I wasn’t one for vacations. I honestly thought they were a waste of time and energy. Hotels were dirty and who knows what people stayed in your room before you. For whatever reason though, I was enjoying this vacation. The fourth day was about to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter! Sorry it's so late but I had volunteer work to do, so this was as early as I could do it. Thanks for the support and next week it will hopefully be up sooner!


	43. Levi's First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Damn, brat... making me write this..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 43

It was about twelve in the afternoon and Eren was running in front of me, ice cream in hand and ass shaking in his cute little green shorts. The fucker knew how to pick clothes that made him look irresistible. “Don’t get too far ahead of me.”

“I won’t, master!” He grinned and turned so he was walking backwards and gave me sticky looking kisses through the wind. His face was a mess with brown ice cream.

“Oi, watch-”

“OW!” A familiar whiny voice whimpered as he fell back on his bum when Eren had bumped into him.

Eren looked over at him and his eyes widened. “…Armin…”

Armin looked up and rubbed at his eyes. “Hey…”

“What… Where’s Erwin?”

“…He’s still in bed. I’m going out and getting him a present…”

“…Why?”

“Because I love him.”

“Gross.”

I caught up to him and pulled him close. “We’ll be on our-”

“Levi, what would Erwin like?”

I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked back at him and gritted my teeth. “Nothing.”

“… But… You know him best.”

“…He likes romantic stuff. Propose to him. He’ll love it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I grabbed Eren’s hand and walked away. If Armin did what I said he really didn’t know Erwin. Erwin loved control. He loved being the one to spoil. It would ruin everything if Armin did what I said. Maybe that was a little harsh for me, but fuck it. They interfere with my life way too goddamn much. 

“…Will Erwin like that? He doesn’t seem-”

“Not at all.”

“Then why would you say that to him?”

I looked over at Eren and tilted my head. “Maybe because the mushroom should know his partner a lot better than what he does. I know you from the inside and out. That’s how you form a relationship. That’s how you know you’re official. No collar will ever compare to the act of marriage. Marriage is just that special. He should know that.”

“…Will we ever get married?” He looked up at me with big eyes. They looked like they were pleading for me to say yes. Eren wanted a future with me and that made my heart race.

I smiled and ruffled his hair. “Maybe one day.”

His eyes shone and he jumped to wrap his arms around me. “Really!?”

“You’re going to get ice cream all over me, brat.” I chuckled and kissed his head, closing my eyes. This was what I always wanted. I didn’t know it was until this very moment. All I needed was this one person next to me, to be there for me at the end of the day. He filled in my flaws. We were perfect. “…Eren… Do you really want to shop today?”

“…Not if you don’t want to.” He looked over at me and kissed me, getting ice cream on my face.

“Disgusting…” I grabbed his sleeve and wiped my mouth before looking over at him. “…I’ll let you do that thing you wanted to do last night.”

He looked at me oddly before his eyes widened. “What?! Really?! But you said-”

“I know what I said, but I realized something and now I know I can handle it. I trust you, Eren.” 

“O-Okay… Ummm… what if I hurt you?”

“Please, when have you ever hurt Humanity’s Strongest?”

He snickered and shook his head. “Never.”

“Exactly. We’ve known each other all this time and you haven’t hurt me. So, don’t be scared about that. I can handle it. I’ve been with Erwin. If I can ha-”

“No offense, Levi, but Erwin on top of you is a huge turn off.”

I chuckled and slapped the back of his head. “Let’s head back and wash off our faces and then we can do whatever.”

“Okay…” We walked back, but it was slow considering Eren pressed me up against a wall whenever he got the chance and I let him. After the tenth make out session, I made him keep walking. I was not about to have my first time with Eren be outside for anyone to see. “Eren, you can say the safe word too… if you ever get uncomfortable topping.”

He looked back at me and nodded. “I know… I’ll be a good puppy.”

I smiled and pushed him into the elevator. He pressed me against the wall and claimed my mouth pinning my wrists against the wall. He moaned when his tongue slid in my mouth. I was melting against him. I wanted to hand myself over to him. This was a completely different reaction than how I was with Erwin. This was breathtaking. This was love.   
Eren pressed against me, one of his legs going in between mine and I couldn’t help it. I started rutting against it moaning out loudly. I leaned away and groaned throwing my head back. “Shit. Eren….”

Eren smirked and kissed down my throat. “What? Can’t take the heat, Levi?”

The doors opened and I pushed him into the hallway where I put the card in our door. I pushed him into the hotel and began stripping off my clothes. “On the bed.”

Eren walked to the bed and laid down. “I thought I was supposed to be in charge?”

I walked over and pinned him down. “Make me bend to your will.”

He groaned and flipped me over. He kissed me again, our tongues wrestling and our bodies grinding against each other. His fingers came down and started to play with my nipples. I groaned and gripped the back of his shirt. “Fuck~ Not that~”

“Heh, is this a sweet spot for you, captain?”

I bit my lip and groaned. I wrapped my legs around his torso and rutted up against him. Why was I acting like such a horny teenager? I shouldn’t be like this, oh, but I was. I wanted Eren to fuck me into the bed and never stop. I don’t even care if the headboard put a dent in the wall, Eren better continue to fuck me. Make love to me. I sighed and pushed him away. “Go slow and gentle. Make love to me, Eren.”

Eren smiled and kissed my head. “Yes, master.” He started lightly pressing kisses and bites into my neck before slowly making his way down to my collar bones. He left deep bite marks on each of them before going over to one of my nipples. His tongue was so hot and rough against them I was squirming just from that. I wasn’t used to this. I wasn’t used to this pace or how intimate it was. I didn’t care though. This was so much better than any other time I’ve ever had.

“Don’t stop…”

“Yes, master.” He smirked and sucked on my nipple a little before kissing down my stomach to the tip of my cock.

“Nnnn, Eren… don’t…I’ll lose it…”

“Desperate already?”

Little shit. I opened my eyes and rolled my eyes. “No.”

“I think you are.”

“Eren.”

“Beg for me.” He smirked and crossed his arms.

I kicked him, which caused him to fall back, on the mattress. “Do you want to do this or not? If you do, I suggest watching that damn mouth of yours.” I wasn’t going to beg to him. I still had some pride left after all.

Eren chuckled and shook his head before pinning me back down again. “I’m sorry. I went too far.” He kissed me before sitting up. He grabbed the lube from the table beside us and squirted some on fingers. He rubbed them together to warm the liquid while I removed his pants and boxers then his shoes and socks. I unbuttoned his shirt before laying back down and staring into reassuring green eyes. “You’ll be okay.”

I nodded and sucked in a breath watching him decend his hand cautiously. “Don’t be afraid. You’re not going to hurt me as long as you don’t just ram them in me.”

He chuckled and kissed my knee before slipping a finger in.

My eyes widened before squeezing tight shut. I bit my lip and grabbed for the sheets, needing some leverage. Fuck, this hurts more than I remember.

“Does it hurt…?”

“…Tch… I’m fine…”

“… Really, Levi…”

I groaned and nodded towards the lube. “Pour more…”

He poured more on his finger and my entrance before looking up at me.

I nodded and he slowly started sliding his finger in and out of me. After a while the pain became pleasure and I was begging for another. I wanted to feel full. I wanted to feel like Eren was a part of me. I wanted everything Eren had to offer. “Eren… please…”

He stuck in another and then another making sure each time I was ready. He was completely inexperienced and unconfident but that’s what I loved about him. Erwin would- no. Eren doesn’t deserve to be compared to that bastard. I bit my lip and whimpered. I needed him in me. I needed to know what he felt like. “Eren… fuck… fuck… I-” My voice cracked three octaves higher when he hit my prostate. “FUCK. YES.”

He smirked and kissed down my thigh beginning to move his fingers like that again and again.

I groaned and moved my hips against his fingers, my hands going up and gripping his shoulders. “Fuckmefuckmefuckme… fuck me, Eren.”

He moaned softly and pulled his fingers out too harshly in his desperation, causing me to yelp out. He kissed me softly in an apology while lubing up his length before slowly, so excruciatingly slow, going in me.

He was big. Not as big as myself but still impressive. I was cried out once he was fully in me and started to rock my hips. “Ah… Eren… fuck… you’re big…”

He smirked and leaned down, wrapping arms under my armpits and spread my legs more, making it look like I was doing the splits. “You’re so flexible.” He nibbled on my jawline as he slowly thrust in me in a slow rhythm. “You’re really tight too… I feel like I’m being crushed.”

I bit my lip harder causing it to bleed. Dirty talk was definitely one of my weak points. Eren was hitting every single one of them in one go and I couldn’t handle it. I slid my hand down and started to stroke myself at the same pace he was going. He was getting quicker and more confident each time.

“Open your eyes, Levi…”

It took all my strength, but somehow I opened them and started into Eren’s wonderful eyes. “Oh, holy fuck…” My nails dug into his shoulders through the shirt, pressing myself closer to him. I couldn’t hold them open for long because he started to thrust right in my prostate. My moans got louder and louder with each thrust. I needed more. “Faster… harder…”

“Nn… I’m going to hurt you if I-”

“You won’t… you won’t… just… ah!” I threw my head back when he did as he was told. I loved it. I loved him. He was perfect. “Eren~ Eren~” I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt so light. I felt like we were a plane. “Ngah… Eren...”

“Levi… I can’t… I can’t… It’s too good. I’m going to cum…”

“Hold on… just… hold on… ohh… my god…” I wrapped my hand around myself and began stroking faster, breathing harsher.

“Levi!” He was beginning to lose it. His thrusts were becoming frantic. He was desperately trying to hold on, but I knew he wouldn’t for long. Eren always came before I did.

I closed my eyes tightly when my thumb rubbed against my head. “Cum, Eren. Fuck… cum inside me like a good boy.”

He gasped and I was filled with his hot seed while my own fell over our chests. I panted and relaxed against the bed. “Don’t pull out quickly. That hurts…”

He nodded and slowly pulled out before falling next to me. He held me close and nuzzled my hair. “How did I do for the first time?”

I laid my head down on his chest and wrapped an arm around him. “Hmmm… not bad.”

“Not bad? Is that an insult?”

“No… I’m tired…” I yawned and nuzzled more into his heat.

Eren chuckled and put a blanket on top of us. “We can take a short nap, but after that I want to go shopping and not sleep this whole vacation away.”

I nodded and watched as he set an alarm before relaxing back against the pillows. His hand fell in my hair stroking it, lulling me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is up a day early because my lover is coming over tomorrow and I won't have time to update it. So, I hope you enjoyed. Sorry for any mistakes. :) Thanks for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks! I do read them all!  
> -Aiden


	44. Erwin is the Biggest Bastard Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _*huge sigh* This is the chapter all you little shits have been waiting for. The Fall of Erwin Smith._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 44

“Master, sing to me.”

“Eren, I really don’t understand-”

“We have a piano in our room! Let me hear you sing!”

I sighed and got up walking over the black, shining instrument. I lifted up the cover and sat down after putting on a black robe. We had just come out of the shower and was going to head out to shop soon. “What do you want me to sing?”

“Something new.”

I sighed before slowly placing my fingers on the keys lightly. I cleared my voice, “It’s just something I’ve wrote awhile back… it’s not complete.”

“That’s fine. I just want to hear your voice.” He walked over and kneeled on the ground beside me, arms on the bench. “Go ahead.”

My fingers landed on the keys and I took in a breath. It started out slow so not many keys were pressed down. “This world forced me to stand out upon the edge. The walls are closing in. The line I walked so thin like a needle. I tried so hard to find a way to keep balance. And then our fingers brushed, and with that single touch, I knew you were here.” I started pressing more keys. I closed my eyes and thought of that first day I saw Eren, not knowing how to read, drawing his heart out. I should get him more art supplies. I smiled and looked down at him as I sang. It was so like him to come in and sweep me off my feet like a little brat. He captured me before I even had a chance to run away. I should have ran away, but at that time, I didn’t know anything. 

I smiled at him and he smiled back. He leaned up and kissed my arm before I started singing again. “Both of us try to fly with these old, broken wings that we share. The only… things we have… There’s only so much time… until we die. “So, what is it you want to do before your time is up?” Though I ask… you just laugh, beautifully. Smiling at me, oh so perfectly… oh…”

His smile went away for a second before came back and he giggled. The little shit. He was making my heart race so quickly.

“Burning under the sun melting away. We'll weave through the spaces between the buildings that stand tall, and then we’ll fall, and I will pull the trigger at last ... At the very end ... It begins again…and snow will fall and cover everything.” I stopped pressing the keys and looked down at him, clearing my throat again. I needed water.

“It was beautiful… and sweet… and sad… and… wow.” Eren breathed out staring up at me with these eyes that shown with so much love and appreciation.

I chuckled and got up, going to the kitchen and grabbing a glass. I filled it with water and downed it before putting it in the sink and looking back at him. “Thanks. I tried my best to write a happier song.”

“You should be a professional.”

“Heh, I’m not that good kid…”

“But…”

“Really.” I got up and walked over to our suit cases. I stripped off my robe and started to put on brown shorts and a white and green shirt. I slipped on my black sandals before looking over at Eren. “Get ready, puppy. I want to take you shopping.”

I could just imagine a tail beating against the floor happily, his eyes shone with excitement and he crawled over to me quickly and held the waistband of my shorts. “Puppy doesn’t want to waste all of master’s money though!”

“It’s fine. I saved enough and puppy deserves to be spoiled.”

He smiled more and nuzzled my stomach before crawling over to his suit case and getting dressed quickly. He was so damn adorable. He took the whole pet play to a whole new level. I appreciated his commitment though. He walked up to me and pulled my head and kissed me softly. “I love you.”

“Heh, you only love me because I get you shit.”

He shook his head and kissed my head. “No, I love you because you always make my heart beat really fast. It’s unfair, master.”

I gulped and stared up into green gems. Holy fuck, I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall more for him. I groaned and leaned up crushing our lips together. He was the one being unfair. He was always the one to make me love him more and more each day. What do I do to make him fall in love with me? Nothing.

He leaned way and ran a hand in my hair. “Let’s go. I want to buy you stuff too. I have cash.”

“… If that’s what you want to do I won’t stop you,” I sighed out shaking my head.

“Thank you, master! Now, come on! Let’s go!” He grabbed my hand and took us on the elevator. We were about to get there when it opened and a certain mushroom walked out, glaring at me with tears in his eyes.

“He broke up with me, you ass!”

Eren’s eyes widened before he ran up to Armin and held him back from me. He rubbed his sides before kissing his forehead. “Shhh, you deserve better anyways.”

“No! You don’t understand him!”

“Armin…”

“No! Everything he was doing was for yours and Levi’s best interest! He was trying to protect you guys from each other!”

He was falling apart and fast. To see one of my old students like this hurt. I didn’t mean for Erwin to break up with him. I just wanted to ruin the mood a little. I wanted Erwin to suffer. Not Armin. I gulped and rubbed the back of my neck. “Well… shit… my bad.”

Armin’s glare hardened and he broke through Eren’s grip. He ran up to me and attempted to punch me, but I was way too quick for him to even get to close. I went behind him and held his arms behind his back. I watched his struggle before giving up and crying, hanging from my arms. I looked over to where Eren was standing and sighed. Did they really always have to ruin everything…?

Eren was gone.

“Fuck.” I walked Armin to our room and put him in our bed before hitting for the elevator. I called him, but he didn’t answer. Shit. Shit. Shit. I seriously did not want to confront Erwin like this. I didn’t want to see him for the rest of our vacation. Damnit, Eren. I found Eren in the lobby screaming at Erwin. I walked up to him and put my hand over his mouth. “Shut. The. Hell. Up. You are going to get us kicked out. Do you understand me?”

He glared over at me and released his hand. “He hurt, Armin!”

“Yes, and Armin hurts Armin. Your friend is stronger than you think, Eren.”

“Still training your dog, I see, Levi.” Erwin smirked over at me.

I glared up at him, “And you’re still an abusive asshole, I see. But no, please, give me your tips. What do you do when someone proposes to you? Oh, you break up with them and smash their hearts in a million pieces, nice going. I’ll totally do that.”

“Levi, that’s not fair.”

“The little shit meant it. And you broke up with him. You’re such an asshole. You didn’t even let him _explain_. It wasn’t even his _idea_. But never mind. Because you’re never getting your fucking hands on him again.” I grabbed Eren’s hand and started to walk away only to turn and glare at Erwin. “Oh, and by the way, I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to do or how you’re protecting us by trying to break us up, but if you keep meddling in our lives I will seriously kill you in your sleep.”

“…Wow, little extreme. I bet you couldn’t. Not after what we went through.”

“Try me, you piece of shit.”

“Eren’s learning how to play piano for you.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he glared over at Erwin. “You promised you wouldn’t tell! Damnit, Erwin.” He started struggling again, but I could only stare down at him. After all this time of sneaking around, that was what he was doing. He was going to sing to me for my birthday. I smiled and held him close.

“At least he’s doing something productive, unlike you. What are you doing lately? Besides fucking little boys and breaking up with them and abusing me.”

“Get over yourself, Levi. I wasn’t abusing you.”

My hands fell from Eren. I saw red. I was pissed off. “What the hell do you mean you weren’t abusing me?! You didn’t follow our rules! I had one damn rule, Erwin! One! And that was to stop when the safe word was said!”

“You never said it!”

“Because you never made me fucking remember it, you asshole!”

“That was your responsibility. I would have stopped if you said it.”

“Either way, you were still abusive! You should have known when I was uncomfortable! You should have fucking known what you were doing to me! You aren’t supposed to fucking humiliate people! I would never do what you did to me to Eren! Never!”

“Levi… I thought you could handle it. It was all in play.”

“I didn’t enjoy it, damnit!”

“… You never expressed that…”

“Does fucking no not please you?!”

“… I didn’t think you actually meant it… We did rape scenes in the past so I didn’t think you were serious…”

Tears threatened to fall, but I didn’t let them. Not in front of this asshole. “…That doesn’t matter… we weren’t playing in one of those scenes… you should have known… Why else would I have collared someone else?”

“Levi…” Eren whispered beside me. I knew he didn’t want to hear any of this. Especially when it involved him. Those feelings were still fresh. They were forgiven, but not forgotten. I could never make up that mistrust between us. I could never make up for that one mistake.

“I’m sorry, Levi…”

“It’s too late for that.”

“Levi…” He sounded hurt. He sounded broken. I couldn’t find the energy to care.

“If I ever find you anywhere near me, Eren or Armin ever again I won’t hesitate to report you. I’m serious, Erwin. None of us deserve your shit.”

“…Levi… I… Where’s Armin?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“ _Levi_ , where is he? I need to find him! I need to make this up to him!”

“No. No, you don’t. The damage is done.” I turned and grabbed Eren’s hand. I was emotionally drained. We walked back up to our room and made sure Armin was okay. Eren lulled him to sleep. We went back down the elevator and walked out. Erwin wasn’t in the lobby anymore. I was thrilled by that fact. We walked out of the hotel and down to the stores.

“That was intense…” Eren muttered.

“Yeah… I’m sorry…” I squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Are we okay?”

“…Why… Why did you stay with him for so long?”

My heart dropped. I looked down, shrugging, “I don’t know. He wasn’t always like that. He can be really sweet and charming. He’s one of those people who would give you the world if it meant you loved him… but he wasn’t like that with me. I think we were just too alike. We were too mistrusting of each other and in the end that’s what hurt us. We couldn’t talk to each other. I don’t know why I kept coming back… I guess I thought I deserved it after Petra.”

He hugged my arm and nuzzled it. “You didn’t…”

“I know, Eren… I know that now.”

“...Will we end up like that…?”

“Heh, don’t ask stupid question.” How could he even ask that? We were going to last forever. I couldn’t wait for the last day of our vacation. It was going to change our lives for the better.

“Heh, okay. Let’s go in that shop!” He dragged me to a clothes store and made me try on different things while I made him try on different things before we bought the things we liked. We went to all different types of stores, making fun of each other and pushing each other every so often. He got us matching bracelets. Mine was black and his was red. It had an infinity sign in the middle with silver beads hanging off two strings where you tightened it. After that we went out to a family restaurant to eat. He was so much fun to be around. I loved it. I was so fucking in love with him. I could feel myself becoming dependent on him. I wouldn’t let his hand go and he wouldn’t let mine go.

It started raining so we had to run back to the hotel. Once we burst through the doors, I started panting and laughing. “You’re cliché as fuck.”

“You are too!”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are, Mr. Let’s Run in the Rain.”

I laughed more, coughing when I didn’t get enough oxygen. “I’m too old for this shit.”

Eren laughed causing me to shrugged and take his hand. “Come on, we should be getting to bed. I’m damn tired and I know you are too.”

“Okay… Where are we placing Armin?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch. You can sleep with him.” We went up to our room but somehow Eren ended up on the couch with me. I found I didn’t care. I was actually happy he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! We're getting closer and closer to the end of the vacation! <3 After that there's only two more things that need to happen before it's the end of the story. D: I didn't expect this story to be this long to be honest. XD Anyways, school is out on Thursday so I'll have a lot more time to write now so there may be even more updates! Thanks for all the support!  
> By the way, the song Levi sings in this chapter is the opening to Zankyou no Terror. Greatest anime ever. So, yeah. I don't own it. XD


	45. The Big Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tch... shut up..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 45

Day six was filled with taking care of a hurt Armin. It was a damper on the mood we had all week, but today was going to make up for it. I had it all planned. I woke up and made Eren a breakfast he’d never forget. It was French toast, bacon and orange juice. I walked over and shook him awake. “Eren~” I sung quietly in his ear. “Time to get up~”

He giggled and looked up at me. “You’re cheery this morning.”

“Because today is a special day for just you and me. It’s our last day here and our flight is at eight pm. We have a lot to do by then.”

“Really? Did you plan this day specifically?”

“I did.” And no one better fuck it up. This was the most important and scary day of my life. I needed this to go smoothly so I didn’t lose my nerve. “Now, I made you breakfast. So, you better eat up.”

“What about Armin?”

“I talked to him last night and told him that today was a day I was doing something important with you. He was ecstatic and happy to get out of our hair.”

“What’s so important? It’s not a holiday or birthday…”

“You’ll find out later today. Now come on. Your breakfast is getting colder.”

“Okay. Okay.” Eren got up and looked around to find that Armin wasn’t even here. He was out shopping curtesy of my credit card. I insisted he took it. He put up a fight for a while but eventually took it to shut me up.

We walked to the kitchen table and sat down, beginning to eat the sweet breakfast.

“Thank you, master.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“What do you have planned after this?”

“We’re going to go for a walk and then I’m taking you to a place.”

“What place?”

“That’s a surprise.”

“Ugh, Levi, you know I’m not patient.”

“Eren, you’ll be okay for an hour.”

“But, master~”

“Eren, I’m not telling you.” I gave him a look that came across as serious. I wanted everything to be a surprise. I wanted to see his happy face when I brought him to the place.

When we got there, Eren blushed looking around. “Levi… I don’t know how to skate…”

“I’ll teach you.” I smiled and got us some skates. I sat down and started taking off my shoes. “It’s really not that hard.”

“What if I fall?”

“Then I’ll be there to pick you up.” I smiled up at him, chuckling when his face grew red.

“Okay…” Eren sat down next to me on the bench and began taking off his own shoes. “I’m a little scared.”

“You can hold my hand.” I put on the skates and stood up. It’s been years since I’ve last went skating, but it was like riding a bike. Once you knew how to, you always did.

Eren finally got his skates on and I helped him up. “What do I do?”

“It’s easier on wood floors, but all you do is push off on one foot like this. It’s like riding a scooter only you’re using both your feet.” I demonstrated making a circle around him.

“O-Okay…” He started skating with small unsure pushes.

“Yeah, just like that. Good job, puppy.”

He looked up from his feet and grinned at me. “Let’s go on the hard floor!”

I smiled and took his hand before leading him to the rink. I slid on it easily, while he wobbled and fell. I sighed and bent over and helped him up. “You’re going to have to concentrate on your balance more.”

“I don’t have the best balance.”

“It’s okay. Don’t give up.” I smiled and helped him up before pulling him close.

“Don’t let go, master.” He whispered and clutched onto my hand. I don’t think I could have let go even if I wanted to.

“Don’t be scared to fall. It didn’t hurt the first time did it?”

“No…”

“Then don’t be scared. You already fell once.” I wanted him to have fun, not worry about the next time he’ll fall. It would go smoothly after that fear was gone anyways.

“O-Okay.” We started skating again and after five more falls, Eren started to laugh and enjoy himself. He was the most clumsy person I’ve ever seen on skates, but that didn’t stop him. He would just laugh and call himself a clumsy.

“You’re going to have so many bruises…”

“That’s okay! They’ll just be reminders of this day!” He laughed and held onto my arm, making it harder to skate around, but I didn’t say anything. He was enjoying himself.

Eventually the little shit got the hang of it and he was brave enough to let go of my hand and do it himself. He fell and scuffed his knee up from sliding. “Ow...”

“You’re not supposed to keep on sliding, you little shit.” I chuckled and held him up once more.

“Thank you, master.”

“No need to thank me. I have picked you up every single time so far.”

“No, for taking me here…”

“Oh, well, it’s no problem. We have to leave soon so they can clean though.”

“Okay. That’s fine with me.” Eren smiled and held my hand and this time, not to fall, but to simply hold my hand. “Can we get something to eat afterwards?”

I checked the time. It would be two when we got out of here. Perfect. “Yeah, we can go to the sandwich shop that you liked the other day.”

“Yea!” Eren smiled and jumped, which caused him to fall again.

“Dumbass, why would you do that?”

He laughed and took my hands again. “Because I was excited.”

I shook my head and picked him up. We skated in a circle for another twenty minutes just happy to talk and hold each other’s hand. “Okay, we have to go.”

He whined but nodded, his stomach growling. He led me to a bench and we got our shoes from the locker. We took off our skates and put on our shoes before returning the skates.

“It feels weird being on the floor… like on shoes.” He chuckled having troubles walking.

“You get over it. It’s okay.” I took his hand and walked him out. We walked down the sidewalk and into the sub shop. We each got our own custom subs and sat down outside.

“What do you have planned after this?”

“We’re going swimming after our stomachs settle.”

“Are you sure…? We haven’t went swimming since…” He trailed off and looked away.

“Yeah. I’m sure.” I wanted him to enjoy himself today and not even my stupid fear is going to get in the way of that.

“Okay.” Eren smiled and began eating, playing footsie with me under the table. “When do you have to go back to work?”

“Like August 25th. When are you going to college?”

“Around that time… are we going to see each other?”

“Yeah, I can even help you with your homework if you want.” 

“You’re the best, master. I can’t wait for you to be my teacher again.”

“Excruciating.”

“E-X-C-R-U-C-I-A-T-I-N-G.”

“Good boy.”

He beamed before finishing his sub. “Okay! Let’s go swim!”

I quickly finished my own before getting up and throwing our food away. I held his hand and walked us back to the hotel. Armin was there reading a book. He looked up for a moment before looking back down at the book.

We quickly got changed into our swim trunks and got towels. We walked to the beach and found a spot. I put our towels down and we walked into the water. We began swimming where I could still touch and began splashing each other. I splashed him but he caught me and pressed us close.

“Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I figured out what today is going to be.”

“What?”

“Our anniversary date.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “No, I have no plans on marrying you any time soon.”

He pouted and looked to the side. “Then why all this?”

“Because I wanted you to be happy after all the shit we’ve been through.”

“Oh… Never mind then.”

“Someday. I promise.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Eren smiled and pushed me away. “Well, you’re going to have to catch me first!”

I chased after him and caught him, dunking him under the water. He was making me not want to be scared of the stupid water. I wasn’t even thinking about it. I was just having a good time splashing around with him. He was making me relax and not worry about what was coming after this. It wasn’t going to be stressful or nerve-racking. It was just the best day of my life.

And it was going to get better.

It was five when we finally got out of the water. We sat down on our towels, panting. I looked over at him before standing him up. “Oi, don’t say a single word. Understand?”

Eren gave me a confused look before nodding. “Yes, master.”

“Good.” I smiled and took his hands. “Eren, we’ve been together for so many months, a year I think. I don’t even know. It seems like such a short time. I feel like I’ve known you for an eternity. You know I suck at words. So, I’m just gonna go for it. I love you, Eren. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to be with for forever after what happened to Petra so you must be pretty damn special. That’s why I’m going to ask this one question that you’ve been wanting to hear all day.” There was tears in his eyes as I got down on one knee and pulled out a ring from under my towel. “Eren Yeager,” I opened the box to reveal a silver band and a medium diamond on top, “Will you marry me?”

His mouth was open, but no words came out. He nodded and cried more. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, pushing me over onto the sand. I moaned and wrapped my arms around him. He leaned away and began kissing me over and over and over again.

I chuckled and looked up at him. “You’re crying all over me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy. You’ve made me so happy. Yes, of course I’ll marry you… I… I love you so much, Levi. You’re such a damn liar. I guessed this and you told me you weren’t planning this… my god… you got me so unprepared.”

“Heh, which was the point.”

“Jerk… I’m crying now.”

I laughed and kissed him. “That’s okay. You can cry until we have to go to the airport. I don’t care.” I leaned up and started kissing away his tears.

“Put the ring on me.”

I shook my head and sat us up before taking his left hand. “A collar means a lot… but a collar will never top this. Always remember that.”

“I will… I will…” Eren smiled and I knew he knew what I meant. No one was ever going to compare to him. Not Erwin. Not Petra. Not any of my past lovers. He was the one who had my ring now. “I love you, Levi.”

“I promise to love you every day of my life.” I slipped it on and kissed it. A sealed promise.

He was beaming. He was giddy and holding me tightly. “Thank you, Levi.”

“No problem, Eren.”

Eren kissed me. “I’ll love you every day of my life too. I swear. I’m never going to leave you.”

I smiled and rubbed his back, “You have no idea what that means to me.”

“I’m glad I can please my master. You’ll still be my master, right?”

“Of course.” I nodded and kissed him again. I couldn’t get enough of him. I just wanted to keep holding him and never let him go. I wanted to never part from him. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and all the support! I'm out of school now so updates should come more regularly! :3


	46. Celebration and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I hate people._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 46

“Armin! Armin! Armin! Armin!” Eren ran into the hotel screaming his head off. He got to the elevator and started smashing the button over and over again. 

I took his hand away and covered his mouth. “Shhhh, you’re going to get us complaints.”

“But! But!” He muffled through my hand.

I smiled and pushed in the elevator before walking in it myself. I stopped though once the doors closed behind me and I saw Erwin. He looked like a mess. His hair and clothes were disheveled, his shirt not even buttoned all the way. “…Erwin…”

He looked up and his eyes widened. His eyes were red.

My heart dropped. I’ve never seen him like this. Not like this.

“Erwin! Look! Levi proposed!” Eren bragged. I pushed him behind me and shook my head, glaring back at him.

“Go upstairs and tell Armin all about it. I’m going to go for a walk.”

“…Levi…”

“Go.” I pushed him gently when the doors opened on our floor.

He pouted and walked away. I jabbed my finger in the down button and turned to Erwin. I fixed his shirt and then went on my tip toes to fix his hair. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Nowhere…”

“Exactly. Why the fuck do you look like shit?” My tone was soft despite how pissed off I was with him. “What happened?” What happened to us?

“I was just… I don’t want to talk about this with you.” He looked away.

“Too fucking bad. You’re going to talk to me.”

“… The break up with Armin has been hard…”

“Then go to my room and fix it. He still loves you. Why the fuck are you dragging this out?”

“Because I made a mistake.”

“Yeah. You’re huge ass mistake was breaking up with the best relationship you have ever had.”

“…Levi… my mistake was trying to break you and Eren up… it ruined that relationship.”

“Why the fuck were you doing that anyways?” I crossed my arms. Why would he risk so much, his own relationship, just to break mine? Why did I matter? Erwin Smith has never made sense to me. I have never been able to understand why he did the things he did. We couldn’t read each other. That was our downfall. Was that also Armin and Erwin’s downfall?

“Because I wanted to protect you and Eren from each other. I never thought you’d be able to handle a serious relationship after Petra… I never thought you would ever propose again. I didn’t want you to be hurt. I thought that if Eren found out that you would never make it a serious relationship he would leave you and I couldn’t stand seeing you in that pain again. I… I wasn’t trying to be selfish… I never wanted to be abusive in our own relationship… I just…” He looked down and bit his lip. I could see the tears falling from his cheeks. He… He was serious. All this time he was just trying to look out for me.

I bit my lip and looked to the side. “You just what…?”

“I just wanted to protect my best friend.”

My heart shattered. I walked up to him and reached out, putting my hand on his cheek. “Hey, you don’t have to protect me. I’m a-”

“Petra asked _me_ to protect you and I’ve failed her…”

“You didn’t. Erwin, hush, you need to think of yourself now. Okay? I really don’t need protecting. Eren has helped me with so much. I’m sorry we got into that fight. Our relationship falling apart wasn’t just your fault. I was just pissed off at you because… you really did hurt me, but it’s not your fault. Okay? You don’t have the whole world on your shoulders like you did back then…”

“Heh, it still feels like I do…”

“Hey, you don’t. You need to calm down.” The doors opened and we walked to his room. I sat him down on the bed and went and got him a washcloth. I came back and started washing his face. “Erwin, this isn’t like you.”

“I really miss him… and to lose him over something so stupid…”

“What happened?”

“He came back and was a nervous wreck then he got down on one knee and proposed. I was shocked and you know I didn’t really know how to respond so I just said maybe we should wait so we know it’s right. Then he got mad and said I was just too obsessed with you, so I got mad and said that you were just a friend but if that was how he felt then we should end it. Then he said maybe we should. Then I left and said it was over.”

I slapped him on the back of his head. “You’re an idiot. Get up and go be with him. Sort that shit out. You cannot let that perfect kid go just because you can’t man up and say you fucked up.”

“…It’s not that simple… he won’t take me back.”

“Because you’re not even fucking trying!”

“Levi… that’s not fair… I am…”

“No. If you were you’d be up in my goddamn room right now arguing with him and trying to get him back. Now go up there and be a man.”

“…Levi… I can’t… not after what I d-”

“I swear to fucking god, Erwin. I won’t consider you as a friend if you do not get up there and plead him to be with you.”

Erwin sighed and got up going to do the door before stopping. He looked back at me. “Thanks, Levi. And congrats. I’m glad you finally found someone that loves you.”

I flinched. Hearing that from him hurt because I knew that hurt him to say… “Yeah… thanks… Are we good?”

Erwin nodded, “I’m sorry for all the things I’ve ever done to you.”

“Water under the bridge. I swear.”

He smiled and nodded before we left and walked up to my room. I opened the door to see Eren still talking excitedly about how our wedding is going to be. 

Armin looked up and paled before looking away. “I don’t want to-”

“Please… for five minutes…”

“No…”

“Three minutes then…”

“No…”

“A minute.”

“… I’m listening.”

Erwin walked over to where he was on the sofa and kneeled down in front of him. He took Armin’s small delicate hands in his own and kissed each one. “Please… come back to me. I get I messed up. The fight should have never went that far. I should never have risked my own relationship over another. You understand me more than anyone, Armin…” He looked up at him and I had to look away. 

Seeing those eyes, those same eyes that used to look at me with so much love and attention and concern, look at someone else like that stung. It was like he was a knife in my heart that I need to stop from bleeding out, but kept getting twisted in it every so often. I looked down and when I felt someone’s hand in mine. I looked up at Eren and leaned against him. He being here was making me feel a little better. I knew he was going to keep me safe. He was the one looking at me like that now. I leaned up and pecked him on the lips softly. “I’m sorry. I must have had a funny look on my face.”

Eren smiled and nodded before looking back at Erwin. I knew he didn’t trust him with Armin. I looked back over when I heard Armin’s voice.

“You hurt me, Erwin…” Armin whispered looking away from him. “Badly. Like really bad…”

“I know. I’m hurting too, but that’s why I need you to forgive me. So, I can heal us both. I’m sorry, okay? I messed up and this is me owning up to it. Armin, I don’t want to see you like this. I don’t want to see my little kitty sad. I don’t want to be the reason you’re crying… so let me fix this mess. It’s all a miss understanding. Do you think I would be with you if I didn’t love you? Armin, you need to trust me.”

Armin looked down, “I did trust you… but you broke up with me. And what if you do that again? Are you even regretful that you did that?”

“I am. I should have never said those words. I should have never let that situation get so intense. I promise it will never happen again…”

“Why didn’t you come after me?”

“Because… I was scared to be rejected… I was scared you wouldn’t accept me.”

“What makes it so different now? Because Levi is going to get married?” Armin hissed out, glaring daggers down at Erwin. 

“No! It’s not like that! Levi just knocked some sense into me… okay? That has nothing to do with this. They don’t have anything to do with us, Armin. Okay? These are my true and honest feelings. I love you. I shouldn’t have broken things off with you. You deserve better.”

“… I can’t believe you, Erwin…”

“Armin, please… you can… I love you… I need you… Please…” He looked down and gritted his teeth. He was pleading now. This was something he would never do to me. This was something for only Armin. I leaned against Eren’s shoulder and nuzzled it gently.

“…Erwin… I can-”

“I miss you.”

“Please… I can-”

“I need you, Armin.”

“Please… stop…”

“I love you…”

Tears slid down Armin’s cheeks and before any of us knew it he was falling in Erwin’s lap, bawling in his chest, punching his shoulders harshly with tiny fists. “You big jerk! You made me wait for three days! You… I thought you never loved me! I thought you hated me! You big ass! You’re so stupid! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” His voice was raw and it ended in a coughing fit.

Erwin held him tightly and ran a hand through his hair. “Shhh… shhhh… I know… I know… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

“…Don’t let go… don’t you ever let go… this is your last chance.”

I relaxed. I didn’t know what Erwin was going to do if Armin hadn’t accepted him. Erwin was a romantic at heart. He probably would have never recovered. His heart was too fragile for another bad break up. Especially since it was Armin.

Erwin leaned him away and kissed him greedily before getting up. “Let’s cheer you up, okay?”

Armin nodded and held him tightly. “O-Okay… with what?”

“Ice cream and a final days of cuddles?”

“Yeah… okay…” 

They left and the room was filled with silence. I looked over at Eren and smiled. “Go get packed. I… uh… I have something to do…”

“It’s late you shouldn’t go outside.”

“I’ll be right back. You can meet me outside, okay?”

“… Can’t I go with…?” Eren looked down at me pleadingly, but I shook my head.

“No. This is something I want to do myself. Get us packed and I promise I’ll be back before you even realize I’m gone.”

“Okay…” Eren gave in with a pout and walked to our bedroom to begin getting us packed.

I grabbed a notebook and pen then walked out of our room to the elevator. I went down it then walked to the beach. The moon and stars were out early today. I smiled and sat down on the beach, not caring if I got sand on me. I would have to change quickly when I got back to get to the flight on time. I looked around before starting to write.

_Petra,_

_How’s it going wherever you are? Or maybe you’re nowhere… I don’t know… I’m not religious. I hope you’re happy though. I never thought I would meet someone as special as you again. I’m sorry to say that I did… and I’m sorry if that upsets you… but I can’t let him get away from me. I love him, Petra. I love him as much as you and you know how hard I fell by saying that. He’s so special. You would have loved him. He’s like a child at times, but he’s also really mature. He made my whole world bright. I hope you approve him. I miss you, but he’s doing a great job at filling the void in my heart. I…I don’t hope to see you now. I know that sounds mean… but that’s probably what you want. Erwin isn’t in mine and Eren’s relationship like he was in ours. He’s doing great too. He’s dating Eren’s best friend. I wish you could have been here to experience all this with me… but I guess if you were still here none of this would have happened. Anyways, I wanted to this to our parting letter. Is that okay? For me to be happy until I see you again? I hope so. I can’t leave him so I guess you’re just gonna have to be happy for me. I won’t forget you. I will always love you. I’ll just love him too. Good bye, my precious fiancé. –Levi_

I ripped it out of the notebook neatly before ripping it to make it a nice square. I stared at it and smiled before starting to rip it up until it was just shreds. The shreds became smaller and smaller before I got up and walked to the water’s edge. I threw them in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support!


	47. Good Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I got carried away..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 47

When I got back, Eren had packed our stuff together nicely. I half expected him to just throw everything in the suit cases but he had actually taken the time to fold everything and put them in their proper place. I ruffled his hair and smiled at him, “good pup.”

His eyes shone brightly and he wiggled his hips excitedly. “Thank you, master! Puppy did his best!” He nuzzled my knees and held onto me tightly.

I chuckled and kneeled down to where he was on the floor in the hotel’s bedroom. “Ready to go home? We should get to the airport soon.”

“Yeah! I can’t wait to go home!”

“Your results from the test should be waiting when we get home.”

He looked down and his smile faded. “What if I didn’t do good?”

“Well. And I’m sure you did great.”

“I still don’t even know the stupid good and well thing.” Eren grumbled crossing his arms.

I unfolded them and took his hands in my own. “Hey, don’t say that shit with me. Just because you don’t know one grammar rule doesn’t mean shit. Half the country doesn’t know that grammar rule. I still don’t understand the stupid who and whom rule. You’re human. Humans aren’t supposed to know everything.”

He sighed and looked up at me. “Did you really think I passed?”

“You were trained by me. Of course you did.” I smirked and kissed his head. “And if you didn’t I’m still proud of you. You have come a long way since the first time we met.”

“Yeah… Now I can read third grade chapter books. I like it when you read to me better though…” He smiled and rubbed my knuckles.

I smiled and nodded holding him close. “Yeah, I’m sure you do, lazy ass.”

“Hey, that’s not nice, Levi.”

“Have I ever been nice?”

He laughed and shook his head. “No.”

“You knew that when you asked me out.”

“Me ask you out? I think you were the one that asked me out.”

“Shit… I guess I was the one trying to get us back together.”

“Yeah, and we don’t talk of that time so our conversation is over. Come on, let’s get going.” He smiled and got up. He helped me up and kissed me. “I love you, Levi.”

I blushed. Fucking brat. Was it his life goal to make my heart stop? I grabbed my bag and looked over to where Armin was still wrapped in Erwin’s arms. They hadn’t moved. Hadn’t even spoken that I knew of. “Oi, get out. We’re returning the keys.” I made eye contact with Erwin and looked down. I knew what he was thinking, ‘You’re going to get hurt.’ Well, I didn’t ask for his opinion.

“Levi.”

Godfuckingdamnit. I don’t want to talk to this guy. “What?”

“Congratulations. I’m glad you could fall in love again.”

My eyes widened. I didn’t think he would say that. Was he being honest though? For some reason, deep down, I knew he was. I nodded and walked out making sure they were following us to the elevator. They got off on the fourth floor and we got off at the lobby. I returned the keys to the room and paid before going outside where Eren had called us a taxi. 

I got in the back of the taxi with him after putting our bags in the trunk and then told the driver the destination. I tensed up when Eren leaned against me and nuzzled up against me tiredly. I didn’t know how the driver would react, but he didn’t comment and the ride was quiet. We walked into the airport and thus our vacation was over.

~~~

When we got home, we threw our bags in the living room and went straight for the mail. I grabbed the letter before Eren did. We sat down on the couch.

“Open it.” Eren said quickly but then just as fast said “Don’t!”

“Which is it?”

“Open it…”

I knew what Eren got. I had already seen his scores online and asked them to be sent to us so I could make him suffer a little. I opened the envelope and pulled out his scores. “Do you want to see or me to tell you?”

“Tell me.”

“You need at minimum of 410 to pass and an average score of 450.”

“Okay…” Eren sucked in a breath and his knee bounced on the carpet.

“Mathematics: 480. Social Studies: 450. Science: 470. Reading through Language Arts: 411. Average score: 452.75.”

Eren let out a breath and his eyes widened. He attacked me and pinned me down on our couch. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, messily.

I closed my eyes and went with it for a moment before leaning away. “You’re kissing me like a dog.” I complained and wiped his saliva away.

“I’m sorry. I just got so excited. Levi…” Tears filled his eyes causing him to brush them away with his arm. “I passed… I’m not officially graduated from high school basically.”

I gently sat him up and took the envelope. I pulled out his certificate and got up. “This is going on the fridge until I can get a picture frame.”

“Isn’t that momish?”

“Do you care?”

“No.”

“Then don’t fucking complain.” I took it to the fridge and put it up with a magnet. I will admit it looked stupid up there but I didn’t have any frames for it yet. I would make sure to get one the next time we went to the store, which would probably be this weekend. I walked back to the living room and plopped down on the couch, sighing.

“You okay?” Eren asked crawling over to me and laying down in my lap.

My hand instantly went down to his hair and I stared messing it up looking down at him. “So, our wedding. When do you want it?”

“Mmm… Spring.”

“Heh, I knew you were going to say that.”

“Well? I like the spring time. It’s when everything is being born and it’s always so pretty.”

“Do you want it at a church or outside?”

“Outside!”

I chuckled and looked down at his eyes, they were always filled with so much energy. I wonder what he liked about me. “Where?”

“Umm… maybe… hmmm… in your back yard?”

“It’s not big enough.”

“Then… hmm…Nnnn… I know a place that’s gorgeous but… ugh… Jean…”

“The guy you work for?”

“Yeah, Marco makes their huge backyard look all pretty… I’d hate to ask him though… ugh… he’s such a dick.” Eren grumbled and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes.

“We could always do it in a park?”

“Doesn’t that seem trashy?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “That’s actually a shit ton of money, I’ll have you know. Besides we can do it at the flower park down the road. It’s about a half an hour drive and the scenery is gorgeous.”

“But I don’t want to look too… gay. You know?”

I looked at him like he was an idiot. “Eren. Maybe you haven’t noticed but you’re marrying someone with a dick. And that dick makes me a guy.”

He laughed and teased me, “I don’t know. That’s just your sex. You could be trans.”

“I’m not. My gender is male. 100% male.”

“Are you sure~?”

“Eren, for 36 years of my life I have felt like a man. I don’t think that’s going to change.”

He laughed and nodded. “Okay. Okay. I’m okay with that.”

“You should be. You knew I was a guy when you accepted me. Anyways, so we can have it at the park. How many people do you think is going to be there?”

“Well… Armin and Mikasa definitely. Ummm…I don’t really have any other friends.”

“You do know if Armin comes so will Erwin.”

“That’s okay.”

I smiled relieved that he still liked him after everything. I wanted us to get along. Erwin has been my best friend for years and even after all he’s done it would really suck to lose him now. He was always I could go to talk and to get help with my problems. He was kind of like my not so safe but still safe safety blanket. “Then I think Hanji would kill us if she found out that we were getting married and didn’t invite her.”

“Heh, yeah. Where is Hanji anyways?”

“Hmm… Probably at the club.”

“Can we go?”

“Aren’t you still under aged?”

“…Yes…”

“Then no.”

“Please, Levi? I want to see her.”

I sighed. Whoever invented puppy dog eyes should go to fucking jail. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve to be pleaded into things I didn’t want to do. “Fine.”

Eren jumped up happily and clapped his hands. “Yay! Go pick us outfits!”

I shook my head and walked upstairs. I looked through my stuff. I found dark ripped jeans for me, boots with a heel, and a white crop top. Then I found black shorts and a white tshirt with a black vest that had holes along the side to tie it up with dark lace loosely. I was actually pretty excited. It’s been awhile since I’ve been to the club. I got dressed then called Eren up.

“Yes?”

“Here.” I handed him his outfit and watched him dress, which caused him to blush and turn away. Isn’t my lover so damn cute? He still embarrassed even after all the shit we’ve done. Once he was done, I walked up to him and clipped on a black leash to his collar.

He gasped and looked down before following the leash to my hand. He blushed and looked away. “N-Now I really am your dog.”

I smirked and pushed him up against the wall. “You get horny way too quickly.”

“I-I know… I just like it when you take control o-or when you tie me up so I’m at your mercy, master.” He looked away and chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

So damn cute. I couldn’t get distracted though. We had somewhere to go. I let him go and pulled him along by his leash. We walked down stairs, me being the same height as him. I purposely gave him flats. We got in my car and drove down to the club. When we got there, I turned to him and pulled him forward with the leash. I ran my hand through his hair and leaned forward to kiss him. I really loved it when we were like this. Happy and in love. That was when we were both at our best. To be honest, we haven’t had any dreams about our past, but rather our future. I took that as a good sign.

Eren whined and continued to kiss me until I leaned away. We went inside and found Hanji tending to the bar. “Guys! Hey! How’s it going? Welcome back!”

“Hey! How’s it going?” Eren asked standing next to me while I sat at one of the stools.

“Great. Glad you’re back. What do you want?”

“Cosmo.” 

“Sa-” Eren was about to say something but I interrupted him.

“Water for him.”

Hanji laughed and nodded starting to make our drinks. We began chit chatting and about five drinks in, Eren somehow got a hold of my drink and drank it. Thus, began our drinking and Eren’s first time getting drunk.

~~~

The next day, Eren was throwing up in the toilet. 

I grimaced every time I threw up but stayed with him, rubbing his back and offering him water. I felt sick myself, but I was trying to control it until he was finished. “Hush… it’s okay… it’s okay.”

He looked up at me in a glare and shook his head. “It’s not okay! I’m never drinking agi-” He was cut off with more puking.

I chuckled and continued to rub his back. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! :D


	48. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Sorry, to make sure there wasn't anymore "filler" chapters I decided to just skip to the wedding so this story isn't even longer. I swear I will finish this before the end._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 48

Today was the day. I was in a tent. Not like a camping tent but a bigger one for where you can change in. I was standing on soft, green grass and a mirror was in front of me. I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin when Hanji came in and hugged me tightly.

“Oh! My little Levi! You’re getting married! How wonderful! How wonderful! Eren looks so great too! How did you convince him to wear a dress?!” She cackled and jumped up and down excitedly, causing me to try to squirm out of her arms.

“Wait.” I stopped and looked back at her. “He’s wearing a dress?!” I had just given him a budget and my debit card and told him to go pick out something. I was thinking he was just going to go with a tux like a normal husband, but maybe my fetishes were rubbed off on him by now. It wasn’t the first time Eren has cross dressed for me. I was curious now on what he looked like. I began fiddling with my tux anxiously. I went traditional with my clothes. A black jacket, white button up, sleek, black pants, and a black tie.

“Are you nervous?” Hanji giggled.

“Of course I am.”

“Where are you going for a honeymoon?”

“France. I took a week off from work.”

“Oh, that’s going to be lovely! He’ll love it! When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

The entrance way was pulled back and Erwin walked in. “How’s this one doing?”

“Better than Eren.” Hanji smiled over at him.

“What’s happening with Eren?!” I asked in a panic looking at both of them. Was he having a nervous breakdown? Was he throwing up?! Was he okay?! I knew I was overreacting, but weddings have never went well for me.

Erwin chuckled and shook his head. “He’s fine, Levi. He’s just nervous. He’s thrown up, but Mikasa and Armin are taking care of him. He’s worried about you not liking him.”

“I should go see-”

“Levi, darling, you know it’s bad luck to see the bride in their dress before she walks down the aisle. He’s fine. Trust us.” Hanji rubbed my arms and kissed my cheek.

I wiped out her kiss and sighed. “Is it almost time to start?”

“Yeah, we should get to our places.”

I felt sick myself, but I knew this was all going to be worth it. This is exactly what I wanted. I just had a feeling something would go wrong. I’m probably over thinking it though.  
I went up the aisle and saw our friends get seated. I stood by the alter and looked around at the scenery. There were white chairs that were in rows of five that went down to the four row on each side of the aisle. There was a white cloth rolled out between the chairs to make the aisle. Around us was trees and all sorts of flowers. I looked up at Eren’s uncle. When he found out about the marriage he volunteered to be the speaker. It was the only time I’ve ever met him, but Hannes seemed like a pretty good guy.

The pianist was to the side in front of the left set of chairs. Marco had asked to play it as soon as the invitations were sent out. He gave me a grin and I smiled back. Hanji was running all over the place making sure everything was going smoothly. She pointed to Marco and the music began. I took a breath when I heard the music start playing. I saw Mikasa walk down the aisle with Erwin. It was an odd look, but they were the only ones that were actually in the wedding besides Hanji. Erwin stood behind me and Mikasa went to Eren’s side. Hanji was next and stood behind Erwin. Mikasa and Hanji’s dresses were teal that went all the way down the floor with a sweetheart neckline. Eren got to pick out their dresses.

I looked over and saw Armin, who was our ring bearer. He stood behind Mikasa when he reached us. That’s when I got super nervous. Eren was next. I looked down and my eyes widened a little. He was so beautiful.

A long veil was covering his face but I could still notice his beautiful eyes and features. His dress was so white it kind of blinded me. It was really puffy at the bottom, like a princess dress. He got one that covered his feet (just because he wanted to wear tennis shoes instead of fancy shoes) and at the top was a sweetheart neckline with lace on top of it that went over his shoulders and down his arms to make it long sleeved. It was probably the only thing that was keeping the dress up and in place. Then I saw his neck. The reason why the bridesmaids were wearing teal. It was to match his collar that was around his neck in a stunning show of our love.

He stopped walking and turned towards me after handing his bouquet of white roses to Mikasa. He smiled up at me and winked. Then the wedding ceremony started.

“To all present I say: We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is. We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Eren and Levi the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives, and the commitment they make today.”

I took Eren’s hands in mine. I couldn’t break his eye contact. It was like we were the only one’s there. He was so beautiful. 

"Levi and Eren, today you choose each other before your family and friends, to continue your life together. For all the tomorrows that follow, you will choose each other over and again, in the privacy of your hearts. Let your love and friendship guide you, as you learn and grow together. Experience the wonders of the world, even as patience and wisdom calm the restless nature. Through your partnership, triumph over the challenges in your path. Through the comfort of loving arms, may you always find a safe place to call home."

Eren smiled and blinked away tears and held onto my hands tighter. 

“Do you Levi Ackerman, accept Eren Yeager as your lifemate and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for him in times of need, to soothe him in times of pain, and to support him in all endeavors, big and small?”

I snapped out of my thoughts to hear what Hannes was saying before nodding and looking at Eren with a smile on my face. “I do.”

“Do you, Eren Yeager, accept Levi Ackerman as your lifemate and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for him in times of need, to soothe him in times of pain, and to support him in all endeavors, big and small?”

My heart was racing. I knew what Eren was going to say but for some reason I was nervous he wasn’t. I was nervous he’d back out.

Eren smiled and stared down into my eyes. “I do.”

Armin came up and handed me Eren’s ring.

I took it and took Eren’s left hand. “Let this ring be a symbol of my love. Let this always remind you of me and my love to you. Let it remind you that I’ll always be by your side and that I will always be a faithful partner to you. I promise.” I slid the ring on his ring finger.

The tears in Eren’s eyes slid down his cheeks and he nodded. He was given my ring and held my left hand. “Heh, with this ring I will always be with you. I will always love you and cherish you. I will be with you forever, even after death. I promise you this, Levi.” He slid the ring on my finger.

I’ve never felt more alive. I’ve never felt happier in all my life. I smiled and looked down at our hands. They were so perfect. Everything was so perfect.

“You may now kiss.”

I let go of his hands and took his vail by then end and lifted it over his head, having to go on my tip toes to do it. I went back down on my feet and wrapped my arm around his neck gently before leaning up and kissing him. I could feel the heat on Eren’s cheeks get warmer when people cheered. I leaned away and let him go.

“And now, it is time to light your candles.”

We walked over to a table where three long candles were sitting in candle holders. I picked up the lighter and lit mine before handing it to Eren so he could lite his. Together, we raised our candles to the middle one and lit it. We took our candles away and blew on them to take out the fire.

Hannes walked back up to the alter, “Friends and family, to conclude this ceremony, will the designated witnesses please come forward and sign their names to the certificate of marriage.”

We followed him with Erwin and Mikasa following. We were presented a certificate. I grabbed the pen and started to fill out what I needed to before giving it to Eren and letting him fill out the other half before having Erwin and Mikasa sign it to verify that we were the ones who signed. We gave it back to Hannes and went back to our places.

“And now I present you Levi and Eren Yeager.”

I took Eren’s hand and walked down the aisle with him while everyone cheered. It was a great feeling to be married to him. We walked back to our tents and chained into more comfortable clothes before finding each other and walking back to help put chairs to the side and bring out tables and food and the cake, who was made by Jean.  
Marco began playing different music on a lap top that had speakers hooked up to it. 

I took Eren’s hand and took him to the middle so we could start slow dancing. “So, we’re married.”

“Heh, yeah… I’m sorry I cried… it was happy tears. I promise.” He chuckled and blushed a little.

“I know. You looked beautiful.”

“Well, I had a lot of help for Mikasa and the dress shop. They’re the ones who customized it to make sure it fit me properly.”

“Did you get a lot of weird looks?”

“Yeah… But I didn’t care. I knew you’d be happy seeing me in it.”

“Eren, I could care less what you’re wearing as long as you are the one I was being married to.”

“I still wanted to do something special for you. I love you, Levi.”

I smiled and leaned down, kissing him gently. He was really just too perfect. “I love you too, Eren.” I pulled him closer and nuzzled his shoulder. “So much.”

He smiled and nuzzled my hair. “Levi… I’ve never seen you this sweet before.”

“Shut up. I’m in a romantic mood. So sorry.”

“No, I like it. I like seeing you so… like this.”

“Heh, idiot.” The song ended and I leaned away from him. I took his hand and we went around and talked to various people before getting some food. We sat down and ate before Eren looked up at me. “Since… we didn’t celebrate your birthday… sorry about that…”

“It’s fine. You had to work.” I smiled.

“I’m… uh…” He got up and turned off the music and sat down at the piano.

Oh, right… he was going to sing to me for my birthday. My heart skipped a beat. I got up and followed him over. I leaned against the piano and looked at him

He smiled up at me before taking a breath and his fingers slowly went down on the piano.

“It was like a nightmare. Now it is painful to me, because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief, now it’s strange for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice. Remember the day we met, and it’s painful for me. Because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief and it’s painful for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.” His voice sang softly, attracting people closer to us.

I closed my eyes and took in the melody. It was our song we probably sang to each other a thousand times. As sad as it was, I couldn’t help but be happy at this moment. It tied everything together. Everything worth remembering.

“Can’t look back. They will not come back. Can’t be afraid. It’s time after time. So once again, I’m hiding in my room. The peaceful times have made us blind. So, you can’t fly. If you never try. You told me, oh, long ago. But you left the wall, outside the gate. So more than ever, it’s real. It was like a nightmare, now it’s painful for me. Because nobody once to die too fast. Remember the day of grief and it’s strange for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice. Remember the day we met, and it’s painful to me because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief, now it’s painful for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.”

I began whispering the words before long I started singing with him. “Song for the reluctant heroes. Oh, give me your strength. Our life is so short. Song for the reluctant heroes. I wanna be brave like you. So, you can’t fly. If you never try. You told me, oh, long ago. But you left the wall, outside the gate. So, more than ever it’s real.”

I felt like I was getting closer to Eren. I felt like this song was our everything. It was our beginning. It was our end. It was us. It was tragic, yes, but still good. It was good enough for me. I felt like no other song could compare to our song. The song that we died singing to. I looked over at him and I felt so happy that he was here with me. I felt relieved that I wasn’t the only one singing this song now. For years the melody had went through my mind and now I found the one person to sing it with me. “It was like a nightmare, now it’s painful to me because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief, now it’s strange for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice. Remember the day we met, and it’s painful for me because nobody wants to die too fast. Remember the day of grief, and it’s painful for me. I could see your face. I could hear your voice.”

Eren continued to play the same melody with different keys before gently pushing down five keys until they went quiet. He looked up at me and smiled. “You sang with me.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, it’s been awhile since I’ve heard you sing. Did I do a good job?”

I walked over to him and kissed him softly. “You did a wonderful job.”

“I think you do a better job.” He chuckled and got up putting on the music again.

I don’t think he realized how happy he has made me. I don’t think he ever would. In that moment, I was the happiest person in the world. Eren was just too damn special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support!


	49. The Kink Hasn't Started?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _....I got carried away...._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 49

I love how special you make me feel. I think you spoil me too much, but that’s okay.

~~~

We landed in France and Eren was ecstatic. He was running all over the place. “Calm down, I need help carrying our shit.”

“Why did you bring two bags anyways? You only packed one for our trip to the beach.” Eren came back and took his bag and my other one. “Damn, this is heavy. What did you pack?”

“I want to take us to the next level. You seem pretty comfortable doing it with me, right?” It was a risk and if Eren really didn’t want to do it I would take it off him, but if he 

“Of course!” Eren smiled happily. “What do you have in mind?”

“… Well… if you’re not tired… maybe we could get our honeymoon started with that?” I asked smirking over at him. Honestly, I was a little bit excited for this. Maybe too excited. I led the way to the hotel as I stared at him. It was so nostalgic being here. I remember going down the streets scaring the hell out of everyone with Farlan and Isabel. It was almost painful to be here, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

“Oh, sure.” Eren smiled and leaned against him. “Is it kinky?”

“Yeah.”

“…Will it get me to say our safe word?”

I hummed and shook my head. “I don’t believe so. I think you can handle it.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Nope.”

“So mean.” He chuckled and leaned against me. “This is where you grew up?”

“Yeah. I’ll show you the Corps base tomorrow.”

“Is that the gang you were in?”

“Yeah. You’re going to have to listen to me like a good puppy though. I don’t know what’s there anymore so we might run into trouble.”

“Hey, Levi… have you ever noticed that elements from our past life has stuck with us? Like for instance the Corps is similar to the Survey Corps. And… how like everyone is dying in the same order.”

“…Eren, hush.” I held him closer and shook my head. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to go through another traumatic Eren death.

“Sorry…” He mumbled looking down.

“It’s fine. Just don’t talk about things like that. You’re making it sound like fate wants to be a little bitch and torture us.” I couldn’t even imagine losing Eren now. Not now. Not ever. He was way too precious to me. My hold tightened around him.

“… Levi?”

I looked down at him and tilted my head. “Yeah?”

“… Never mind…”

“What?” I continued to stared down at him and he finally sighed and looked down in defeat.

“You don’t have to be worried about the future… I… I’m younger than you. Nothing is going to happen to me… I’m not going to leave you. You’re probably the one that is gonna end up leaving me probably.”

My arm left him so I could hold his hand. I kissed his knuckles softly and shook his head. “Don’t think of that, Eren. I’m not going to leave you. Wanna know how I know?”

“How?”

“Because we’ll go out together. I don’t care if I have to be the oldest man on earth and you have to change me and feed me gross oatmeal. We’ll go out together. Just like we did back then.”

Eren smiled and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “Wanna know my favorite color?”

“Isn’t it gray?”

“It was, but now I like black. But like shiny black.”

“Heh, why does your favorite color keep changing?”

“Because I notice a different color on you each time. Like your hair, it’s so shiny and pretty.”

I looked at him and rolled my eyes, I was flattered but still… that’s… “You’re crazy.”

“I am not! I can’t help that you’re the reason for my everything!” He laughed and leaned down to kiss my head.

“Ugh, you need to quit growing. Here soon I won’t be able to kiss you during sex.”

Eren laughed and I couldn’t get enough of that laugh. I could never get enough of him smiling and laughing and just being his joyful self. He made me feel younger and happier. I couldn’t believe how much he made my day. “Levi! I can’t help that my legs are long. Beside you’re flexible. Stretch more and you may be able to kiss me during that.”

“Damn, why the hell do you want to make me do all that work?”

“Because you’re the one who wants to do it.”

I chuckled and shook my head. We got to the hotel and I checked us in. Eren ran to the elevator and called it for us. I followed him and smiled. “Eren, do you trust me?”

“Of course… You know the more you talk about this the more nervous I get.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at me with unsure eyes.

“There’s a lot of trust for what I have planned.” I walked into the elevator and punched the fourth floor.

“… I see… I trust you, Levi… just like… don’t hurt me.” Eren laughed nervously again and held my hand.

I smiled at him to reassure him. I walked to our room and walked in. We put our cases down and I pushed him on the bed. I crawled on top of him and kissed him deeply. I wanted him to relax. I didn’t like how he was so nervous. Normally that was my job.

He moaned and wrapped his arms around me. His hands ran in my hair where he played with the strands. We took our time getting each other’s clothes off. We trailed our lips and hands over each other’s bodies slowly, memorizing skin we already knew. He was blushing and panting. “Levi… I want you.”

“Hmm…” I was trailing my lips down his inner thighs. I smirked up at him and shook my head. “I’ll let you wait on that. Be a good puppy for me?”

He whined but leaned back and nodded. “What does Corporal want me to do?”

I smirked and walked over to the extra bag I brought. I pulled out two red ropes and a matching blindfold. I walked back over to him and took his wrist and tied it against the headboard.

“Ah, Corporal… you haven’t tied me up in forever… it feels so good.” 

“Why?”

“Because I’m giving you all the control.”

I smirked and tied his other wrist. He was such a good boy. I tied the blindfold around him and made sure he couldn’t see before going back to the bed. I took out some clear candles, a cock ring, a feather and a comb out. I lifted him and slid a towel under him before I lit the candles and set them on the table where they couldn’t light anything on fire. I smirked and turned back to Eren, feather in hand. I ran the feather down Eren’s torso lightly running it over his nipples and stomach.

He withered and moaned. “C-Corporal…”

“Yes, Eren?”

“What is that…?”

“A feather.”

He blushed and withered. I replaced the feather with the comb and pressed it against his skin harshly, causing angry, red lines to form. He gasped and arched his back. “Corporal! Ah! Th-That’s not a feather!”

“No, this isn’t.” I drew angry lines along his skin before getting up and getting some ice from the fridge. I smirked and held one against his nipples.

“AH! CORPORAL! Fuck!” He bit his lip and I couldn’t help but smirk at the way he was trying to get away from it. He shivered and clawed at the headboard. “I’m so hard… touch me?”

I slid the cock ring on him before stroking him gently, my hands still cold and wet from the ice cube melting against them. “Like that, Eren?”

He whimpered and nodded. “…Thank you, master…”

I looked over at the candles and smirked when I saw the wax starting to build. I took one and looked back at Eren. “Okay, this may sting a bit. If you don’t like it tell me, okay? This is the kinky part.” I could tell Eren was alarmed just by his statement.

“We’re not _at_ the kinky part yet?! What are you…?”

I knew he’d freak out if he actually knew what was going to be dripped on him. I didn’t want him to tense up. That would defeat the purpose. “Calm down. Relax. You trust me right?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Then you know I’ll stop. You’ll know I’d never hurt you on purpose.”

“…O-Okay.”

“Take a few calming breaths. We’re going slowly, okay?” My hand went down and stroked him to get his mind off the impending doom.

Eventually, he relaxed enough to where I thought he was okay. I held the candle above him and carefully poured it on his skin, which instantly turned red by the heat.

“Mmmm…” He relaxed more and bit his lip harder. “It… It feels like your dripping hot glue on me… it feels nice.”

I smiled and chuckled beginning to pour it on different parts of his torso. I was careful not to go too low to where it would get on his dick or too high where it would get on his face or nipples. I didn’t think he could handle that just yet.

“Are you making me look pretty?”

“Yeah. It’s clear but it’s making you glisten.”

“Mmmmm… don’t stop.”

I began alternating between candles when they would run out of melted wax. I accidentally got a little on cheek, but that didn’t faze him in the slightest. 

“Ahhh… Levi… it feels so good…”

“…Are you sure you’re not in too much pain?” We were on the first candle again for the third time. The wax was beginning to get everywhere on him and the towel below him.

“I-I… It’s beginning to hurt a little…” He admitted, blushing brightly.

I took the candle away and blew out the flame. I did the same to the other candle before setting them to the side. I licked my lips and poured lube on myself before lining up to Eren. I knew he was pretty stretched since we had done it when we had gotten home yesterday. “You okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah… I just can’t move that well…”

“That’s okay. I’ll do all the work. Just lay there and look pretty.”

He laughed and shook his head before moaning loudly when I thrust in him. “Oh, Levi…”

I bit my lip and moaned. He was so goddman gorgeous. I loved seeing him wither against me. During all our foreplay I had got a pretty painful hard on. He was so tight from the no preparation. I couldn’t hold back, I started thrusting in him at a quick pace.

Eren was practically screaming in bliss. He moved his hips against mine and kept grabbing the headboard. “Levi… Levi… Levi… Fuck. You’re way too perfect.”

I smirked and bit his collarbone. “Do you like my cock deep in you?”

“Yes. Hell yes… don’t ever leave me.”

He really was too perfect. I started thrusting just at the right angel where I knew he would go ballistic. He started screaming louder and started begging.

“Please, Corporal, let me cum. I need to cum. Please, please, I’ve been your good boy.” Sometimes I wondered whatever happened to the shy and innocent Eren that I had first met. Other times I was glad he was gone. This time, I was glad.

“Hmmm… I don’t know.”

Tears slid down his cheeks as he threw back his bed. “Please… please…”

I gulped. I didn’t know if those were happy tears or not. “You okay?”

“Yes… yes… please, let me cum… I feel so good, Levi…”

I relaxed and took off the cock ring. As soon as he did he came all over his stomach and torso. His walls collapsed down on mine and I couldn’t stop from cumming in him. I moaned out his name and let go of his hips. I didn’t know when I had grabbed a hold of them, but sometime during that I did and there were irritated red, crescent shaped lines imbedded in his skin from my nails. I panted and slipped out of him. I was exhausted. The flight over here and one intense orgasm was enough to make me tired. I couldn’t go to sleep though. I had to get the wax off Eren. I took off his blindfold and ropes, causing his arms to fall uselessly on the bed. I could already tell he was going to be sore in the morning. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah… I’m just… completely fucked out…”

“You can sleep. I’m going to get the wax off you and put lotion on your skin so it doesn’t dry out.” I smiled innocently. And maybe… I just wanted to worship his body. He was mine after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! <3


	50. Touring the City!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _This is better than I expected..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 50

I got out my debit card and began to slide it over Eren’s body and chip away the candle wax. I could tell by Eren’s breathing that he was sleeping. I stared down at his body and smiled. He was so gorgeous. His skin was irritated though from all of our play. I’ll have to make sure to wash him off. It took about twenty minutes to get all the wax off him and by then his skin was really red. “Hey, Eren, wake up.” I shook him gently while trying not to hurt him.

He opened his eyes and tilted his head, “Hmm?”

“Let’s get a shower then you can relax in the bath.”

He yawned cutely before rubbing his eyes. He nodded and held up his arms for me to help him.

I chuckled, putting my bag over my shoulder, and got up before picking him up gently. I took him to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I took off his collar before setting him inside. I got out my soap and shampoo before I getting in with him and began washing him with soap. “Everything feel okay?”

“My ass hurts…” He mumbled and closed his eyes, laying down tiredly.

“Heh, besides that?” He wasn’t bleeding so I wasn’t too concerned. By tomorrow he should be feeling completely better. I continued to lather him up with soap before rinsing him off with the shower. “Can I shave you?”

“Everything else is okay. My shoulders and wrists hurt and so do my hips but I think that’s just from being tied up and slammed into.” He chuckled before sitting up a little and tilted his head. “Why? We’re guys, Levi. Guys don’t shave.”

“Sorry… I just thought you might like feeling pampered.”

Eren hummed and laid back down before nodding. “As long as I won’t get made fun of.”

“I’ll be the shit out of anyone who does.” I reassured him before getting out a razor. I sat him up and began to carefully go over his legs with it. His legs were so soft. It was a shame that they were so hairy. I made sure not to cut him but not miss any spots. I moved up to his privates, which caused him to freak out.

“Not there! That will hurt!” He looked at me with wide eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

He sighed frustratingly before relaxing again.

I chuckled and proceeded to shave him again until down there and his armpits were completely shaven. I washed off the razor before putting it away and washing his body again. No one could be clean enough. Then I moved behind him and took out my shampoo. I put his head under the water gently before taking it back and washing his hair, scratching at his scalp. “Feeling okay?” I wanted our honeymoon to be the very best it could be. I wanted him to feel loved and pampered. I wanted him to know why he married me. I wanted to make him as happy as I was.

“Feeling great.” He smiled and laid against me stretching out a little before snuggling back down and letting me do whatever I pleased. He hummed softly and looked down at his body. “You sure gave it a beating. Are you sure I’m okay? The wax didn’t like poison me or anything, did it?”

He was cute. “I mean, the wax was pretty hot so it probably gave you a tiny burn, but it should heal quickly. I’m going to put aloe on your burns then lotion on your wrists and the rest of your body where I shaved you.”

“Will it hurt…?”

“Not at all. From here on out it’s just me spoiling the shit out of you. That okay?”

“Very.” He smiled brightly before leaning up and kissing the bottom of my chin. “I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too, kiddo.” I rinsed him off before washing myself quickly. I turned off the shower and filled the bath so Eren could just relax. His muscles were probably sore and a bath would cure that with no problems. “Did you like the wax?”

“Yeah. I like it when you tie me up and blind fold me. It makes it exciting.” He slid further under the water and sighed. “So warm~”

I smiled and closed my eyes. It was warm. It was perfect. At some point we both ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, Eren had gotten out of the tub and was getting on his clothes.

He turned to me and smiled he handed me his collar. “Put it on?”

I stood up and put it on him. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah! My legs and butt doesn’t hurt anymore.” He wiggled his hips happily. He was the cutest fucking person ever. He was like my little puppy. My adorable little puppy.

I ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. “Let’s put aloe and lotion on you.”

“Is it necessary?”

“It would make me feel better.” I looked at him and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. “I would rather be safe than sorry later.”

Eren took off his clothes and then took my hand. “Let’s go then.” He went to the bed and took off the towel. “Permission to be on the bed, master?”

I smiled, “permission granted.”

He laid down and looked up at me. “Thank you.”

I kissed him before getting out the aloe first. I started rubbing it on his stomach and the small burn on his cheek. He was so gorgeous. I couldn’t believe a guy like this would be a guy like me. I don’t understand how he never had a date before me. I guess I was just lucky. I kept rubbing him with aloe until switching over to lotion and starting with his feet, I worked my way up.

“Do you have a feet fetish, Levi?”

“No. That’s gross.”

“Heh, you like rubbing them though.”

“I actually don’t. But you need pampering.”

Eren laid back down and hummed. “You know, if you’re uncomfortable doing something you don’t have to do it either. You’re allowed to say the safe word too.”

I stopped my rubbing and looked down. I hadn’t really thought of it that way. I was so cautious of not going past Eren’s boundaries that I forgot my own. I let go of his feet and started to message up his legs. “…I guess I never really thought about it like that.”

“Heh, that’s why you need me. To make sure you’re not uncomfortable also.” Eren laughed before humming softly. “Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we have kids?”

If I had been drinking something I would have choked on it. My eyes widened and I looked up at him with shock. “Where did that come from?”

Eren continued to look up at the ceiling. He shrugged and smiled, “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it for a while actually. I mean, we can financially support a child, especially once I get through college and get a stable job. We’d be great parents, especially you. I think we could really do it.”

“You know how fucking hard it is for two guys to adopted a child?” I don’t know why but having a child was the most terrifying thing in the world. It was more than just a pet. You have to raise that child to be the best and if you fuck up then they’re life is.

“Yeah… but I think we can do it.”

“…It’s a big responsibility…”

Eren looked down at me and tilted his head. “Do you ever want kids?”

“… I mean, I guess I just never thought about it… I’ve never really liked kids…”

“Levi… are you scared?”

“Huh?”

“To raise one that is. Normally you’re so eager to do the whole couple thing.”

Damnit. He always knows what I’m thinking. Does he really just know me that well? “Maybe.”

“That’s okay, Levi. I’m a little scared too, but we wouldn’t be raising them alone. I promise.” He smiled at me before holding my hand and kissing it. “I really want to have one at least.”

I sighed. Goddmanit. “Okay… if we get approved we’ll adopt. We need to child proof our house first and it’s going to be a lot of work. You can’t back out.”

“I won’t! This is something I really want!”

For some reason I thought I was just way over my head with this, but to see Eren so happy and to know he would be there to help me… put my mind at rest for now. I smiled and continued to message up his arms before doing his back.

“Mmm… you deserve some pampering too master.”

“I’m okay.” I really was. I was happy just being able to run my hands over his body and be the reason he was so damn happy. I leaned down and kissed his head before just laying down next to him. He laid down on my shoulder and curled up on my side. He kissed my cheek and for the rest of the day there we just cuddled and whispered sweet nothings.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You’re my world, master.”

“You’re mine.”

“I’m glad we got married.”

“I am too.”

“Heh, are you just going to agree with me?”

“Yeah. Cause everything you say is true.”

“Levi is an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

He laughed and poked my chest. “You’re silly.”

I smiled and shook my head. “You’re the silly one.”

“I am not.”

“You are too.”

We laughed before kissing each other. Yeah, maybe raising a family with him wouldn’t be so bad. I fell asleep with that thought. It was a very nice thought. He was so warm and it was so comfy. I’d do anything to keep us together. I’d do anything to keep him safe and protected. I snuggled closer to him and kissed his head. I dreamt about little feet across our kitchen floor, me making breakfast and Eren setting the table. I dreamt about taking them to the park and pushing our kids on the swings while Eren ran around the playground. I dreamt about going on trips and seeing all sorts of sights. I dreamt about the happy future I wanted to have. I dreamt about the future that was ripped away from me.

~~~

“Woah! This is the Eiffel Tower?!” Eren asked looking over the railing.

I quickly grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him away from the edge. “Don’t do that. You’re going to fall and kill yourself. And yeah, it is.”

“Did you come here often?”

“When I was little I thought it was pretty cool but when I got older I didn’t like how many tourist there was. Especially since half of them didn’t speak French.”

“Speak French to me.”

“Vous êtes mon monde, Eren.”

Eren gasped and his eyes sparkled. I could practically see a tail wagging excitedly behind him. “What did you say?!”

“You are my world, Eren.”

He squealed and jumped up and down. “So perfect! You should speak dirty to me in it!”

“Shhh. You’re going to get us weird looks.”

“Please?”

I sighed and nodded. “Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec vous maintenant.”

“What did you say!?”

“Why are you making me say things in French just to translate it?”

“Because I need to know what you said!”

I shook my head before leaning down and whispering in his ear. “I want to have sex with you now.” From the heat radiating onto me, I knew he was blushing madly.

“Stop talking in French now… it’s too sexy.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Shall we continue on with the tour around Paris?”

“Take me to places you went to.”

“Heh, will do.”

“I’m really excited, Levi. Thank you for taking me here.”

“No problem.” Because I really would give the world to you. I would give anything to keep you in my arms. I don’t know why I felt so romantic lately. Maybe it was just the honeymoon vibe. Maybe I was just falling for Eren even more. Either way, I was happy to be with him here. I was happy to show him around.

“Then let’s go!” He grabbed my wrist and we walked out of the Eiffel Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the French is wrong! I was using google translate. XD  
> Thanks for the support!


	51. We're Getting There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You might hate me for this..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 51

I took him to a small café where we got coffee and crapes. We sat down outside at a park and ate them, though Eren was running around looking at everything. Honestly, it was exactly like the parks in America, maybe just a little bit bigger. I didn’t complain though. He was so cute running around and trying to take in all the sights.

“Where to now?” He asked after finishing is last crape.

“Hmm… I can take you to the house I grew up then and then over to where the gang used to hang out at. That’s really it though. I didn’t go anywhere else when I lived here. I had only lived here for sixteen years and ten of those years I was stuck at home studying and doing chores.” I explained and brought him closer to me. I kissed his head and smiled at him. “But you know that’s really okay. I wish it had remained like that.”

“Levi… do you regret killing all those people and moving to America?”

I hummed and looked up at the sky. “Yes, and no. I’m upset it happened, but I don’t regret it. I told you what Erwin told me. If I had regretted it, it would have been the end of me too.”

“Levi…?”

“Hmm?” I looked up into those gorgeous green eyes and smiled at him. He was looking at me with so much curiosity. At that moment I felt like I could tell him everything and anything. Just stay there all day and just keep him close. I had always thought that Eren was the one that was going to change. I met him when he was young so it was only natural that he would mature and grow as a person. And he has. But what I didn’t expect was that Eren had changed me. He somehow chipped away at the wall surrounding my heart and got his way through. He was the one making me love him more and more until it hurt. I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to be this sweet guy forever. I didn’t think one person could change me as much as he has, but he somehow did and for that I am very thankful.

“You’re really amazing.” He was grinning down at me before he leaned down and kissed me.

I rolled my eyes before closing them and kissing him back. What a brat. How dare he make my heart beat so quickly? I pulled him closer and ran my hands up into his soft brown locks, messing them up. I didn’t care though and I don’t think he did either because he kept kissing me until we both had to lean away and pant for breath.

“Thank you… for this perfect vacation.”

I smiled and shook my head. “It’s really no problem.”

“I know… but… every minute I’m here with you is another minute I love being here with you more and more.”

I shook my head and got up. He was unbelievable. Simply gorgeous. I turned to him and held out my hand. “Come on, we have a busy day of me showing you around.” I wanted to get this over with, but I wasn’t too anxious about it. Eren was here with me to help me through it.

Eren took my hand and got up and we made our way out of the park. “Levi, why did you chose me? Like… what made you want to collar me in the first place?”

“You were everything I could ever dream of and more. Have you ever wanted something so badly it hurt? That’s what it was like with you. I didn’t chose you, Eren. Fate did.”

“Heh, in the beginning of all this Armin told me something about this thing called the red string of faint. I guess it’s something to do with Japanese… or was it Chinese culture…? Some nation like that. And what would happen was that there was a red string tied to each person’s pinky and whoever was on the other end they were destined to be together I think…” Eren chuckled and leaned against me some. “I think that’s what happened to us. We’ve been together for two lives now. Maybe even more. I think that’s pretty great. I think that’s why we were destined to fall in love in this life. We are going to be together forever. No matter if one us dies or not.”

I hummed and nodded. “That sounds accurate… but what if we have to go out together each time?”

“Then neither of us have to suffer seeing the other one die and then have to live on afterwards.”

And maybe he was right. I already survived seeing one of my lovers die. I already survived leaving my second lover and now here I am with my third. Maybe the heartache in the past was just preparing me for the future. At the time, I thought that that was a morbid thought, but in actuality, I think that is one of the truest statements I’ve ever thought of. I held his hand tighter and smiled. “Yeah… I just hope I don’t have to see you go. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if you did.”

“Heh, well, you’re older than me by a lot so I doubt I will go out before you.”

“Could you handle it if I died?” I looked over at him to judge his reaction and when I did I regretted asking him in the first place. His face was down casted and it looked like he had tears in his eyes already. 

“No… I couldn’t… but…. I would have to be. I think it’s a blessing to be with you. No matter how old you get, no matter if I even have to visit your grave every day to tell you what everyone is up to, I won’t regret being with you. I will live on because your death just means that we had survived another lifetime… and… I think I’m okay with that.”

My heart raced. That was so tragically charming I didn’t know what to do with myself. “Eren… I…” I looked down and smiled. “I think I’d be okay with that too…”

He hugged me and before ruffling my hair. “Let’s stop thinking about that! Now, are we almost there?” Oh the typical kid question finally came up.

“Yeah. Just through this neighborhood.” I nodded and held him closer so we weren’t in anyone’s way. “I hope it doesn’t disappoint you.”

“Nope. Just seeing it on the outside is good enough for me. Then I’ll know where you grew up and how happy you were here. Your eyes light up when you’re here so this place must be special to you.”

Damn him. How could he read me so well? Was I really being that obvious? I sighed and shook my head. “Don’t be an idiot, Eren.”

“I’m not being an idiot. I’m just saying what’s true. You do look like you’re a lot happier here. Like your face lights up and you don’t look as mad as you normally do.”

I stared at him a little hurt. “When do I ever look mad?”

“Levi… no offense… but you’re really scary…”

“I am not!”

“Levi, darling, I am your husband and thus I know you better than anyone else in the world and you are scary.”

“I am not…” I looked down. That really hurt. Did Eren fear me? Or does he not like me? Did he just go along with the wedding just to please me? I don’t want that… I don’t want any of that.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way! I’m used to it now! Seriously, you’re fine. I’m just saying that’s why a lot of my friends were scared to talk to you during our wedding. You give off this tough guy persona. Like you’ll beat up anyone even if they just look at you the wrong way.”

“I’m sorry… I never realized…”

“It’s okay. Just try to smile more. You look a lot better when you do. The first time you smiled at me I think my heart melted. Maybe that’s what made me fall in love with you.”

I thumped him gently on the back of his head. “Don’t be stupid. My smile is not that great.”

“No, it is. It’s the most wonderful smile I’ve ever seen. It’s one of the reasons why I’m always trying to please you so you will show it to me more.”

He was charming. He liked my smile so much he wanted to make me smile. I couldn’t help the smile that came across my face. He was so cute. My heart was racing and I couldn’t stop it. I leaned over and kissed him, holding him close. When we leaned away, I took him to a medium white house that had flowers in the front and a large backyard. “This was my house. My room was up there.” I pointed to a room that was on the side of the building.

“Woah… Levi… this is so great… I wish I lived here!” He laughed and looked around where he could. No lights were on inside so the new owners must be out.

“Heh, it’s not all that special.” But to Eren, it probably was. He had been in apartments his whole life so this house was probably like a mansion to him.

Eren turned to me in complete shock. “Of course it is! You grew up in here! It’s the best house ever for that reason.”

I shook my head. “I was also kicked out of here and forced to live on the streets. I doubt it was all that great.”

Eren sighed and threw up his hands. “You’re so stubborn.”

“I’m not that stubborn.”

“Yes you are.”

“Oh my god, Eren! I’m not.”

Eren stared at me and shook my head. “Of course not.”

I sighed. He was annoying too. But a good annoying. I’d rather fight over petty stuff like this than fight over stuff that could potentially break us up. I pulled him close and started walking away. “We shouldn’t hang around. People might wonder if we’re robbers or something.”

“Oh, right… sorry. So, was it fun being in a gang?”

“Yeah. You knew people had your back so it was reassuring.”

“Even when other gangs came to hurt you?”

I tried to remember back and chuckled, “Honestly, I don’t really remember too many gangs trying to get our turf. So, I don’t think anyone did while I was there. I think after I kicked ass the first day I joined the gang, everyone kept their distance until I left.”

“Heh, you’re so strong and tough. I wish I was like that.”

“I could help you train, but I love you the way you are. You’re my adorable little puppy that I need to protect.” I smiled up at him. He really was like my little puppy. I was getting hungry. The walk was nearly a two hour walk, but with Eren it didn’t seem like that. With Eren, time didn’t seem so important. It felt like we had our whole lives ahead of us.

“Really? That would be great! I’m losing all my muscles.” Eren whined and lifted his stomach to show his flat stomach that had fading muscles.

“Heh, put your shirt down. We’ll work out together in the morning before you go to school and you’ll get them back. How does that sound?”

“That sounds great! Thank you, Levi!”

“No problem, kiddo.” I ruffled his hair and took him to an abandon factory. It was empty after I looked through the window, so I walked him in and smiled. “See that loft thing up there? That was where me, Farlan and Isabel slept while everyone else slept down here. It was a great arrangement. We were unstoppable.”

“Why were you named the Survey Corps?”

“Because when Farlan, Isabel and I all met we remembered our past in it so we changed the name to that.”

Eren looked around the large area of boxes and blankets thrown about. There was dust everywhere suggesting that no one had been there for a while. He turned to me with sparkling eyes. “I wish I could have joined! It seems so wonderful!” He started walking around acting like he had never seen a building that was not in use in all his life.

“Heh, you would have died the first day.”

Eren turned to me in a glare. “I can fight just as well as you!”

“But with guns?”

He opened his mouth before letting out an annoyed sound and looking away. “What was Isabel and Farlan like?”

“Isabel was a lot like you. Farlan was kind of laid back and slightly mean. He was the one that came up with our plans and stuff like that.”

“Oh, so why didn’t you fall in love with Isabel?”

I chuckled and leaned against a wall. “Maybe because she wasn’t hot like you.”

“I knew you were only with me for my looks!” Eren gasped and gave me the finger.

I waved him off and wiped my hands off on my pants. “You got so offensive.”

“Only being with me for my looks is so insulting.”

“But you know it’s more than that.”

“Yeah… but… I don’t like you even joking about it…”

I didn’t understand what he meant. If he knew I didn’t mean it then why was it a big deal. I sighed and shook my head. “Anyways, we should probably leave soon, just in case someone does live here. I wouldn’t want to run into anymore gangs.”

“Okay… Thank you for taking me.”

“You’re welcome.”

I took him back to the hotel and the remaining time in France was spent seeing more sights, having lots of kinky sex and having a wonderful time. It was wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a better trip. 

~~~

The only reason I’m not writing more about it is because… the next chapter I’m going to skip more time. I realize I can’t document every single day and maybe you guys would want that, but this story is starting to get long and I want to get to the climax. I want to get the climax over. You kind of get the picture how our relationship was anyways. So, I think skipping a year won’t be too much of a big deal.

Heh, or maybe I’m wrong. Either way I just want to write how my family became my family. If that’s okay?

If not… I apologize. See you in the next chapter. You’ll meet my children for the first time.

-Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is A Change's 1st birthday! Woo! :D  
> Thanks for the support!


	52. Parenting: Ages 8/6 part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Well... we got the little brats... now what?_  
>  -Levi

Chapter 52

This was it… we were picking up our five year old daughter and seven year old son. I was so nervous. I couldn’t even imagine what was going to happen. It took a good year and a half to be approved, but now our house was ready. I parked in a parking spot and cut the engine. I took a breath and let it out.

Eren smiled brightly and turned to me. “This is it! We’re finally going to have them!”

“Heh, yeah… nervous?”

“Not at all.”

Of course he wouldn’t be. Eren was perfect. He wanted this. I did too… but I was worried I’d mess up. Why do I do this to myself? “Then… let’s go pick them up.”

We got out of the car and I took Eren’s hand, walking up to the adoption center. We walked in and went to the office where they were waiting with their bags.

Oliver had light brown choppy hair that went to his ears and big green eyes that seemed too big for his face. He was pale and slightly chubby but taller than average for his age. He was wearing a jersey that had a number five on the front. His blue shorts came down to his knees. He looked up at us and smiled.

Ellise was a short shy little girl who had sunken in brown eyes and freckles dotting her face. She was in a pink dress and had brown hair that reached her lower back with long slanted bangs that covered one of her eyes. She was really pretty and he knew Eren couldn’t wait to mess around with her hair. 

Eren walked over and knelt down to be at eye length with them. “Excited to go home?”

Oliver nodded excitedly and got up putting on his backpack. “Yeah! Where do you live? Is it big? Do you have like race cars and cool things like that? Do you have a dog?”

Ellise grabbed her pink suitcase. “Y-Yeah…”

Eren picked her up gently and smiled at her. “Then let’s go.”

I walked up and took Oliver’s hand. “Umm… It’s nothing big or cool, but we went out and got a new house just for you guys. You will have your own rooms and you can help decorate them.”

“Really? That’s so cool!” Oliver smiled happily and bounced up and down a little as he walked. “But umm… where’s are mommy?”

I looked over at Eren and he looked back at me. I sighed and knelt down. I had to be the bad guy to bring this news. “You won’t have a mommy. You will have two dad’s that will love you very much. Same thing really. That okay?”

“Yeah! That’s cool!” Oliver nodded and with that I got up and walked them to the car. Oliver was disappointed that it wasn’t a race car, but got in his booster seat while Ellise got in her car seat. They were both excited, Oliver being the more vocal one. “I want to be a profession volleyball player when I grow up! You’ll sign me up for a team, right? Pretty please? I’ll do chores and stuff to make up for it!”

Eren giggled from beside me and nodded. “Of course! I would love to see you at games. Volleyball is in the fall, right?”

“Spring and fall. Normally April through June and September through November.” I said pulling out of the driveway and went the way we came.

“Yeah! I really like it!” Oliver continued on about how much he actually loved the support.

I pulled into the driveway of our house and sighed. We moved out as soon as the lease was up from the apartment and moved into the house. Hanji had gotten her own place anyways. It was a starter home that didn’t cost much. All the rooms were on one floor starting out with the entry way and a huge garage that extended out from the actually house. It connected to the laundry room. To the left of the entry way was an office that was currently used by Eren for studying. He had decided that he wanted to become a policeman. He was all about saving lives. To the left of the study was a bedroom, left blank for the children to decide who got it. When you left the bedroom the next room in front of it was a small bathroom that had all the necessities. Then there was the second bedroom for the kids next to that. When you left the kids side of the house there was the family room that was connected to the dining room. The kitchen and laundry room was beside that. The dining room also connected to mine and Eren’s room where we had the master bath that we took full advantage of. The small backyard could be reached from the living room.

“We’re here.” I stated and turned to the kids.

Oliver gasped and tried to struggle out of his seatbelt and booster seat.

Eren and I went to our children and got them out of their seats. I ran after them and unlocked the door for them. They ran in and started looking around. They reminded me of little puppies trying to figure out all the secrets of their new surroundings. I stumbled a little when Eren pushed me in. I took off my shoes and put them on the shoe wrack before stepping aside so he could do the same. I walked further in the house to find them in one of the bedrooms. “Can you guys take off your shoes before you come in, please? Cleanliness is happiness.”

They both sat down and took off their shoes before looking around the house more. I sighed and picked up their shoes and brought them back to the shoe wrack. “I’m already tired, Eren.”

Eren laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist. He leaned down and kissed me softly. “You’re going to be a wonderful father, Levi. Don’t worry.”

I sighed and nodded. “I’m just nervous is all.”

Eren ruffled my hair and shook his head, “Don’t be.” He took my hand and together we went over to Oliver and Ellise. “Have you guys decided rooms? We’ll add more stuff to the later but for now you each have a desk, a dresser, a toy chest and a bed. So, you can put your clothes away and get comfortable. Dinner will be ready in…” He looked over at me.

“An hour.” I smiled at them and their eyes beamed.

“Yea! Okay!” Oliver turned to Ellise and pushed her to the room next to the study. It was smaller and he was a boy so he needed more room. At least, that’s how he put it. 

“Hey, Ellise, you’ll be right next to Eren’s office so if you need anything then you can just go there. He’s normally in there at night.”

Ellise perked up and nodded. “Thank you.” Her shyness was slowly fading and for that everyone was thankful for. “Can you help me put my clothes away?”

Eren nodded and took her hand leading her to her room.

I sighed and looked at Oliver. “What don’t you like to eat?”

“Fish is gross. And peanuts make it hard for me to breathe.”

I nodded and ruffled his hair. “Do you need help putting away your things?”

“No, I’ll be fine, ummm…”

“Levi.”

“Levi.” He chuckled and rubbed his neck. “That’s a weird name.”

“Well, you have a weird jersey on.”

He gasped and looked at me like that was the biggest sin in the world, “This just so happens to be the greatest volleyball player’s number and colors and it’s signed! That’s big! I got it right before the…” He looked down. “Never mind…”

I tilted my head and knelt down to be at eye level with him. “You know, I really didn’t get along with my parents. They didn’t like me so much that they kicked me out. I had to live by myself for a while.”

Oliver’s eyes widened in fascination. “Really?”

“Yeah. I guess I mouthed off too many times. Well, after I came back home my dad and mom split up and my dad and I came to America. I once lived in France.”

“What?! Woah! That’s so cool!”

“Heh, why?”

“I always wanted to see everything!”

Even though I knew this wasn’t possible, Oliver just reminded me so much of Eren. He was so energetic just like my lover. He was so ready to face the world head on and not care who is there to try to stop him. I smiled and ruffled his hair. “You will one day. Now go get settled in, I need to make dinner.”

“Can I help once I’m done?”

I paused and looked at him. I’ve never had help in the kitchen before. Eren offered, but after he burnt all the food in the house he was off limits to the kitchen. “Sure.” It would be a nice change in pace.

I turned and walked to the kitchen. I decided to make some hamburgers and fries. Not the healthiest thing, but everyone seemed to like them. Not too long after I started, Oliver came and patted out the patties for me.

“So you just put them in the pan?”

“Let me. The pan is hot. If you want you can pour some french fries on a pan. The oven is almost done.” I put the four patties on the pan and put a lid on top of them so they could cook. “Wash your hands first though. It’s bad to touch other food after touching raw meat.”

“Why?”

“It can make you sick.”

Oliver nodded and washed his hands before putting some fries on the pan and spreading them out. “Like this?”

I smiled and nodded, “Just like that. Now, you can tear off some of the lettuce.”

“Gross!”

“Lettuce is the most important ingredient on a hamburger.” I lied. I wanted them to eat something healthy. Even if it is mixed in with a bunch of unhealthy foods. I didn’t want to fail at parenting the first day I was given the job. “I have to cut up onion and tomato too. All very important in building the best burger ever. Just try a little bit, okay? I’ll let you drown it in ketchup and mayo afterwards if you don’t like it.”

“Okay!” He smiled and got up on his step stool to do what I had asked. Eventually everything was cut and cooked. I had him set the table before getting out four glasses.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Milk! So, I don’t turn out short like you!”

I gritted my teeth and glared at him a little. Not like the intense glare I normally wore, but it was pretty damn close. “It’s not nice to make fun of people on their height.”

“Levi, don’t be mean.” Eren hissed and put Ellise in her chair before pouring everyone milk. “You can’t scare them off that easily.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “He didn’t scare me.”

Eren chuckled and shook his head before sitting down.

The rest of us did and began building our burgers before putting fries on their plates. We ate till we were full and then I took Ellise to our master bathroom and Eren took Oliver to the other bathroom. They were much too old to bathe together. After that we let them get dressed and we tucked them in. I actually didn’t mind this whole parenting thing. I kissed Oliver on the forehead before walking to Ellise’s room, passing Eren along the way and kissed her head telling both of them to have sweet dreams.

When we got to our room, we undressed and walked to our bathroom where we shut the door. I started a bath and slowly slipped it in making sure we had lots of bubbles for a nice relaxing bath. I leaned back and sighed. It was so perfect. Now the only person I needed with me was Eren.

Eren slipped in a couple minutes later and switched places with me so I was in front of him. He started to wash me off and kiss my cheek. “So, we finished the day…”

“Yeah… how do you think we did as first parents?” I chuckled and leaned back against him feeling tired already. We hadn’t even had them for a full day and I already felt tired.

“Mmm… I give you a C and me an A.”

I rolled my eyes and elbowed him gently. “That’s a load of shit.”

“Heh, yeah… you get an A-. Only because you glared at Oliver when he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“He called me short.” I whined and looked down at the bubbles that was spread around us.

“Take it like a man.” Eren laughed and kissed my cheek. “Tomorrow Hanji, Erwin and Armin are coming over to visit them. Can you handle seeing him?”

“It’s not like I never not see him.” I closed my eyes and put it back to rest on Eren’s shoulder. “Besides, we are friends.”

“I still find that weird.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Our relationship was toxic… but as friends… we make a good team. We depend on each other more than you know, Eren. If I ever lost him, or you or both I don’t know what I’d do with myself. He’s my best friend, Eren. I trust him with my life.”

Eren looked down and sighed. “Do you trust me with your life?”

I turned to him and held his hands. “I trust you with everything I got, kid.”

“Heh, not a kid anymore.”

“I think you are.”

“Because you’re old.”

I splashed him and shook my head. I quickly got us both clean before we put on boxers and a shirt before walking to bed. We climbed in and I held him close. After a couple minutes I whispered softly to him, “You know… I think I’m excited for tomorrow.” When I got no reply I looked down to see he was sleeping. What an angel. I kissed his head and tucked us in before falling asleep myself. It was such a peaceful sleep. I was so happy we decided to do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support!


	53. Parenting: Ages 8/6 part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm almost there... After our story is written... who knows what will happen. But at least I had fun on this day._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 53

“You’re going to meet dear friends of ours, got it?” I winked at them from where I was mixing muffin mix. They woke us up at nine and luckily we had got clothes on after our nice little bath.

“What are their names?” Ellise asked looking up from me from one of the dining room table chairs, a coloring book and crayons scattered around the wooden table. 

“Hanji, Erwin, Mikasa and Armin.”

“Why do you all have weird names?!” Oliver asked looking over at me like he was given to mentally unstable person. I had to laugh at him. He had a right to be nervous about seeing Hanji.

Eren walked in from putting clothes in the dryer and chuckled. “Because our names aren’t from here. Mine, Armin and Erwin’s are German. My sister’s is Spanish.”

“Oh…It’s still weird…” Oliver muttered looking down and handing Ellise a color she was looking for. “Why did you adopt both of us?”

I looked over at Eren wanting him to explain this. Really, it was because we could house two children and afford both of them. Plus, we couldn’t pick one of them. I wanted Oliver and Eren wanted Ellise. We both decided that adopting both would be a nice middle ground. 

“Because we fell in love with both of you.” Eren smiled brightly. Such a fucking kiss up.

“What do you guys do for jobs?”

“I’m a policeman.” Eren boasted and I found him cute when he did. He should be proud that he got to become something he wanted to be. “Levi is an English teacher?”

“Yeah.” I nodded and put the muffins in the oven, setting a timer. I joined the rest of my family at the table and sighed. “I don’t suggest becoming a teacher.”

“You just don’t like it because you have to grade papers.” Eren stuck his tongue out at me.

“No, because I have to deal with a hundred kids at school and three more here.” I teased back, snickering at the hurt look on his face.

“I am not a child!”

“You stuck your tongue out at me.”

“… So?!”

“Child.”

Eren leaned back and crossed his arms, blowing out a big gust of air. “That just means the Oliver and Ellis will love me more.”

“Eren… That’s not very nice.” I crossed my arms.

Eren looked down and whined. “I’m sorry…”

I ruffled his hair before getting the muffins out of the oven and putting them on a plate. I put them on the table and sat down to eat. I only was able to take one bite of my muffin before the doorbell rang. I sighed and got up. I walked to the door and opened it. It was Armin and Erwin. I smiled at them a little and stepped aside. Armin ran in and tackled Eren to the floor in a hug.

“Hey, Levi…” Erwin whispered to me.

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you in private?”

“Oh… uh… sure…” I led him to the office and shut the door behind him. I hopped on Eren’s desk so I could sit down. “What is it?”

“…I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you. I… I know things haven’t always been okay between us, but… after what happened with Petra I just wanted to protect you. I didn’t think you would ever move on from her completely. I especially didn’t think you were going to get committed to someone again… so I’m sorry I tried to break you and Eren up. I just…” Erwin sighed and looked to the side. “I messed up and I’m sorry.”

I looked at him. His eyes were so sorrowful. He regretted it that much. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. “Erwin, I already said it was okay. I mean, I’ve said some pretty hurtful things to you too. It’s in the past though. It’s fine.” I just wanted him to look happier. I didn’t want him to regret his decisions for the rest of his life. “You can’t regret your decisions. If you weren’t there to try to break us up, we might not have fought to stay together. If we hadn’t worked out you would have regretted not helping me more. Live a life with no regrets. That’s all we can do.”

Erwin rolled his eyes and shoved me a little. “Don’t throw my words back at me.”

I fell back a little and laughed. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want to.” I stood and pushed him back. “Don’t push me.”

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want to.” Erwin mocked and pushed me back.

I glared at him and pushed him again. “Don’t mock me.”

Erwin laughed and smiled at me. “So, can I meet your kids now? I’ve been waiting forever for them to arrive.”

“Heh, yeah.” I nodded and took him to the kitchen where Armin had taken my chair to talk to Oliver, who was bragging about volleyball. 

“Don’t talk his ear off, Oliver.” I chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair. I glanced over at Eren to see he was beaming with pride. It made me happy to see him like that.

“I’m not!” Oliver smiled before his eyes widened. “WOAH!” He jumped out of his chair and ran up to Erwin. “You’re so tall! I want to be as big as you! Then I could get the balls over the net!”

I chuckled and shook my head and sat down. “Eren, you’re blinding me from your happiness.”

“Heh, sorry, love. I’m just happy to show my family off.” He got up and came over to me kissing me gently.

“Ew! Cooties!” Our first grader gasped and looked away from us.

Eren chuckled and leaned away from me, he looked at me and held my face. “I love you.”

My heart was pounding. I loved this man so much. I didn’t think anything could separate us. I swallowed and wrapped my arms around his waist before pulling him down into my lap. “Yeah, just because I let you kiss me.”

Eren looked at me offended then crossed his arms. “How dare you accuse me of that?”

“Because it’s totally true, Eren.” Armin giggled at us, “You’re always kissing, Levi.”

Eren turned to him and glared at him, “Armin! You’re supposed to have my back! You’re my best friend after all.”

“Sorry, Levi’s right though. You do kiss him a lot.” Armin smiled.

“Yeah, we’ll you’re always riding on Erwin’s-”

I slapped the back of his head, “Hush, Ellise is right there.”

Eren blushed and looked at the girl before chuckling. “Erwin’s back.”

Ellise gasped and smiled brightly turning to Armin, “Will he give me a piggy back ride?!”

Armin chuckled and nodded. “If you ask nicely.”

Ellise jumped up and ran over to Erwin before looking down and fiddling with her dress. “Ummm…”

“What is it?” Erwin asked kneeling down and looking at her in concern.

“Will you give me a piggy back ride too? Pretty please?” She swayed back and forth a little trying to show off her cuteness. 

Erwin chuckled and nodded, “Okay. Hop on.”

She smiled and went to his back before jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck, choking him momentarily until he adjusted her. I barely covered Erwin’s torso so she looked like an ant on him. It was pretty laughable, but I held in my snickers. It was always charming to see how good Erwin was with children. He loved children and always wanted some of his own. I smiled and watched him, resting my head on Eren’s shoulder.

Eren elbowed me and pouted, “Hey, don’t be looking at him like that…”

I turned to Eren and tilted my head. “Like what?”

“Like the same way you look at me.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. I thought you were over him…” Hurt flashed through Eren’s eyes and I regretted ever looking at Erwin.

“I am… Eren… I’m married to you… no one else will ever get my heart. I love you and only you. Please, don’t doubt me, love.” I nuzzled his shoulder after looking at him with teary eyes.

Eren sighed and nodded. “Okay… I trust you, Levi…”

I smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly on those perfect pink lips. I leaned away and looked up into his gorgeous green eyes that were more sunken in with age. “I trust you too, Eren.”

Eren smiled and kissed my head. “You’re cute, Levi.”

“How am I cute?”

“Because you’re so tiny.” He snickered and winked at me.

I pushed him off the chair and got up going over to Oliver and picking him up, I took him to the living room and grabbed a ball. I set him down and started to bump a ball back and forth to him. He needed to practice his volleyball techniques.

“Levi, that wasn’t nice!” Eren whined and I heard him plop down on the chair again. “Big bully…”

“Bite me, Eren.”

“I will.”

“Bull.” I bumped the ball back to him gently. When Oliver bumped it back, Eren tackled me to the floor causing the ball to land and bounce off my head. I glared at him from behind and shook my head. “Get off. What are you doing?”

Eren leaned down and kissed me before leaning away. “I’m sorry I call you tiny.”

“Damn right you are.” I hissed back at him and pushed him off me.

“Ooooooo, daddy said a bad word!” Ellise tattled on me to Erwin.

“Did he now? Well, I guess we’ll just have to put him in the corner.” Erwin snickered and picked me up after putting Ellise down and putting me in a corner of the house. “Better learn your lesson, Levi.”

“Why the fuck is everyo-” Before I could say anything someone knocked on the door. By the knock I could tell it was Hanji. She didn’t wait for anyone to answer and just came in.

“Aunty Hanji is here with gifts!” She cackled and ran in giving Ellise and Oliver their own presents.

They both gasped and started tearing into them.

“Oliver, Ellise, what do we say?” Eren asked to remind me of their manners as if kids really meant it when they said ‘thank you’.

“Thank you!” They both said and pulled out their gifts. Ellise got a panda bear and Oliver got a race car. They both started playing, Ellise dressing her bear up and Oliver running the car over every surface he could.

I sighed, getting up from the corner and went over to lean against the couch. I was kind of tired. Everyone here was draining me and I was wondering how late they would stay. We still had one more guest to come. As soon as I thought that our last guest knocked on the door.

The real aunt came in and waved to us. “Hey.” She walked over to Eren and kissed his head, which he wiped off immediately, and then came over to me and ruffled my hair.

I scowled at her and fixed it. Everyone started socializing and playing with the kids. It was a nice thing to watch. They all were getting a long and with time I knew Oliver and Ellise would come around to loving all of them. Our family was small… and it was going to get smaller… but it was going to be alright.

Eren came over and leaned down in my lap, “Do you think we can do this? Raise them, I mean.”

“Yeah, as long as we have each other we couldn’t possibly fail.” I reassured him and began to run my hand through his hair. “I mean, unless my body doesn’t give out on me.”

“You’re only thirty-seven,” Eren chuckled and kissed my hand.

“Almost middle age. When Oliver is eighteen I’ll be forty-seven. Will you still want to be with an oldie like me?”

“Yeah. Always.” Eren smiled and kissed my hand.

I smiled back and nodded. “Yeah, you say that now. But what if I can’t give you anymore kisses?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

I hummed and chuckled, “Because my lips break off.”

“Then I guess we won’t kiss each other on the lips.”

“Guess you wouldn’t be able to stay with me then.” I snickered.

“I’m not with you for kisses!” He whined and crossed his arms, looking to the side.

“Sure you’re not.”

He threw his hands up and got up, “You’re a bully!”

“I know.” I smiled smugly up at him and blew him a kiss.

He rolled his eyes and walked away.

I smiled and watched him get attacked by Mikasa, who asked him all different questions about Oliver and Ellise. At that moment, I thought everything was going to be alright. It wasn’t going to be though. Not really. But it’s times like these that I think about the most now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I almost didn't get this done in time! XD   
> Enjoy!


	54. Parenting: Ages 9/7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A whole year has gone by._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 54

It’s been a whole year since Oliver and Ellise have been in our lives. I held Eren and swung on our couch swing. Eren was laying across me. I was petting his hair gently. “I love you.”

Eren looked up at him and smiled. “I love you too… thank you for building the playset for them. You did a great job.”

“Yeah, only took two days.” I chuckled looking at the playset that looked like a boat with a bunch of things to swing, climb and slide down on. They were having a ball with it. “I’m glad they’re enjoying it though.” The boat opened up at the bottom to show there was a huge sandbox. Ellise was in the sandbox and Oliver was swinging by holding onto two swings.

“It was worth it… I’m just glad they’re happy. They really are growing up though, I don’t like it.” Eren chuckled and looked up at me. “Pretty soon we’re going to be grandparents.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Not quite yet, love. Let’s just get through them then see if we can handle grandkids. By then, I’ll be an old man.”

“You’re already an old man, Levi.” Eren chuckled and leaned up to kiss me gently.

I kissed him back before sitting him up and pulling him close. “You know… I didn’t think this was a good idea, but… I’m glad we did this…”

“School is starting soon… so is volleyball sign ups…think we can afford sixty-five dollars for Oliver to play?” Eren asked and held me closely.

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, we’ll figure out something…”

“I’ll work overtime.” Eren smiled and stroked my hair. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

I nodded and leaned into his hand. “Yeah…” I didn’t have to worry about it. This family wasn’t just resting on my shoulders it was resting on Eren’s shoulders too. We were going to be okay. I smiled and kissed him again. 

“Daddy…?” Ellise sweet voice came to my ears.

I leaned away and looked at her. “Yes, sweetie?”

“… Ummm… c-c-can…” She started swaying and twisting at her shirt. “Can I go to dance school?”

I looked at Eren then back at her and nodded. “Of course, sweetie. What dance do you want to do? Tap? Ballet?”

“Ballet!”

Eren smiled and nodded. “We’ll find a place for you. I promise.”

“Thank you.” She ran back to the boat.

I leaned against Eren and sighed. “This is going to be tight.”

“…We’ll figure out a budget.” Eren tried to reassure me. 

I sucked in a breath and nodded. “Right. Well, I’ll be going back to work soon so it’ll be okay.”

“Thank you, master.” Eren whispered softly.

My eyes widened and I looked up at him. I haven’t heard Eren call me that since we got Ellise and Oliver. I thought our bdsm life was over. Maybe, we just didn’t have time with it. Playing with Ellise and Oliver normally left us exhausted by the end of the day so we didn’t exactly have time to go all out and fuck each other’s brains out. I looked away and chuckled. “…You can’t say that when you don’t even wear your collar anymore.”

Eren chuckled, “I do, you just never notice.” He held up his wrist and the thick teal fabric I thought was an outrageous bracelet was actually his collar. “I’m yours so of course I’m going to show that.”

I smiled and shook my head. “Is that annoying?”

“Yeah… but… the kids would question it if it’s around my neck. I’ll move it to my neck once they’re older and can be explained to that it is not abuse and that when done correctly it can be a positive thing in a relationship. I want to be able for them to understand that you can’t own someone, that this doesn’t mean that I’m owned.”

He finally fucking got that. I smiled and pulled him close. “You really are the best you know that, you little shit?”

He laughed and looked up at me with sparkling eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

I nuzzled into his soft brown hair and took in his scent. Fuck, he always smelled so good. I don’t think this person could be any more perfect for me. He was just the right person to come in my life just at the right time. He saved me.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“Sing to me tonight? Your songs always calm me down.”

I looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I will.”

He smiled and leaned up and kissed me.

~~~

It was the final game. The big tournament. Ellise was next to us wearing blue and white to support her brother. They had been working hard all season. I cheered for him and laughed when Eren was getting pissed at the referee.

“He totally hates our team, Levi! Stop holding me back! This is unfair!” Eren hissed.

“Settle down before you get us all kicked out. They’re fine. They are eight year olds playing a game don’t get so serious about it.” Though, I was getting fired up. Seeing them try so hard, sliding and stumbling to keep the ball in play, it was incredible. For eight year olds, they were dedicated. Oliver was the one everyone had their eyes on. He was their best server. Anyone could tell he had been practicing most his life. I was biting my lip. I glanced at the score. Twenty-three to twenty-two. It was a close game. I looked back at my son and saw him toss the ball up in the air and step forward, he raised his hand high and hit the ball.

“Ow, Levi! You’re holding my hand too tightly.” Eren whimpered and snatched his hand away. “Are you really that worried?”

“Yes! We’re not exactly that far ahead!” The ball went over the net only to be bumped back over.

“Fuck…he’s going to be so devastated if they don’t win.”

“Levi.”

“This isn’t good… I don’t think we can win… They’re going to-”

“Levi.” Eren hissed and took my face in his hands to make me look at him. “Don’t doubt them. They worked hard all season for this moment. This is their last game. They can do this.”

I looked into his beautiful eyes and nodded. “Right. Sorry.”

Eren let go of my face and turned back to the game. “You got this, Ollie!”

Oliver glared over at him, before serving again. Twenty-four to twenty two. Okay, maybe they can do this. They can get through this. We will celebrate this. As long as the opposing team doesn’t catch up they can do this.

“You know, even if they don’t win… it’ll be okay. Look how happy Oliver is out there. He was born to be on that court.” Eren smiled, eyes shining bright with pride.

I looked at him and smiled, “Yeah.” I couldn’t agree with him more. Oliver was beaming. It didn’t matter that his team and him were out of breath and sweaty. They were having fun. But winning would be nice too. I didn’t want his spirits about this game to go down just because he lost his first tournament.

Ellise looked up at me, pompoms in hands shaking. “He’s going to win!” She started jumping around and spinning on her toes. She has been practicing her dancing as well. 

The ball was sent back over. This one might go for a while. I watched as a boy in front of Oliver hit the ball in correctly so it was sent backwards. Oliver was leaping into action. He ran and then slid, placing his hand right under the ball and making it go back over to his teammates. I gasped and started clapping. That was a nice save.

I was probably getting way too into this game, but this was my little boy’s first tournament! I stood when everyone else did. I cursed and stood up on the bleacher so I could see over everyone. Fucking tall people.

Ellise tugged on my pants and I picked her up and held her. When I looked back at the court I looked just in time to see the other team hit the ball out. That was it. We won. Twenty-five to twenty-two. I saw Oliver get tackled to the ground by his teammates. It was unbelievable. I collapsed back and sighed. This was way too much excitement for me to handle.

“Hey, Levi, you okay?” Eren turned to me.

“Yeah… I just got over excited is all,” I chuckled and turned to him before standing up. “Now, this calls for a celebration. Shall we go out to eat tonight?”

“Yes!” Ellise smiled brightly and hugged me, kissing my cheek. “I second that!”

“Heh, then its agreed. Oliver will get to choose the place.” Eren smiled and helped me up before we went to get Oliver. We high fived before he grabbed his stuff and said good bye to his friends.

“Wasn’t that so cool?!” He leaned back and screamed. “I CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT SEASON!”

Eren laughed and ruffled his hair. “Don’t get over excited.”

“I didn’t miss a single serve! Finally!”

I chuckled and shook my head, still carrying Ellise. “Of course not. You’ve been practicing nonstop. I’ve even caught you sleeping with a few volleyballs a couple times.”

“Volleyball is my soul!” He laughed then turned to us. “But it was all worth it ‘cause we won!”

“And you deserved it. Now, where do you want to eat at? We’ll take you anywhere.” I smiled at him. I put Ellise in her car seat while Eren buckled Oliver into his booster seat.

“Ummm… Olive Garden.” He smiled brightly. That was actually a perfect choice.

“Okay, get some grilled chicken with veggies so you can get back your energy. We’ll take you home first so you can shower real quick. Wouldn’t want to stink up the whole place.”

“Nope!” Oliver laughed.

I got in the driver’s seat and took everyone home. I unlocked the door and took Oliver in and got him in the shower quickly. We waited until he got out and dressed before coming back out into the living room.

“So, Olive Garden?” I asked him to make sure that’s what he wanted.

“Yep!”

I nodded and got everyone back in the car. It was a short drive the restaurant and an even shorter wait to get a table. We were given drinks and a bowl of salad. We started munching while we decided on what we wanted. Oliver and Ellise was sitting next to each other, coloring happily.

I hummed before tensing and looking over at Eren. His hand was on my thigh but he looked like he didn’t even notice. Maybe I shouldn’t either? Maybe he just doesn’t realize? He really shouldn’t be doing this in front of our children. Sure, they may not understand what is really happening, but it is still highly inappropriate. I took his hand away and he looked over at me. I knew that look. That was the look that Eren Yeager was horny. Where the fuck did this come from? “How?”

“How what?” He asked scanning the menu.

“… How are you feeling like that?”

Eren shrugged. “Haven’t done it in a while.”

“…Yeah… but…”

“…Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He looked and whined. “I don’t know what came over me.”

I nodded and looked back at my menu. “So, congrats, Oliver.”

“Thank you. The team really likes me. They were happy when I dove for that ball. Though I got cut up and stuff from the floor.”

“Are you okay?” I asked in concern not realizing he had got hurt.

“I’m fine.” He reassured me with a big smile. “It was worth it. I saved it.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Do me a favor and never get tired of volleyball, okay?”

“Never!” He crossed his heart with a finger.

Eren looked over at me and smiled. He pressed close and held my hand. “Who do you like better Oliver? Me or Levi?”

“Hmmm…Can’t choose!” He huffed and crossed his arms. “Don’t ask me those questions!”

I chuckled and gave him a thumbs up, “Not bad, kiddo.”

He grinned and went back to coloring.

A waiter came and we ordered our food. It was nice going out and celebrating like this. We should do it more often. The kids need to get out of the house and backyard anyways. I didn’t want them to be limited to life. I wanted them to see the world. I wanted them to see everything that Eren and I have seen and more. I glanced at him and smiled. He was perfect. He was a perfect husband. He was a perfect father. He was a perfect person. I hoped that Oliver and Ellise could be even better than us. We all have our faults, but I wanted theirs to be a little less tragic. I didn’t want them to worry about if the past would repeat itself like Eren and I do. I didn’t want them to marry someone they truly loved only to fight with them constantly like Eren and I do. I wanted them to have the perfect life I knew they would never have. No one was perfect. No one had a perfect life. But… maybe I just wanted them to have it not as hard.

Of course, their fates weren’t planned like mine and Eren’s were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	55. Parenting: Ages 10/8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Fucking Eren..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 55

Three days has been nothing but children vomiting, coughing, and sneezing. I was exhausted. I had to stay at home with them because Eren couldn’t get off work. Because “if I’m not there then who will stop crime?” Well, who’s going to be the one to fucking stop your kids from vomiting all over the damn place? I was beyond pissed. What the hell is up with him?

“Daddy…” An eight year old, Ellise whimpered from her bedroom.

I got up from the living room couch and walked over to her room. I sat down next to her and rubbed her back and held her hair back as she emptied her stomach in the bucket next to her. I felt queasy. I was surprised I haven’t gotten sick. The doctor said that it was just the flu that was going around and that it should be gone in a week. I hope it would be less than that. Erwin was already pissed that I’m cutting work so much. Of course, it wouldn’t be so bad if _Eren would be loyal to his fucking family._

When she lifted her head up I wiped her face with a washcloth before handing her water. “You have to drink so your tummy isn’t empty, okay?”

“Okay…” She whined and took a sip.

“Dad…” Oliver called from his room.

“I’ll be back.” I got up and went to his room. Oliver caught it on the second day. I sat down with him and rubbed his back as he vomited in his bucket. I was going to do the same soon. I could feel it.

When he sat up, I washed his face, made him drink water and then went to Ellise’s room. “You okay?”

“Yeah… when’s daddy getting home?”

“You know I never know.” Eren had such irregular hours it wasn’t even funny. He said that since he was the new guy he took all the over time. He said he couldn’t help that his hours were so random. I don’t fucking believe him anymore. The whole situation has put a strain on us and the kids getting sick only made it worse. _He didn’t even try to call off._ The bastard. And when he was home he never took care of the kids. He’s the one who wanted them. He should be the one here. He should be-

“Daddy… why are you crying?” Ellise asked, “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry I’m sick…”

“No, sweetie, it’s not your fault. I’m just frustrated right now with daddy.” 

“Why?”

“Because I want him home and he’s not. It’s not daddy’s fault either. I’m just being selfish.” The fuck I’m not. He should be here. He should at least be _trying._ The house was a mess. I hadn’t been able to clean it since the kids got sick. 

“Is daddy going to break up with daddy?”

“No. Never. You know how we have our little fights every now and then? Well, this is just one of those. We’ll be okay. We just need to talk it out.”

“Why don’t you?”

Because he’s never here. “Because I want to talk to him at the right time.”

“Oh… okay…”

I smiled and got up. I walked to the living room and collapsed on the couch. Fucking Eren. I heard the door open and wanted to sigh in relief but it didn’t come out. I wasn’t really happy he was here, rather more annoyed.

Eren walked in and collapsed on the couch next to me. He had bags under his eyes.

“Tch.” I got up and walked to the kitchen to get started on cleaning while the kids were okay.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Eren asked looking up at me.

“My problem is that you won’t fucking come home. Now watch your fucking language. The kids are in their rooms.” 

“Does it look like I’m loving this any more than you are, Levi?! We’ve already been through this! I can’t get off work! I’m the new deputy!”

“Yeah, well, you got promoted at the wrong fucking time. I need you here, Eren!” I turned to him and glared at him. 

“How hard is it?! They’re sick, Levi! It’s not the first fucking time! And cleaning isn’t that hard either!”

“Then why don’t you fucking clean when you get home?!”

Eren got up and glared at me. “Because I’m fucking exhausted! Do you understand the shit I go through every day?! Do you know the shit I see?! It fucking sucks!”

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo. You _chose_ that, Eren! Don’t be ridiculous! You love it and you know you fucking do! You love it more than us!”

“Bullshit! Levi, you’re the love of my life! Why are you acting like this?!” Eren crossed his arms and the tears filled his eyes.

“Don’t play the damn victim, Eren! You’re the fucking problem!”

“If I’m the problem then why don’t you get back together with Erwin?!” I saw the regret after he said that. He knew he fucked up and I was going to fuck it up even more. That’s what we did. We had to get worse than we already were before we got better. There were a million things I should have done right then that I didn’t. I should have said let’s cool off for a second. I should have just walked in a different room and slammed the door. I should have said anything but what I said. Because I’d regret it for as long as I live. I would never forgive myself for saying what I did. I trusted Eren. At least I thought I did.

“Don’t you pull that shit on me, Eren!” I slammed my fist on the counter and started walking away. “You know what, I was always loyal to you. I never cheated on you. Don’t you think I would have figured out that you were cheating on me? I mean, come on, who the hell works that unpredictably?”

“Levi, I actually do-”

“Save it. I’m done. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to see you anymore. I want to go fucking lay down and sleep. I want to fucking calm down. And… honestly, Eren, seeing Erwin would be nicer right now than seeing you.” My heart cracked, but I ignored it. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was. I wanted him to fight just this once. I regretted it as soon as I left the house. I wanted to run in, but I kept walking. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was going somewhere. I was leaving. I was leaving my family. I wanted to go back… but I didn’t.

~~~

I knocked on his door and waited for someone to answer. He eventually did and his eyes widened.

“Levi… what are you doing here… are you crying?”

“Shut the fuck up, Erwin, and let me in.” I hissed and pushed past him. I saw Armin on the couch so I sat down next to him and curled up after kicking off my shoes. I didn’t even bother to fix them so they were next to each other instead of on top of each other.

“…Levi…what happened?”

“I’m done… I’m so fucking done…”

“Levi…” Armin asked and turned to me.

“…He doesn’t come home anymore, Erwin. He never fucking does. He doesn’t even fucking care that I’m alone at home trying to take care of two sick children. He doesn’t… He has to be cheating. That’s the only explanation.”

“Levi… let’s go upstairs in my room so we can talk.”

“Like hell I want to go up there with you.”

“Levi, seriously.”

I sighed and got up cause what the fucking hell? If Eren is going to cheat then I should to. Our relationship doesn’t mean anything apparently! I bit my lip and tried to stop the tears that were already falling. We got to Erwin’s room and he sat me down on the bed. This was it. He was going to push me down and started fucking the pain out of me. That’s what I wanted him to do because if Eren can fuck up our relationship so can I.

Erwin didn’t do that though. He sat down in a chair after shutting the door and put his foot on his knee so he was sitting comfortably. “Start over, tell me what happened.”

“The kids got sick so I’ve been taking care of them for the past three days. I haven’t had any sleep and fucking Eren has only been home at night. He doesn’t do a fucking thing, but collapse in bed and fall asleep. He doesn’t even check on the kids. And then when the puke at night I’m the one who has to help them because he won’t get up and it’s not fucking fair. Why should I be doing everything?! Why… Why doesn’t he come home…? It’s always such random times… it’s like one minute he’s there and then the next he isn’t… it’s not fair… When he got home today we got in a fight about him not being home and then… I think he’s cheating… he didn’t even stop me from leaving. He even accused me of leaving him for you. Like… what the hell? What the fuck have I done to get that thrown in my face… It’s just not fair…” I curled up and started crying in my arms. I was pathetic. This wasn’t how I was supposed to be. I wasn’t supposed to be a mess like this. He made me this way and it just wasn’t right. He was shattering my heart and it didn’t even matter.

I felt Erwin sit down next to me and he began rubbing my back. “I’ll go make you some tea. Just cry it out and we’ll talk more, okay?”

I didn’t fucking care.

I didn’t even want tea. 

When he came back upstairs he held me close and gave me tea. It helped me calm down. His musky scent- maybe a new cologne- was nice. After I calmed down all the way, Erwin began talking. “Levi, he’s a police officer, right? He’s supposed to have irregular hours. You can’t control when crime is going to happen. And when he has overtime it just means that they’re understaffed or need more help. Do you honestly think Eren would cheat on you? He wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t. He’s not that type of guy and neither are you. You have two lovely children that need both their fathers to help them get better. You should just go home and calmly apologize for saying the things you did and then just tell him you need more help. Fighting doesn’t help, okay?”

I looked down and nodded. “Okay.” I knew I overreacted. I knew Eren was trying his best with helping me. I knew he didn’t mean the things he said. We never did when we were angry. I should have acted more rational. I shouldn’t be like this. I’ve changed so much and I didn’t know if it was for better or for worse. I handed Erwin back the empty cup and washed my face. I thanked him and Armin for letting me into their home and got my shoes back on. Right, I was the strong one. I was the adult in the relationship. I should be the one to right this, not him. It wasn’t his fault. I knew his hours were going to be messed up when he first said he wanted to do it. I shouldn’t have lashed out. I had to apologize to him and my kids. It was ridiculous that Erwin was the one to knock some sense into me. All it took was for him to give me his guidance. I trusted him. No matter what he’s done to me or what I’ve done to him, I would always trust his guidance. He hardly ever failed.

~~~

I got home at nine o’clock and was instantly greeted by small children holding onto my shirt.

“Daddy! Daddy! I’m sorry! Please, stay!” They cried, sniffled and coughed at once.

“Get back in bed, little ones. I’m not going anywhere.” I scooped them both up and walked to Ellise’s room first and set her down before going to Oliver’s room and setting him down. I kissed his head and tucked him in before going to Ellise’s room and doing the same to her. As I left their hallway I told them they would see me in the morning. When I walked in the living room I stopped and looked at the place. It was spotless. I walked to our bedroom and saw Eren sleeping a fitful sleep. I sighed and sat down next to him. “Idiot, you didn’t even cover up.” I shook him awake.

He opened his eyes and looked over at me before sitting up then looking at me. His eyes widened and he pushed me down on the bed and kissed me deeply. He leaned away and started crying. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know I’ve been neglecting you and everyone, but I really am trying. Don’t think I’m not. I’m trying to make this work. I’m trying to make sure that I don’t fuck anything up. I want to support us and when I saw the kids sick I thought I’d take some over time to make up for you not being at work since we live from pay check to pay check and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Levi. Please, forgive me. Please. I’ll-”

“Shut the hell up, Eren. I’m not mad anymore. I’m sorry I lashed out on you. I was just frustrated and I’m exhausted. I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry I accused you of cheating.” I kissed his head and held him close.

“…I’m sorry I said that to you… I know Erwin is a bad topic… and I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m sorry too.” Eren looked down at me.

I smiled and kissed him gently before pushing him back over so I could lay on him. “You didn’t have to clean the house.”

“I thought that’s what you were mad about… so I wanted to help out.”

“Just… if you’re going to work overtime then tell me, brat. And I would appreciate some help when you’re not on work. I get tired too you know.” I smiled and nuzzled his tan chest. He was so warm. I wanted him to wrap his limbs around me. I hummed out happily when he did.

“I’ll try harder, Levi. I promise I won’t rely completely on you.”

“Thank you.” I kissed him again before closing my eyes, “I love you, Eren, with all my heart.”

“I love you too.” Eren kissed my head. “I’m never letting you go.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

I smiled and fell asleep. I could feel my heart repairing itself. For such a stupid misunderstanding, I completely fell apart. I blame the exhaustion and stress. It’s not like I normally acted this way. I didn’t really deserve Eren, but damn was he not leaving. I felt safe in his arms. I felt like I could conquer the world.

~~~

The kids got better at the end of the week and everything was as normal as it could be. We were a happy healthy family and for that I was thankful for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry this is late! I really have no excuse. :(
> 
> 11 more chapters to go.


	56. Parenting: Ages 11/9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _That's my daughter!_  
>  -Levi

Chapter 56

“Oliver, you know you have to go to your sister’s dance contests.” I sighed as I drove us to Ohio. Ellise was in the running for nationals and we were really proud of her. Nationals were today, March 27. Luckily it was just two days and it was on a weekend so I didn’t miss work. Eren told them he couldn’t work this week- thank god. Of course, that argument happened a year ago and it was pretty much in the past. We were borrowing Jean’s SUV. Eren and I were up front, Ellise and Oliver were in the two middle seats and in the far back was Erwin, Hanji and Armin. 

“But, dad, it’s so far away…”

“You know, one day we’ll have to go to your national games.” I tried to offer the idle chit chat in the back making it hard to talk to him.

“Yeah, if the team was better…”

“Oliver, they are all trying their best just like you do.”

“Humpf. I don’t see it. They don’t even practice after practice.”

I sighed and turned to Eren, “You want to give him a pep talk? You know I suck at that kind of thing.”

“Uh, sure. You know you’re a lot more competitive and love the sport a lot more than the other kids. You just have to be patient with them. They’ve been trying their hardest to win just like you have. And you know what? Maybe we can find a different team for you? You’re still pretty young though so not everyone will be as motivated as you.”

“It’s not fair.” He huffed and looked to the side.

“There’s a girl in my dance class who gets mad at the teacher because she keeps yelling at her but then she never does anything to work towards getting better. So, maybe the people on your team just don’t want to put in the effort?” Ellise pipped up.

Oliver sighed and leaned back. “You still get to go to nationals.”

“Yeah, but we’re competing as solos and a group. I’m in the solo and group.”

“What’s your dance about this week, Ellise?” Eren asked turning to look at them from his seat.

“The group is about people trying to make you look like them, but you don’t want to look like them and my solo is about getting stronger and stronger until you reached the top.” Ellise explained happily. Each dance normally has a story to it so the dancers could get an emotion out of it. I found that it was a lot of work. Actually, I felt both interests my children participated in were a lot of work that didn’t count for much, but I still wanted to support them to the best of my capabilities. Ellise is now dancing with a team that does all sorts of dances. She isn’t just my pretty ballerina anymore. She can do most of the basic moves to every genre of music. It made me happy to see her learn a new trick. They both work so hard and I was glad that they were so dedicated. I wanted them to succeed and never give up on their dreams.

“Oh! That sounds so good.” Eren smiled big and gave her a high five. “I love how they’re putting good morals to your dances.”

“Yeah! But… the tricks are hard… what if I fall?”

“Deep breaths and if you fall then you fall. No one will be mad at you, okay?”

“But… my teacher is really strict…”

“Yeah, but she won’t yell at you or anything.” Eren tried to calm her down. It was probably good that she was getting her nervousness out now because we were getting close to our destination.

“But… what if she does?”

“Then daddy will tell her off.”

“What will daddy say?!”

“That she’s a b-”

“Levi! Language!”

I glared over at him and shook my head. “I was going to say she’s a bad person. Gosh, you have no faith in me.”

Eren chuckled and kissed my cheek. “I have all the faith in the world in you.”

“Bullshit.”

Erwin laughed, “You guys get on each other’s nerves. We’re not going to make it through this trip.”

“We have to! I have to dance!” Ellise cried and crossed her arms.

We laughed and got in the parking lot. “Okay, we’re here. Eren, you’ll meet us in the audience right?”

“Yeah! Okay, Ellise, grab your stuff and you’re coming with me. We’ll find your team’s dressing room. Everyone else, go with Levi to our seats!” Eren jumped out.

We all piled out of the van and I took Oliver’s hand and led the rest of our friends into the huge gym. We sat down in our seats and waited for things to start. Dance competitions normally took forever to get through, but they were entertaining. At least to the adults. Oliver thought they were the worst things in the world. 

Erwin smiled and held Armin’s hand as he leaned close to him. It was odd being friends with a guy you spent most of your life with. It was even odder seeing him be in so much love with someone else and be okay with it.

Hanji took Oliver to go walk around. Good, as long as she wasn’t bugging me then I wasn’t going to complain. It was Oliver’s problem now. Aunty Hanji needs to see her nephew sometime. Besides, Eren took her place.

It was awhile before Ellise came on stage, but when she did she looked beautiful. She was in this golden armor that made her look so much tougher than she actually was. She began to dance around to the music and I was swept away immediately. I could feel the energy running through me. I held Eren’s hand and just watched. I could feel how confident she was. She was going to win. She was going to make sure of that.

“She’s good.” Eren whispered in my ear.

“Yeah… She’s… beautiful.” It was then that I realized that I didn’t want her to grow up. She was already nine. I didn’t want Oliver to grow up anymore either. He was eleven and soon he was going to be a teenager. That was going to have so many struggles. Boyfriends, girlfriends, high school, puberty. I wouldn’t be able to take it. I didn’t want them to graduate high school. I didn’t want them to move out and get married and have their own kids. I wanted them to stay my little boy and girl forever and hold them close. They were growing up too fast.

“…Levi… what’s wrong?” Eren asked me as he leaned up to wipe away my tears.

I shook my head. “Nothing… she’s just so beautiful.” She was going to get a boyfriend in no time and that scared me. What if he was abusive? What if he got her pregnant? What if they didn’t last? What if he loved her more than me? What if she loved him more than me? What if she ends up hating me? This was too much, but not enough. I was confused on what I wanted. I wanted them to grow up and be happy, but I also wanted to keep them close and make sure they never get hurt. It wasn’t fair. I wanted both.

Eren chuckled and rested his head on my shoulder. “I know… I don’t want her to grow up either… but you know they have to. They have to find someone they can love and cherish too. They deserve all the happiness in the world. I can’t wait to see them graduate. I can’t wait to cry with you then and when they get married. It’ll be okay though because I’ll be with you and you’ll be with me.” Eren was so very wrong, but I didn’t question it then. I just believed him.

“Okay, okay… as long as you’re with me… I think I can handle it.” I held his hand more and leaned against him. I wanted to hold my family close, and we would be close, just not as close as we were now. I think I’d be okay witht that. Life has to go on eventually. I watched as Ellise walked off the stage. We rose and clapped our hands, Hanji scaring the living fuck out of me when she screamed a victorious “yahoo” towards Ellise with Oliver by her side. 

Eren rushed to get back stage with Ellise so he could help her change into her next costume.

I blushed when I realized Erwin was looking at me. He leaned forward and wiped my tears away. “You’re a lot more emotional since you’ve met Eren.”

“Shut up.” I chuckled looking up at him.

“I’m happy you’re happy, Levi.”

“You’re a lot more sentimental since you met Armin.” I mocked back, rolling my eyes up at him.

He rolled his eyes back and hit me gently on the back of my head. “You ruin the moment.”

“Don’t I always?”

He pushed me gently and shook his head. “You better not do that to Eren. He’s not exactly the moment making type.”

“Trust me, I know. He just runs on his emotions and expects everyone else to feel the same.” That was one of the reasons why I loved him. When he got in the right mood he could be so demanding and I loved it. 

Armin held onto Erwin’s arm and glared at me. I guess he still didn’t trust Erwin around me fully. That’s probably a good thing. I wouldn’t trust Erwin either. He wasn’t a cheater or a bad guy. He was just loyal to me. We were loyal to each other. That’s what best friends were. I could see how Armin would be cautious about us being together. We didn’t exactly know how to be friends around each other. We probably came across as flirting.

We sat back down when the next performer came on stage. I could hear Oliver complaining and I smiled. Yeah, teenage years were going to be interesting.

Awhile later, Eren came back and Ellise’s group came on stage. Ellise turned out to be the main dancer. She kept running away from the people who had white fabric over their faces to make them all look the same. In the end, Ellise ripped the fabric that was placed on her face off and the other girls ran off the stage, leaving Ellise to stand there with an outstretched hand for the last couple seconds of the song.

It was beautiful. I couldn’t wait for the awards. They had to win. They just had to. I only got excited with their songs. Awards were handed out tomorrow. It was going to be hell waiting for them.

Ellise met us in the audience and Erwin gave her a big bouquet from him and Armin. “You’re did awesome.” 

I swear Erwin should be a parent and not me. He was so good with children. I bet I was doing this all wrong. I blushed when I felt Eren come up beside me and kiss my cheek.

“I got her one too.” Eren whispered and handed me the bouquet behind our backs. I smiled and shook my head as I gave it to Ellise.

“You were so pretty on stage. I loved it.” I kissed her head and then sighed. “Okay, shall we go to the hotel?”

“Yeah! I want to go swimming!” Oliver said and started to lead us out quickly. If I were him, I wouldn’t want to be here any longer either.

We piled in the van again and I drove us to the hotel. We got there and went up to our room to put our stuff down, Ellise having the most. Dance was expensive. She had to have all this stuff plus the classes. I wasn’t expecting that when we first agreed. We all got dressed for the pool and went downstairs to the main floor to swim in the indoor pool. It was pretty nice.

Around dinner time, Erwin, Hanji and Armin took the kids out for dinner to give us alone time.

I slid down into the hot tub and sighed out. “This is so fucking nice.”

“Heh, Levi, you sound so sweet when we’re with the kids, but as soon as they’re gone you talk like a sailor.” Eren slid down next to me and kissed my cheek.

“Yeah, so?”

“So, I think that’s cute.” Eren smiled and pulled me close to start massaging my shoulders.

“Oh, holy fuck. That feels wonderful.”

Eren hummed and pulled me closer. “You’re going to worry yourself to the grave.”

“Yeah, I know.” I hummed and leaned against him. “Maybe you should do something about it.”

“How come it’s always my fault?”

“I wasn’t saying that. I was saying maybe you should help me relieve some of this stress.” I looked up at him with a smirk.

He blushed and nodded. “Oh… uh… yeah… do you even remember how to do that?”

“Yeah. Of course. It’s not that hard. You’re just moving your hips.”

“…Okay…” Eren got up and I chased him all the way to the room.

~~~

We got to the awards ceremony. All the contestants were on stage while Armin, Erwin, me, Eren, Hanji and Oliver were in the audience. This was so nerve wracking. I was just waiting to hear her name. And then I heard it.

“With a score of 287, is constant number 27 with the song “Stronger”.” The announcer said.

Ellise gasped and jumped up and shook his hand before taking the trophy. She told him the dance company she danced for before sitting back down.

Eren and I whistled obnoxiously and then quieted down to hear about the ground. Come on, two wins was all that we needed. If we could go home with that, then she would be a national winner. She would have motivation to do it next year. I hadn’t realized I started biting my nails until Eren slapped my hand away.

“In first place, group umber 78 with “No One like you.” 

I would have jumped out of my seat if Eren hadn’t pulled me back down. He glared at me and shook his head. “What?”

“Don’t embarrass her.”

I didn’t care. She won. They won. She worked so hard for this and it paid off in the end. I was so proud of her. I was proud of both my children and it wasn’t because they won, but because they worked so hard to get there. They were really the best kids I ever dreamed of having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to be here on Friday because I'm going to Ohayocon, so I decided to update it now. There will be another update next Friday (21st). So stay tuned!


	57. Parenting: Ages 12/10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oliver's first fight. ;)_  
>  -Levi

Chapter 57

_I love the color white because it’s as pale as your soft skin._

~~~

I cursed as I walked into the school. I got called into the office. Honestly, what the hell did Oliver do? This is the first time he’s ever gotten in this amount of trouble. At twelve years old he should know what we expect from him. Our rules aren’t that hard. Just don’t get in serious trouble at school and keep your grades decent. We don’t ask for much. I walked into the office only to stare at him with wide eyes. “…What happened?!”

He looked up at me, an icepack pressed to one side of his face. “Hey, dad… I’m fine…”

I walked over to him and knelt down pulling the icepack away from his face so I could see the damage. I tilted his head up and nodded. “Nothing too serious.” I turned to the principal and tilted my head. “Do you know what happened?”

“No one is talking. They were in science and the teacher stepped out to make copies and when she got back Oliver and this other boy was on the ground.” She sighed and ran her hand through her long chestnut hair. “I can’t get either one of them to talk…”

I turned to Oliver and sighed, “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“This doesn’t look like nothing.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and looked away. “Well, it is.”

“Oliver Yeager, I will not accept that attitude. If you don’t want to tell me that much then politely tell me that.”

“God, you’re so annoying…”

“Oliver.” I hissed and glared at him. Oliver had changed in the past year. He was still a big volleyball player, but he was taking a more different approach to fashion. His volleyball jersey was replaced with band t-shirts and a leather jacket. His red shorts changed to black skinny jeans. His hair was cut short to where he only had a strip of hair going from the back of his head up to his forehead.

He sighed and got up, grabbing his messenger bag. “Let’s just go.”

“You can’t go until you tell me what happened.” The principal informed him and crossed her arms.

“It’s stupid. It was nothing.”

“Oliver, I get you think it’s nothing, but you hurt Damien pretty bad. He had to be sent to the hospital. You need to tell me what happened.”

“…” Oliver looked to the side before flopping back down in his chair. “He insulted my family, so I told him to shut up and then he said that I couldn’t do anything about and that’s when I punched him and then he punched me. I wrapped my leg around him so he would fall on the ground so I could just hold him there until the teacher came back, but then his head hit the table instead and that is all that happened because the teacher came in. There, happy?” Oliver got all this out in one big breath before getting up and walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“What’s his punishment?” I asked not wanting to be here any longer than he did.

“He has an in school suspension for two weeks. He’ll be given his work there.”

“Alright.”

“Mr. Yeager, I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.”

To be honest, I wasn’t. Of course I would go home and we’d have a talk, but it was an accident. If what he said was true then he was in the right, in my opinion. I wasn’t going to tell her that though. Principals had power. They could do anything the wanted- including calling child services to give us a random inspection. Erwin had to do it once when he saw Krista limping. Turns out her father had abused her. We wouldn’t get our children taken away, but it still would be really annoying. “I am. I just want to get him home so I can talk to him in private. He’s never done anything like this before, so I will punish him accordingly to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Alright. You may go.”

Damn right I may go. I wanted to say it to her, but I just turned and walked out of the room. I closed the door and looked at Oliver, who instantly flinched. I signaled for him to follow and we walked out to the car. I got in the driver’s seat and started driving us home. “So… you’re first fight.”

“...” Oliver looked out the window and didn’t respond for a while until he asked quietly, “Are you mad?” Between Eren and me, I was the scary one when I was mad. The kids found it out the hard way when I was the one to discipline them.

“No. It was an accident, right?”

“Yeah…”

“You know fighting is wrong and that’s not how you solve conflicts, right?”

“Yeah…”

“And you know how annoying it is for me to leave work early?”

“Yeah…”

“Then no, I’m not mad.” 

“But I got in a fight…” He said and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Over something you can’t control. What was he saying about us?” I thought I could guess, but I wanted to make sure. I wanted to handle this situation properly. I didn’t want to fuck up my children’s life just because of the choices and fates of Eren and me.

Oliver looked away from me, “He was just saying how I didn’t have a real family because you were both guys and how I was a reject because I was adopted…”

I glanced over at him before looking back at the road. “Do you believe him?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Then don’t worry about it. You know what I say? Fuck the people who don’t accept you. Your life may have ups and downs, but you know what? It’ll be okay eventually. Don’t let anyone make your life hell just because of shit you can’t control. Have some confidence in yourself.”

Oliver’s eyes widened and he looked at me. “You… said a lot of bad words.”

Fuck. I hadn’t meant to. “Umm… yeah… sorry… I got really defensive about it. I hadn’t meant to in front of you.”

“No… I just… umm… it makes you seem more real…”

“Huh?” I gave him a confused look before looking back at the road.

“Well… to be honest… you’re like this very intimidating person… and… even dad is scared of you. I thought you were just this perfect being… but then you have this cussing problem. I mean… you have a cleaning problem too… but I don’t know… I guess this just proves that you’re a… cool person.”

_“What the fuck do you mean, Eren?” I hissed in our cell._

_“You’re not… like a machine everyone thinks you are… you have all these emotions and opinions all bottled up in you and… you just store that all away so the rest of us can be brave with you. I guess… this just probes you’re a badass.” Eren panted from his bed, covered in cum and sweat._

_I blushed and my heart pounded. I smiled and leaned down to kiss him deeply before leaning away. “Get cleaned, brat.”_

_“Yes, corporal.”_

I smiled and stored the past memory in my mind to tell Hanji about it later. I parked the car in our garage and turned off the engine. I turned to Oliver and ruffled his almost non-existent hair. “You have in school suspension for two weeks. So, do your work and keep your grades up and I won’t be mad.”

“Okay… Don’t forget to pick up Ellise in an hour.” Bless this child. I wouldn’t have forgot, but it was nice to be reminded.

“Hey, Oliver.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Oliver looked over at me and shook his head. “Not the right time to be lovey-dovey, dad.”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “Go inside and keep the ice to your face.” We walked into the house and I made him an after school snack. I went and got Ellise and in a couple hours, Eren came home just in time for dinner. We ate then went out in the yard to play around until going back inside and letting them shower. They got ready for bed, and Eren and I went to take our own shower.

“I can’t believe he got into a fight today.”

“It was over us, you know. We can’t really punish him for sticking up for us.” I said as I started to wash his back. I felt like I hadn’t touched him in a while and the urge to do so. My hands started to creep down to where his ass was. I licked my lips and leaned in to kiss his shoulder.

“I know… but… I don’t know… I feel bad he has to put up with that.” Eren sighed before looking back at me and blushing. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” I muttered and ran my hands across his hips and sliding down to grip his length. “I just… really want to touch you. Is that okay?”

Eren blushed and looked away. “Yeah.”

He was so fucking adorable. I started to stroke his length and kiss and bite around his neck. “Can I get a little rough with you?”

Eren moaned and put his hands on the wall. “Yeah, please, master… I like it rough.”

I let out a groan and started to bite hard and scratch down his back. If he liked it so much then I was going to give it to him. I took my hand away from his length and flipped him over and pressed him against the wall. I started biting his neck harshly, causing him to gasp out. I started sliding my nails down his torso. He was mine. He was all fucking mine and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Fuck. I need him.

“Ah, Levi… are you making me into a pretty picture?”

I moaned and went down on my knees to bite and suck on his stomach. I wanted him to be covered in my marks. I wanted the whole world to know that he was mine. I wanted him to know he was mine. It was like the string of restraint had been broken and I was completely going crazy. He moaned loudly when I slid my lips around his length, his hands gripping my hard harshly.

“Fuck, Corporal… fuck… can I fuck your mouth? Please? I want to hear you gag…” 

I don’t know if Eren knew what he was saying, but I honestly didn’t care. I was getting more and more turned on the more he talked. I let go of his hips and looked up at him giving him silent permission to do so. 

He started thrusting in my mouth. He was going so fast I couldn’t keep up with him. I was gagging, but I didn’t care. Tears slid down my cheeks, but I didn’t care. It felt too good. My hand went down and started to stroke myself causing me to moan around him. He was going crazy. I didn’t think he could last much longer. “Mmm…” My hands went up to the back of his legs and slid my nails down them.

“Ah! Fuck!” Eren hissed before bringing a hand up to his mouth to bite so his moans and cries were more muffled.

I stopped his hips and leaned away so I could breathe, my hand picking up the slack. I panted and looked up at him with a lustful look.

“C-Corporal…” He muffled and looked back down at me before taking his hand away. “I-I’m going to cum…”

I smirked and slid my lips around him once more. I was glad that I was the one who was the one giving Eren all this pleasure. I was glad I was the one to live my life with him. I was happy that he was happy with me. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but it sure as hell wasn’t dysfunctional. It was that perfect marriage every couple wants. We had that. My heart was racing the more I thought about how so fucking perfect we were.

My eyes widened when his hot cum slid down my throat. I jerked away and coughed spitting out most of his release. He slid down to sit down next to me. He started stroking me and kissing me deeply. I wrapped my arms around him and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He was the only one I ever wanted to be with. Forever seemed like such a long time. I never wanted to give him up. I never wanted to leave him. We were going to stay together forever if I had anything to do with it. I was so high on our love that I came in no time.

We washed each other off before getting out of the shower and getting dried off. We each put on boxers before crawling into bed. He rested his head on my chest and pulled me close. 

“Levi?”

“Yeah?” I asked him sleepily and nuzzling his hair.

“I love you. Please, promise to always be with me.”

“I promise. I love you too, Eren.”

“Even after death?”

“Even after death.”

Eren smiled and nuzzled me before kissing my chest. “You know, I think my favorite color is pink.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re blush is a really light pink and I love it.” He beamed brightly. I shook my head at his shenanigans. He was such a brat, but… I wouldn’t want him any differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> 9 chapters left!


	58. Parenting: Ages 12/10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I can't write the next chapter._  
>  -Levi
> 
>  _I'm writing the next chapter...I'm the only one who can..._  
>  -Oliver

Chapter 58

_I love how well you take care of the kids. Thank you for everything you do._

~~~

I sat down at the piano, Eren next to me. We had the night to ourselves. Thirteen year old, Oliver was sleeping over at a friend’s house, and eleven year old, Ellise was at Erwin and Armin’s house for a sleepover as well. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Levi, I really do want to. You know I love all your songs. Especially since you write them all so beautifully.” Eren smiled and kissed my cheek before ruffling my hair. He leaned against me and chuckled. “So, play your song, old man.”

“Hush. I’m only forty-two.”

“Heh, still older than me.”

“Hush, twenty-five year old.” I rolled my eyes. Such a brat. It was really weird how in only eight years Eren had progressed so much. He learned to read and write, passed the GED, got into college, passed college, got his dream job, got married, had kids. It was so much and yet I feel like his life has just started. When Oliver is eighteen he will only be thirty. I was so proud of him and yet… I felt so old compared to him. “Do you want to hear this or not?”

“I do! I do!”

I sighed and placed my fingers on the keys and started playing pretty quickly, “My desire is to see this through. In the world there is no one else like you. So, let’s take a chance we can make it last.” I glanced over at him and smiled. He was so gorgeous. He was the light to my world. He was everything I could ever want. I wanted to do so much with him. I wanted to cry at Oliver’s graduation together. I wanted to cry with him when Oliver gets into college. I want to cry with him when Ellise does both things. I want to cry with him at their weddings. We’ve done so much, and yet we haven’t done enough. I wanted to make sure we did it all. While I was still on earth, I wanted to make sure that I could at least make this one human being happy.

Eren smiled up at me and hugged me closer. He seemed so happy just to sit here and listen to me all day.

My fast hands slowed a little and I took in a breath, “The moment I look deep in your eyes my visions going hazy and all I see is you. It doesn’t matter if this dream comes true. From the start somehow you’ve touched my heart.” And that meant from before this life and this one. Each time Eren has pushed through my cold exterior and set a fire to my heart to make me passionate once more. To make me love once more. He was such a blessing and a tragedy all at once.

Eren blushed and squealed quietly in his hands. He was losing and I knew he loved every minute of this. He wouldn’t keep still. He was just so damn excited that I would just write this about him.

“Shyly, I turn away. There’s a part of me that’s insecure to reach out. But if my feelings grew it would show, but I want you to know.” I stretched out the ‘know’ and glanced at him again to see his reaction. He was on the edge of his seat. His eyes were lit up and dazzling. He had these happy tears welling in his eyes. This was the first love song I’ve ever written. It was dedicated to him. “My desire is to see this through. In the world there is no one else like you. Let’s create a path to a happy end.” I kissed his lips quickly before smiling at him, “Though it’s scary I won’t give up. You’re the one filling me with hope that I can trust. Shining like a light, surely you’re the only object of my life.”

The tears fell down his cheeks as he smiled big at me. I loved seeing him like this. It made me think that I was doing my job. It made me think that I was just as perfect for him as he was for me. I smiled and slid closer to him.

“Happily, let’s face a future without strife.” I finished the song with a couple more keys before leaning away. “That’s all I got so far.”

“You were singing a different song too. Let me hear that too! Please, Levi.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and nuzzled my neck. “Please.”

“Okay, okay. You have to sit back though. I can’t play with you like this.” He was so fucking adorable. I really had no idea what I was going to do with him. “This one is more about our past lives. So… keep that in mind since the lyrics are a little weird.”

“Okay.” Eren nodded and leaned back and watched my hands as they landed on the keys.

As soon as I started playing, I started singing, “Oh, hey, my friend, behold this victory. This is the first Gloria. Oh, hey, my friend, let’s toast this victory for the next battle.” I started picking it up a little. I wanted him to know how much I really thought of us- which was often. “Won't let you say they died in vain. We will fight on to be free now, and I'll be the hero. Fighting we clash with forces barbaric, they may be large, but we will attack them.”

Eren smiled and chuckled, wiping at his eyes. 

“Two swords in hand, we carry on, as we sing Gloria! We bear the wings of freedom as we fly high. With vows etched upon our very souls, we will not falter here. We cut through the madness, and we touch the sky. We soar into the blue, upon the wings of freedom.” My fingers were working the keys to the sounds I wanted and I was loving it. I always loved playing the piano. It calmed me down and I was having fun. It wasn’t a thing I go to so I can talk about my pessimistic feelings. It was something I went to so I could create something beautiful. Is where here to make Eren happy. “Don't the birds break out of their shell, to fly in the sky and not in a cell? Not to crawl pathetically, or trade freedom for the chains. Why do you have wings such as these? It means nothing when you're not free. The sky it looks too small in this cage. I'll break free and fly high away! Freedom is, as death is. They're both two sides of the same coin. Freedom or death, it's your choice. Choose one to be your ally.”

Eren was getting fired up. I could tell by how his eyes showed an entirely different emotion. It showed pride. The scouting legion days were his glory days.

“For what reason were we born into this cruel world, why are we here now? I don't know the answer to complicated questions such as these. Even if it were true, that being here right now was just a mistake. I know there is a reason, we're standing here right now, and we're alive with the key, to live being free, our presence is not in vain.” I smiled over at him. Eren was always the key to survival. He was the one titan that we needed most. He held the key that we needed most. We were the ones who made sure everyone still had hope at the end of the day. Humanity’s strongest and humanity’s last hope. Who would have thought that those titles would be the end of us? I honestly couldn’t think about anything else though. Every memory I got back from those times was like another memory I got to have with Eren.

Eren kissed my cheek quickly so he wouldn’t mess me up. He was so adorable. I couldn’t get over him. I simply couldn’t get over him. He was the one person who was able to steal my heart forever.

After a long instrumental, I began to sing again, “The wings of freedom. The hidden truth will be like an arrow, slaughtering titans far beyond the walls. Piercing the darkness, taking our pride back. Lurking through shadows by night, we fight. The previous hope that slips through our fingers, through all the pain and loss we endure. Let's nevertheless march, towards the freedom that is there. Left way, right way, which one's correct? Tell me! Ally or foe, which one are you? Tell me.” I remembered doubting Eren. I remember not being able to trust him because of his erratic behavior and how he seemed like more of a titan than a human. I had called him a monster. In the end, I wasn’t completely wrong.  
He chuckled and hit my side. “No fair. I can’t control that now.”

“Two swords in hand, we carry on, as we sing Gloria. We sing the song of hope and freedom we bear. With chains linking hearts into the world, we play a song of this, the outcomes that lurk within the night. We dance into the sky, upon the wings of freedom.” This was my tribute to our past life. I was making peace with it. I just wanted to focus on the present now. I didn’t want to focus on the past. Especially when I have Eren right here and now. After this song was over I would never have another dream about our past life ever again. My red string of fate was about to be cut once more, but that’s getting ahead of myself.

“Oh, hey my friend, behold this victory. This is the first Gloria. Oh, hey my friend, let's toast this victory, for the next fight-- Fighting, bring it on, we'll give it our best, flying on wings of freedom.” I wished the song and panted. It was a fast song and my fingers were hurting from how hard I was pressing down on the keys. I got over zealous with that. Maybe I am getting too old for all of this.

Eren clapped and wrapped his arms around me. “That was great, Levi! Do you want a glass of water? I’ll get you some.” He jumped up and ran into the kitchen before I could stop him.

I smiled and shook my head. I was glad he was so concerned about me. I was glad that we could live in this time together. It was like we were given this special gift of having another life together. I hoped we wished for unlimited lives together. I wouldn’t mind meeting Eren again and again in different lives just as long as we got to be with each other in the end.

Eren came back with my water and handed it to me. “There you go, master.” His collar was displayed visibly around his neck, a sight I didn’t get to see often now. I was happy he put it there instead of on his wrist when the kids weren’t around. 

“Thank you, puppy.” I downed it before looking at him. “Someone is more happy than normal today.”

“That’s because you got to sing me songs! I like it when you do.” He blushed and looked to the side, shuffling a bit. “I like you’re voice. It’s like velvet.”

“Thank you. I love you’re outfit today, by the way.” Today, Eren went with more feminine clothes. He was wearing a long sleeved white sweater with a pink heart in the middle with black jeans. In his hair was a white bow. He was probably wearing it because he knew how much I loved it when he wore cutesy things. He just looked too adorable in them. For him, I was wearing a white tank top with a band logo on it (even though it was fall and way too cold for this) and black jeans that had holes in the knees. I hadn’t got out my club outfits since I had given complete ownership of the Chain to Erwin. It was a decision I thought was best given that I had children now. It was sad to watch it go, but I don’t regret the decision.

“I knew you would like it. I picked it out just for you.” He turned this way and that then turned to me. “Just don’t let the kids see me in this. I would die of embarrassment.”

“All kinky shit will only be in front of our eyes, not theirs.” I promised him and got up and kissed him gently. “Now go pick out some movies and I’ll get some snacks and sodas. We’ll start our day off now.”

“Okay.” Eren sat down on our couch and turned on our TV and started going through Netflix.

I grabbed a family sized chip bag and six chocolate cupcakes that didn’t have icing on them. I put them on the coffee table before getting two cans of pop. I set those on the coaster and joined Eren on the couch, him laying down and me draped over him as I watched him go through different movies.

After a while of him not knowing which one to pick, I picked a scary movie. We had changed to sitting side by side, me holding Eren. It was good for a while until predictable jump scares started occurring and Eren would jump into my lap each time. By the end, he was shaking and clinging to me. “No more scary movies… please, master…”

“No more. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would get so scared by them.” I tried to offer my sympathy to him. I actually hadn’t meant to scare him. I actually didn’t think it was that scary of a movie, but he did and for that I felt bad.

“Let’s watch a comedy next…” He suggest and went to the comedy section.

Comedy was my least favorite movie genre, but after getting terrified, Eren probably needed something to lighten his mood so I watched a stupid comedy about sex and cheating or something like that when really it was all a misunderstanding. It wasn’t that good. I gave it a two star review, but it seemed to calm Eren down so it did it’s job.

“Hey, let’s write a book about our lives!” Eren said randomly during our third movie.

“Heh, why?”

“So, we could post it online and it might get tons of comments and likes!” 

“Wouldn’t it be too long?”

“Not at all! I mean… to be honest… I’ve already written a lot of our life. It’s on my flashdrive upstairs… when I got bored during the beginning of our relationship.” Eren blushed and looked to the side. “I haven’t had much time since we had the kids… but... yeah… I do have probably half our relationship down.”

I smiled and kissed him gently. “Then we shouldn’t let that go to waste. Okay, I have this account on this website that we can put it on. We could like update it every Friday or at least try to and just see what people say.”

“Yeah this is going to be so cool!” Eren beamed up at me and in that moment I vowed that I would write about our lives and finish the story of our life. If I died first then as long as Eren was happy I wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t write about us and fell for someone else. I knew that if I were to watch him die, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. And maybe that’s a little selfish, but my whole life is Eren. I couldn’t see myself being the same way without him.

“You’re the cutest, you know that?” I ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek.

“I know, master!” He smiled and nuzzled me.

“Ready to continue the third movie?” When he nodded excitedly, I hit ‘play’.

~~~

When we went to bed that night, freshly showered and dressed, we ended up cuddling, his head on my chest and arms wrapped around each other.

“Levi…?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

I smiled and kissed him gently before leaning back. “I love you too.”

“Like more than everything, master.”

“Heh, yeah. Get some sleep.”

“Okay.” He closed his beautiful eyes and I just laid there listening to him breath. It was so peaceful and I couldn’t ask for a better night to finish off our alone time. I would have to thank Erwin and Armin for taking Ellise later. This really was one of the best days I have ever had with Eren. I would change it for the world. I wouldn’t change this life for the world. I loved him too much. We loved each other way too much for there to be a better life, in my opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song Levi sings is the second opening to Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. And then the second song he sings is the second opening to Attack on Titan. :) I hope you guys liked it. We only have 8 chapters left. Who's ready for it to end? *not me*


	59. I'm Sorry, Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _My first chapter... my one and only chapter... I will caution you... it's not exactly the happiest._  
>  -Oliver

Chapter 59

-Oliver-

When my friend’s mom dropped me off at my house I knew something was off. For some reason, I had this feeling like I was about to get devastating news. I walked up to the house and scratched an itch on the back of my head as my messenger bag bumped against my leg with every step. You know how everyone says the morning your life is about to change you’ll know? Well, I didn’t. I walked in and saw my eleven year old playing with Barbie’s. She was still in that weird stage where she wasn’t a kid anymore, but still clung to her kid toys. “Did you enjoy staying at Uncle Erwin and Armin’s house?”

“Yeah…”

She didn’t look at me or anything which was weird. “…What’s wrong then?”

“D-D…” She sniffled and ran to me crying. “Daddy…he… daddy…”

My eyes widened and I knew something was wrong. I tore myself away from her and started looking throughout the house calling out their names. “Eren! Levi! Eren!” I opened and slammed each door I found that contained an empty room before… getting to my parent’s bedroom. I remembered once when I was ten I walked in on them doing it and after that I never went in when the door was shut. The door was cracked open. I could enter. But did I want to? Whatever behind that door was going to make everything final. This strange feeling was telling me to run. To hide and don’t look at what was behind the door. I was about to do just that when Levi walked out and into me.

His eyes widened before he cleared his voice.

My father was a proud man. He never cried in front of us. I’ve never seen him cry. He held us together. The four of us didn’t exactly get along, but he kept us together. I think if he wasn’t here at this moment, something bad would have happened to all three of us. He still wasn’t crying even now as he brought me to the couch. I sat down and looked at him. Something bad had happened. I remember thinking how I didn’t take off my boots at the front door. Levi would normally make me vacuum the floors for that, but… he wasn’t… he was just giving me this look. This look that said it all. He didn’t have to tell me what he was about to but he did anyways.

“…Oliver… there was a terrible accident.” He took my hands and knelt on the ground so we were eye level, “We have to keep our brave faces on. You know Eren does everything he can for the good of humanity. He always has. Well, sometimes the world just isn’t fair. This is one of those times. Eren was out chasing this guy. This guy stole from people’s houses and he ran from Eren for three blocks before… he shot at Eren… and…” He looked down and bit his lip. “…Eren didn’t make it.”

My eyes widened. What…? No… that’s not possible… I wasn’t supposed to see my parents’ deaths until I was old… One can’t die now… no… “No…stop… this isn’t funny…”

“I would never joke about this.”

“But he can’t. Not yet…”

Levi pulled me into his lap and stroked his hair. “I wish it wasn’t true… but… we have to be strong now. Eren wouldn’t want us to cry.”

“But… But…” I couldn’t control my tears.

I didn’t know why I was so sad. At the time, it didn’t connect in my mind that I would never see my father ever again. I would never hear his voice or see his smile. I would never wake up to him shaking me and dragging me out of bed. I’d never hear dad’s banter with Levi ever again. I would never get to talk to him about girls or sex. I would never get to see him cry at my graduation. I would never get to hear his last words. I don’t remember my last words to him. My life was a big blur. Age causes you to forget most of your childhood and I always enjoyed being with Levi more than Eren. I always had felt Levi could figure me out better. But I was wrong. I miss my dad. And I may be a little selfish while writing this chapter, but fuck it. I’m eighteen. I can write whatever the hell I want because dad can’t. I wouldn’t let him write this chapter. I couldn’t do that to him.

Ellise joined us somewhere in my crying and we clung to each other. Ellise was always with Eren. I wasn’t surprised by her reaction. She was still too young to really understand just like how I was, but she understood less. No one close to us has died. This was our first death.

When our tears dried, Levi carried us to our rooms and tucked us in. It was way too early for a nap and we were way too old for naps, but it didn’t matter. I think we all needed time alone. Time to mourn.

~~~

When I woke up that evening, I walked out to see Levi was making dinner. He didn’t look how he normally did. His eyes were lifeless. At the time I hadn’t known Levi had gone through this once before. I didn’t know how he was function. As a thirteen year old boy I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle all our family pictures hanging around the place. I walked up to one of them. Eren was on Levi’s back and we kids were throwing water balloons at each other. It was during the summer time when we had invited Erwin and Armin over for a cook out. I grabbed the picture and threw it down on the ground, smashing it to pieces. I regretted the moment I did it, but the funny thing was I didn’t give a fuck. I wanted it all gone. I wanted Eren out of my memory. I was breaking down all over again.

Levi ran to me before I could rip up the picture and took it away from me. He looked down at me and shook his head. “I know it fucking sucks, but that doesn’t give you the right to act up. Go sit on the couch while I clean this up.”

I looked at him before turning and slumping on the couch. This house was too painful. Eren was everywhere. I could see us all cuddling on the couch and watching cartoons or reading books to each other. I could see him in the kitchen trying to cook, but being shooed away by Levi. He would eventually come back and just wrap his arms around Levi and make it ten times harder to cook by clinging to him. Levi never complained though. It wasn’t fair.

I watched Levi clean up the glass and plastic before throwing it in the trashcan. He looked at the picture and for a moment I thought I saw tears in his eyes. I looked down and bit my lip. I didn’t considered how he felt. To me, it didn’t matter. He was the adult. He should be handling this better. I got up and walked outside. I got in the shed and grabbed a volleyball. I started hitting it against a wall and bumping it back to the wall. I had a mix of emotions running through me. Sadness, anger, loss. I took it out on the ball. I couldn’t be in that house. I couldn’t even be in this backyard. I walked back in and put my ball in a string bag before turning to Levi. “I’m going to the park.”

“You should eat dinner first.” He said as he poured rice in a pot. Teriyaki chicken with rice was Eren’s favorite.

“I’m not hungry.” I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I got my bike from the shed and started peddling to the park. I wanted to just keep peddling for eternity. I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to wake up. This had to be a bad dream. This couldn’t possibly be real. Eren… Eren couldn’t just be gone. I peddled faster, not even sure if I was going the right way. I just wanted to be okay. I didn’t want any of this to real. How could Levi still do anything while Eren was gone? I gripped my handlebars tighter and gritted my teeth. How could Ellise just go about playing with her dolls? Why wasn’t anyone else affected, but me? Why couldn’t I-

I hit a huge ass hole which made me go over my handlebars and slide down the sidewalk a little. My chin, knees and hands got busted up. I sniffled before sobbing. I put my head in my arms and whimpered. This just couldn’t be true.

“Oliver…?”

I stiffened before relaxing. It was Erwin. I looked up at him and wiped my eyes. He was in his car with Armin beside him. “…I…”

“What are you doing out here all alone?” Erwin asked looking around before getting out of the car after putting it in park. He helped me up and gave me a concerned look. “Is Levi and Eren fighting again?”

I looked down and shook my head. “...Eren… he…”

“What?”

“…Dad… isn’t… he’s not… he…” I started to get worked up all over again.

“You’re twenty minutes away from your house. Come on. Put your bike in the back and get in.” Erwin helped me do just that and before I knew it I was at home getting patched up by dad.

“Where’s Eren, Levi? Out on the job?” Armin asked happily looking around the room not noticing how both I and Levi stiffened.

“Eren is dead…” Levi whispered and continued to patch me up.

Armin’s eyes widened and he looked at Levi. “What…? I’m sorry… I didn’t hear you correctly…”

“Eren is dead.” Levi said a little louder which caused his voice to crack. 

I looked at Armin. Armin was dad’s best friend and I wanted him to cry. I wanted him to show me the pain that I felt. It wasn’t fair. Did Levi never love Eren? How could… How could he say that? Tears filled my eyes again and I pushed away from Levi and walked to the couch and curled up in it.

Armin just stared at Levi before his lip started to tremble. “Wha…how…? How…? When…?”

Levi looked away from them and bit his lip before releasing it. “He was running to get this thief and… he got shot… in the head… he died on impact. I found out right after you guys dropped Ellise off here.”

Erwin was by Levi’s side in a heartbeat. He wrapped his huge arms around my dad and pulled him close. “I’m sorry…”

The most messed up thing about this scene was that Erwin didn’t go to Armin, who was on his knees crying. He went to Levi. When I was little I always thought that was strange until I read this and found out about dad and Erwin’s past. I honestly think Armin doesn’t deserve Erwin.

Levi pushed him away and shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“Levi… It’s not fine…”

Levi looked to the side and crossed his arms. “If I say it is then it is.”

Erwin sighed and turned to Armin, kneeling down and pulling him close, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close, rubbing his back. “I’m sorry, babe…”

Armin clung to him and cried in his chest. “It shouldn’t have been him… It… It shouldn’t… have happened… why… why…? Not now… not when he was so happy…”

“He died happy, Armin. His life might have been cut short, but he had everything he could ever want in his life. Isn’t that the important thing?”

“…Yeah… I guess…”

“At least he wasn’t still angry with the world.”

“…I guess…” Armin didn’t sound alright. He sounded really whiny and nasally.

I didn’t know what to do in this situation. Adults weren’t supposed to cry. They were supposed to be big and strong. Armin was never like that, but for some reason I still expected him to. I expected him to not break down in front of me. I was wrong.

Eventually, Armin did calm down and Levi told Erwin he could put him in his room to sleep it off. Levi walked to the kitchen and proceeded to make dinner and Erwin looked at me.

“How are you?” He asked. We weren’t exactly close. Armin was more of the kid friendly person. Erwin gave me weird vibes and I didn’t exactly like him. He seemed too… grown-upy. 

“…I just… don’t get it…”

Erwin sighed and rubbed his neck. “When someone dies, they-”

“I get that part… but… did dad ever love Eren? I mean…” I looked over at him. “He’s not even sad.”

“…Levi… umm… Levi and Eren love each other like no couple ever will. They are soul mates. Meant to be together forever. But sometimes… forever comes early. Levi was married before Eren to a beautiful girl. She and Levi always were together and when they got married… she died by a horrible accident. Levi is hurting so much right now that he doesn’t feel anything, and when he does… it’s going to hit him hard, so you need to be there for him, okay?”

“Okay… I just… don’t know how he’s doing it.” I looked down and gripped the bottom of my band shirt. Eren had always told me stories about what foaling in love felt like. It felt like you were free from a small, dark cage you didn’t even know you were trapped in. It was like you were flying and falling in a never ending battle. There was ups and downs, but that was okay because eventually everything will be okay. Love mended you together. If I loved someone like that and they died… I didn’t think I could handle it. It seemed so impossible to me at the time.

“Levi is a very strong person, both physically and emotionally. He’s… trying to hold his emotions inside while there’s people here… but in private… I bet he’ll cry a river.”

“Oh…” I didn’t know he was doing that. Was he really doing that just to keep us calm? He made it seem so natural. I didn’t look at Erwin and just continued to swim in my thoughts. I didn’t know how I felt. I wanted to cry, my dad just died, but… maybe I ran out of tears? I felt like I had no more energy left. I didn’t know why, I just felt like sleeping. Yeah… sleep felt nice.

I got up and walked to my bedroom, looking into Ellise to see she was writing something in a notebook. She was the quieter one. I wasn’t surprised that she was handling this better than I was. Even though I was older, she always seemed like the calmer one. I walked into my bedroom and collapsed in my bed. I got under the comforter and looked up at the stars on my ceiling. Levi had tried putting them up, but he couldn’t reach the ceiling, so Eren had to pick him up to do it. They were the glow in the dark ones. I was big into astronomy three years ago, but now… I just didn’t know how I felt about them. I shifted to my side and closed my eyes. Right, that wasn’t what I came in here for. I came in here for sleep.

~~~

Levi had called us for dinner and all five of us ate around the table slowly and painfully. It was the hardest meal I’ve ever had to choke down. Even Levi’s horrible meatloaf went down easier than this. My throat hurt, but I didn’t say anything. Armin was crying, but I didn’t say anything. Erwin was trying to lighten the mood, but I didn’t say how no one wanted to hear it. I didn’t say anything when Ellise only finished half of her plate before going to be either. And I most definitely didn’t say anything when Levi started to tear up and take bigger bites out of the teriyaki chicken and rice. I went to bed after dinner, but I didn’t really sleep. I didn’t want to dream about Eren. I wanted everything to go back to normal… but it never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got to the climax! :3 I've had this written forever now and have been dying to get to this chapter. and now we're here with only 7 chapters left. I can't wait to see your guys reaction. Thanks for reading!


	60. Please, don't forget me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Things will get better..._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 60

-Levi-

Waking up that next morning wasn’t something that I could do. I just laid there for what seemed like hours just registering that he wasn’t here. He wasn’t keeping me warm by laying on me. He wasn’t there to wake me up in kisses and hugs. He wasn’t there to drag me in the shower. I didn’t know how to function. If the kids came in… I don’t know what I would do. I would just stare at them probably. I… How do you talk when you’re all alone? How can you function when you depended on someone for so long? I felt numb. Yesterday I was staying strong for the kids, but laying here alone was making all my strength disappear.

I cried for the first time since I found out. I didn’t just cry, I bawled. I bawled like a fucking baby. I didn’t even fucking care. He said he would be there forever! He said… he said he loved me and wouldn’t leave me… why me? Why the fuck is it always me?! God fucking damnit… why can’t it happen to someone other than me?!

Before I knew it, I had energy in me. I walked to the piano room, not caring that my children were seeing me cry. Not caring that my image was broken in their minds. I sat down at the piano and fucking played. “Oh, won’t you tell me? Please just tell me? Explain how this should work. I fear who could it be that lives inside of me. My conscious cracking, mind reacting, surrounded by the world. But here you’re smiling bright,” I looked up to try to keep my tears from falling only to see a picture of him smiling bright and carrying me like a princess. “Tch.” I looked back down at my hands, “completely blind to life.”

Ellise walked up to me and pulled at the bottom of my shirt. “D-Dad…?”

“Don’t.” Oliver walked up and pulled her away. I was ignoring both.

“It’s over now. I’ve been hurt somehow. At once I stop my breath. The truth I seek, never felt so bleak, but I maintain my depth. Freeze. I’m breakable, unbreakable. I’m shaking yet, unshakable. Until the day I track you down. I’ll stand here existing and feeling wretched existence. Consuming life force, till I grow distant. There’s no use trusting the friend you used to need, so don’t expect me. I don’t want to hurt you it’s not my nature. This sketchy place, drawn into place, won’t be your savior. So, please think of me the way I used to be. As vivid as can be.” The tears were falling now, but I didn’t give a damn. I didn’t give a damn about anything. I just wanted him back. I needed him back. He was mine. My finger prints hurt from how hard I was hitting the keys. They fucking deserved it. They couldn’t bring him back. 

Ellise held onto Oliver and whimpered.

“The isolation spreads and tears. Those happy days pierce into me. These lonely memories cease to care, they spread throughout my history. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose. I’ll never move. I’ll never lose you. Unravel the world.” I played with all my strength. He took my fucking heart with him. I’d never again love someone as much as him. This was the final pain in my story. This was the last fucking straw. I refuse to be hurt again.

Oliver walked up to me and was about to put his hand on me, but stopped when I started singing again.

“At once, I start changing. Yet, everything’s remaining. These lives I felt, were joined as one. They fade away before they’ve begun. I’m breakable, unbreakable. I’m shaking, yet unshakable. Until these hands contaminate you. I’ll stand here existing and feeling wretched existence. Consuming life force till I grow distant. There’s no use trusting the friend you used to need. So, don’t expect me. This lonely place, held into place, by someone crazy shall melt away like dawn to day as things get hazy. So, please think of me the way I used to be. As who I really should be. So, don’t forget me. You can’t forget me. You won’t forget me. Please, don't forget me! I’m changing inside I’m completely paralyzed. Remaining corrupt, as I wish for paradise. Oh, please think of me. The way I used to be. Oh, won’t you tell? Oh, please, just tell… I fear who could it be… that lives inside of me…” I gulped and tried to wipe my eyes. I regretted breaking down in front of my children. I wanted to keep up the facade that everything was alright… but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough for them.

“D-Dad… are you okay?” Ellise was the one who said this.

I turned to hurt and held out my arms for her. “I’m okay… I’m sorry I scared you.” My voice was scratchy from all my screaming and crying. 

“…Is it okay to cry…?”

My eyes widened. “Why don’t you think so?”

“Because daddy hasn’t…”

I stared at her before looking down. I can’t believe I was sending my kids that message. That it wasn’t okay to cry. I gulped and smiled at her. “It’s okay, sweetie. See? Daddy cried… he just was saving it so he could comfort you. Understand?”

She nodded and hugged me tightly. “I’ll comfort you then…”

“Yeah.” I smiled and hugged her looking down. I didn’t have any more tears to cry. I was just numb again. My stomach growled, but I didn’t feel like eating.

“I’ll go make us pancakes.” Oliver announced and walked to the kitchen. I honestly was so grateful I had him as a son. He always knew what to do. 

We sat down for breakfast and we all ate in silence. The pancakes didn’t have any flavor to me. Everything was bland.

~~~

That afternoon was spent cleaning and taking down the pictures of him. We each kept a family picture in our room to put where we wanted, but we all agreed we didn’t want to see him all around our house for a while. It was painful. We kept him along with his other belongings in a box. I didn’t even know how to go about telling Mikasa. She was going to be devastated.

~~~

That night, as I laid in my bed I thought about all the things we’ve ever done. I thought about how we were always so happy. I looked at the picture I choose of him. It was our wedding photo. He was in my arms and smiling big for the camera while I kissed his cheek. I traced his face gently with a thumb. I got up and got out his box. I hadn’t told the kids that I still had this and wasn’t going to. This was like our secret stash of secrets. These were the last that he would ever write. I took one out carefully and unfolded it. I did this again and again until I read them all.

_I love how you always blush lightly and not a full on blush like me._

_I love how you’re so supportive even if you don’t agree with it._

_I love your nails when they’re painted. It makes you look like a badass._

_I love how you were the one who taught me how to read and write._

_I love how we dream about our past and feel the same way._

_I love how we can tell each other anything._

_I love how you act like you don’t smile, but then you smile all the time._

_I love how you make me the happiest guy on earth._

_I love when you cook me food!_

_I love when you are grading papers you nibble on your pens._

_I love how I can just watch you all day and never get tired of watching you._

_Fuck, I just love you so much._

_I love how when I accidentally hurt you when we play Just Dance you never say anything even though I know it must hurt to be accidentally punched by a Wii remote._

_I love how you act like this big tough guy when you’re a softie._

_I love how you’re a great father._

_I love the nights where you just cling to me in your sleep._

_I love when you pick romantic comedies instead of scary movies just for me._

_I love how you get so possessive over me._

_I love our crazy adventure._

_I love when you sing to me. ( Do it more often! (: )_

_I love how you take everything I say into consideration and keep your promises._

_I love how you gave me your heart._

I held each one close and smiled big. He was such an idiot. I regretted reading them all at once because now there was nothing to discover, but it was too late. I read them all and they all made me so happy. It was like I still had him close to me. I laid back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Hey… I read them all… and I promise… I’m going to write the book we promised we would write. I’ll look everywhere for your entries. I promise.”

~~~

The funeral was tomorrow. Today was a Thursday and I had to go into work today. I watched as all my students walked through the door. I could tell they were whispering about me. I mean, who wouldn’t? I’m the teacher that just lost their lover. I probably looked horrible. Life didn’t really matter and it showed. Oliver hasn’t showered in a while and Ellise hasn’t talked much. I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my eyes. I hadn’t been sleeping well that night.

“Mister-”

“Call me Levi.” I couldn’t bear to hear, say or even think his name.

“Mmm… Levi…why don’t we go for a walk today?” The girl asked shifting uncomfortably. 

Why the fuck not? I got up and fixed my clothes, grabbing my keys. “Come on, we’re going outside. Get out of my sight and I’ll give you a detention.” I walked out and made sure everyone was with me before walking them to the trail through the woods that the cross country team ran out after school. If I got in trouble for this then the principal could go fuck himself.

It really was a nice day out. I felt warm for the first time in a long time. It reminded me of his touch. He was always so warm. He always made me feel like I was melting. I could never get enough of his hands. I always loved it when he ran them over my skin to warm it. 

The smell of the pines reminded me of him too. He always smelled like the earth. He was such a kid. He always made me wonder if he just went outside and rolled in the dirt to get his musky smell. It was intoxicating. My smell grew only to fall.

I’ll never fell his touches again.

I’ll never get close enough to him again to smell him.

I’ll never hear his gorgeous laugh one more time.

I’ll never taste his lips on mine again.

I’ll never see those green blue ocean-like eyes again.

I’ll never get to have him in my life again.

I looked down and gripped my jacket. It wasn’t that it was cold out, I just never could feel the temperature. I didn’t care to. And now I know why. Everything about this world reminded me of him. Everything made it seem like he was always around me when he wasn’t. He was gone. He wasn’t going to come back in my life again. He was just… gone.

I didn’t notice the tears until one of my students handed me tissues. I tried to recompose myself quickly, but it turned out to take a couple minutes. “Sorry…” I was reassured that it was okay, but I didn’t think it was. I was at my job. I should be professional about this. I walked with them a little further and then we sat down in a clearing. “Let’s write about our worries or lives or whatever you want on a piece of paper and then we’ll send them away on the creek so they won’t bother us.” I thought it was a good activity and I could grade them on something today at least.

I got out a piece of paper and pen. It didn’t take me long to start writing.

_Well… I did this once before and now I’m doing this again. How much do you think my life sucks right now, my puppy? I know, I know. I know what you would say. That, “I have two beautiful children who need me.” But really you gave me the strength to raise them and now you’re gone… what if I can’t now? Maybe I’m just worrying too much about this. Please give me the strength I need._

_You know, at the beginning of all this I thought you were just another brat at the movie theater, but you became so much more than that. We both needed a change in life and, fuck, did we get it. I don’t think it could have turned more upside down than it did. And you know what? I wouldn’t changing anything about it. I’m so fucking proud that I got to love you. You have no fucking idea. I love how hard headed you are. I love how you keep me going. I love how you never gave up on me. I love how much you changed me for the better. I was a mess before you and… now I’m a bigger mess, but I like this mess better. This mess hurts more, but it’s also reassuring because I’ll get to see you in my next life. I hope we meet in every life. I’ll take you on so many more adventures. I’ll teach you all the things I can do to you in the bedroom. I’ll make you laugh and cry and I’ll fuck up and you’ll fuck up, but you know what? That’s just us. I don’t think I could have had a better life. I’ll raise our children with confidence and… I’ll try my best. I love you._

I got up and found a piece of wood that would float and put it in the water with my folded letter on it. It had his name on it and I knew I was sending mixed signals with my crying and smiling, but I couldn’t find the energy to care. I felt so much better after that. I should write to him more often. I couldn’t wait to get home and see my kids. I wanted to get them out of the depression and get them back to normal.

~~~

The rest of my school day was just me giving my students a free period while I worked on writing my part of the story. I already had a flash drive complied of all of Eren’s journal entries so I just had to put my side every now and then to help connect the dots. I had a purpose. I was going to be strong for him and the kids. I was going to help everyone through this.

The funeral was tomorrow and I didn’t know if I was ready for that or not, but I was going to have to be. I was going to have to be ready to see him in a casket and be there for the people who had less time to cope with it. Mikasa just found out a couple days ago. Armin told her, but I heard that she was pretty devastated. He will be remembered and that was important. He wasn’t going to leave us complete. So, I take back what I said. He isn’t gone as long as we still remember. I didn’t mean to make this cheesy, but it’s reassuring to me. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t think I can bear it. I just love him so much. I love him way too much to give him up now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're nearing the end. 7 chapters left. I really hope I'm doing this work justice. I'm really going to miss writing this, but I'm also going to miss your reactions. The song in this is Unravel from Tokyo Ghoul. :3


	61. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There goes my heart._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 61

The funeral home was a nice. It wasn’t nice enough for him but… it was all I could afford. I walked up to the casket and looked down at him. They tried their best to make him look the way he did… but… he was too pale and sad looking. He was wearing a nice suit with a red flower in his hand, its petals long. I bit my lip and took out his box. “You… You didn’t get to read these so I’ll just put them out around you. You read them when you can…” Fuck… I couldn’t do this. My hands trembled with each piece of paper I sat on him. Tears slid down my cheeks and onto him. I seriously couldn’t do this. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this. When I laid the last one down… it felt like it was all over. I put the box back in my bag and leaned down to kiss him one last time.

I remember when I was little and I saw people kiss their loved one’s dead bodies that I thought it was disgusting. They were dead how could you kiss them? I understood now. This was something you didn’t want to understand. Funerals are not for the dead, you’ve probably heard that a million times though. Funerals are for the people who need to see that person one last time. Funerals are for the people that need to kiss them one last time. Funerals are for the people to give them the gifts they never got to receive. Funerals are for the selfish people that don’t think about what that person is going to miss out on. My own pain and his was what was tearing me up inside. Because I knew he wouldn’t wake up to my breakfast ever again. Because I knew he wouldn’t wake up to see the children off to school. Because I knew he would never see the light of day or the feel the cool of night. He’ll never get to experience another birthday or any of the seasons ever again. He’ll never get to laugh, smile, cry, moan, talk ever again. He’ll lay in this box until he decomposes. He won’t get to walk with me again. He won’t get to hear me sing ever again. He won’t get to have a new favorite color that was based off of me. 

In the beginning, Eren had said that we shared pain. When he was in pain, I was and when I was, he was. That couldn’t have been a truer statement because our red string of fate was also attached to death. One of us was going to die first and… it ended up being him. My red string of fate was attached to someone who wasn’t even alive. I reached down and messed his hair, it was too neat. It wasn’t like him to have neat hair. 

“Hey, kiddo. You’re a little shit, you know that?” I licked my dry lips, but it didn’t help. My tears were using all the water in my body. “You just had to knock my tea boxes over at the store. You just had to make me fucking fall for you. Ere… This hurts like a bitch, kid. It was my turn to die first. You died first in both lives now. It’s your turn to feel like this. I know… I know it’s fucking selfish of me to say that, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m the only one here… I can say what I want and… fuck… I can’t do this… Give me break, please. My heart can’t take this…” I looked down at his face and started at his closed eyes. “Other people will be here soon and you better feel bad about putting them through this too.” I reached in my bag and pulled out a teal collar. “This… This is yours. This will always be yours. I will always be yours. You don’t have to be worried about that. I don’t give a fuck if you want me to move on or not, I’m not. I’m going to be yours for the rest of my life. So, you need to wear this.” I slipped it around his neck and fastened it to where his tag was showing. It hurt to see, hear and say his name. I rubbed the tag and leaned down, kissing his head. “I can go on… but I hear Armin. So… you’re going to have to just be okay with that. I hope you’re enjoying the music… I made a soundtrack of all the songs I’ve ever written just for you. You did love my singing after all.” I leaned down and kissed his cheek. “I love you.” I backed away as soon as a hand was put on my shoulder. I felt like I was going to crumble under it.

“L-Levi…” It was Armin and he was a sobbing mess.

I turned to him and hugged him tightly. This was the first time we have ever hugged. “Hey, it’s alright… you know he wouldn’t have wanted to go out any other way…” It stung to say that and I knew it stung to hear that, but that didn’t stop Armin from chuckling softly.

“Yeah… How are you doing…?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know how to answer that. It was only the beginning. It’s only been a couple days since I’ve said goodbye to him that day he went into work. I prepared myself for him to possibly die on the job. He was a cop. I mean, it was a high possibility. I just didn’t think it was going to be so soon. “I’m okay. Better than others I’m guessing.” Bullshit.

“Yeah, Mikasa isn’t doing too good.”

“I didn’t think she would.” I sighed and went and sat down where Oliver and Ellise were. Armin had dropped them off after school. I pulled them close and rubbed their backs. “It’s okay, guys.”

“…Not really…” Oliver whispered.

I sighed and looked to the side, humming. “Well… you know what cheers me up?”

“What?” They both looked at me with interest.

“Sing a song. You know our song.”

Oliver looked to the side and shook his head, “I don’t sing.”

“Heh, that’s because you spend too much time playing volleyball.”

“Well… volleyball is life…”

“Then why don’t you go outside and bump a volleyball by yourself? It might be better than being in here. Just don’t walk away with weird people you don’t know or-”

“Oh, my sweet Levi! It can’t be true!” An earsplitting scream came.

I sighed and shook my head, “Hanji…”

Oliver instantly got up and grabbed the volleyball to try to run away, but Hanji got to him first and picked him up, hugging him tightly and kissing his head.

“Okay! Okay! Let me go!” Oliver whimpered and squirmed in her grasp. “I can’t believe you’re friends with her, Dad!”

Hanji cackled and put him down only to pick up Ellise and doing the same to her. Hanji was much too loud for this environment, but seeing her was refreshing.

I got up and let Hanji hug me. It was actually a moment where I hugged her back before we sat back down on the bench. “Unfortunately, it is true.”

“I can’t believe it! And here I thought I was going to be here with Eren.” She whimpered and looked up at the casket. “…He was so young…”

“Tell me about it…” I muttered and looked down. I understood that most of my friends would give me the most attention, but I didn’t really want it. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about him until I said my eulogy. “Hey, Hanji?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Can you go get me some water?”

She nodded and walked to go get me some. 

I curled up and looked down. I didn’t want Erwin to come. I invited him just because I knew Armin was going to need him, but for some reason I figured he’d ignore Armin and put all his attention on me. I didn’t want there to be a fight. I was worried about how all this was going to work out.

Ellise tapped my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, Daddy. All you have to do is sing.”

I chuckled and pulled her close and sang along with her. It was like we were sending a soft little message to Eren. “Song for the reluctant heroes. Oh, give me your strength, our life is so short. Song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you. From my heart, song for the reluctant heroes, oh give me your strength, our life is so short. Song for the reluctant heroes, I wanna be brave like you.” I smiled at her and kissed her head. “Thanks, I feel better now.” I didn’t feel any better, but as long as I could comfort her then I could at least do that.

“Daddy, why are you so sad? If you found each other in this life then all you have to do is find each other in the next! Then find us and we’ll be a happy family again!” She beamed up at me.

I chuckled and nuzzled her. “Yeah, I guess I could always do that.”

Hanji came back with my water and I put my feet down on the ground so I could drink it properly. I sighed and looked down once I saw the priest come in and settled everyone down. I looked over and saw Armin being comforted by Erwin. Good. I’m glad he finally got his priorities straight. I would have loved to have a pet party with him where our pets could have played. I looked down and whined. Yeah, my little puppy would have enjoyed that. He was always looking for new ways to please me. The bench creaked from Oliver sitting on it.

The room was quiet except for the people who cried loudly, who was mostly Mikasa. Most of us chose to cry silently. When it was my turn to speak, that’s when most people lost it.

“Well… to be honest, I didn’t really write anything. You see, there’s not much to say about… Eren. He was the brattiest kid I’ve ever known. I mean, did you ever see what he would do to a kitchen after cooking in it? It was like a fucking tornado went through there. Umm… fuck… I was going to keep the swearing down to a minimum...oh well…” I chuckled, looking away from the priest in slight guilt, though this was mostly to get everyone to laugh. “Anyways, as you all know Eren was my husband, and living with him wasn’t the easiest. No relationship is, no matter how perfect you are there are always going to be problems and, man, we had a lot of them. But that didn’t stop him from coming back to me each night or me going back to him. He wasn’t someone who would give in… and…” My hands balled up to where my nails were digging into my palms. “He had strong personality and a sense of justice. Honestly, this was bound to happen he was always getting into trouble… and…” My voice cracked and I knew I had to wrap it up. “I know this was supposed to be about him… but I’m selfish… I have always been selfish and I did not deserve him what-so-ever. But he stayed. And… I am so very glad that he did. Because I just love him too damn much to know what to do right now…” I looked down and gulped. “He was the best thing in our lives… but… that shouldn’t stop us from going forward and accomplishing our goals because that’s what he would have wanted.” I walked back to my seat and broke down. I don’t know why it hit me all of a sudden, I’ve been crying all day, but it suddenly just hit me. I was completely trapped by hugs from both Hanji and Erwin, who had ran over to comfort me. I didn’t want their arms. I wanted his… I wanted Eren’s.

It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate their comfort… I just felt like others deserved it more. I didn’t like breaking down in front of everyone. It was just in my nature to just suffer alone and console everyone else. I hugged them and then turned to Ellise and Oliver, holding them closer. “Shhh… it’s going to be okay…” I had to focus on them. I had to comfort them.

“You okay?” Erwin asked me looking into my eyes.

I have no idea how many times Erwin has picked me up when I was down. When Petra died… he was the one who saved me from killing myself. He was always there watching over me, making sure I ate and got enough sleep at night. He was the one who would stay up hours with me telling me different stories just to get me to sleep. He was the reason I was able to meet Eren. As toxic as our relationship was, our friendship was based on so much trust and patience. I took his hand and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Go back to your pet.”

Erwin chuckled and ruffled my hair. “I don’t appreciate you calling him that. He is my lover.”

I smiled and watched him get back to Armin. He really wasn’t so bad. I was just the idiot that kept pushing him away. Maybe it was because I still had feelings for him deep down inside. Whatever the case, I was glad we were over that part in our story.

The funeral was winding down and people were starting to leave. I was just about to go myself when Mikasa came up to me.

“This…” She started to unwrap her scarf. “Was from Eren. He gave it to me when his parents adopted me… I want you to have it.”

I looked down at it and shook my head. “No, that’s yours. We all need something to have close to our hearts.” I smiled at her and wrapped it back around her. I never got her blessing to marry him. But, we still had a good friendship. I felt like Mikasa and I were similar. We were just those types of people to be loyal to someone until the bitter end.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you were the one to marry him.”

My eyes widened and I stared at her in shock. “Huh?”

“I’m glad you married him. When we would get together for lunch, when he talked about you, he was always so happy. He was happiest I had ever seen him. Our mom died when we were little and… he hasn’t been the same since. But then you taught him how to read and write and you gave him a purpose in life. He wasn’t just a bum on the couch anymore. He became someone. And that’s all thanks to you.”

“You can’t say I did all of that alone. Everyone here had an impact on his life.”

“He knew a lot of people.”

“He was the star in everyone’s life.”

Mikasa smiled and nodded.

~~~

The burial was similar. I, Erwin, Jean and Marco carried the casket out. It was heavy but Erwin was taking most of the weight. The kids were watching us with wide eyes. I wanted to go comfort them and say it was alright, but I didn’t know how to form the words. We set him down in the ground. We backed away and I held the kids close. I looked at his gravestone that was in the shape of a heart. It read:

_Loving father and husband_  
_Eren Yeager_  
_March 30, 1985 - September 4, 2015_

For some reason, at that moment I felt at peace with it. I felt like it wasn’t the end of the world and that I could get through this. He was gone physically, but emotionally he was still here. I wasn’t done completely mourning. I would always miss him, but… I felt like I could get through this as long as I had the people around me to support me. I held Oliver’s and Ellise’s hands and squeezed them gently, “hey…when we get home… I’ll tell you a story.”

Ellise looked up at me with curious, wet eyes. “What about?”

“About a boy who needed to change his life.”

“Why?”

“Heh, I guess we’ll find out when we get there, huh?”

Ellise smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

I glanced over and saw Oliver smiling a little and nodding. “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry... Also, I've only ever been to two funerals and that was when I was little so I don't remember much, so sorry if I didn't get this completely right. I tried my best.
> 
> Song: Reluctant Heroes


	62. Our Last Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Heh, thank you for reading our side of the story! Levi will write the next chapter! We're almost done so our promise to Eren will be complete. <3_  
> -Armin & Erwin (But mostly Armin)

Chapter 62

-Armin-

We were home and it seemed really quiet. We had been busy taking care of Ellise the past couple days while Levi coped, but now… it felt all too lonely. I missed my friend. We hadn’t seen each other much, and that was because of our masters, but…now I regret it. I was curled up on the couch not sure what to do with myself. It was like the world stopped once Eren Yeager left it.

Erwin walked over and held me, rubbing my back. “I’m so sorry, love.”

“Thank you…”

Erwin looked down at me and started to rub my tears away. “For what?”

“Staying with me when I needed you at the funeral.”

“…You’re my everythi-”

“Don’t say that. I’m not… and that’s okay… just don’t sit there and lie to me.”

“Armin…”

I looked down and nuzzled him. “I know you’ll always love, Levi…but if you could just love me just a little bit more that’s all I have ever asked… and you proved that by staying with me… so… please…don’t lie to me now.”

Erwin sighed and started to rub my back again. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright…”

“...Are you sure…?”

“Yeah. I promise, Erwin.” I gave him a weak smile. I really did mean it. I didn’t mind. I know how Erwin felt. Erwin had an epic relationship that was toxic, but it still meant something. I didn’t mind as long as he realized this was better. That we were better for each other.

Erwin smiled and kissed me gently. “I wish you could have spent more time with him.”

I looked down and nodded. “Yeah… me too…”

“I’m sorry… part of that was mine and Levi’s annoyances with each other. But we can’t regret the past. That just makes us unable to make decisions in the future.”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah… I remember you saying that to me before…”

Erwin chuckled and nodded, “You know before I died in Shiganshina?”

“Heh, yeah. You idiot… you only had one arm and it was titan territory.”

“At least I died with honor.”

“Stop. You’ve watched too much Mulan.” I laughed and pushed him gently.

“What can’t take my references? I’ll just have to make you into a man.” Erwin smirked.

“Please, I am not swift as a coursing river.”

“What about the force of a great typhoon?”

“Nope.”

“With all the strength of a raging fire?”

“Heh, I can’t even lift one hundred pounds, Erwin.”

“What about mysterious as the dark side of the moon?”

“I’m an open book.”

Erwin leaned back and sighed. “We have a lot of work on our hands.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You’ve watched that way too much.”

“You made me. It’s your favorite movie ever, even though it is highly inaccurate.”

I looked at him and shook my head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Heh, hey, Armin?”

I looked at him knowing this was serious. Erwin always said “hey, Armin” before he led into anything too serious. I intertwined our fingers to brace myself.

“Try not to get yourself too down about Eren… He’s your best friend and he wouldn’t want you to be sad for too long. You know? I mean…Eren wouldn’t want you to live like that. So, don’t regret the past. Just keep going with your head held high.” He smiled at me and kissed my head. “I mean… I miss him too and I know I could never understand what you’re going through, but… I feel like you shouldn’t worry about what you did and didn’t do. Because I doubt Eren regrets it.”

I blushed and nodded. “Alright. I’ll try to.”

“That’s my little kitten. Wanna go shopping? That normally cheers you up.” Erwin smiled and stroked my hair. I loved it when he did that. It was the very reason he decided to call me his kitten because I liked being petted. He knew everything about me and how to cheer me up. I was so thankful for him to be here. If he wasn’t, I would have just been in my room, crying and wasting away.

“Yeah. Can we get me new skirts?” Even though, Eren didn’t like it when I cross dressed for Erwin, it was something I was comfortable doing with him. It was one of my favorite activities to do with him. He was always honest when it came to what was flattering to my body and what wasn’t and it was a nice feeling to be pampered with gifts- not that that was why I was with him. He didn’t start doing that until that trip to the beach forever ago. I think after that trip was when we got serious. Like really serious. I think when he came back to me and we forgave each other… was when I fell for him even more. He had chosen me over Levi.

“We can get you whatever you want, kitten.” He put his finger through the loop of my collar in a silent gesture of his love before getting up and putting on a jacket. I always see him when he leaves for work, so to actually see him in casual clothes was rare. They didn’t exactly look right on him in my opinion, but they were way more comfortable than a suit so I didn’t complain. “You can even wear a skirt when you go out if you want.”

My eyes lit up and I ran into mine and Erwin’s room. I looked through my crossdressing drawer and hummed. Erwin loved it when I wore light blue. I picked out a light blue tank top and a black skirt. Erwin always made sure to keep me well-groomed and cared for so I never had to worry about my legs not being shaved enough because I knew Erwin wouldn’t have suggested it if they weren’t. He was so caring. I put on black flats and put a dark headband in my hair. Erwin liked them too. He never said it, but I could tell what he liked better on me than other things just by how he looks at me. This outfit would surely make him smile. When I wear things like this I always felt more beautiful. Like I could be seen next to a guy like Erwin. A lot of girls swooned over him, but I knew that he would always wave them off and turn his gaze to me. It was like I captivated him. I loved that power.

~~~

-Erwin-

~~~

I waited for Armin to be ready, while in the meantime I looked in the mirror. Armin and I have always had our problems, but lately it hasn’t been so bad. Ever since the beach trip it’s been like we couldn’t be more in sync. It was like after that trip, I really fell for him. Every waking moment has made me want to just spend the rest of my life with him. And I was going to pop the question sometime this week, but… it wasn’t the right time. I wanted Armin to be able to grieve over Eren properly.

Unlike Levi and my relationship, we were always together. We always told each other everything and… it was like I was dating my best friend. On some nights, we would make a blanket fort on the floor in the living room and watch movies all night on my laptop. We would fall asleep there and I wouldn’t even care if my back felt like shit in the morning, because I got to spend that night with him. I got to see his happy face and care for him. It was those moments I loved best.

Not that the sex wasn’t great. Armin was a wonderful partner in bed, but those little sweet moments that we had almost every day were the moments that me and Levi lacked. Missing those moments was what made Levi and me toxic, but because of those moments it made me and Armin stronger than anything I’ve ever had. They were special to us.

I heard the door open and I turned to look at him as he walked into the living room. I had to say, he looked stunning. The blue material clung to the small curve on his sides and hugged his body nicely. The skirt was flowy and came down to a little past mid-thigh. I always liked it when he wore skirts that covered him a little bit more than what normal women wore. It looked classier in my opinion. Besides, Armin’s best traits were all in his baby face.

“You look wonderful, kitten.” I praised and walked over to him and stroked his hair so I wouldn’t mess it up. I loved the way his eyes always lit up when I called him by his pet name. I kissed him gently before leaning away. “I’m going to text Levi real quick to make sure he’s okay then we can go.”

“Alright.” Armin smiled and for a brief moment I wondered if it bothered him that I texted Levi a lot.

I thought it over before I decided to ask him about it. I didn’t want to make him feel insecure just because Levi didn’t have a partner now. I would understand if he was, but I really couldn’t even imagine going back to Levi now. The love I had for him was now gone and all that was left was the feelings of friendship. I really did just want to be with Armin.

“No, not at all. I understand, Erwin. I don’t feel like you’re going to leave me for him. After all these years…I mean… I just don’t see you as a man who would leave his significant other for his ex when they’ve been together for almost a decade.”

I smiled and kissed his head. “Shhh, don’t say that. I feel so old.”

“Well, you are in your late forties…”

“I said hush.” I said in a light teasing tone.

Armin chuckled and nodded. “Alright.”

My phone vibrated and I looked down at it.

_Yeah, I’m okay. Stop worrying. I just… I’m glad I had you during the funeral. I know Armin is probably pissed that you left him in the middle of it… but thanks… I…It’s just weird not having him around. Not hearing his voice. Not…seeing him. I know it’s something I should get used to but… I don’t know. It’s just not something I can…_

I sighed and knew he would be like this. He was even worse than when he was grieving over Petra. I wanted to be there for him, but I knew I shouldn’t. Not when Armin needed me. Armin always came first and the only reason I left him at the funeral to go comfort Levi was because Armin told me to. Otherwise, I would have just stayed there and comforted him. I texted him back.

_It’s going to be okay. I promise. You’ll get used to it after a while. I know it feels impossible now, and it’s never going to be the same, but you have to be strong. Your kids need you to be. Try to just think about them until you deal with it better. Maybe even go see a psychologist? At least that way you’ll have someone to talk to besides your 13/11 year old kids. He may even get you anti-depressants to help you deal with it. Just be strong, okay?_

I hoped that was good enough to at least pull him through for a while. I don’t know how I would feel if he just decided to hand the kids back and just give up. No, I know exactly how I would feel. I would feel pissed off. The Levi I know would never do that. With that thought in mind, I grabbed Armin’s hand and walked him to the car. We got in and I started to drive him to the mall. He seemed eager so at least I was making him happy. That made me smile a little.

My phone went off and I asked Armin to read it to me. If there was one thing we both agreed, it was that safety was highly important. It was just as important to us as reading was. I loved when we would cuddle up under a blanket and read to each other.

“He says okay.” Armin said and leaned against me a little, laying across the middle storage compartment.

“Okay.” I said and smiled at him. “I’m trying to drive here.”

“I’m feeling daring today.” He retorted and chuckled.

“You’re such a goof ball.”

“You’re so old.” He teased me and pawed at my leg. “…umm…Daddy?”

I blushed. He normally only called me that when we were getting down and dirty. “Yes, kitten?”

“…Thank you for taking me out. I promise I’ll be your good little kitten.”

I smiled and kissed his head. “You already are.” I focused back on the road and put an arm around him, rubbing his side.

“Ooo, not two hands on the wheel?”

“Shut up.” I chuckled and shook my head before parking at the mall. “Alright, we’re here.” I turned off the car before getting out. I looked at him from over the car and smiled. He was just so perfect.

As I took him into the mall I couldn’t help but think about all the time we have spent together. I don’t know what was with my mood today, but everything felt very nostalgic. Maybe it clicked in my mind that we could die at any moment. I didn’t want to lose another opportunity to not see him. I didn’t want to lose another moment not to call his name and him turn to me. I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t want him to lose me.

“Erwin? Something wrong?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re looking at me like you’re about to cry…”

I blushed and chuckled before shaking my head. “Don’t worry about it. I was just thinking about different things.” I pulled him close and kissed his head. “Now, ready to go get new clothes?”

“Yeah!”

I smiled and took him to the first store. I don’t know what the future holds, but I was glad I was taking this journey with Armin. He really did make my heart beat faster. He made me feel like a whole new person. I just wanted to make him the happiest person ever. That was my intentions all along, but my selfishness got in the way of that. I kissed his head again when he was looking at different clothes. I was really lucky that I knew him so well so I could make him happy. Now, if only we could make Levi this happy. Then I really would have the perfect life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! I love seeing people give this story kudos and comments! But yeah, 4 more chapters left.  
> I'm sorry for the delay. The chapter was finished on Wednesday I just forgot to upload it since I had a busy week. My apologies!


	63. Single Parenting: Ages: 14/12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Am I doing a good job so far...?_  
>  -Levi

Chapter 63

“Oh, fuck… Eren…” I moaned as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply before pushing me into our room. I leaned away and started to take off my clothes in a hurry.

“Master… I’ll take care of you tonight. Sit on the bed.”

I smiled and walked over to the bed and sat down. He went over to the closet and grabbed a box before sitting it next to me. Eren knelt in front of me and stroked my length.

“I love you.” He smiled and leaned forward to kiss and suckle at it.

“Mm…What’s the word, Eren?”

“Red light.” He said before going down on my length, moaning around it. It felt so great. I felt like I hadn’t felt like this in years. I moaned and gripped onto his hair before sliding in his mouth more. “Fuck… you’re so warm…”

He moaned and swallowed around me but drool still went down his chin and onto his neck. He leaned away and panted. “Gah… Master is so big… I don’t know how he fits in puppy’s tight little ass.”

I gulped and gripped on his hair tighter. “On the bed.”

He crawled on the bed on his hands and knees and wiggled his ass at me. “Does master like it?”

“Yes.” I grabbed the rope and tied his hands behind his back so his chest was laying against the bed. He was so damn flexible. I licked my lips as I leaned down and bit at his ass before going over to his entrance and swiping my tongue across it. 

“Ah! Fuck!” He squirmed as I kept going at it, getting faster and faster. I leaned away and grabbed the lube and put some on my fingers. I wanted to hear his voice more. I wanted to be in him. I leaned down and sucked on his shoulders.

When I was about to start stretching him, he disappeared.

~~~

I woke up in a panic, sweat going down my half naked body. I looked around expecting to see Eren there, but he wasn’t. He hasn’t for a whole year. I slid out of bed and grabbed my pills taking the recommended dose. They were supposed to make me happy or some shit, but I didn’t see how. I guess they’re doing their job though since I’m still here. I walked out into the kitchen and started making breakfast. The pictures have slowly made their way back up on the walls. Once the muffins were in the oven, I walked to fourteen year old, Oliver’s room and shook him awake. “Time to get up.”

“Nnnn… no… Five more minutes?”

“Come on its first day of high school. That’s pretty fucking amazing isn’t it?”

“When you say it like that you sound sarcastic.”

Because I couldn’t find the happiness to be excited for him. “Just get up.” I walked out and walked to Ellise’s room. First day of Junior High. I didn’t know what to do. They were both growing up so quickly. Was I raising them alright? “Give me strength, Eren…” Being fifty and raising two kids on my own was tougher than I thought. I shook Ellise and kissed her head. “Time to get up.”

She rolled out of bed and whimpered. “Okay…” 

I smiled and walked to my room where I hopped in the shower before getting dressed. Another year another group of kids. Seventeen more years till retirement. It seemed too soon. It seemed like everything was going so fast around me and I wasn’t adapting to the pace. I fixed my grey tie before going back out and getting the muffins out of the oven. I turned off the oven, a shower going off in the background. Ellise was probably in it. I walked to Oliver’s room and pulled him out of bed. “Use my shower.”

He landed on the ground and whined, “Fuck… fine…” He got up and grabbed the clothes he was going to wear that day. I worried about him. His tastes were always towards the punk side but they have escalated since Eren died. At night I sometimes walked in and checked his wrists, legs and stomach for any cuts. He never had any… but I still worried.

Ellise was a different story. She was with the popular girls at her school but she wasn’t one of those bitchy popular girls. I taught her to be better than that. She wasn’t a slut either. She normally wore jeans and shirts that covered her nicely. She was growing up which meant we needed to talk. Yes, the awkward sex talk. Eren, give me strength for that too.

I walked back to the kitchen and took out the muffins and put two on each plate. I set the table and got us all a glass of milk. I walked to the shower door. “After school I want to have a talk with you.”

“Umm… am I in trouble?”

“No… I just want to have a talk.”

“Okay…”

I was not looking forward to this. I didn’t even know what a tampon looked like. Petra always took care of that when we were together and when I did want to have sex on her week she would reject me with “Shark week”. Do I have to like… research it? Or do the schools explain it? I rubbed my eyes and sighed. Or… maybe I could have Mikasa come over and tell her how to put one in? Yeah, good plan. Good plan. 

Oliver came out with thick eyeliner on and a black shirt with striped long sleeves. He had bracelets that had spikes on them around his wrists and was wearing dark skinny jeans.

“Someone looks dead.”

“I don’t want to go to school.”

“All I ask for is a C.”

“Yeah… I know…” He sighed and sat down at the table. “Do we have to have pictures of him up everywhere?”

“…It helps the healing process.” At least that’s the bullshit my therapist said to me. He gave me a look that told me he didn’t believe me but dropped the subject.

“…I have a girlfriend… do you want to meet her? Her name is Skylan.”

“Yeah. Is she all gothic like you?”

Oliver rolled his eyes and shook his head, “I’m not gothic. I don’t worship Satan or whatever the fuck they do.”

“Heh, then what group are you in?”

Oliver shrugged. “I guess the scene kids.”

“Heh, that’s how I was in high school. No one ever fucked with me.”

“…Dad…? Um… do you miss him…?”

Back to this? “Of course I do.”

“… Is that why you take those pills in your room?”

Shit. I forgot to hide them. “Yeah… they’re for depression. I count them so don’t you fucking dare use them or sell them.”

“…I wasn’t… I was just wondering…”

Ellise walked out and smiled at us. “Good morning.” She sat down and started to eat her muffins.

“…Morning…” Oliver sighed.

We somehow managed to get too our schools and through our day.

~~~

At around three pm, I walked to Ellise’s room and sat down on her bed, making sure the door was shut. “Alright, so… sex.”

Her eyes widened and she blushed. “W-What about it?”

“So, do you want to like talk about it?”

“Ummm… I-I guess.” She shifted awkwardly on her desk.

“Any questions?”

“W-Why do I have to talk about this to you…?”

I blushed and rubbed the back of my neck. “I-I mean… I can ask Aunt Mikasa to talk to you about it but I figured you’d be comfortable with talking to me about it considering I’m the one who is going to have to get you the stuff for it…” 

“…Okay… umm…” She looked down then back up at me. “Why do girls and boys have different puberties?”

I wanted to shot myself in the head. My little baby should not be hearing this stuff! Why was talking to Oliver about this so much easier than talking to Ellise?! “Umm… well… there’s different parts. Boys… they have this… uh… fuck… um…” I should have researched more! “They have all their reproductive stuff on the outside. It… uh… looks like this.” I took a pencil and paper and drew a basic penis on it. “…a-and guys don’t have babies. So they don’t have a uterus which is… where the baby goes and if they baby isn’t there then the walls shed to prepare for the next one. It’s like spring cleaning.”

“Oh… That looks gross.”

Thank fucking god.

“…Will it hurt? When it sheds?”

“Maybe. It depends on the person. If you have really bad cramps we can get you on birth control and that will help you, but that doesn’t mean you should go out and have sex with everyone. But we’ll have to see how your first couple times.”

“Okay…how long does it last?”

“That depends too. At most a week or as less as three days.”

“What are guys puberty like?”

“Well… you see these things?” I pointed to the testicles, “They drop so the sperm can grow or whatever. Then they get hair everywhere. And their voice gets really deep and stuff like that.”

“Oh... Dad…? How did you know you wanted to be with Eren?”

I looked down and smiled, “I didn’t for a very long time, but you just get this feeling like you were meant for them. That there’s no looking back and all you can do is reach out for them to accept you. It’s like… your heart swells…”

“But he was a guy…”

“That didn’t matter to me. I knew he was the one just by looking at him.”

Ellise looked down and hummed. “But, isn’t that not normal?”

“Love is normal. Everyone experiences despite who you feel it for. It’s an emotion. Not a principle.”

She looked up at me with sparkling eyes and nodded. “Do you still love Dad?”

“Of course.” 

“I love him too. And you.”

I smiled and nodded. “I love you too. Any other questions? If you have any more later you can always ask me. But this isn’t such a big deal. You’ll get through it because you’re brave and strong.” I smiled at her and ruffled her hair. I didn’t want to cram a bunch of information down her throat all at once. It would be way too overwhelming since she is just starting to show the signs of womanhood.

“How big will my breasts be?”

If I had been drink, I would have coughed it up. “W-What?!”

“How big will they get?”

“Um… that depends on your eating habits… but you don’t want big ones. My wife had a pretty big ones and her back always hurt and stuff. So, you’ll want to keep eating healthy. I mean, guys will look there instead of in your eyes if you have big breasts too. But it’s okay if you did have big ones because you’ll still find someone who will love you for more than your body. You’ll just have to be more careful, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Tell me when it happens, okay? It’s something I need to know. You can just text me and say something like ‘it started’.” I smiled and when she nodded I walked out of the room to prepare dinner. That conversation was done for now.

~~~

At night, I laid in bed and looked at his picture. He was so handsome and brave and cute. Tears slid down my cheeks.

“Am I making you proud?”

I knew I was because Eren was always proud of me. Even in my darkest moments he always stood by my side. He never told me off and said I was wrong. He listened and cared about what I had to say.

“Will everything be okay in the end…?”

Of course it would. The kids were going to be fine. I was raising them to be strong people. At least, I hoped I was. I took the picture and held it to my chest. 

“We had a crazy adventure, kid… I can’t believe it has already been a year since you’ve been gone… It seems like yesterday I was given you a collar at a stupid birthday party.” I didn’t know why I always talked to him at night. I knew he was gone… but for some reason I wanted to hope that he could hear me. That no matter how separated we were we would always be able to hear each other. I wanted to hope that he was looking down on us and keeping us strong. “I love you, kid. I love you so much… I’m so stupidly in love…. I wish I could have told you that.”

He was my last hope.

But for some reason… I think I was his too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I didn't update Friday! I didn't have time to write the chapter, but I wrote it today! :3 But thanks for all the support!  
> 3 more chapters!


	64. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It's getting better._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 64

“So… this is your girlfriend?”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ye-”

“Levi is fine.”

“Umm… okay… Levi.”

Skylan wasn’t how I thought she would be. She was dressed in a pink skirt and a white crop top with a black tank top underneath. Her black hair was put up in a messy bun and her nails were painted black. Her eyes were bright blue and she had pale skin similar to Oliver’s. They certain made an odd couple.

“It’s nice to meet you too… come in… Dinner will be ready at six… Do you want a snack?” What was I supposed to do in this situation? This was his first girlfriend. I really didn’t know what to do about the opposite sex coming over. I mean, they were freshman in high school. Do they have sex that early? I didn’t. But then again, I wasn’t really interested in anyone in high school. I guess I’ll just get to know her over dinner.

“Can you make us some like pizza rolls or something?” Oliver asked as he removed his boots gesturing for Skylan to do the same and put them on the rack next to the door. 

“Yeah.” I walked into the kitchen and put the pizza rolls in the toaster oven before walking to my room.

~~~

-Oliver-

~~~

“Your dad seems cool.” Skylan smiled at me.

I shrugged and looked down, trying to put down the picture of Eren down without her seeing me do it. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about him. Ever since the funeral I always avoided conversation about Eren. I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. “He’s okay.”

“Where’s your mom?”

“I don’t have one. I’m adopted.”

“Oh… So it’s just you, your dad and sister?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know your real parents?”

“No, I was in the adoption center for as long as I could remember then they came and got me and Ellise. I don’t really care to know them. I mean, I have this family now so it’s whatever.”

“…They?”

My heart dropped. Fuck. I couldn’t look up at her. If I did she would see the tears in my eyes. I was always the one closest to Eren. Ellise favored Levi. If they had ever broken up then everyone knew where I and Ellise would choose to be with. I gripped the bed and bit my lip. “Yeah… I had another dad… but… um… he did last year.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She pulled me close and hugged me.

This was what I hated about telling people about Eren. They always said sorry like it was their damn fault. It wasn’t. The person who got away with shooting Eren was at fault. The guy probably didn’t even know that Eren had a husband and two kids. But no. Everyone else was left to say sorry. 

“It’s fine… Dad is the one who took it the hardest out of everyone. Eren… was the second person he married. It was like they were so in sync, you know? They fought occasionally but it was okay because at the end of the day Eren or dad would come back and they would just make up and it would just be that instant connection. They… were like the perfect couple. They’ve been through hell and back to get to this point. Dad… was always into the bdsm stuff… he didn’t really tell me much about the details, but he had like this abusive relationship with Erwin, who is a friend of the family. He didn’t actually know they were in a relationship, as far as he was concerned they were just fuck buddies. But… then dad met Eren. That was when everything changed. He collared Eren almost immediately, but when he found out how hurt Erwin was he couldn’t stand it and took the collar back and… Eren was devastated. I guess, dad moved away for a long time to get away from everything and when he came back Eren was pissed. I mean, I would be too… and…” I stopped when I realized that she probably didn’t care. “Sorry… I’m rambling.”

“No, it’s okay. It seems like you need to get it all out.”

I nodded and leaned against her. “I guess, they met at this party. Eren’s best friend was dating Erwin and he made Eren go with him. Well, at that party they fought but it ended up okay. They stayed together ever since… even after all the shit Erwin tried to break them up. Eren was illiterate before he met dad… he didn’t even pass high school. But that all changed and he ended up being a cop shortly after they got married and adopted us. That’s when shit got real. Dad was always mad that Eren wasn’t around. They would scream at each other for hours. Dad even left once. But they somehow worked it out. One day… I was at a friend’s house. I was like thirteen and his mom dropped me off and I walked in… and I knew. I knew something had happened. It wasn’t pretty… Levi had to explain to me why Eren wasn’t here and I broke… and… that’s why it’s like this now…”

“… That’s horrible…”

I picked up the picture on my bedside table. It was the same one I smashed all that time ago. “It’s okay. We just need time. Eren… was someone you can’t forget easily.” I ran my thumb over his face. I didn’t know if I should have told her all this, but it felt good knowing that I could talk to someone about it. I didn’t like bringing it up with dad. Even though I knew he wouldn’t mind it was still something I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to make his condition worse. He was already on meds for it. 

“… Is that him?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t really remember too much from that day, but I remembered that I had pushed Ellise in the mud and that was the first time Erwin scolded me. It was terrifying. I put the picture down and leaned into her embrace.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that for, but when Levi walked in with the pizza rolls, I knew he had heard me telling her by his expression. He didn’t stay for long and walked out. I put in a movie and we watched that as we waited for dinner.

~~~

-Levi-

~~~

At dinner time, I sat at the table and we ate in silence for a while before I smiled at Skylan. “So, what made you want to date this guy?”

She laughed and shrugged. “I don’t know. Something just made me want to? He seemed kinda down so I wanted to make him happy and then I found out I really liked him and yeah. It just sorta happened because I wanted to be friends.”

“Have you kissed?”

“No. I’m not like that. I like being able to get to know the person first before I move on in the relationship. We’ve held hands and I think he’s slapped my butt but that’s it.”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Oliver. “Really?”

“She has a nice ass!” He defended as if that gave him permission to do that to her.

“Ask at least. Don’t just be going around and doing that. That is so rude.”

“That’s what I said!” She huffed and poked him teasingly.

Ellise looked at them and shook her head. “I wouldn’t date him. He looks like a trouble maker.”

“When I showed my parents a picture of him, that’s what they said. But I hope he can change their opinions.”

“They will love me.” He said sarcastically.

For some reason, I was amused by their banter. It was refreshing seeing it. For once I wasn’t focusing on if I was fucking this up or not. I knew I wasn’t because Oliver found someone who wasn’t a slut. Oliver wasn’t a slut. And neither was Ellise. They were all well behaved except for their grades. It was like any other family. Time moved on. We picked up the pieces of our broken selves and walked into the future, but never forgetting Eren. We could never do that.

~~~

It’s been two years since Eren’s funeral. Things were getting dramatically better. Skylan had whipped Oliver back into shape. He looked happier and his grades reflected that. I had an A and B student for once. I didn’t feel like I had to go check and make sure he was self-harming. I didn’t worry about him at all. His future looked bright.

Ellise had a lot of friends now and her grades were great as well. It was like everything was coming together.

As for me… I was better. I had my routine. I would wake up, shower, get dressed, make breakfast, take my medicine and get everyone to school. I would teach my seven classes then get home. Ellise would get home after me and Oliver. I’d give them a snack and then make dinner. Then everyone would go to bed after doing homework or watching TV and movies. On Fridays, the kids stayed home for family game night. Saturday and Sunday, the kids would go out and hang out with friends and I would go over to Erwin and Armin’s. Today was one of those days.

I rang the doorbell before entering. I took off my shoes and Armin came down the hallway. I smiled and stroked his hair as he led me to Erwin. Armin was really well trained now. He sat on the floor until Erwin patted the seat next to him, reading a book. “Hello, Levi.”

“Hey, Erwin.” I sat down across from them and smiled at them. Armin was over the grieving stage as well and was now doing research to discover a cure for cancer or something. I didn’t really ask. I never understood what he was talking about when it came to his job. “Hello to you too, Armin.”

“Hello. How have you been, Master Levi?” Armin looked at Erwin and he smiled at him and ruffled his hair in a sign that Armin did good. I didn’t argue with Erwin’s rules for Armin. As long as Armin was okay with them, which he was, I didn’t complain too much. This one was new. Calling me master was something only Eren did, but I was allowing Armin to do it just to save an argument. I understood why Erwin wanted him to do this. It was so Armin felt submissive all the time no matter who he was talking to, unless it was another slave.

“I’ve been good. How have you been?”

“Good. I’m getting close to figuring out the cure soon.”

“That’s good.” Despite Armin being Eren’s best friend, I still didn’t know how to talk to him. He was serious. He wasn’t like Eren. He was smart and could pick you apart just by how you phrase a sentence. Of course, Erwin was like this too. I didn’t know how to talk to him either.

Hanji came in the room, which startled me. “Hello, my sweet Levi!” She hugged me and sat close to me, putting her elbow on my head.

“Get off me, shitty glasses.”

“Oh, come on, shorty. Don’t be like that.”

I glared at her and she took her elbow off me. 

“So, things have gotten better at your house?”

“Yeah. The kids are doing well in school at least.” I stood and went and got myself some tea. Erwin always did keep a box of my favorite tea around for emergencies. “What’s been new with you?”

“I finally got enough research to support reincarnation. Thanks to you and Eren’s dreams there was more than enough evidence.”

I nodded and looked down. I haven’t had another dream of the past since Eren was out of my life. Well, I couldn’t say that, but Eren was back to being a black figure that was just there. I didn’t dream about our sexual encounters or our dates at the walls. There was nothing. It was like our relationship never happened in that time period. 

“Hey, I know it sucks, but you’re really strong, Levi.”

“Yeah, no shit.” I took my tea out of the microwave before sipping some after adding some milk and sugar to it. I went to the closet and got out monopoly. Yes, the actual monopoly game, not the junior addition that took maybe thirty minutes to play. I wanted a long game. I didn’t want to go home to an empty house knowing Eren would never walk through that door again.

I stopped walking once I realized something though. Hanji had proven reincarnation. Which meant… in the future… could Eren and I be born again? Could we have another epic romance? Would we remember this past life and the one before it? My heart started beating quickly as tears slid down my cheeks. That’s right I could…

See his smile,

Hold his hand,

Kiss his lips,

Hear his laugh,

Touch his skin,

Memorize his body,

Make new memories with him,

And…

Fall in love with him all over again.

“Levi…what’s wrong?” Erwin asked looking up at me with concern.

I shook my head. “Nothing… Nothing… I was just thinking…” I wiped my tears away and started setting up the game. Why hadn’t I realized it before? After this life… years and years from now… I’ll be with him again. Our love is too strong to end here. I don’t care if our love was a tragedy every time. It didn’t matter. Because I could fall for him more and more each time. I haven’t needed my pills since this discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! Only 2 more chapters left! :O We have been on such a big journey! Thank you for all the support. I love reading all the comments even if I don't reply to them. I'm sorry to make you all cry. :)


	65. Graduation!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _This will be my last chapter._  
>  -Levi

Chapter 65

I woke up in a great mood that Saturday morning. I got in the shower, brushed my teeth and put on casual attire- a black t-shirt with white skinny jeans. I walked to the kitchen and made the family some breakfast. Today… was a very important day. It was Oliver’s graduation. It was a nice day and I was hoping it would continue that way. I smiled and walked over to the piano. I hadn’t visited it since my last breakdown. I sat down and started playing a few keys. The piano was always the one thing I could lean out. And Eren was the only one I played it for. “In one had is a loaded gun. My sweat is cold, but oh, the trigger is warm. I find my heart beating as fast as I run as I reach out to your shaking form.”

My eyes closed and I smiled the time during a cook out the kids were throwing water balloons and I chased Eren around the yard with squirt guns until we ended up tackling each other and getting mud all over us. I was so cold that day that afterwards Eren got me a blanket and we cuddled near the fire and roasted marshmallows. The picture was in Oliver’s room and it was going to be soon in his college dorm.

“I said, ‘calm down or else,’ to my racing heart and it keeps going on with no real end in sight and when it stops, we will see the start of the end. You’ll be the one to stop it.”

I could remember when I saw Eren in the super market. I purposely ran into him so he knocked down all my tea. I don’t know what was about him, but for some reason in that super market I wanted to keep him close. I wanted to make him tiny and keep him in my pocket where he was safe and sound. I wanted to try to love Eren. He made my heart race and stop all at once and everything we did was always an adventure. I couldn’t imagine never meeting him.

“So… what am I waiting for? There’s no escape from all the darkness inside. So…. What am I waiting for? But then I hear someone kicking down the door. So… what am I waiting for? There’s no escape from all the darkness inside. So…what am I waiting for?”

Eren was always there for me. Every step of the way. Even when he was off in a different state hating me. I remembered the long stupid nights I had that were filled with just me trying to get myself to finally end it. I remember not being able to and taking it out on my piano. I remember missing Eren. He had consumed my heart and I had paid for it when I broke things off with him.

“But now that darkness cannot reach us anymore. Once again, I take aim for the end and I kick, breaking down every door standing in my way. I hold my breath; the gun recoils as I cut my way through the ‘me’ of yesterday. I’ll let the darkness live on inside, but I swear it will not keep me from living on today. Soon, under the stars, we will meet again.”

In the back of my mind there was a memory from a distant time. A time where titans ruled the world, but one night Eren and I just didn’t have a care in the world. We just laid down on the wall and pointed to all the stars in the sky, dreaming about the future.

_“If I told you to run away with me, would you?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“If I told you to die with me, would you?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Promise me we will meet in the future.”_

Eren always did keep his promises.

I smiled and stood up jumping when Ellise hugged me from behind. She was now taller than me, but I had wished for this because she was a junior. I didn’t want to think about how next year I’d have to do this all over again. I hugged her back, “What?”

“I like it when you sing.”

“Heh, thanks. Shit, is breakfast ready?” 

“Not yet. You know Oliver loves your muffins.” She giggled, “He’s been hovering over the oven since you began to sing.”

“I figured that’s what he was doing. I guess we should end his suffering.” I chuckled and walked out to Oliver, pushing him aside gently and getting the muffins out. “You’re worse than a dog sometimes.” I teased him lightly.

“Hey, this is like my last couple times I’ll ever have these muffins. I need them.”

I saw so much of Eren in him despite him only knowing Eren for a couple short years. It made me smile. “Well, you have to let them cool.” He was already in his gown and to my request he let his light brown hair return. “I’m sending your senior pictures out to everyone after this.”

“Okay. Do you honestly think I’m going to get a lot of money out of my grad party?”

“Your uncle will give you a ton of money even if you don’t throw a party.”

“Then why are we?”

“For tradition.”

“That’s annoying.”

“I don’t see why you’re complaining. I’m the one going to be dealing with the family while you go off with your friends and play volleyball.”

He laughed and nodded. “Thanks, dad.”

“I don’t know why you hate the family. I mean, we have a psychopath, a bastard, a know-it-all, and a brother-conflicted aunt. Your family is golden.” I gave everyone two muffins and we ate at the table laughing about all the funny stories we had with each family member.

When I finally got them loaded into the car, I looked back at the house. I wonder if Eren was looking down on us and crying. He always was a sap that couldn’t control his emotions. I chuckled and got in the car before driving to the school.

We were going to be here forever. There was seven hundred kids. I knew our school was a huge school, but I didn’t know it was that big. I was sitting with the rest of the teachers while Ellise was sitting in the audience.

I caught sight of Oliver towards the back of his class that was sitting in white chairs. When the principal hushed everyone he spoke a speech that was just saying how he was proud of how everyone made it this far.

Oliver stood up and walked up to the microphone. He was nominated to be the valedictorian. “So, hey. I know, I know, it’s too early for this nonsense, but I’m glad you all can make it. I don’t know how well your four years went given that I hardly talked to any of you, sorry about that, but I think it’s all clear that we deserve to stand here and get these pieces of paper to say that we succeeded something that ultimately doesn’t matter because we still have college, but good for us.”

I chuckled. What a smart ass.

“That’s not to rain on your parade though. When I was just coming to this school my father died. I thought it was going to be the end of the world. Family is the only people you have at the end of the day after all. And no, I don’t mean that stereotypical family. I mean everyone in your life, friends, the people you live with, everyone. Someone out there is proud of you and if you think you have no one then you will meet someone that is proud of you. So, let’s make this dreadfully long ceremony into something to remember.” He gave a thumbs up before running back to his seat.

He was such an idiot.

It was a dreadfully long process, especially since Oliver’s last name was Yeager. He had chosen me to give him his diploma. I felt honored when he asked me. I figured he was going to pick his math teacher considering that was his favorite teacher, but he ended up asking me. I shook the students’ hands and told them good luck. When Oliver came up I gave him a hug and handed him his diploma.

Once all the people had their diplomas they threw their caps up in the air. I noticed Ellise had been taking pictures of Oliver the whole time. I was kind of glad, because I wanted to take a picture to Eren’s grave later. It wasn’t fair that we had pictures and he didn’t.

After the ceremony, I watched them march out and that was the end of it. My little boy… was graduated. It was bitter sweet really. I didn’t know how to feel. He was growing up and leaving me behind. In a couple months he was going to go to college. I couldn’t believe he was already this old. It felt like just yesterday I was picking him up from the adoption center. I wiped my eyes when I noticed they had tears in them. No, I wasn’t going to be one of those crying parents. I am Levi fucking Yeager. I do not cry.

Ellise met us at the car and we drove him. We only had a couple months left as a family of three before it became a family of two. I started crying all over again as I drove us home. I can’t believe my little babies are all grown up.

~~~

I walked to the cemetery and sat down in front of Eren’s grave. I ran my hand over it and replaced the flowers. “Hey, pup. How are you? I bet you’re laughing since I bawled at Oliver’s graduation.”

I ran my hand through the grass then tapped a couple family pictures to the cemetery stone. I made sure to laminate them so they would get weather damage. “They grew up okay

I guess. I don’t know how Oliver is going to survive in the world. He’s a terrible cook. He got accepted into college though. He’s going to become a teacher. Skylan got into the same college as him. They’re going to be together forever it looks like.”

I chuckled and leaned back and looked up at the sky. “It’s a nice day out considering its early spring. We celebrate your birthday. I know you must think we’re stupid for doing that, but it’s just something we like to do. We watch movies and have cupcakes. I know you always liked cake, but cupcakes are easier to eat. But, umm… yeah next year Ellise will graduate and I’ll be left to rot. Can you believe how old we are? We’re like… close to sixty. Like damn. I can’t believe we lived that long. Sometimes I feel like I need to go back to when I met you at the theater and just replay all this. It went by so quickly.”

I looked at a cloud passing by and reached out to put my hand over it. I smiled and chuckled. “Hey, I thought about this the other day, but do you remember in our other life how we promised to meet again in the future? I’m going to promise you all those things now. I promise to run away with you one day. I promise to die one day for you. And I promise to meet you in the future. If I suck and can only make one of those things come true then I’ll make the last one come true for sure.”

I started to get up and brush the dew off my clothes. “I better get home now. I got up early to come and see you. You don’t have to worry anymore. We’re okay. We’re all okay.” I put my forehead to his stone and smiled. “I miss you like crazy.”

I got up and headed back home.

~~~

“Red, left foot! Come on, Levi, put some effort in it!”

“I’m fucking five foot two damnit! My body wasn’t built for this game.” I yelled back at Hanji as I stretched my leg under Erwin and on the red. I fucking hated twister.

“Dad, this is so awkward. Why do we have to play this?” Oliver complained. It was his last night here and I didn’t want this to be his last memory, especially since Armin was draped over him in an awkward way.

“Fuck it.” I looped my leg around Erwin’s and made him fall, which caused Ellise then me then Oliver then Armin to fall.

Hanji whined and threw up her arms. “Levi! You’re no fun!” She huffed and walked into the kitchen to get us drinks. I didn’t care that she didn’t find me any fun.

~~~

I looked around Oliver’s dorm to make sure he had everything he needed. “You’ll call when you can, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you won’t be partying?”

“No.”

“You’re not lying?”

Oliver laughed, “Okay, maybe one or two a year.”

“Alright. Make friends… umm… yeah, it looks like you have everything.”

“I’ll come visit during holidays.” 

He was at a college three hours away from our house. I had protested, but it was a great school for him to go to. I didn’t want to leave him here. I was stalling and I knew it. “Alright… well… I guess this is it.”

“Yeah. Thanks for everything, dad.” He hugged me one last time before going over to Ellise and grinding his fist on her head gently. “And you! Stay out of trouble and keep up your grades!”

“I know! I know! I’m not seven anymore!” She huffed and crossed her arms.

“Hush, don’t make dad cry again!” He teased me, but we all knew I would. Everything was just changing so quickly. But that’s how life was. It was always changing.

“Okay. Well, you guys better start heading back before it gets too late.”

“Okay. I love you.” I kissed his forehead, even though it probably embarrassed him. I didn’t care. In fact, I took pride in it. Ellise got hugs and kisses and then we were walking out saying good bye to one another all the way down until we got in the car.

Leaving the college’s parking lot was probably the hardest thing I ever thought I had to do. It was like I was leaving my little baby all alone in a field of titans. Okay, maybe not exactly, but it felt like it. Although, it was sad, this was what every parent had to go through. If you got your kid to a good college and he could survive on his own you turned out to be a great parent. At least, that’s how I thought of it.

As I was going down the road I could have sworn I heard Eren’s sweet, gently voice say that he was proud of me, of all of us.

That’s all the comfort I needed.

That night, I dreamt of sneaking out to the walls, having sex in the dungeon, and going out on dates through the town. Although it was a place of mayhem, it was also our beginning. I couldn’t be more satisfied of this life and the past one. This is to a brighter future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! :) I can't wait for you to know the ending~! The song in this is the opening to Noragami. <3


	66. Our Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I love him so much._  
>  -Eren & Levi

Chapter 66

I happened to come across this book and I realized this was me. I’ll add a chapter in this worn down book of mine. For we did meet again.

-Eren (3003)

~~~

_Time to lay claim to the evidence, fingerprints sold me out, but our footsteps washed away from the docks downtown. It's been getting late for days and I think myself deserving of a little time off._

I sighed as I listened to his song. I was the only one to ever get his CDs but… fuck… he really deserved to be a celebrity. I was completely hung over. I was your typical high school student that didn’t do well in school and partied all weekend. Mondays were hell. But… he was my role model. I followed him like a damn dog. Even before I read our book, I had fallen for him. Yes, our book. Our change. I hug it close to my chest. I had read it last year and then out of nowhere this transfer student comes. I knew it was him. I had fallen for him the moment I laid eyes on him.

But he doesn’t know.

I went to school, only because Mikasa pushed me into the shower and Armin forced me on the bus. The eight hours were hell, but at the end of the day I waited by his locker. He had spotted me immediately, and ever since we’ve been hanging out daily.

“Where are we going today?” I asked as I watched him kneel down to gather his binders and put them neatly in his bag. He was wearing a tight black shirt that showed off his muscles perfectly. His hands were the best thing about him. They were made for the piano. His short black hair was such an old school look, but I honestly didn’t mind because it made him look fucking hot.

“Let’s go to the beach. You like going there, right?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Alright.” He put his bag on and then took my wrist- never my hand- and led me to his car.

_We can kick it here for hours and just mouth off about the world and how we know it's going straight to hell._

Levi laid out a blanket he always kept in his car and we ate ice cream, watching the wave’s crash onto the beach. “Mr. Smith is such a dick. He gave me another F today.”

I chuckled. It was so funny how in our past lives Levi had fallen for said Mr. Smith and now he couldn’t stand him. “Did you do your work?”

“Yes. He said that I write too tiny for him to grade. Like fuck him. I didn’t ask for his damn opinion on if my handwriting was the appropriate size. It’s not like there’s a rule that our handwriting can’t be twelve point font.” He bit at his ice cream angrily, which was adorable, before shivering and whimpering. His teeth was sensitive to the cold. I pulled him close. It was only natural for me to do. He didn’t say anything.

_Pass me another bottle, honey. The Jager's so sweet, but if it keeps you around then I'm down._

Levi handed me a bottle.

Adrenaline rushed through me. We were underage, but Levi was so brave. He would just whip out the alcohol in broad daylight. I took a swing. He chose to bring my favorite. It was so sweet.

_Meet me on Thames Street. I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough because the tension's like a fire._

Levi shivered and leaned closer to me. It was October, but we always got ice cream when we hung out.

“You know you can always report Smith.”

“Yeah, but what good will that do?” Levi rolled his eyes. “The guy pisses me off. He looks at me like he wants to eat me. Damn pedo.”

I burst out laughing and pushed him a little. “Don’t accuse him of that! He can get in serious trouble for that!”

Levi smiled and rolled his eyes. “Fucker deserves to rot in hell.”

I blushed. Levi’s smile was gorgeous. A fire was stirring in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach was taking notice to it. I wanted to lean down and kiss him, but I couldn’t. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know about anything.

_We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes and like a bad movie, I'll drop a line, fall in the grave I've been digging myself, but there's room for two six feet under the stars._

Before I knew what was coming out of my mouth I hit on him. “You could spam me all night and I still wouldn’t unsubscribe.”

Levi looked at me weird before laughing. “The hell was that, Yeager? Where did that come from?”

“Oh, uh… I heard it earlier today. I thought you would get a kick out of it.”

“Yeah, real smooth.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Don’t use pickup lines to hit on someone. It just makes me want to walk away from you.”

I was dying of embarrassment. How could I have done that?! Was I still so bad at picking up someone?! What was I thinking?! First “Damn, you’re hot” and now “You could spam me all night and I still wouldn’t unsubscribe”?! What the hell, Eren?! “I wasn’t trying to hit on you! I thought it was funny and wanted to tell you it! You know like, are you from Tennessee because you’re the only ten I see? Shit like that.”

_I should have known better than to call you out on a night likes, night like this. If not for you, I know I'd tear this place to the ground, but I’m alright like this, alright like this. I'm gonna roll the dice before you sober up and get gone. I’m always in over my head._

Levi shook his head. “You lost some points on my friendship scale.” He stood up and cracked his back. I suddenly felt cold. “Give me your trash I’ll recycle it.”

“Awe, how environmental.”

“Shut the hell up, Yeager.” I threw the stuff away and grabbed my wrist to help me up. He started to shake out the blanket before folding it up. We put it in his car before we started to walk along the shore line. He was pressed against me to stay warm. He had forgotten his jacket at home.

_Thames Street. I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough because the tension's like a fire._

I always liked it when we did this. Him holding onto my wrist. Us walking down this same old beach. It was calming and… it always made me want to pull him closer. It made me want to get the courage to lean down and kiss his lips that I’m always staring at. I’m not a brave person though. But I desperately want to be.

_We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes and like a bad movie, I'll drop a line, fall in the grave I've been digging myself, but there's room for two six feet under the stars._

“Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?”

Levi stopped us and looked up at me. “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile.”

I looked at him confused before laughing. “You’re an idiot. Stop mocking me.”

“I’m not.”

_Time to lay claim to the evidence, fingerprints sold me out, but our footprints washed away. I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day. Overdressed and underage (what a letdown). "Do you really need to see an ID?” This is embarrassing as hell (what a letdown). But I can cover for it so well. When we're six feet under the stars._

My face started to turn a bright red as I stared at him. What was he trying to say…? I gulped as my hands trembled. I knew he could feel the one… but… fuck this was embarrassing. My mouth was dry. I need to say something. 

“I normally don’t like little brats like you… but… It’s not fair for you not to know.” His cheeks were raising in temperature and my heart was racing. “I’ve been reading a book lately… and it’s not exactly why I’m telling you this… I’ve felt it before now… but… I realized this book was us… and…” He wasn’t looking at me, but he didn’t have to. “I love you.”

_Thames Street. I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough because the tension's like a fire._

And before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Before I knew it my hands were pulling him closer and I was kissing him back. I didn’t realize how much I missed this. It’s been far too long. Way too long. A thousand years to be exact. I kept pulling him closer and closer and soon I fell back into the sand. I leaned away and panted.

_We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes and like a bad movie, I'll drop a line, fall in the grave I've been digging myself._

“I-I…” I stuttered and tried to connect the words in my brain to my mouth. His gaze was so fucking beautiful. I was drowning in it.

_But there's room for two six feet under the stars._

“I… Umm… yeah… I…” Tears slid down my cheeks. I just missed him so much. I never thought he would know. I never thought he would remember. I kissed him again before leaning away.

_Six feet under the stars._

“I love you too.”

_Six feet under the stars._

This time… I’ll make sure to never let him go. This time… I won’t leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in this is called Six Feet Under the Stars by All Time Low.
> 
> But yeah. So that was the last chapter! I didn't think I'd have time to put it up tomorrow so you got it a day earlier. :3 This has been an amazing journey and I'm so glad you've enjoyed it. I'm probably going to take a break from writing this relationship, but I'm sure I'll be writing something else. :) Thanks for all the support! I really appreciate it! I'm so sad to part from this. D:


End file.
